(because this pic is just so cute :33 ;~;)

Ryeowook sat on the windowsill of his living room’s window, a mug of hot chocolate in his hands as he watched light raindrops falling to the ground quietly, his mind wandering. It caught him by surprise when Donghae had suddenly written him and he couldn’t get the message off his head.

“I just wanted to tell you I’m going out with Hyukjae. Thank you for everything, Wookie. If you ever changed your mind about us being friends, give me a call, okay. - Donghae”

He’d done it - Donghae had talked with the boy and they were together now. Ryeowook couldn’t help but be glad he had finally found his happiness, but then there was the little feeling of envy that made him smile into his mug sadly. He wished he’d been this brave too. It’d been two moths since they’d talked about it when Donghae had approached him at school, but now, he had his boyfriend he loved, while Ryeowook was alone with a piece of paper with the phone number of the person he longed for, still not sure if to call or not. He wanted and he would had done it thousands times already if it wasn’t for the fear Jongwoon wouldn’t want him anymore. He didn’t know what he would do if the man rejected him. It hurt to only think about it, yet he knew pretty well the probability it would happen was too big to just ignore it.

He sighed, sipping his drink slowly. Even if he called, what should he say?  ‘I’m sorry for breaking your heart back then but I like you now’? ‘Could you ever forgive me?’? Or just ‘I’m sorry, I love you’? He had no idea. And why would even Jongwoon want to talk with him? What was there to stop him from hanging up the moment he’d hear his voice? He felt so hopeless and it was all his own fault. If he had found out about his feelings earlier; if he hadn’t clung on Donghae so much, everything would have been much easier. He could have had his weird but funny, sweet, caring, gentle Jongwoon; he would have been happy too. What could he do now? He didn’t have the guts to go, pick the phone, neatly placed on his coffee table, up and call. He just couldn’t.

He leaned his head on the glass, his hair sticking to the wet surface, as he glanced at the paper laid next to the gadget the way he’d left it the last time he’d failed to make himself call. He didn’t really need it anymore, knowing the number by heart from all the times he’d typed it into his phone only to delete it a moment later, scared to press the call button; but refused to throw it out, looking at it every single time he felt the need to see the man. Not that it exactly helped to miss him less, but it was the closest thing to him he had. There was nothing else to remind him of him than the stupid few numbers scribbled on the piece of paper, ripped out of who-knows-where, and he found himself hating the fact. He wanted him back; he wanted their little talks about crazy things back; he wanted back the comfort being with Jongwoon gave him.

He wasn’t quite sure when he’d stood up and moved over to the couch, sitting on it, the empty mug still in his hands. His fingers shook when he typed the number, stopping for a second before he brought the phone to his ear, his heart pounding into his ribs violently, as the dial tone sounded endlessly into the silence of his apartment. His mind went blank; he didn’t really know what was he going to do or say, but he had to try. He couldn’t go on like that, in regret and hopes, convincing himself that maybe later, he’d finally do it, even though he knew he won’t. He needed to do something now; he needed to at least apologize.

A quiet beep brought him back to the reality and he felt guilt and longing to pour over him when the line got connected and the voice he’d missed so much came from it, sounding just a little tired, just a little different than he remembered it. “Yeoboseyo?” it said and Ryeowook found himself mute. He couldn’t find anything to reply with as he listened to the boy calling for him in confusion again and again, tears rolling down his cheeks and he didn’t even care to wipe them off, until he was sobbing, clutching on the phone for a dear life. He didn’t know where it suddenly came from, all the emotions that piled up in him in the last year forming into little whimpers, while his lips broke into smile.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jongwoon asked, his voice worried.

“Jongwoon-hyung..,” was all he could say when the crying subsided a bit, and the latter gasped in surprise. “R-Ryeowook?”

He nodded, the smile never leaving his face. “Yeah.”





**





“What are you doing?” Henry asked curiously, peeking Sungmin over a shoulder, his front comfortably resting against the older man’s back. They came to the countryside for a weekend to take a break from the rush of the city, but his lover never took his eyes off his university’s pamphlets and Henry was honestly bored of sulking over it. It was their first trip together in the more than three months they were going out and he wanted to have fun. They could always read the papers later, right?

“Looking for a new major,” Sungmin smiled lightly, sensing the boy’s disappointment, as he took his hand, intertwining their fingers, caressing it gently with his thumb. Ever since Henry’s birthday, he’d become much more opened and accepting to him, treating him as his real boyfriend, allowing him to touch him almost freely, yet it was still hard for him to be more intimate than holding hands or hugging. The fear from closeness still remained deep in his heart, but Henry never said anything about it, being all bright and happy from his improving condition instead. It had taken Sungmin a lot of courage to tell him what were the stuffs he had to do on his birthday, scared Henry would be hurt by it, but the boy’s lips had broken into a huge smile and he’d embraced him tightly, whispering ‘thank you’s and ‘I love you’s again and again until Sungmin blushed, begging him to stop. He didn’t regret what he’d done even a single second. He was free now; he had Henry loving him, everything was just as it was supposed to be.

Henry raised his eyebrows in confusion. “Huh? Why?”

“I was thinking... you know, the psychology isn’t really for me,” he sighed, taking off his thick black framed glasses before turning to the latter sadly. “Maybe music or something will do..?”

The boy looked him in the eyes for a long time, a frown forming on his face slowly. “Lee Sungmin, when is the last time you did kung-fu?” he said, voice a bit scolding and it was Sungmin’s turn to raise his eyebrows questioningly. “What does it even has in common with everything?”

“You’re thinking odd stuffs.”

Sungmin couldn’t help but laugh as Henry pouted, his chubby cheeks becoming even cuter and he felt an urge to pinch and squish them. He stopped laughing abruptly, just staring. He’d never noticed how much he adored the boy, before. “You’re right, it’s been some time,” he voiced quietly, almost in nostalgia, squeezing Henry’s hand lightly. He hadn’t realized how long he hadn’t been training until now. Last time was the day he and Kyuhyun- he shook his head to get rid of the thoughts. He was over him, he didn’t want to bring it back. It was just him and Henry now.

“Good thing you got him off the papers, Henry, we thought he’d soon dump you for them,” another voice chuckled and they both looked up. They’d completely forgotten they weren’t on the trip alone. Hyukjae just grinned widely, pulling Donghae out the door. “The weather is nice, let’s go out!”

“Hyukjae-hyung is right, we shouldn’t just sit around,” Henry smiled, tugging on the latter’s hand to get him stand up. There wasn’t really much to do more than a walk, but he couldn’t care less. Everything was perfect as long as he was doing it with Sungmin. As long as Henry could be with him, he was happy.



Hyukjae snuggled closer to Donghae’s side, sitting on the grass next to the cottage they were staying in with Sungmin and Henry, staring at the afternoon sky lazily. He couldn’t help all the memories to come back as the strong arms encircled around his waist possessively and he felt a loving kiss being placed into his hair when he hugged the man back. He wouldn’t have believed it if someone had told him how much they’d come through, back then in the English course when he’d seen him for the first time. He remembered it like it was yesterday - the sparkle in his eyes when he’d talked about his family and pets in his broken English, getting half of the sentences wrong but it hadn’t stopped him from being enthusiastic at all. He remembered the awe when he found out he was studying to be a kindergarden teacher; the liking for him he felt growing stronger with every talk they had; the frantic beat of his heart when the man smiled at him happily; he could never forget it - the beginning of them; the time he fell in love with the childish Lee Donghae only to break him, heal him, ruin him again and then get him to be his boyfriend. He still doubted he deserved him but wouldn’t let go of him even if his life depended on it. He just loved him too much.

“What are you thinking about?” Donghae’s voice sounded into the silence quietly and Hyukjae brought his eyes up to meet his with a gentle smile. “How we got together.”

He giggled lightly. “Isn’t it a bit too angst story to think about at a time like this?”

“Maybe... but the result is the same.”

Donghae nodded, his fingers absentmindedly playing with the pitch black locks of the guy’s hair. “Neh, Hyukkie,” he said after a moment of comfortable silence, “do you remember how you confessed to me?”

Hyukjae’s cheeks burned in sudden embarrassment as he recalled the day he’d blurted out his stupid, creepy confession, regretting it ever after. From all the ways one can tell someone he loves him, he’d chosen the most idiotic one. Seriously, who comes to their beloved one talking about how nice the weather is before confessing? Not mentioning it’d been raining that day. “U-Uhm.”

“Do it again.”

“W-What?” he jumped a bit in surprise and Donghae just smiled. “Do it again. Properly, this time.”

Hyukjae bit his bottom lip shyly, feeling his heart racing once again, the same way it had done so many times when he’d been like this with Donghae, before looking up at the anticipating expression on the latter’s face. “I love you, Hae,” he mumbled almost inaudibly and Donghae grinned his huge, delighted smile. “I love you too, Hyukkie.”





**





Kyuhyun breathed in, setting a backpack more comfortably on his shoulders as he looked around a foreign airport. So this was China; the place where he was going to live from now on. He couldn’t help a loneliness to fill him at the thought of everything he was forced to leave behind in Korea when he moved here, to a country which’s language he didn’t even know properly. He missed it already - the familiar street down to his parent’s house, the big old building of his university, the campus’ park where he used to watch his ex-boyfriend train martial arts, unnoticed... it all felt so unreal and far now that he stood there, a suitcase in one hand, passport in other, waiting for whoever was supposed to pick him up to bring him to his new school. But it wasn’t the things he felt the desire to see again; it was the people. He wondered if his hyung was good now; if Ryeowook really called; if Yoona overcame the loss of the child already; if his parents were well and missed him at least a bit; if Sungmin told the boy about how he’d approached him few days before Kyuhyun had left. He felt guiltiness pouring over him again as he recalled the day - the determination in Sungmin’s eyes even though his body shook slightly, and the strong words he spat at him, not giving him a chance to even say anything.



“I’m going to get over you, Kyuhyun,” he glared coldly into the latter’s eyes, ignoring the little trembles of his own body, telling him he’d break down any time soon. “I can’t hurt Henry anymore. I did horrible things and he doesn’t deserve it, I don’t deserve him, but I can’t let him go. Sungjin told me... no, everyone told me to let him be; that I’m still too into you for us to work, but I can’t, Kyuhyun. I can’t. I want to love him, but I need my heart back first. Yeah, I know, it’s cheesy, whatever. I just came for it. I came to tell you I’m going to love him as he deserves.”

Kyuhyun heard his voice trailing off a bit at some point, but he couldn’t really grasp when, the strength of the message leaving him stunned. Being it anyone else, he would probably laugh at how pathetic it was to go to your ex-lover, telling him you’re moving on, but Sungmin was different. Watching him defeated and numb for last half a year, he knew too well how much it had to took him to stand out like this in front of him, getting his messed up emotions straight, deciding how his life was going to be. He knew many sides of Sungmin from the time they were dating, but this one, he admired the most. He wanted to tell him he didn’t have to worry, because he was leaving; he wanted to apologize and wish him good luck; he wanted to do anything, but his body didn’t move, his voice didn’t come out and he just watched the boy sighing and nodding a bit to himself before turning on his heel and making to leave.

“I should thank you, though,” he said quietly, stopping just for a moment before leaving Kyuhyun for one last, final time, “for the nice times we had together. And for showing me where I belong. I wish you the best.”



Kyuhyun sighed deeply, the memory too fresh in his mind. It hurt to hear Sungmin thanking him for ruining him; he didn’t want him to feel like that. He should hate him and want to punch the living hell out of him, not feel grateful, still Kyuhyun could understand where the feeling came from. He was okay now, he had a boyfriend who loved him as he should be loved; who cared for him as he should be cared for; he would be glad too.

Kyuhyun looked around again, his eyes landing on a long-legged, red-haired guy, waving his hands at him with a bright smile. “You’re Kyuhyun, right? I’m your new roommate. Welcome to China,” he beamed cheerfully and the latter just nodded, a small faint smile crossing his lips. Maybe, this was a beginning of a new, better life for him, too.

***

A/N: it's over. can you believe it? after more than a year, it's done. it's like... i dunno, like I don't have anything to do anymore. it's so sad and relieving at the same time and... i just hope you enjoyed it and thank you so much for being with me until the end. thank you to my 32 subscribers and occasional commenters (is it even a word? :D) for helping me through with this. it's really thanks to you that i managed to finish. thank you so much TT TT and don't kill me for Kyuhyun, okay? i wanna maybe write the LayHan next ;~;

A/N2: i'll maybe update a links for download later for those, who would feel like downloading it. i dunno if there's someone like that, tell me if you are one of them, but i will do it anyway :D oh yeah, and give me a last comment, will you? pretty please, bbuing bbuing (okay, i'll stop here :DDDD)

A/N3: happy yesterday's kyumin day! :33 <3