vi: placere
atheismIn her eyes, to love was to give.
It was altruism in a way that went beyond simple selflessness; it was giving yourself utterly to the other person and not expecting anything back. It was something so pure and wonderful and terrifying; it was trust where it was not guaranteed; it was putting someone else's life above your own.
And there was no greater pleasure, really, than having someone to love.
--But she supposed it was because she, inherently, was a generous person. She gave more than she took, kept giving and giving until it began to wear her down--and even then some. Perhaps it was because of this that Jiyong had been attracted to her.
"Don't try so hard," he would remark to her occasionally, tugging at her coiffed hair and pulling locks free from the tight braid she'd pulled them into. "It's alright to be selfish."
"As selfish as you?" She would remark back to him, pulling free from his invading grip and fixing her hair. "It's not right."
"Is it selfish to accept all of your love and give it all back to you?" Jiyong would finally ask, taking hold of her hand and stilling it. "I don't want your love. I want you to take my love."
She would pause, looking at him carefully.
He would place her hand on his chest, and caress her cheek with his fingers, blunt nails skimming against the flesh of her earlobe. It was a loving touch, full of grace and the immortal care. She would lean into his touch, feel the warmth of his palm against her cheek, feel his fingertips bury into her hair, smell the scent of cigarettes and her perfume on his wrist.
"What love out there is more wholesome than a god's?" He would ask finally, a timeless smile on his face as he leaned in to kiss her. His nose would brush against her cheekbone, and his eyelashes against her brow. His breath would fan out against her skin, a cool, shocking puff of air making her toes curl and fingers tremble.
When he would finally pull away, she would push him back.
The distance between them was one similar to a crevasse; unassuming but concealing a deep chasm, deep and foreboding enough to make them almost--strangers.
"A god's love is fickle. All I need is the promise that yours will be constant."
"And it will be. I am all yours."
I couldn't resist. I have to give spotlight on a few particular readers who have really impressed me with their insightful comments. Primarily: arcenciel, starsinhereyes, visualbutterfly, and sicachuichooseyou.
Sicachuichooseyou in particular had this amazing comment for chapter five (v: lune) I have to reiterate:
Neither of these characters are perfect but it seems like they are meant for each other because they love each other that much. However, their love for each other can be misunderstood, because based on how they show it to each other, it's very different. Such as in this chapter, we mostly see Jiyong's love for Yoona when she's actually asleep. He describes her in the most beautiful of ways when she isn't even awake to witness his feelings for her. What I really like about their relationship though as well as this chapter is that in the beginning, Jiyong was hurting, the moon was hurting him but when he saw his Yoona asleep next to him, he seemed to have calmed down-for her sake-he didn't want to wake her up. I find that very sweet of him. Love this chapter.
It's a beautiful way of describing what happens in that chapter (particularly in relation to the relationship between Jiyong and Yoona), albeit the symbolism of the chapter isn't touched upon. Perhaps one day, I will explain every little nuance between Jiyong the god and Yoona his human that appears in every chapter.
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