TWO

The steps were heavy, and the stairs felt like Mount Everest. It wasn’t until Daesung had reached their bedroom, that he collapsed to his knees.

There was a voice inside his head, reminding him of the fact that he knew. Because he did, he’s known all along. He saw it in the way Seunghyun looked at him, heard it in the way he talked to him, and felt it in the way they touched. Even so, Daesung had chosen to ignore the signs for so long. He rather lived in that ignorant bliss where everything was perfect, even though things had been far from for months.

He sat there for a short while before gathering the broken leftovers that were him, and buried himself under the covers of their bed.

Not more than twenty minutes must have passed when Daesung heard the door to their bedroom open, followed by some shuffling. Next he felt the bed sag and the blanket being pulled lightly.

It felt so surreal, lying in bed with Seunghyun. He figured it wasn’t a normal thing, sleeping in the same bed as the man that just told you he doesn’t love you anymore, yet there they were.

He could almost sense the older man lying beside him, and he suddenly felt extremely aware of how loud he was breathing. Oddly, it bothered him, and he wished he could just stop doing that.

“It’s not that I don’t care for you anymore, Dae,” Seunghyun broke the heavy silence as he reached for the other’s hand.

Daesung didn’t pull away. “I know.”

Another moment passed as they both thought of things to say, and both figured it might be best not to say anything.

“Seunghyun,” Daesung interrupted their thoughts after a while. “Just…” He swallowed, why was this so hard to ask? “If you really don’t love me anymore… Then tell me, how do I unlove you?”

Again, Seunghyun didn’t know what to say. He felt terrible, and he assumed Daesung did, too. He wished he could make this less hard, but he didn’t have a clue how. So he just held onto the younger’s hand tighter.

Daesung sighed. “Let’s just sleep so the day will end quickly,” he brokenly let out while untangling their hands. He turned around, back facing Seunghyun, and he stayed that way for the rest of the night.

The instant the younger had let go of his hand, Seunghyun felt even worse. There was a part of him that wanted to keep holding hands, but he was fully aware that would have been more than selfish, and more than unfair.

When they woke up, it felt like any other day to Seunghyun. Daesung was lying there, next to him. He then got up, showered, and when he arrived downstairs, there was breakfast waiting for him. He quickly ate up in fear of having to actually converse with Daesung if he took too long, and then scattered off to work.

He worked late hours, as in extremely late. He didn’t want to go home till he was sure Daesung would already be asleep. In the end, he stayed the night in a nearby hotel.

It took him two days to gather up the courage to go back home.

When he opened the door, it felt oddly empty, as if something important was