Unknown to Myself

Open The Door To Me, Close The Door To The World

Pov Leo

We arrived at the most feared house in a matter of minutes, no time for realize, that he already opened the door and closed it once we were inside. He wanted me to know his "friends", but I didn't see any trace of other people beside us.

As always, once the silence developed between us, the same un-human feelings returned. It seemed to be like a song that you replay many times. It gives you the same feelings even when you know all the words. It was the same. I knew that staying with him would always give me that sensation of constant "emptiness and fullness at the same time", but still, I shivered everytime it happened. Maybe I'm not ready or I'm just an fool that wants to know and learn something that is obviouly bigger and stronger than it. The fool trapped in me wants to even run after the Time and try to catch it. But it was running out, it was dangerously running out.

I didn't know why all this situation gave me such a strong connection with the time. Time is something that is always with us, is that thing that we need to grow up, is that thing that runs and slips between our fingers fastily and is that thing that cannot be rewinded or stopped.

Just staying with him made me realize that until that moment, I only lost time. Yes, I fulfilled my time with doing the things I like but I didn't fully catch it as I had to. And with him, I was doing the same lame mistake. Maybe it sounds meaningless, but in him there was something I was losing, and I was losing it because I was keeping myself into a barrier filled with selfishness and fears. 

I couldn't lose a glimpse of him. That glimpse was caught in the time, and only by fully living it and fighting with it from now would make it clear to me.

I raised my eyes from the floor, and tried to brush all those thoughts off of my mind, so that I could think clearly. He was looking at me, and when I looked at him he smiled. My heart was as always frozen and stopped. I let my eyes wonder for the room we both were into, and tried to understand why it always scared the crap out of people. The room was obviously a living room. It was wide, and full of strange stuff, scattered all over it. Even if scattered, I noticed they were in a kinda particular order, that order made me unable to define it as "messy". From the windows came a really weak light, but I could see through the blue curtains, how the sky was grey and cloudy.

-Here you are Jiho!!- I was brought back to reality by a high-pitched male voice. I looked at Jiho, and saw him smiling when he heard that. Well, he smiled and I got a heart attack. We started in the right way I must say. I saw one of the closed doors that were in front me, opening, revealing a tall, wide shoulders boy, followed by some others that were kinda shorter compared to him.

That boy looked at me and smiled, as I kept myself silent and motionless in front of him, with both of my hands held in the pockets of my jeans. I tried to smile back before another voice interrupted in the silence.

-Jiho, you found such a brave girl...- another boy appeared, with a kinda low voice and dark hair. And two dimples, which appeared when he finished his sentence.

-I know...she didn't scream or run away when we first met- Jiho pointed out, as I was getting confused as more voices and faces appeared. The boy laughed rumoursly, revealing some cute bunny teeth.

Ok, this was not what I've envisionated happening once I had met them. I excepted some kind of Addams family or at least some scary , not those cute fluffy boys. Maybe was all apparence, but...they were surely cuter than monsters or stuff like that.

-Yep, I'm brave, is part of me- The wide-shoulders boy smiled and came closer to me. I wasn't scared but he was so close that I was about to tell him to get the off and step back. I saw Jiho raising an eyebrow and putting on some angry expression. He even had his hands held in punches. I came to look again to the tall boy in front of me, who raised my chin and smiled.

-You are even cute!-

-Oh, God Dongsung stop it! Some manners are never rejected- Jiho's voice rang out as he tried to smile.

He was pretending to smile, and I didn't know what the heck was happening, much less why he got angry all of a sudden. I thought I was messing up with my life like I never did. The tall boy, whose name was Dongsung, looked at him and smirked. Dongsung stepped away from me and I came to breathe again. The air was suddenly heavy and suffocating.

-Start to say your names instead!- Jiho continued, directing that command to the others too. The dimpled boy seemed to smirk to his reaction.

In a few minutes, their names were collected up in my mind, as some of them sat of the dark blue couch, some sat on some chairs appeared from nowhere, some on the ground, telling me to sit wherever I wanted to. I decided the ground for some reasons and sat next to Hansol who smiled brightly when he saw that.

They got all silent, and all their eyes were on me. This was kinda comic to see. They wanted me to say something, and that was totally normal, because each of them talked about himself, giving me many views and shades about their all different personalities, while I was just there, mute like a fish. Really comic situation. I breathed deeply as I saw Taeyang and Jiho smile at how funny this looked.

-Well- I rumorously joined my hands and looked at them with a very theatrical expression, while earning some laughs by Hansol and Sangwon. They were really funny, and I still couldn't understand why people fear them so much.

-You kids don't laugh- Dongsung said while pointing at them with a finger.

-It's ok it's ok...I know I'm some kind of funny human, so...My name's Leo Minhyuk, I was born and raised up in Fukuoka prefecture in Japan even though both of my parents are Korean, I know some languages and I'm addicted to food and music and I don't know what to say anymore...Ah yeah, I'm a weird person-

 

Pov Jiho

As I heard her words, I couldn't help but smile to what she said. She is so lovely to listen, she's always joking upon herself, and that amazed me in the deep. But then, I know there's another side of her, the side that shows when we speak, the side that I noticed, looks in the deep of everything, the side that shook the reality I'm trapped into. I'm trapped into something I have yet to accept and learn from it. They reality of being a Wizard is the coldest someone can ever experience with a human body. Until the day I met her, I saw all of this as a punishment for a sin I had difficulty to remember and face. Learning to accept it was the hardest thing to do. It still is, and maybe with her it got only worse, because wanting to know her until the deep now was the real sin and the real problem, but what I got from her, the things I learned about myself in the short time we spent had no price. I wonder what I should do now that I'm into this maze, where I don't know whether the real exit is accepting what I feel and don't care, or deleting her from my mind. I'm lost.

I looked at her and felt a strange thrill down my back, as the guys were talking with her about stuff that I could hardly understand, I was so caught up in my thoughts that I almost forgot how Dongsung was trying to get her in that moment. He was a Lion, along with Taeyang and Sangwon which origins were still unknown to me, more or less he would have the same problem as mine whether he decides to accept the feelings that staying with her would bring.

Everything seemed to go on without any particular problem, beside the storm that was living inside of me everytime I let thoughts engulf me.

Well, now, together with Time, my nature, reality, I even have to fight with jealousy? With a strenght that wasn't not even mine, I felt that fighting was the best choice. I'll fight against the weirdest things I'll discover of me, because I came to know that many things of me are unknown to myself.

In reality I was unknown to myself. So the cold, emotionless me was just a mask, a mask I wore for too long.

 

 

 

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xcherrytomatox
#1
Chapter 4: Omgg ;-; i'm already loving this story ! Hope you will update soon ! Can't wait ~ kyaaaaaa
Yuna_Rose
#2
Chapter 2: Omg~♡ this story is so amazing! ;---; It is absolutely beautiful! Please update chapter 3, 4, 5 and all others soon!! ~~ cant wait to go on reading! ♡ *dies in all the feels*
morningglorious
#3
this story seems interesting!^^