“Bambam…” Jaebum starts in a tiny voice. He holds the sonogram behind his back and swallows thickly.
“Yes love?” Bambam smiles at Jaebum. They’ve been together for six months and Bambam is very much in love with Jaebum.
“I- I-” Jaebum stutters. He’s so nervous that’s his heart might beat out of his chest.
“You?” Bambam asks, trying to encourage his boyfriend to tell him the problem.
“H-here.” Jaebum finally says with a shaking voice. He gives Bambam the sonogram and the younger stares at it.

“Jaebum… is this..?” he asks and Jaebum nods, his head hanging.
“But I- we used a !” he finally explodes and Jaebum flinches.
“This is not real. This is a joke Jaebum, it’s not funny!” he shouts and Jaebum bites his lip. He wants to tell Bambam to off, that he’s not joking. But he doesn’t want to fight with Bambam. He loves Bambam so much.
“It’s real Bambam…” he whispers in a small voice.
“I’m pregnant.”

“We used a Jaebum! How could you be pregnant?!” Bambam hisses.
“I don’t know! The- the could have been torn, I don’t know!” Jaebum starts to sound desperate and Bambam glares at him.
“Are you cheating on me?” he asks, voice full of venom and Jaebum stares.
“Are you accusing me of cheating?” he spits and Bambam glares.
“Who was it? Mark?”
“How can you say that Bambam!? Mark is my best friend and I love you!” he shouts and tears starts falling down his cheeks.
“So it was Mark. It was when you left that early in the morning to visit him last month.”
“Are you kidding me Bambam!? Mark gave birth last month! I visited him on the hospital!” Jaebum shouts and Bambam slams his hand into the table.
“Abort it.” he says and Jaebum’s jaw falls.
“You’re asking me to abort our child?”
“Yes I am. Abort that parasite.”
“I won’t do it Bambam. If this is how you’re handles this, then I guess it’s over.” Jaebum stands up and Bambam continues to glare at him.
“Well I guess so.”
“You will come to your senses one day Bambam. I’ll be waiting.” Jaebum spits and turns around to leave.

Bambam spends the coming months alone. He goes out clubbing but he never takes someone home. In his mind, he still sees himself with Jaebum.
It ends in a lot of tears and he regrets saying all those mean things to Jaebum. Now that he thinks it through, he would want to marry Jaebum and maybe have a child. But his mind had been such a mess and he was scared.
He was scared that the kid was his and he needed to take responsibility. He wasn’t ready to become a father, he knew nothing about taking care of another little body. What if he accidently hurt his child?

Four months after Jaebum walked out on him, Bambam gathers the courage to go to Jaebum’s apartment.
But when he gets there, Jaebum’s roommate, Yugyeom, tells him that Jaebum’s gone living with Mark for a while.

So he gathers a bit more courage and goes to Mark’s house.
“Hello Bambam.” Mark says, his voice is soft and he doesn’t sound mad. In his arms is a small baby, gurgling happily.
“Is Jaebum here?” he asks and Mark smiles.
“He is, come in.” Mark says and backs a little.
“I’ll go get him. But if you hurt him again, I’ll kick your .” he tells Bambam and the younger nods. Bambam swallows as Mark leaves the room. He have no idea of what to say.

“Bambam?” Jaebum enters the hall. His stomach is bulging out pretty much now and he’s glowing. He’s never been more beautiful.
“Jaebum…” Bambam starts and Jaebum smiles a little. He knew it would be like this. He knew Bambam would come back.
“I’m sorry Jaebum. I’m sorry for what I said and how I acted. I was stupid and my mind was a mess. I know this doesn’t change what I did but I want you to know how sorry I am. I am scared. I am scared to be a father, Jaebum. I have no idea on how to be a father. I thought.. I thought it was only fair for the child to not be brought into the world so I couldn’t hurt it. I’m so sorry Jaebum, I’m so sorry baby.” he rambles and Jaebum can feel tears rise in his eyes. They finally spills when Bambam is addressing their child.
“Can I… Can I hug you?” Bambam asks carefully and Jaebum nods.
Slowly Bambam approached Jaebum and wraps him into a big hug. Jaebum sobs into Bambam’s chest and Bambam just hums.

“I realized one thing during these months…” Bambam says slowly when Jaebum’s sobbing has died down a bit.
“And?” Jaebum asks, voice a bit hoarse.
“I want to marry you. Im Jaebum, would you marry me?” he asks and Jaebum’s breath hitches. He’s quiet for a moment before Jaebum wails on the top of his lungs.
“Yes. Of course.” he sobs and Bambam smiles.
“I don’t have a ring right now, but we can buy it together.” he whisper and Jaebum nods.


“Kunpimook Bhuwakul, are you being mean to Jaebum again?” Mark asks and enters the hall.
“No!” Bambam loudly protests.
“I will drive you out of the house if you are.”
“Mark!” Jaebum sobs and Bambam helps him to dry his tears.
“Bambam proposed to me!” he wails and Bambam is still trying to calm him down. Mark smiles widely at both of them.
“Nice to see that you came to your senses Bambam.” he says and Bambam nods.

***

Just a month later, Jaebum moves into Bambam’s apartment. They slowly gets into a routine that fits the both of them.

“What are we going to name our baby?” Bambam asks as he traces invisible patterns on Jaebum’s nine month pregnant belly.
“I don’t know. Do you have anything good?” he asks and Bambam hums for a moment.
“I would like Kyungmi if it’s a girl.” he says and pecks Jaebum on the lips.
“And if it’s a boy?”
“I don’t know… Jongsoo maybe?” he asks and Jaebum hums in agreement.
“Do you want to sleep?” Bambam asks and Jaebum nods.
“Good night.” he pecks Jaebum on the nose and the elder male smiles.
“Good night Bambam.”

“Bambam.” Bambam slowly opens his eyes and sends Jaebum a dazed look.
“I’m in labor. “ he says and suddenly, Bambam is awake.
“Oh my god oh my god oh my god.” he chants as he runs around the apartment, trying to dress.

“Do we have the bag, phone. Have your water broken yet? Do I need to call an ambulance? What do I do!?” he panics and Jaebum just rolls his eyes.
“Calm down Bambam.” he says and moves to stand up. Suddenly Bambam is beside him and helps him up.
“Careful Jaebum.” he says and Jaebum snorts.

After a good five minutes of panic, Bambam manages to calm down and help Jaebum down to the car. He tries to drive as safe and fast as possible.
When they get to the hospital, the nurse asks if it’s not Bambam who need some anesthesia, just to calm down.
Jaebum laughs from his place in the wheelchair and tells her that Bambam is an idiot. Bambam tunes them out, he’s far more concerned about their baby.

The birth only takes an hour and Jaebum doesn’t scream.
“I thought you were going to scream.” Bambam says as the nurses takes away their baby to clean him or her. They hadn’t told Bambam or Jaebum the gender yet. But Bambam doesn’t really care. He’s still in a bit of a shock, he got to cut the umbilical cord. And he did it without fainting.
“It wasn’t that bad, I had a bit of anesthesia too.” Jaebum says and Bambam smiles a bit.
“Are you okay Bambam? You look a bit pale.” Jaebum says but Bambam shakes his head.
“I’m just fine, a bit shocked.” he says and Jaebum nods.

“Congratulations, it’s a boy!” the midwife says when she enters with a bundle of white fleece.
“A boy Bambam.” Jaebum whispers as she places the bundle in his arms. The boy is unmistakably Bambam’s.
“He looks like I did when I was a baby…” Bambam whispers and Jaebum smiles. The boy wiggles a little and whimpers. Jaebum just smiles and lifts the boy up to his .
“I’m so sorry Jongsoo…” Bambam whispers and reaches out to the boy’s hair.
“You’re here now and that’s what matters. Let’s put the past behind us, okay?” Jaebum says and Bambam leans closer to kiss him on the cheek.
“Thank you.”