It was lunch, and I was sitting by myself, rewatching the music video teaser.

No words could describe how happy I was with them picking this song to make a music video out of. It makes me sort of wish that they would’ve done the same thing with Why I like you, a song from their 3^rd album. But of course, I did like It’s You, but just leaving Why I like you on the album with no music video and only one live performance was just so wrong in so many ways. That song had so much potential—and oh gosh, Kyuhyun’s way of saying “y” was just the cutest thing ever since he had such an accent, that it was like “Secxhy”

Maybe it was silly of me watching the same 30 second teaser every chance I got for the past 24 hours (Wait, no, it hasn’t even been 24 hours yet). But regardless, it made me happy. It’s one of those little things in life that made me happy, and it’s something I don’t believe anyone that doesn’t have a fandom can ever fathom.

I still had twenty minutes left of lunch (my last hour, the teacher was cool enough to let us out 5 minutes earlier than usual so that we could get to lunch before the crowd hit) so I took my notebook out and started doodling my characters/the super junior members on it. It was just a quick doodle of one of the scenes that I had written on an upcoming chapter. My readers absolutely love it whenever I post a sketch of what the upcoming chapter had to hold—because most of the time, if taken out of context, it would be the stupidest thing ever. Normally, it would be a quick yet detailed sketch—mainly because I have a bit too much time on my hands, but it made me happy that I made my readers happy.

My earphones were plugged in, and I was doodling away—what better way to enjoy life other than this? I was listening to a song from my favorite group with no one bothering me. Whereas, at my old school, some kid from my middle school would’ve just made fun of me for doing so. Saying, rather loudly, “WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO MUSIC WHEN YOU CAN’T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE LYRICS TO?!” in which, I could never reply with an answer, because there was no answer. I don’t know why I listened to their music. I just liked it, and isn’t that enough? Isn’t music just universal?

The lunch bell rang, and I quickly put my stuff in my bag and went to my 5^th hour, chemistry.

Like the other classes, I sat alone. Which is totally fine, in a way, but it sure was lonely.

It makes me wish that I had some sort of strength to talk to someone, or ask if a seat was free. But I don’t quite believe that I’m socially inept to talk to someone new just yet. Maybe later, but not just yet.

“Excuse me, is this seat open?”

I looked up from my doodle and a girl was looking at me. She was plus sized, wore glasses, and was African American. Her hair was straight, and I don’t know what else to describe her as other than beautiful. She gave out a very calm and kind aura.

“Um, s-sure.” I say.

She sat down, “I’m Victoria by the way.”

I looked at her, “I’m Jane.”

“Ah.” She nodded, “If you don’t mind me asking, where are you from?”

I blinked, looking at her.

Now, this is a normal question I get, mainly because I’m Asian. Not only that, but I get mistaken as an exchange student often whenever I wear my oversized glasses. I’ve just stopped getting frustrated with this question—or at least, I try to be—because most of the time, people don’t know. But it does get a bit irritating.

“America.” I replied. “I’m American.”

Suddenly, she just realized what she said, “Oh no, I’m so sorry, I worded that wrong! I mean, I was wondering about your nationality.”

Well, at least she fixed it and didn’t say, “Okay, but where are you really from?” I can appreciate that.

“Vietnamese.” I smiled.

“That’s cool.”

Then the bell rang.

And I felt a bit happier since I had some sort of social interaction today.

Just like that, the second day of school ended, and I was waiting for Aiden to pick me up. When his small black car came up, I got in and sat down.

“So, how was school?” he asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Normally. Better, actually, I actually talked to someone today.”

He chuckled, “Proud of you, sis.”

We sat in silence for a bit, with music being the only thing playing in the background.

Once we got home, it was the normal thing. Closed door, power button pressed, click on chrome, go to myfanfics.com and I went to read the new comments.

New blog comments!

I smiled as I clicked on the brightly colored link. Fifteen new blog comments since lunch. It was mainly about how excited people were to read my next chapter, even if they had to wait five days just to see it.

I then clicked on New Story Comments! And there were ten more comments since lunch. I beamed as I read each one, replying to the longer comments. As much as I love my readers, I do get a bit frustrated with the, “Can’t wait for your next update!” comments, because it means that I can’t really reply to them. Mainly because, well…How do you reply to those comments?

But regardless, I really do enjoy replying to my comments, because I was a fangirl to other self-made people before, and I know how it feels when you get a reply back from one that you look up to. When I got a reply from Michelle Phan on Youtube, I internally screamed. Externally, I was flailing and I was jumping and I was just being so extremely excited about it.

Sure, all she replied to me was, “It’ll get better! We’re in this together :)” when I told her about my me not having a lot/any friends and that being creative was the only thing that’s gotten me to where I am without me breaking down a lot, but it meant to much to me. It’s like, she took time out of her entire day to reply to a middle schooler (at that time) like me. Because it was because of her reply, even though it sounds so stupid, I felt like I could do anything, and that the world is small, and I could conquer it. It just felt so nice to exist to her, someone that I look up to so much, unlike at school where I felt like I didn’t exist. And if I did, then I was just something stupid that existed.

But just to think, “What if the Super Junior members replied to me on twitter?” how I would react? I would probably be unconscious for days. And knowing me, when I would regain consciousness, I wouldn’t believe that it had happened. Why? Because I put the people that I look up to so much on a higher pedestal than me. It’s like, they’re gods or something, and I am nothing but a mere mortal.

Also, I had high hopes that maybe, just maybe they would reply to me one day…After all, they’re the reason why I even have a twitter account.

I clicked on my fanfiction  title, “A Little Bit Off”. Which is the sequel for my
“Always a Bit Off” series, a romantic comedy. But to be more frank, it’s more of a comedy than a romance. It’s based off of a drama that I watched, and I hated the fact that the girl ended up with the d-bag and not the guy that’s helped her out through everything, and was kind to her in every single way possible. I’m not saying that every girl should end up with the guy that treats her as an actual person, but at least fall in love with someone that actually treat you like a person and not like a piece of trash at the beginning!

This was the second, and final book of the series. Although my readers were kind of begging me for more, I just told them that I couldn’t write another series after this. Even with the third one, I felt like I was already dragging on the story for way too long—which is why the romance is taking longer than I would like. Even now, I don’t even know how to make the two characters together because they’re so close to each other, it hurts. It’s one of those relationships where, when you’re too close to someone, and you find yourself liking them, how the heck are you going to tell them without ruining the friendship?

So, currently, I was at a road block.

“Jane!”

I looked up, and my brother had opened the door—crap, I forgot to lock it.

“Seriously, could you please knock?”

He blinked for a second, closed the door, knocked and then opened it again, “Wanna go to the book store?”

I got up—a little bit too fast, “Is that even a question?” I ask, grabbing my bag.

~~~~’

We got to Barnes and Nobel, and I headed straight to the Young Adult section. I don’t know why I always go to this section, mainly because for the most part, I feel like the Young Adult section is written by adults who’ve forgotten what it’s like to be young, so they mainly depend on stereotypes of teenagers. And what’s even more infuriating is when in the description, it’s describing the story of a girl who has anxiety and whose life is going to change—in which, it then adds that there’s a main male character.

It’s like, “Gee, I wonder how this story is going to end”.

Maybe I’m different from the teenage spectrum, if these are based off of actual girls, but I don’t want a guy to come save me.

Shocker, isn’t it?

And that’s the reason why I believe that my fanfiction was so popular. People, who are also similar to me, who are extremely awkward and have really bad anxiety who are also tired of authors like these who write about the main character where her main goal is to just fall in love. What about family? What about friendship? What about the things that are also important that aren’t just about love?

Sure, my writing isn’t the best, but dear lord, at least I don’t dumb down my writing unlike what these adult authors do. Because here’s the thing: Just because I’m 15, does not mean I’m an idiot.

There have been points in my life where I’ve wanted to yell at a twenty-something year old for writing a review on a book, where they said that a character was “too mature” for her age. Maybe it’s just me, but maybe not all teenagers are the same, and some of us want actual conversations about life because we know that in the end, we’re all going to grow old so why not start talking about it now? Why not think about our inevitable deaths?

Maybe it’s part of being the bullied. You tend to mature faster because you find ways to try to ignore your bully, and for me, that was reading and watching kpop videos on Youtube.

Oh dear, I’m rambling again.

I continued looking at the Young Adult section. I really don’t understand why I still have such high hopes for this section. It’s like, you find one good book in this section, and then you’re hooked, and you don’t know why. But, eventually, like always, I gave up looking though this section—mainly because most of the stories are about falling in love—or something about summer vacations in California.

So instead, I headed to the Manga section.

It was normally empty, but this time, there was a short girl with black hair looking through the book section. She was wearing my school’s uniform, so it was obvious that we both went to the same school. Now my only problem is, what do I do? Maybe it’s me, but I have no idea how to interact with people I hardly know.

“…Hi.” I say.

“Hi.” She replied, and kept on looking back at the manga section.

Okay, now what do I do? Do I continue on with the conversation?

But I barely know her!

Do I just try to start a conversation? "Heyyy, so I notice that we go to the same school" Like no duh, it's in the uniform dip shnitzel!

So, I just awkwardly looked at the books and got another book from a series that I’ve been reading before Aiden texted me (thank god)  asking me if I was ready. I just left without saying anything.

 So, if I’m budgeting right, this manga costs around $10, so in my wallet, I still have around $20…And on my birthday, I’ll probably get an extra hundred from relatives who aren’t really into buying gifts. So then I’ll get Super Junior’s version B and C album by January of next year—unless I somehow get an extra 20 from dad. Or, I could always catch Aiden sneaking out again, which would save me so much grief.

_______________________

A/N I realize that "This is Love" was released in October, but when I publish it, it isn't going to be Super Junior (for copyright reasons) so...I , I know ;__;

Also, thank you so much for subing to this story! :) It means so much! Thank you for not forgetting me just yet! :D (Unless you're new, if you're new to my fanfiction writing, just comment, "I'm new!" in the comments down below!) 

Next chapter, I promise I'll be introducing new characters! (I just realized that it might be a bit boring right now, but don't worry! Things will happen!!)

Again, I just want to reiderate, thank you so much for so of you who have stuck besides me! I couldn't help but want to reward you guys with a second update after seeing that! :)