goddamnit, i'm just going to switch back to the ole' first person view in this one.

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"Hello? Zhang Jinghua here," I answered my phone while walking down the street to the SM building.

"Hello, this is Kim Youngmin of SM," the reciever greeted me with a harsh tone. "Would you mind dropping by my office when you come? Ask the front desk manager when you come in."

"Alright, see you soon," Jinghua responded and hung up. Feeling a bit thrilled, she sped up her pace.

After she entered the SM building, she went to the front desk manager and before she could ask anything, the manager said,

"Oh, you must be Zhang Jinghua! Right over here," she led me down the hall. We stopped at a door labeled "Kim Youngmin, CEO" and she rapped her knuckles on the door.

"Hello Jinghua, please come in," Lee Soo Man opened the door, smiling. Kim Youngmin was at his desk, not looking particularly excited. She went in, bowing to both of them.

After an hour or so of negotiation and just in plain shock, Jinghua stumbled out the room, unsure of what just happened.

Kim Youngmin said this week would be her final week of training and that she was to have a stage name but they haven't decided on that bit yet.

--------------------------------------and let's get back to 1st person view.

 There was one final thing that really bugged me and during training, I couldn't stop thinking about it. The instructors didn't notice but Leah certainly did.

"Thinking about Junmyeon? Ooh!" She sneered and her group of friends cackled evilly...

I turned to look at her and I beamed, for the first time since forever. " 

She furrowed her brows. "Huh?" But before she could continue, we were dismissed 

At lunch, I normally sat by myself (along with Kris) and today was no different, except Yixing and Junmyeon joined us as well. 

I ran my fork through my pasta, not eating a bite out of it. The boys were talking loudly so I think they didn't notice me.

I think. Emphasis on that. In truth, Junmyeon was the one who turned the conversation's attention to me. 

"Jinghua, what's up? You seem down today," he interrupted Yixing's rambling about meditation. "You're not eating your lunch and that looks good."

"Well, I'm usually not accustomated to all of you here," I explaiend patiently. "Especially you," Kris added, staring at Junmyeon.

When was he on my side? I was a bit confused but didn't talk about it.

"But seriously, what's up? There's something in your mind, I can tell," Kris asked.

I sighed and set down my fork. "Why do you want to know?"

"Because... I want to?" He put his hands up, exasperated. "Come on, why can't you tell us?"

"There's... PEOPLE here, and it wouldn't matter, you can't do anything about it."

"Oh, darn it!" Junmyeon exclaimed, slapping his hand on the table. He held up his phone.

"They're calling off the band," he grimaced. "I don't know why."

Kris and Yixing immediately recieved the same message as well. "Ugh... This isn't good."

"Gosh... I'm sorry guys,"  I tried to sound as sympathetic as possible. "Like, gee, you guys really did have a chance."

"You think that?" A slow smile replaced Junmyeon's frown. 

Lunch was over and I rushed out of the cafeteria before I had to answer.

------------ehhh time skip.

The training period seemed like forever but we were finally finished. I hurried to get out of the room, muttering "excuse me," "pardon," shoving through the mobs of people standing there. I spedwalked to the elevator to find Kris and Yixing standing there, laughing. 

Wonderful.

I stood behind them, trying not to make any eye contact with them if they turned around. Glancing at the billboard, one of the posters caught my eye: the Lorre Tour. It was an original name, I suppose...

The poster mentioned the time (december 5th, 8:00 PM) and where. There was a large crowd surrounding the poster, many of the girls were squealing over it and excitedly taking pictures...? On the inside, I wanted to laugh since, well, Chessa's standing right behind you. AKA me.

"Jinghua, are you coming in or not?" Kris broke my thoughts and I saw him standing in the elevator, holding his hands out to stop it from moving. "Sorry," I muttered, rushing in. Kris pressed the first floor button and we descended in silence.

When the elevator doors opened with a ding, I was the first to rush out and I ran out of the main doors, hoping nobody would catch up. As I ran through the dark night illuminated by the streetlights, I heard running footsteps behind me. I didn't dare to cast a glance behind me until I reached my bus stop.

I was 5 feet away until someone shouted "Wait up!" behind me. I stopped running and turned around to see Kris sprinting towards me, holding out his hand like they do in those dramas. 

Only difference it was almost pitch black and was it raining? I could feel the rain 

"Jinghua, please, answer my question," he caught up to me and panted. "What's... happening?" He had an umbrella in his hand.

"Like I said yesterday, I'm becoming a solo artist," I huffed, tired of his antics to learn what he wanted to learn.

"But why... are you so... down?" He took some moments to catch his breath.

"What do you mean? I'm usually like this," I retorted. I started to walk towards the bus stop but his hand grabbed my shoulder so I couldn't move.

"Wait, please. Was there... anything else that they told you?" Kris asked, not letting my shoulder go as I tried to yank off his hand.

My muscles tensed up at that. I waited a moment to process my thoughts.

"You never came back," I finally said, choking on those words. Tears were threatening to spill but I wiped it off. Stop being so sensitive, I thought. 

"I never did," he admitted. I turned around to see him far away, some point fixed in the stars. 

"He became different," I choked down another sob. "Emotionally different. Because of... what happened."

"He... did?" Kris looked shocked. "So that's why...oh."

"What do you mean, oh?" I demanded, wanting to know. "And is he like, your friend?"

"Jinghua, really? You really don't know?" His eyes were on the verge of breaking out and his mouth hung agape. 

"No... I don't remember gege's name," I said, arching an eyebrow at his expression. "Look, my bus is going to come any minute now and I can't miss it," I turned to make another run towards the bus stop. This time, he didn't stop me but said, "I'm sorry!"

I turned around one last time to look at his face. A tear had rolled down his cheek as he stood there, looking at me.

"It doesn't matter anymore, Kris. Because you won't be seeing me anymore." 

"What do you mean? Please, tell me!" He was literally begging, his eyes pleading for any answer.

"You never told me, Kris." I ran to the bus stop just in time to catch the bus.

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a/n: i owe you guys some chapters. by 'some,' i meant 'a lot.'