Hakyeon wasn’t sure what to think or to feel. Despite having known Taekwoon since the two were pretty young he had never met Taekwoon's family. He had only known that Taekwoon and his brother were extremely close, so when his brother fell into a coma it hid Taekwoon hard, especially since Taekwoon had assumed it was his fault, despite how much Hakyeon tried to convince him otherwise.  Both of them had always held hope that by some miracle the boy would recover, so this was a hard hitting and unexpected development for the both of them.

“Give me a minute,” Hakyeon said, his voice shaky from all the crying he had done in the past few minutes.

He left the room and dialled Jaehwan’s number. “Hello?” Jaehwan’s voice sounded frantic, he was probably completely worried for Taekwoon.

“Jaehwan. It’s bad. I don’t think Taekwoon can come today. I’ll explain later okay? You can go home for today,” Hakyeon said, trying his best to stay composed. Without waiting for a response he hung up the phone and went back into the room, again resuming to hug Taekwoon.

“Just let it all out Taekwoon, but you have to remember it’s not your fault,” Hakyeon said, trying to soothe his precious friend.

Taekwoon just violently shook his head. Ever since he had spoken those 2 sentences to Hakyeon he stopped talking again and refused all of Hakyeon’s attempt to make him communicate. He was building a wall around his feelings, the same as he did 8 years ago, only this time it was much worse. At this rate it seemed like Taekwoon would refuse any contact with people, maybe even with Hakyeon as well, something his friend was very worried for.

At this rate he couldn't leave the boy alone at all, for fear of what he would do to himself. There were too many options. Hakyeon sighed. He would definitely have to move in here and stay with Taekwoon, but he wouldn’t be able to get his stuff himself. Maybe Wonshik would be willing to help him.

As Hakyeon was contemplating these things he heard the doorbell ring. Confused, Hakyeon left and opened the door. Much to his surprise Jaehwan was standing there. “I’m sorry I was worried so I came over. Is Taekwoon okay?” he asked, his voice uneven and panting.

Hakyeon wiped away the tears on his face and spoke, “Come in. I’ll see if Taekwoon is up to have you visit but don’t be disappointed if he says no, okay?”

Jaehwan nodded and tentatively stepped inside. He followed Hakyeon as they went towards Taekwoon’s room. As Hakyeon opened the door Jaehwan was confused and worried. Taekwoon was sitting on the floor, his head resting on his knees. He looked absolutely broken. Sure they had only been dating for one day but the sight hurt Jaehwan so much.

“Taekwoon, Jaehwan came to see you. Do you want to see him?” Hakyeon asked as he touched his friend’s shoulder.

At the mention of his boyfriend’s name Taekwoon looked up and locked eyes with Jaehwan. The sight hurt Jaehwan even more. Taekwoon’s face was red, his eyes swollen and seemed soulless and hurt. Surprisingly though Taekwoon reached his arms out towards Jaehwan.

Without thinking Jaehwan headed towards the older male and hugged him. He had no idea what was going on but he drew Taekwoon close, allowing him to cry on his shoulder. The whole time he continually repeated the words, “It’s okay.”

After an hour of continuous crying Taekwoon had exhausted himself and fell asleep. Jaehwan moved him to the bed and covered him with blankets. He made sure to still hold onto the elder’s hand though for fear of him disappearing if he let go.

“What happened?” Jaehwan asked Hakyeon, who had been standing in the room the whole time. While not as bad as Taekwoon, his face too, was tear streaked and he looked hurt.

“I don’t think it’s my place to tell you. It’s something only Taekwoon can tell you. When he wakes up please ask him,” Hakyeon said before leaving the room and heading towards the bathroom.

Jaehwan sighed, but understood Hakyeon’s opinion. In fact he was almost relieved Hakyeon hadn’t told him. It was something he wanted Taekwoon to tell him about himself. “When you wake up, please tell me everything, okay? I promise I’ll stay by your side. Just trust me, okay?” he whispered to the sleeping Taekwoon, hoping his words reached him somehow.

Then he looked at Taekwoon’s face and noticed that his eyes were open. “Did you hear?” Nod. “Will you tell me?” Another nod.

Slowly Taekwoon sat up on the bed and moved to his desk, grabbing a notebook and a pen. He didn’t want to tell anyone but he felt he had to.

He slowly began to write, but it wasn’t what Jaehwan expected it to be. “After I tell you, you have to promise to not leave me, okay? I can’t stand losing someone else now,” the note read.

Jaehwan nodded, “Of course. I promise regardless of what you tell me I won’t leave you.”

Taekwoon nodded and wrote another quick note that he handed to Jaehwan, but he was still writing feverishly.

“It started one day 8 years ago”

Taekwoon sighed as he left his school. It was another pointless day. He found no reason why he had to go to school. Wasn’t high school supposed to be better? All it had amounted to so far was a waste of time. None of his classmates would talk to him and even his teachers ignored what he was saying most of the time. It was like he was an invisible person no one could hear regardless of how loud he spoke. Even his parents were the same way. The only one who really listened to him was his younger brother, Hyuk, and his one friend, Hakyeon, who unfortunately went to a different school.

As he was thinking these depressing thoughts he glanced across the street and coincidentally saw his brother there. “Hyuk!” Taekwoon yelled out, wondering if the boy would hear him.

Much to his delight the young boy did and waved happily at his brother, “Taekwoon! Wait a minute I’ll come over there!”

“Sure! Come on!” Taekwoon yelled, happy that finally someone had listened to him and heard him. What happened next though he couldn’t predict. It all seemed to happen in slow motion.

His younger brother started to run across the street, but at that moment a car came speeding down the street as well. Before Taekwoon had a chance to warn his brother it was too late, the car had already done its damage and was speeding off, leaving a bleeding and injured Hyuk in the middle of the road.

Taekwoon watched in horror and ran over to his brother. “Help! Someone help!” he kept calling out, but people walked by in disinterest. No one paid attention to the poor dying boy.

It took 30 minutes of Taekwoon yelling and crying, his voice now completely hoarse, before an ambulance arrived on the scene, supposedly called by one of the people who had seemed to not care.

Inside the ambulance Taekwoon stayed with his brother the whole time, hoping, praying everything would turn out okay.

Unfortunately things don’t always turn out the way you want them to and Hyuk ended up in a coma, his chance of survival devastatingly low.

Since that day Taekwoon refused to speak. He felt responsible for the whole accident. If only he hadn’t called out to Hyuk that day, then he wouldn’t have crossed the street and he wouldn’t have been hit. Plus if only he had more presence and people could hear him better then it wouldn’t have taken so long for Hyuk to be rescued and this whole thing wouldn’t have been as severe.

It was all his fault. If only he didn’t use his voice. There wasn’t anyone to hear it now anyway. What was the point of using it? So the once already quiet boy just stopped speaking, something no one around him noticed but Hakyeon. He accepted it though and figured soon enough his friend would speak again, that it was just the shock of the accident preventing him from doing it, but that hasn’t happened. 8 years and nothing.

Since that day Taekwoon hadn’t been able to be around his parents. They refused to speak to him as they deemed him solely responsible for what happened. Taekwoon couldn’t even say anything about it since he felt the same deep in his heart as well. So he moved out of his parent’s house and has lived on his own since, hoping that one day his brother will recover.

“But he didn’t. He passed away today.” Taekwoon concluded the story that way. He handed the last note with the message of his brother’s passing over to Jaehwan who burst into tears.

“That’s horrible, but it isn’t your fault. How could you think it was? Accidents happen all the time. It wasn’t your fault. All you did was call out to him. It’s the driver’s fault. He could have slowed down and stopped. In no way was this your fault Taekwoon,” Jaehwan said as he pulled his boyfriend into a hug.

Taekwoon looked at his boyfriend in surprise. Before the only person he had heard that from was Hakyeon. Everyone else had blamed it solely on Taekwoon, even the police and doctors. Hearing it from Jaehwan’s mouth made more tears fall from Taekwoon’s eyes.

Jaehwan was surprised but kept hugging him. “It’s really not your fault Taekwoon. I’m sure your brother thinks the same. If he was here I’m sure he would tell you the same thing. He wouldn’t want you to be in here blaming yourself and doing nothing with your life. He would want you to live your life and accomplish your dreams. The opinions of strangers don’t matter. Think of how your brother would have thought about this situation,” he continued. He wasn’t sure if his words were even reaching Taekwoon but he wanted to say anything that would make the male feel better about this situation.

The tears just kept flowing out of Taekwoon’s eyes and this time Jaehwan wasn’t sure what else to say, so he just kept hugging Taekwoon.

After another 30 minutes or so Taekwoon leaned in close to Jaehwan. “Thank you,” he managed to whisper, his voice hoarse from all the crying, but the most beautiful thing Jaehwan had ever heard. Instinctively Jaehwan kissed him, hoping to calm his emotions. Taekwoon blushed and hugged Jaehwan, not wanting to let him go. Almost immediately after doing so Taekwoon fell asleep, exhausted from everything that happened that day.

Once again Jaehwan placed him in bed. He then grabbed the pieces of paper Taekwoon had used to write his story on and he crumpled them up, intending to burn them later. It was pieces of Taekwoon’s past that he no longer needed to remember. Sure he should remember the death of his brother, but he didn’t have to remember the twisted version of his past that made Taekwoon out to be a murderer.

It angered Jaehwan. How could people think those stupid things? It was definitely the driver’s fault, in no way was Taekwoon at fault here.

As he exited the room he saw Hakyeon sitting anxiously on the sofa. “How is he?” he asked, his voice better than before but still shaky.

“He should be okay. He told me everything that happened,” Jaehwan said, “He’s sleeping now. Let’s let him rest and see how he feels in the morning.”

Hakyeon nodded in agreement. “I’m glad he met you. All along it’s only been me by his side. It’s nice to have someone else here now. I’m sure it makes Taekwoon feel better too. Thank you for staying with Taekwoon. From now on I shall ask you to help me take care of him,” he said, tears threatening to fall down his face once again.

“It’s nothing. I love him even more now. I don’t want anything else to hurt him from now on,” Jaehwan said, a slight smile on his lips.

“I understand. I think the same way. We should sleep too. We have to be well rested and healthy for Taekwoon tomorrow,” Hakyeon said as he stood up.

Jaehwan nodded and followed Hakyeon into Taekwoon’s room where they laid pillows and blankets down to sleep. Neither of them wanted to leave Taekwoon alone once again.

[A/N] There you have it. Finally Taekwoon’s past is revealed. I’m sorry if it’s not as dramatic as some of you thought it would be. Getting to this part in the story took a lot longer than I thought it would. Sorry. Haha. Anyway once again thanks for reading this. Also note the past portion is told in flashback format instead of actual notes Taekwoon would have written.

Also side note here that I've been meaning to mention since around the time I posted the third chapter I've actually had all the chapters for this finished and written. Would you guys prefer I keep them coming out once or twice a day or just post them all at once?