Hey guys~~

First of all, breathe. This is the end yes but if you read this note and get to the end of the text, YOU WOULD KNOW.

For now, I wanted to point out the references to Empty [Chapter 1: “After all, who will read an empty music sheet? (Everyone.)”] and when Jihnwan was drunk at 3AM, Hanbin brought him home and he slept in June’s and Hanbin’s room (and Hanbin watched him sleep—I’M SAYING I PUT EVERYTHING BACK TO THEIR PLACES OK THEY WERE ROOMIES IN WIN ERA <33).

I must have gone overboard with the use of parentheses () man I just feel that parentheses are things you’d never say aloud and it’s ugly at times but maybe that’s why it works for me. Lol this fic is all emptiness+depression+Jinhwan+Hanbin+parentheses+repeated phrases.

So the thing that I love about this fic the most, is probably the characters. They’re both depressed pieces of and they didn’t know that until the latter part of the fic because Jinhwan has troubles opening up. They actually have a lot of things in common—Hanbin is struggling even when he’s chasing his dreams and Jinhwan doesn’t have dreams to chase (until recently). Combine Hanbin and Jinhwan together and you’ll have ME as a result so yea I really value the characters. I feel I was very well represented lmao.

They found difficulty in realizing their feelings for each other, because you know, when your personal burdens are a mountain high, that’s all you really think about.

Jinhwan was Hanbin’s source of strength when he found it the most difficult, so Jinhwan is not only a lover or a friend, he’s an extension of Hanbin’s person and I think that’s what made Hanbin wait for him, not to mention that he asked him to wait for him.

Jinhwan knew what was coming though. He knew he would leave to chase rainbows (his dreams) when he came back to Hanbin drunk. He knew it all then, he finally found himself and he wanted to stay too but if he did, Hanbin would be the only one chasing rainbows and he (Jinhwan) would feel worthless, which is the main reason why he was always there for Hanbin. He wanted to be like Hanbin, feel the thrill in his veins like Hanbin does and YES Hanbin is a big piece to the puzzle that allowed Jinhwan to find himself. (This is the reason why he left, for all those who are asking. It was all over the fic :D)

As you all saw (or read) Jinhwan is a very private person and is reluctant to share things about himself so when he came back to Hanbin at the backstage, it was to say goodbye. It’s sad that that’s basically the end of Hanbin’s waiting. Jinhwan thought it through. It’s impossible to study abroad and meet Hanbin at the same time wherein Hanbin is a famous celebrity. It just won’t work. Jinhwan wants to live quietly (hence the penname) and Hanbin’s life is all glitz and glam. (And this is the reason why he won’t stay)

Anyway, the end of this fic isn’t the end of their love story. Like Jinhwan said in the dedication of this book: in an alternate universe… (and yea his book is about their story ok and how much he loves Hanbin and how he’s so sorry he can’t stay and basically this fic in Jinhwan’s POV and Hanbin has the only copy of Chasing Rainbows in the world and he probably won’t forget Jinhwan because he’s hung over the book and yea they’d probably meet again one day where it would all work out for them and yea yea yea I’M NOT CRYING).

JK but yea it was supposed to end there but like, I can’t lol I’m so sorry I am a mess. I wrote this a/n before the last chapter so yea… Anyway, what happens after the break is idk. I thought I ended this fic already with the last chapter but I had a change of heart.

To say that Hanbin feels alive in the moment will be an understatement. He doesn’t just feel that. He feels alive, not because of music this time, but because of someone—someone whose whereabouts he doesn’t know—and truthfully, it kills part of him too. His mind is poison because he wonders what if he isn’t anywhere to be found and what if he won’t stay what if he won’t agree—what if?

Hanbin’s heartbeat is on overdrive, because he’s running away like he did all those years ago, except he’s actually needed somewhere in this very moment. He should be on the stage, performing, but he’s on his feet, running and running like his life is on the line, and maybe it is.

At the back of his mind, he can imagine how the staff will react once they realize that he won’t be coming back for the second set of performances. They will be disappointed for sure—all of them, including his brothers, his family, his fans and the CEO.

From the backseat of a taxi he hailed, Hanbin is watching the static headlights of the traffic. He’s fidgety and restless, and his phone is ringing in his pocket which makes him all the more nervous. He wishes that the traffic will soon pass and that he’ll reach Jinhwan on time though he doesn’t know where he is. Hanbin isn’t sure where he’s going but he’s hoping he’ll find him there.

The driver looks at him through the rearview mirror, eyes worried because he can sense Hanbin’s nerves and the latter decides to reject the call seeing as it’s only the staff.

They won’t understand.

His phone rings again and this time it’s Bobby so he picks up.

“Hanbin, we have three minutes until the second set. Where are you?” Bobby sounds urgent on the other end of the line.

“Hyung, I won’t be back. I’m sorry.”

“Can you at least tell me why?”

Hanbin pauses, because what better way to word this? “Jinhwan—he said goodbye.”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“Hyung, you do understand, right?”

Hanbin hears Bobby draw out a heavy