They don’t know what they are, really. Just that, they meet regularly and Hanbin goes back to the training center with a new handkerchief every other time, not because he’s cried again but because they have gotten used to it. He also brings with him a smile that doesn’t go away too soon (and perhaps Jinhwan’s heart, too.)

One afternoon in March, Hanbin receives a text message from Jinhwan asking him if he has eaten his lunch yet. It isn’t new as Jinhwan always makes it a point to check up on Hanbin’s wellbeing at least once a day. He’s constantly asking if Hanbin has got enough sleep, and if he’s eating his meals on time.

Hanbin’s response isn’t new either: [No, you?]

Before he even gets to put his phone down, he receives another message. [Go to the nearest convenience store and eat something. NOW.]

[Yes sir :)]

The sun is high up when Hanbin steps out to the store. He finds Jinhwan outside, sitting at a table for two and immediately his face lights up.

“What is this?”

“A surprise?” Jinhwan half-asks, pushing the cup ramen to Hanbin’s direction, and the latter takes his seat.

Hanbin begins to eat and notices Jinhwan staring at him, face propped on his hands. There’s heat up his cheeks that he knows isn’t from the sun. He raises a questioning brow and Jinhwan shakes his head in response and gives him a smile.

“I’m trying to eat here.”

“Then go eat.”

“You’re staring at me,” Hanbin says, eyes fixated on the person in front of him.

“You’re staring at me, too! On second thought, just pretend I’m not here and eat,” Jinhwan replies, picks up his drink and faces another direction.

“Hyung, are you free today?” Hanbin asks him minutes later, once he’s done eating.

“I am, why?”

“Do you want to come up?” Hanbin motions towards the direction of the building.

“Sure.”

Hanbin thinks it’s a pity that the weather is good but they have to stay in since he has songs to write and inspiration is running high. He thinks back to the times it was overcast and they huddled close for warmth and drank coffee, when it drizzled and he slept on Jinhwan’s shoulder under one umbrella.

A smile unconsciously curls up his mouth and Jinhwan asks why.

“The good weather’s a waste, don’t you think?”

“No,” he gives him the answer once they start walking.

“Why not?”

“Don’t ask.”

Because I’m with you.

“Are you sure about this?” Jinhwan asks as he rakes his eyes over the practice room, thinking it’s exactly like he saw it in the show, except it’s in right in front of him and tangibly real.

“The boys won’t mind, and if others ask, I’d tell them you’re a cousin or something. It’s not the first time someone paid a visit, you know,” Hanbin says, and opens the door to the small room, “come.”

Jinhwan walks himself into the almost cramped room and takes one of the two seats in front of the computer set, the other taken by Hanbin. The latter hands him a pair of headphones which he wears, and starts selecting his compositions to play. The first song is and Jinhwan lets the headphones sit on his neck upon the first notes. It takes Hanbin by surprise and has him gaping at the elder.

“Can you skip to the next song?” Jinhwan says, hands around the device on his neck.

“Wha—It— is one of my bests.”

“I’ve only listened to it once and you’re not about to make me listen to it a second time.”

“Can you tell me why?”

“No.” Hanbin sighs and plays the next song as requested, then flips open his notebook on the page where he left off.

“That song made me cry.”

Hanbin nods, and attempts to write but finds that he can’t. He can only draw circles on the paper and he wonders why he feels uncomfortable in Jinhwan’s presence. He rests his back on the seat and sees Jinhwan burning holes into the wall, fingers drumming on the wooden desk according to the beat. Jinhwan closes his eyes and Hanbin wants so much to preserve this image. He wonders what Jinhwan’s seeing in the moment. Are there fireworks underneath his lids or is it only darkness? Is he thinking of Hanbin like Hanbin is thinking of him?

It dawns on him at the same time Jinhwan opens his eyes, why he feels the way he does, why he feels so comfortable around Jinhwan and unsettling at the same time. It’s simple, really, and he wonders why he hasn’t realized it sooner.

“I like you.”

Jinhwan flicks his eyes to Hanbin, and wears off the headphones. “I like this song. What’s the title?” Jinhwan waits for the answer while Hanbin stares at him with this smile on his face, this look in his eyes like time has just stopped.

“I like you.”

Jinhwan tilts his head to the side, “It…seems unrelated to the lyrics.”

Hanbin lets out a laugh, “No, I mean it. I like you.”

Jinhwan gasps and shakes his head, “You don’t mean that.”

Hanbin pulls Jinhwan’s chair closer to his, and holds his hand. “I don’t lie, not to you, especially not to you.”

Jinhwan takes back his hand as though scorched from the touch, a bit harsher than he means to, “No! Don’t say that! Don’t say you like me when you don’t know the first thing about me.”

The words leave Hanbin speechless for he can’t argue. He looks almost dejected for a moment but his hand claims Jinhwan’s again, but with a tighter grip this time.

“Let me know you, then,” he dares the elder.

“I’m beat,” Hanbin drawls, head on a table in the corner of the coffee shop they frequent. The window is opposite him where Jinhwan is seated and the latter can’t people watch so he watches Hanbin instead. That’s more fun, anyway.

“That’s the price you have to pay,” Jinhwan thinks aloud. “Weren’t you hungry for a stage?” he asks, taking a sip of his latte not long after.

“I wanted someone who would listen.”

“And? You’d have thousands.”

Hanbin sits up straight, “I have you.”

You don’t.

Avoiding Hanbin’s stare, Jinhwan looks away and takes another sip, “A star doesn’t live life fully if it shines for only one.”

There’s a flicker in Jinhwan’s eyes and a smile lights up his face. “Do you maybe wanna go somewhere?”

Hanbin doesn’t have the heart to deny him.

The library they’re in is one hidden from the world, situated in one of the unknown streets in Seoul. It’s also small, and the only couch in the house is free. For some reason, it reminds Hanbin so much of Jinhwan.

“Why here?” Hanbin asks after Jinhwan who is busy running