Hayoung felt into silence as she hung her head down. On the other hand, Kris could felt that his heart drummed against his ribcage, still anticipating what her reaction would be. This was also not that he expected. The talking Hayoung was so much better than the silence Hayoung. He couldn’t read her eyes, also he didn’t know what was going on her mind right now. He bit his lower lip nervously as he waited for her to speak. But even after he waited, Hayoung didn’t speak as he wished. He was elated, of course, when he heard finally she spoke his name in front of him. She finally recognized him and that was he always wanted for this past few weeks. In the middle of his confusion, Hayoung finally looked up. His heart jumped in surprise when she made an eye contact with him. However, he couldn’t read her expression. There was no sign of surprise there, just like when she said his name. Her face was surprisingly flat. No anger. No delight.

“I told you this isn’t a good time to speak.” She finally spoke and Kris could finally breathe in relief when he heard her voice. “Good night, Kris.” She turned around and went inside the house.

He heard the door click shut. He felt hollow inside. He wanted to run after her and asked her to stay, but he kept his mouth shut and his body still.

It felt like something just stabbed on his chest when he heard that Hayoung still address him as Kris, not Wu Yi Fan. Instead of feeling relief like he wanted, he felt anxious. After seeing her reaction, he had no idea how to face her tomorrow. Nonetheless he also cannot figure whether Hayoung was angry or disappointed at him. With heavy steps, he left her house and went to his own.

Hayoung stood there, unmoved, leaning against the door that she just closed. She parted the curtains to look out her window and saw Kris had turned around and walked toward his house. She didn’t expect that Kris would be the same person as her childhood friend, Yi Fan. Maybe deep down there, she already recognized who he was when the first time they met. She should’ve known it when she bumped into him for the first time. They met in front of their houses. That should be the biggest fact of all that her childhood friend was finally here. The people around her always told her that she was oblivious. Way too oblivious for her own good but she didn’t believe that she could be so dense toward this matter.

Today was beyond her expectation. She thought, after visiting her father’s grave and sent her mom off at the airport, she could finally had her alone time. She had planned to be alone at home, eating some unhealthy foods and spending her whole night in front of television. That was she always did every time of the year to averted her attention for crying. She had always missed her father and somehow, she always couldn’t suppress her feelings when it comes to the death anniversary. But this year, it was different. Yi Fan has finally returned. She was shock, surprise, and most of all she didn’t believe that he eventually had returned. After past one more decade, she didn’t get any news from him, honestly she eventually gave up. She had thought that he already forgotten what was his life in Korea and moved on. Seriously, who will be patient to wait for more than one decade without any single news? Canada was too far and she never imagined how the life’s there. Even her mom never mentioned anything about Wu family after a year from their departure.

Her head felt really heavy.

“Unbelievable..” she massaged her forehead, closing her eyes, sighing.

-----

 “You’re not going to college?”

Hayoung shook her head as she heard her mom speaking on the other side. Realized that her mother cannot see her, she mumbled a soft ‘No’.

“Why? Go outside and play.”

She played her finger with the petal yellow flowers on the table. It was his father’s favorite. She always put a bucket of the same flowers she brought to the graveyard on the living room, just to saw how long it would last. Random, but it made her think that her father and her had the same thing for the time being.

“I suddenly felt no energy.” She glanced at the clock. It showed 12 PM in the afternoon. “Maybe I will go to college if I am in the mood, later on.” She added.

“Don’t get on your senior’s bad side.” Her mother chuckled. She knew that her daughter had just entered the club being a manager and it made her happy to see her so busy with her college life. It made Hayoung smiled when she heard that.

“Mom.” She called.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“You did know that Yi Fan has returned, right?” she stopped playing with the petals as it falls down on the table.

Her mother silenced for a moment but answered with all much honesty, “Of course.”

“Why you didn’t tell me?” she asked again with heavy sigh. “You made me like a fool in front of him.”

She could felt that her mother was smiling from the other line, even though she couldn’t see it. “Honey, don’t get mad at him just because he didn’t tell you right away.”

She sighed, “No, Mom. I am not angry with him.”

“So why do you sound so disappoint?”

The scenario of the last night event just flashed on her head. Her heart ached when she remembered their conversation they had at the back of the gym building. She clearly remembered that she told him that she knew Luhan as Yi Fan’s acquaintances, not Kris. No wonder he had ignore her after that. He was hurt and she was too oblivious to knew it.

“I feel like I am so stupid right now. I cannot believe that I am that oblivious.” She whispered.

Her mother softened. How she wished that she could hold and hug her daughter right at this moment.

“The fact that you are oblivious doesn’t make you stupid, Hayoung-ah.”

“Then what does it makes me?” she closed her eyes, cupping her face with her hand.

“You are being you. You cannot blame yourself for being so oblivious. Besides, Yi Fan also changed a lot right? I also cannot blame you that you cannot recognize him right away. Even your mom wouldn’t recognize him if I didn’t meet his mother first. He is so different than the last time you saw him. He is becoming such a handsome man, right?” she tried to crack a joke, chuckling and it made Hayoung also tugged her corner lips upwards as she heard that.  “Yi Fan also knew that you are like this, so he decided to wait for you until you remember. That was why I didn’t tell you that it was Yi Fan who brought you home when you were drunk. I assumed that kid wanted to know how long he could hold his longing for you. But I guess he couldn’t do it any longer than this.” She laughed.

“Oh, come on, Mom~” she whined softly, but her smile grew even bigger. It was like her mother knew her condition, she only daughter.

“There, you smile.” she said, “I can say that I am right. So, have you talked to Yi Fan again?”

“No, I haven’t. I literally didn’t give him any respond when he said that he is Yi Fan last night.”

“Why you left him hanging like that? Poor boy. He must feel so miserable right now.”

Hayoung chuckled at her mother’s words, “How could you say that? You didn’t even see him.”

“He is like my own son. I always wanted a son.” She said, dreamily. “Oh, back to topic. You should go talk to him. Don’t make him wait. I know that boy could make random assumptions about your behavior if you don’t give him the certain answers.” She added.

“Oh right. You talk like he is really your own son.” She rolled her eyes. “Should I really talk to him?”

“Should you?” she asked back.

It dawned on her that something must be done right now. There was barely time for Hayoung to think, even if she wasn’t so sure on how to face him.