Should i?
Hot 'n ColdNowadays Tiffany and i are totally like a human and her shadow. We are inseparable. Even when we have to be away from each other at times, like when she has to go to the company or when i have to go to my class, we will always try to spend our time together as much as possible.
I even have moved to her room now. We'll chatting and cuddling every night before we sleep. She will be the first thing i saw when i wake up in the morning, and the last thing i saw before i sleep in the night. Everything is perfect....if only it could lasts forever. The clock keep ticking and it won't stop nor slowing down. And both of us realize that. Not so much time left for us to spend together like this.
But none of us ever try to talk about it either. I know she tried so hard to look all fine in front of me. But i know deep down inside she's not alright. I can see the sadness in her eyes even when she shows me her breath taking eyesmiles. And i just can't help but to blaming myself for that. But to think about it again, i somehow feel like she also has the same feeling for me. I don't know whether it's just my imagination or what, but seeing all the love and care she gave me, making me think that she also loves me in that way. maybe my feeling for her is mutual.. maybe my love actually isn't a one sided love.. maybe.. and i think i should find the answer before i leave, shouldn't i?
So here i am. Back in my room, pacing back and forth while holding my phone tightly in my right hand. I have debating with myself for around 20 minutes now. Should i really do this? Is this a right thing to do? Argh! This feeling really drives me crazy!
"Uh.. h-hello fa-fany?" What a good way to start, Kim. I mentally facepalmed myself.
"Tae? Where are you? I just take my bath for around 15 minutes and when i'm back, you're nowhere to be seen." I can imagine her cute pouting right now.
"Ah..i.. i'm in my room."
"Eh? In your room? Why? You won't sleep in my room tonight?" She said rather disappointedly. And it increases my confidence somehow.
"No, i will. Or at least i hope i will. But it depends."
"Depends on what?" She asked confusedly
"Depends on your answer."
"Yah Kim Taeyeon! Stop playing around, will ya? And stop confusing me. What answer, Taeyeon-ah?"
"Ehem.. just listen, Fany-ah. And please don't say anything until i ask you to. Okay?"
"But Tae-" she stops speaking as she heard my voice. Singing.
(Secret - Apink)
oneureun jamsiman nae yaegireul deuleojwo
Today please listen to my story even just for awhile
geudongan amudo mollatdeon bimireul
A secret that no one know all of these times
malhalge.. saranghae.. saranghae..
I'll say it.. I love you.. I love you..
deulliji anheun moksori soricyeobwa
I try to yelling the unheard voice
ibsure maemdora hal su eobtdeon maldeul
The words that can't be said are stuck on my lips
ireomyeon andwoendamyeo nuneul gamado
I can't be like this, so i'll just close my eyes
jakkuman geu sarami boyeo
I only keep looking at that person
wae ireon mareul neoege haneunji moreuni
I don't know why i'm saying all of this things to you
You don't wanna be my heart? You don't wanna be my life?
You don't wanna be my heart? you don't wanna be my life?
ihaega anga jigeum i sungan
I really can't understand this moment
naega jalmot malhan geon aninji gomini dwae
Words that i've said wrongly, no, they become worries now.
ni juwireul dulleobwa.. you will always be my love.
Try to look around you.. you will always be my love.
"Fany-ah.. you've listen to it right? That song conveyed my true feeling. It spoken the words that can't be said by me because i'm afraid. I'm afraid of the rejection, afraid of the pain, afraid of the risks. I know i'm such a coward. Even now i can't say this directly in front of you. Not because i'm not sure of my feeling, or embarrassed with it, but it's because i don't want to scare you. Honestly confessing to you was never in my agenda. I planned to keep this feeling alone for myself until the end. But now i can't bear it anymore. This feeling is way too big for me to keep it alone to myself and i don't care anymore Fany-ah with the other things that used to held me back from confessing. I can't hide it anymore. My feeling for you. I love you, Tiffany Hwang. More than you could ever know." I paused.
"I love you." I said confidently while opening the door of her room. My right hand still holding the phone against my ear, our phone call is still conected. I finally have the courage to face her now even though i can't calm down my rapid heartbeat. Yes, i'm so damn nervous right now. But there's no turning back anymore. Now or never. I told myself.
I see her silently crying while clutching hard to her phone, i don't know it's a good sign or a bad sign for me.
But when she looks at me, realizing my presence in front of her, she's crying harder. Seeing that i immediately rushing over her, and pull her into my embrace.
"Ssshhh.. stop crying, babe. Listen, nothing will ever change between us no matter what. I promise. And.. and you don't have to answer anything be
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