Memories. They said people live through their memories, and it tickles when the memories come back in a surge. I am curious now, how the memories can affected people. Because without them, now I feel lost. Everything become unfamiliar, even the air I breath is strange.

I keep swinging my legs. Has sitting on the rooftop of my old school been the thing I like to do? Because my feet led me here, seeing the town I used to grow up in from the height of my old school’s rooftop. My mind wanders still, it’s trying to remember a piece of my past which is just a waste because I can’t. Again, I fail to remember anything. I’ve met my old teachers earlier, they told me I’ve became prettier and congratulate me for graduating from Soeul National University. I just can laugh bitterly now I remember what they’ve said, because never once it acrossed my mind that I’m becoming prettier than I was or that I graduated from there. Because I can’t remember anything just yet.

2 weeks before

                “Lee Hayi... hurry come out for breakfast!” Mom calls me.

                Mom? I wake up from my sleep, stratled by the fact mom was calling me earlier. Mom? Am I dreaming?  I open the door with hurry to find out if it was really my mom.

                “Good morning!” she smiles. It is. It is mom. Now I realize, I’m also in my old house which i supposed to be in my apartement in Seoul right now.

                “What’s wrong Hayi-ah? Hurry take your seat and eat!”

                “Where is dad?” I ask her intentionally just to make sure this isn’t a dream.

                “He’s fixing your bike in the garage. I will call him,” she walks to call him up, “Yeobo! Let’s eat first, Hayi is looking for you here.”

                Dad comes after she called him, “Aigoo, my little daughter wants to take a breakfast with me, hmm?”

                So it’s not a dream. They are alive. They are here with me. “Where is Seunghoon oppa?”

                “He went for school earlier, said that he had a project to be done.”

                Wait. It’s kind of de javu. This morning looks exactly like that morning when I lost them both. It can’t be true. So this is just a dream? Without realizing, a tear rolls on my cheek. But why it feels so real, her smile and his laugh. I grip my fork. Even this... it feels so real. I begin sobbing real hard. I know I miss them but this is too much. I shouldn’t hallucinate things like this.

                “What’s wrong my dear?” Mom touches my cheek, and it feels real.

                Is this reality? I can feel her touch. So this is not just a dream. I reach her hand and caress my cheek upon it. “It is you? I’m not dreaming?”

                “Of course not. Something wrong?” she looks at me with her concerned look. I like it when she does it.

                “So it was just a dream where you both left me?”

                “Is it a nightmare you just woke from?” she caresses me.

                “I... I think so, Mom.”

                A loud bang come from the front door suddenly. It can’t be true. It can’t be them. I hear my parents shouting my name to run away from here. But I just sit there in our dining room. I keep hearing them shouting and screaming. I hear the gun fires and two body falls. But I just sit with tears falling from both eyes. This is just a dream.

                I wake up from that dream. My eyes are wet from crying. I sit my self up and look around. It’s the hospital. I’m in the hospital. Why did I end up here?

                The door is open and two persons, one girl and one boy, enter the room. The girl looks surprised to find me awake. She approeches me in rush and holds my shoulders, “You’re awake eonnie?”

                She smiles brightly and drags the boy to come near me. “Oppa look! Eonni is awake now!”

                “I’m glad you’re awake now Hayi-ah...”

                I look at them wondering. They are. Who are they? They look unfamiliar. I can’t remember any names with their faces. “Who are you? And why am I here?”

                They look at me disbelief.

                I walk in my old neighbourhood. It’s still beautiful with the murals and the stories they tell. I can remember running around with my childhood friends in here. It’s vividly beautiful. I can remember the things when I was here but none after I moved out to Seoul. But some faces are blurry I can’t identify or named them.

                Now I’m wating for the traffic turns to green ‘cause I want to go to the other side, in case I can remember anything from there. As I wait, I see a boy with messy hair stand in the other side of the road. He’s wearing hoodie and sweat pants. He looks like a mess. I keep looking at him when he accidentally looking back at me. We look into each other’s eyes for quite a time. The traffic lights is turning green, he looks away and starts to walk. When he comes near me, I realize he feels like someone I know. But i can’t remember him.

                He passes me. The wind too. I feels familiar to him. I turns around and say, “Excuse me, you there!”

                He turns to face me, “Me?”

                “Yeah. In case.... Do you know me?”