Fall Awake

The weather was overcast when Jinhwan woke up to morning, clouds filling up the spaces where the sun should’ve passed through. When his eyes scattered around the room, he felt that something was off. The air felt bleak, lacking from the absence of breakfast’s scent cooking up in the kitchen and the silence coming from Jinhyeong’s bedroom where his younger brother religiously listened to WINNER’s album to start up his day. Jinhwan paid no mind to it and prepared to school as per usual.

He was about three steps away from the school gate when he realized that he hadn’t passed by traffic or a single human being. No one also replied to him when he called to his mom to announce that he was leaving for school.

The school bell rang midstride and Jinhwan began to run not because he was late but because he had facts to confirm.

Breathing heavily, he climbed through eight flights of stairs to reach his classroom, forcibly opening the door and expecting heads to turn towards his direction once he stopped in his tracks. To his disappointment, the room was empty and he hadn’t passed by a single soul.

He hadn’t passed by a single soul.

That fact was very hard to believe in. Confused, Jinhwan rubbed his eyes before blinking twice in an attempt to will the scene before him away. If he expected a change or if he wanted a chance with magic, he was disappointed. Seoul was either playing a prank on him or he was going crazy. But his reasoning seemed unlikely. He was most probably having a nightmare.

It felt like eons ago since he last stepped into his classroom. It was as silent as could be, and Jinhwan was grateful that he didn’t have to deal with eyes that never wanted to see. He wasn’t exactly sure if he had come to the right place or if he was stuck in a parallel universe or a different era. He shrugged to himself as he took his seat by the window, comforted by the fact that his desk was free from vandalism for once.

He could imagine his adviser commencing the class and this time, Jinhwan could make believe that he was actually wanted there. No one was throwing him bits of paper or glares. No one consequently checked up on him to make sure he was having a ty time. In front of his eyes was a seemingly normal class for others, but a luxury to him. This was how it used to be, how it should be.

Before he could settle into the situation and flip his book to page fifty though, the sound of a bell rang from seemingly inside his head. It rang so close to his ears but felt so far away. When he looked up to the white ceiling, it felt like he was just starting the day, and the vibration near his pillow caught his attention. He reached for the device and was surprised that it was his second alarm, ten minutes past the usual. He sat up immediately, eyes scattering around his surroundings feeling shaken up. He was looking for something but he didn’t know what, the memory of his dream floating away. When he got on his feet, it felt like someone mugged him. That or he hastily climbed up eight flights of stairs.

“You’re going to be late,” his mother reminded him before heading downstairs.

Jinhwan stayed frozen on his bed, eyes where his mother was, mind scattered and he shook his head willingly as though it would send him into reality, even though he wasn’t sure if he still got tight grips on it.

The morning was overcast when Jinhwan stepped out and travelled the distance to his school, similar to his dream and it made him doubt whether he was actually awake or just simply reliving his sleep.

It took him until the first class before he had a grasp of the situation. He wasn’t dreaming because his classmates still taunted him and that could onl