Jessica hugged herself tighter. She tried to warm herself in the cold, empty corridor of that hospital.

Her clothes were a lot drier than before. Her hair was still a mess, though. Jessica brought her hand up to her scalp, cringing at how damp it felt. She definitely would take a warm shower when she reached home later. But sadly, it seemed like later would take a lot of time since she was still there.

Jessica didn’t know what in her mind actually was when she took off her cap, headphones, and her thick jacket in a complete hurry and jumped from the dock to the ice cold water earlier near midnight. She had witnessed the thing she never thought she would. A suicide. The woman tried to commit suicide by jumping off the dock. Jessica didn’t think twice when she helped her. She could swim well, and some harbor’s men also helped a lot.

And there she was, in the hospital, alone, because she, apparently, wasn’t allowed to leave before the doctor finished examining the woman whom she didn’t even know the name.

Honestly, Jessica was scared of suicide. Well, she hadn’t experienced such depression until the point of wanting to kill herself, but she was sure that nobody should commit suicide. Even though she didn’t even know who the woman was, but letting someone die because of suicide that she had witnessed was such a cruel act. There was no way she would do that.

Sighing, Jessica ruffled her own hair. And then she realized that she still had the necklace circling in her hand.

The woman tried to commit suicide after Jessica gave her this silver necklace. She had grasped it somehow from the woman’s hand earlier, and still kept it until now. It circled her fingers and the heart-shaped metal landed on her palm. Jessica looked at it, stunned, at how a necklace could make someone tried to kill themselves. Probably this is what the sender meant by asking the company Jessica was working for to deliver it.

She cringed. That sounded like a drama, somehow.

The sound of a door being opened surprised Jessica. She hurriedly stood up, her hand shoving the necklace inside her pocket as the doctor with some nurses came out. She was hoping for good news, at least she could finally go home.

“Are you Miss Hwang’s family?”

Jessica made a questioning face. Well, probably the woman’s name was Hwang.

“No, I’m not. But I was one of the people who brought her here.”

“Ah, okay.” The doctor nodded and fixed his glasses, “It is said that she tried to commit suicide, right? Luckily, she’s fine now. Maybe she just needs a day or two in the hospital but nonetheless, she will be fine.”

Jessica was relieved in hearing that, “Thank you, Doctor. It’s good to hear that.”

“Aren’t there any of her relatives here?”

“No, it’s only me.”

“Okay.” He nodded his head again, “I guess I’m finished here. Thank you for your kindness, Miss. You can go check on her if you want.”

“Yes, Doctor. Thank you very much.”

They bowed at each other and Jessica was left alone in front of the room. She exhaled another relieved breath. It was finally time to go home. She picked up her cap and headphones to get going, but she hesitated.

Should she check on the woman? To make sure that she was really okay, that what Jessica did wasn’t a complete waste. She contemplated, but soon she dared herself to push the door by the cold doorknob and walked in.

The woman was lying there, unconscious. She looked okay. She was still pale, but wasn’t as bad as before. Jessica carefully closed the door behind her and walked closer to the woman. She stared at her in silence, sighing slightly at how lifeless the woman looked.

Glancing to her left, Jessica found the woman’s belongings scattered on the table. She saw a wallet, opened. Mindlessly, she picked it up and observed it. There were quite a lot of credit cards. Okay, this woman was loaded. There was no photo in it. The frame inside the wallet was left empty. Jessica then found the ID card was peeking, and she took it.

The woman’s name was Stephanie Hwang, she was a little bit much older than Jessica, and she lived in some kind of an apartment. Only the name, age, and the address Jessica read because she didn’t want to invade more. She put the ID card to where it was placed and returned the wallet onto the desk.

A woman in that age still had a long way to go, she thought.

Jessica sighed deeply as she returned her gaze to the woman. It was a good thing she survived. Jessica couldn’t imagine what would have happened to this woman if only she couldn’t save her back then.  It would be such a waste if the woman couldn’t make it.

Slowly, she brought her hand to the woman’s. It was cold as heck. She tapped it softly, following the slow but steady rhythm of the latter’s heartbeat.

Please be okay.

And then she walked away. She was finished. With heavy steps, she exited the room to get herself home.

-

The ringing alarm woke Jessica up.

She groaned, rolling to her right, and slapped the alarm to turn it off. She had been sleeping for quite long. She opened one eye, peeking through her tousled bangs and saw her bedroom was dark because she hadn’t opened the curtains. How long had been sleeping actually? Jessica stretched a little before she rose from the bed and swung the curtains harshly.

The sunlight attacked her eyes immediately. Jessica narrowed her eyes as she looked down, to the streets beneath, and it was crowded already. It was a good thing she had asked for a day off. Actually she wanted to finish her homework so that she could join the exam earlier than predicted. But because she was lazy and tired, she decided to procrastinate.

She got home right before the sun rose earlier this morning. She took a short, warm shower, and slumped herself onto the bed until she woke up a few hours later. A part of her would still question, was the thing happened the night before real? Or was it only a dream? But another part of her would shrug it off. Things happen, and it’s not always an illusion.

Jessica spent her next hours cleaning up, although her muscles were still aching, she needed to move more. She then made herself a breakfast, or more like a brunch at that hour. She realized how hungry she was as soon as she plunged a spoonful of meat into . The last time she ate was in the bistro yesterday night.

Yesterday night. Jessica paused.

She remembered about what happened, again. The memory made her sigh. How about the woman, then? What was her name again? Stephanie Hwang? How was she at the moment? Did her relatives come? Was she still in the hospital?

Shrugging, Jessica continued eating. She didn’t want to think much. The woman was still alive, that was the most important. Jessica didn’t need to worry much.

After she had finished eating, she decided to just do her homework, which meant she had to go to the library. She picked up some layers for her to wear. And as she grasped her jeans, something fell from its pocket.

Jessica looked down. It was a necklace.

Oh, great.

She squatted down and took it in her hand. The silver necklace with a heart-shaped metal, yes it was the woman’s. Jessica mentally slapped herself. How could she forget to return it? She had been keeping it for this long?

Sighing, she stood up and gripped it tightly. Let’s just return it tomorrow, she thought. Hopefully, the woman would be better by then.

-

“Miss Stephanie Hwang had been discharged yesterday, Miss.”

Jessica frowned when the nurse told her that. As what she had planned, she took a day to finish her homework and then the next day, she went to the hospital to return the necklace. But she found the room was already empty, and a nurse told her that Stephanie Hwang had been discharged yesterday. That was fast.

“Really? Yesterday?”

The nurse nodded, “Yes, Miss.”

“Oh…”

The young girl sighed at that. It would’ve been way easier for her if the woman was still in the hospital.

“Can you tell me her address, then? You have it, right? Please?”

“Sure. This way, Miss.”

After she got the address, because the memory of it that she had read before already became a blur, Jessica went there with her bicycle. It was still quite early in the morning. She squeezed in time before her class. Hopefully the woman was still at home. Probably she took some rest there, Jessica thought.

Stephanie Hwang lived in one of the most expensive apartments in the city. Another proof that the woman was actually loaded. When Jessica arrived, the security recognized her as the delivery girl so she could freely enter. It was one of her job’s advantages. She parked her bicycle some meters away from the front entrance door.

Jessica knew she would take long if she came in through that entrance, because security check and all, so she decided to take the one near the parking lot. She had been there many times, because of the deliveries. If she couldn’t meet Stephanie Hwang, then she’d just give it as a delivery or something.

When Jessica walked in, a staff smiled at her. Great, she was pretty well-known there. Jessica bowed once and asked,

“Is Miss Stephanie Hwang here? I have something to give her.”

“Stephanie Hwang? Okay, wait a second.”

The staff was busy with the computer as Jessica looked around. Then she heard the voice of an elevator dinging. She jerked her head, and saw a familiar face.

It was her.

“Oh, never mind!” Jessica raised her hand to stop the staff, “She’s here.”

Without hesitation, Jessica approached the woman and stopped in front of her with a smile. The woman froze seeing her.

It was indeed Stephanie Hwang. She looked way, way better than two days ago. Her face wasn’t pale at all and Jessica realized how pretty she actually was. And she looked like she was about to go to work. Which was weird because remembering that two days ago, she just tried to commit suicide.

“Hi.” Jessica said, trying to sound as casual as she could.

The woman hesitated, “Uh… hi?”

“You don’t remember me? Miss…” Jessica frowned when she read the nametag on the woman’s blouse, because it was different from the name she had known, but she just shrugged it off, “Tiffany. Is your name Tiffany?”

“Ah, you. Yes, I’m Tiffany.”

Jessica only smiled. Tiffany it is.

“What do you want?”

The tone wasn’t friendly. Jessica’s smile faltered a little.

“Am I bothering you? I just want to--”

“I’m busy.” The woman named Tiffany looked at somewhere else, as if she was afraid someone would see them talking, “If you want something just make it quick.”

Another unfriendly tone. Jessica frowned deeply.

“How are you busy when you’ve only been discharged from the hospital yesterday? Are you sure you’re okay? Why don’t you just take a rest?” She crossed her arms, “Beside, I don’t want anything. I just--”

“Whatever, okay? It’s not your business. So please, excuse me.”

The Tiffany woman walked past through Jessica in a hurry and that annoyed the young girl. Seriously, this woman wasn’t friendly at all. Jessica quickly followed her and she could see the woman sped up her steps when she realized she was being followed.

The woman then unlocked her car, a black sedan that was parked inside the parking lot, and in a speed of light she entered it. Jessica didn’t think twice as she followed her, sitting on the passenger seat. Tiffany looked at her angrily, but Jessica didn’t budge at the stare. She just wanted to return the necklace, and then they wouldn’t meet again.

“Get out of my--”

“Shush.” Jessica raised her finger.

Without a word, she opened the dashboard and put the necklace inside it. Tiffany was too annoyed to even look at what the girl was doing.

“I’ll just put it there.” Jessica said as she closed the dashboard, “Have a nice day, Miss Tiffany.”

With that, Jessica exited the car. Right after she closed the door, Tiffany drove away as quick as she could.

Jessica cringed at the sight. She needed to remind herself that it was the same woman who had tried to commit suicide.

-

“For real? It was you?”

Apparently, it made into the news. Jessica had no idea until Hoon and the other workers in the office started talking about it. She was busy tidying her packages when Hoon asked her if she knew who the news were referring to, so she answered casually, that she was the one who saved the woman from suicide.

And it became a huge shock for everyone.

After the commotion had ended, she was left alone with Hoon in the storage. Mr. Han wanted her to pack the unsent letters and packages, meanwhile Hoon followed her because he was still curious.

“Yes, Hoon. How many times do I need to say it? It was me, okay?”

“Wow.” Hoon crossed his arms and leaned his body on the wall, “That’s… how was it?”

“How was what?”

“Saving that woman. How was it? Wasn’t it scary?”

“As heck.” Jessica scoffed, lifting a light box to put it onto the shelf above her, “But I didn’t think. I just did.”

Hoon only nodded his head. They became silent for a moment before he continued,

“Did you meet her again?”

Jessica exhaled a breath. Yes, she did. And it wasn’t nice. If only the damn necklace wasn’t in her jeans pocket then she wouldn’t want to meet that woman again. Jessica wasn’t a super friendly type of person either, but at least she tried to be. That’s why she hated unfriendly people. They could at least try.

“Yeah.”

“Really? How was she?”

“She was…” Jessica hung her sentence, trying to find a fitting word but couldn’t so she just spilled it, “she wasn’t nice, she wasn’t friendly, and she was weird. There was something of hers carried by me accidentally, I wanted to return it, but… she didn’t welcome me. And it was only a day, nearly two, after the almost suicide and yet she looked okay. Like nothing happened, as if she never tried to jump into her death.”

“She didn’t even thank you?”

Jessica puffed a breath, “Not even close.”

Hoon nodded his head again and said with a sigh, “That’s scary, you know.”

Jessica looked at him, confused.

“She might hate you for stopping her.”

The girl frowned, “Are you saying that what I did is wrong?”

“No, of course not. I’m just saying, she probably wanted to die but you came and became such a mighty hero and all, so she didn’t die.”

“How do you know she really wanted to die?”

“Everyone who commits suicide wants to die, Jessica.” He rolled his eyes, “Come on, why do you think she jumped? She slipped? No way.”

Jessica stopped what she was doing. Hoon was somehow, right.

“Then again, it’s not like you’re going to meet her again.” He said before he made his exit, “I think I’m done satisfying my curiosity. Thanks. See you later.”

“Sure, see you later.”

After Hoon had left, Jessica sat down on the floor. It had been days since she last met that woman, Stephanie Hwang, or Tiffany, whatever her name was. Yesterday she got a delivery to the woman’s apartment, but of course she didn’t meet Tiffany. She had no intention to. She didn’t want to care.

But what Hoon had said stung in her chest. He was right. Everyone who commits suicide wants to die. Tiffany wasn’t an exception. Should Jessica feel guilty about that? Wasn’t what she did actually a good deed? Or was it thoughtless?

She heavily stood up and continued tidying the boxes. Hoon was right. She wasn’t going to meet her again, anyway.

At least she didn’t want to.

-

Jessica bit her lip eyeing the address written in the last package in her hands. The woman’s apartment. Tiffany’s apartment.

She sighed. Now every time she read that address, that apartment, it reminded her of Tiffany, of suicides. Really, it wasn’t a great memory. She felt like the letters or packages meant for the people in that apartment had increased drastically. Or was it just her?

But still, she had to deliver. She put it back inside the bag and started going with her bicycle. The wind was blowing pretty hard and it made her feel relaxed. The day was kind of cold but she wore enough layers. Her legs muscles were aching slightly, but she was used to it. And it was the last delivery for the day, she could rest soon.

She quickened her paddling when the tall building of the apartment could be already seen. Her head turning left and right, enjoying the wind that blew, hitting her face. She would finish earlier today, which means she could treat herself some foods after this. The thoughts made her happy.

There was this empty alley for the big garbage bin right beside the apartment building. Jessica looked slightly at it, and she saw something familiar. She stopped her bicycle immediately, causing the wheel to let out a squeak.

Did she just see Tiffany’s car?

She got off the bicycle and pulled it with her as she walked back into the alley.

When she peeked at it, it really was Tiffany’s car. She still remembered the black sedan and its number series. She saw the back lights were on, so it meant the car was on, and someone had to be inside.

Was it Tiffany?

It had been more than a week since she last met her. Should she? It was really her car, though. It would be okay, then. Probably the second time would be better than the first. Jessica then hesitantly, parked her bicycle by the alley and walked to the car. A greeting is fine, she thought.

She was about to knock the window and smiled, before the thing she saw buried deep her intentions.

She recognized Tiffany inside, and her head was being slammed continuously onto the steering wheel. There was blood, coming from her wrist. Jessica’s eyes widened, her heart skipped a beat. Her hands were trembling when she harshly hit the car’s window.

“What the are you doing?! Stop it! Open the ing door!”

Tiffany ignored her. She kept doing it, slamming her head again and again. Jessica didn’t think as she tried to pull the door open, and surprisingly, it wasn’t locked.

She could hear Tiffany’s cry and plea as the woman’s body fell onto her embrace. She then tried to pry herself from Jessica, her fine hand kept pushing Jessica away until the girl almost lost her balance. With trembling hands, Jessica held her still. She reached the woman’s injured wrist and wrapped her fingers around it, trying to prevent blood from flowing.

“Bloody hell, you’re ing crazy! What the are you thinking?! Stop it! Somebody help! Somebody help us!”

“Go away! Go away!”

“Stop it, I said!” Jessica held her tighter, wrapped her fingers around her wrist tighter, “Somebody help us!”

It was soon a blur for Jessica when people rushed to help them, when Tiffany was brought away from her, when she brought her palm up and all she could see was blood, and when she saw something she recognized, as the silver necklace hanging loosely on the opened dashboard.

****

I'm a total er for ballad, so this song is love.