Jessica sat down there in silence, eyes looking emptily to the figure lying unconscious on the bed inside that room.

Miss Stephanie Hwang lived alone, they said. She didn’t have any relatives, at least not in this city. Her family track was unknown since she had been living alone for quite long. And she was a workaholic. There was nothing she usually did except for working. She was filthy rich, she had a promising position, she could just flick a finger and money would flow at her.

It had basically nothing to do with Jessica. But the girl found herself didn’t have the heart to leave this woman.

A huge chaos was happened earlier. It was such an unfortunate coincidence. Tiffany tried to commit suicide and Jessica saved her, again. Jessica swore this woman was lucky meanwhile she herself was the opposite. Knowing that Tiffany didn’t have any relatives had made Jessica as the only option to be the one who will stay with her.

A person who tried to commit suicide twice definitely needed help. Jessica couldn’t say no when the doctor, which was the same doctor as the last time, asked her to help Tiffany. He looked so hopeless. He wanted Jessica to at least stay with the woman until she regains her consciousness. Jessica couldn’t say no. She didn’t have the guts to. She wanted to help. She had already involved too far into this case to be careless.

And so she did.

It was late at night and Jessica was still there, inside the woman’s apartment. The people who helped earlier, including the doctor, had left. Jessica sat down there, beside the woman’s bed, eyeing the latter which was in her deep slumber. Her left wrist was bandaged. Jessica clenched her fists seeing that. It reminded her at how her fingers wrapped around it, at how her palm looked with blood all over it.

This woman was crazy. Whatever her reason was, Jessica already had in mind that this woman was insane. She didn’t know what she would do when the woman wakes up later and finds Jessica with her. She didn’t even know when the woman would actually wake up. She already waited for hours.

Sighing, Jessica bent forward and brushed the woman’s hair off of her face. Tiffany looked like a corpse. Except that she was still breathing, luckily. Jessica felt frustrated by just staring at the woman.

She then felt her stomach growling, for the nth time that day. She hadn’t had dinner. She was too busy panicking earlier. Right, she needed to eat. Or else she would be as dead as this woman.

Slowly, Jessica pushed herself up and walked to the kitchen. The apartment was different from hers. It was way more luxurious and spacious. Jessica didn’t feel comfortable there, though. But still, she had to eat and the only choice was the food in the apartment. She observed the kitchen first before she opened the fridge.

Her eyes glistened when she saw the fridge was full of food like literally, full. A lopsided smile plastered on her face as she looked at it one by one.

Maybe staying here wasn’t that bad.

-

Finally. Jessica tapped her stomach.

She cooked a bowl of ramen for her super late dinner. She chose ramen because if later the woman asked for a payback, Jessica could still buy it for her, since she didn’t want to sacrifice her savings just for expensive foods. She exhaled in satisfaction seeing her now empty bowl before she stood up to wash it.

She was busy doing the dishes until when she had finished and turned off the faucet, she heard something from behind her. Jessica paused. There was something else moving.

Slowly, she turned around and there she was. Tiffany.

The woman didn’t look better than before, not at all. Her hair was a mess and her face, geez, how was that a face of a living being? Jessica didn’t budge at her stare. The woman surely recognized her. Jessica didn’t need to act so casually polite anymore because she didn’t feel the need to, she didn’t want to. She wasn’t even sure what to do at the moment so she just stood there, being silent.

And out of nowhere, the woman raised her right hand and slapped Jessica. It was so hard, Jessica felt her cheek burning.

“You.” Tiffany said, gritting her teeth, “How dare you. Why did you stop me.”

The girl kept mum, her head was still tossed aside.

“Why did you stop me?! Huh?!”

Angered, Jessica returned her gaze to the woman and said,

“Because I didn’t want you to die.”

Tiffany scoffed, “What does that have to do with you? It has nothing! Why did you even bother?!”

Jessica clenched her fists.

“Now go.” She extended her hand to the front door, “I don’t ing need you here. Go ing away now.”

Jessica could feel her body trembled with anger. She didn’t move an inch.

“I said go away! I don’t need you here! Go away!”

With that Tiffany started to push her harshly, hitting her here and there, even slapped her once more. Jessica had it enough as she grasped both Tiffany’s wrists and pushed her until she was trapped between the girl and the wall behind her. She pinned both wrists on the wall and stared angrily at the woman. Tiffany hissed, probably because of the injured wrist but Jessica didn’t care.

“What now?” Another scoff, “Are you going to lecture me? At how I should value my life? At how I shouldn’t do this?”

Still, Jessica didn’t say a word.

“I don’t have anyone to ing mourn on my death, stop acting like you care!”

It was Jessica’s turn to scoff as she gripped the wrists tighter and Tiffany hissed once more.

“ you, Tiffany.”

Jessica said. Her voice sounded calm, she didn’t need to shout.

“What?” Tiffany raised her eyebrows slightly.

“ you, Tiffany.” She repeated, didn’t budge at all, “ you for claiming all rights to be the most pathetic person in the world. you for thinking that your life has no purpose and it’s better to end it. you for being an ungrateful .”

“What are you--”

“I’ve saved you, twice. Haven’t learned your lesson yet? You don’t decide your death, Tiffany. ing accept it! You still have to live for only God knows how long. And by that time I won’t ever let you do this thing anymore.”

“Who are you to say that? You’re not--”

Tiffany hissed, again, when Jessica purposely gripped the injured wrist even tighter.

“, stop doing that!”

“Why? Can’t stand the pain? Was that what you’re going to say in hell later? Because you obviously aren’t ready for it, Tiffany.”

The girl let the woman’s name rolled out smoothly by her tongue and she could see how the latter’s slightly gulped at her words. Serves her right, she thought. Jessica couldn’t control her anger any longer. Such an ungrateful indeed. Jessica felt like Tiffany had too much in her hands until she lost counted of how many it actually was.

They became silent for quite a while. Jessica realized how rushed Tiffany’s breaths were and how weak she was compared to the former. She slowly loosened her grip on the woman’s injured wrist and the hand fell down to Tiffany’s side lifelessly. Their eyes never left each other’s, as if they would make holes on each other’s faces.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” Jessica continued, her tone softening, “I’m also not going to lecture you. I just want you to know that you’re not alone, and you can never kill yourself with me around. If you expect me to back away with your harsh words or careless actions, then stop expecting. You have no one, and I have no one. It’s fair for us.”

When Jessica let go of the woman’s right hand, she started hitting the girl again. Tears rolling down her cheek and Jessica felt pain by just seeing her. She didn’t fight back, she let Tiffany hit her, slap her, and instead she threw her arms around the woman. She hugged her tight, bearing the pain, holding the woman who kept trying to pry away.

It took minutes for Tiffany to finally calm down and cried her heart out in Jessica’s embrace. Her painful sobs could be heard clearly in that dead silent apartment. Jessica closed her eyes and held the fragile woman tighter.

Tiffany was far from fine and Jessica wasn’t going anywhere.

-

“When are you going to leave?”

The sun was starting to rise when Jessica heard Tiffany asked her that. She tore her gaze from the window to the woman across her and kept silent for a moment. The stinging pain she had, especially in her cheek, thanks to those slaps Tiffany gave her, hadn’t faded a bit. Jessica hadn’t looked at herself, but she was sure there must’ve been a mark somewhere on her painful cheek. It was her fault, though, that she didn’t fight back and just let Tiffany hit her here and there.

“Why is that?”

She asked back, her arms crossing.

They had grown calmer, and quieter. Tiffany didn’t complain much when Jessica cooked her some edible food and told her to eat. The younger girl also didn’t talk much and just roamed her eyes around the huge apartment.

“Are you seriously staying with me like all the time?”

Jessica shrugged, “Is that wrong?”

“Why would you?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Tiffany sighed, “ing answer me.”

It made the corner of Jessica’s lips lifted, forming a lopsided smile, “I’ve told you. You have no one, I have no one.”

“So does that make you able to stay with me?”

“Yes, of course. Why doesn’t it?”

Jessica’s over-confidence made Tiffany let out a weak scoff as she turned her head to somewhere else but the former. The girl noticed it. She followed Tiffany’s stare, to the window, and it was starting to get brighter because of the sun.

It was unbelievable that Jessica hadn’t even slept for a second. She felt heavily tired, but not sleepy. Not when she was stuck with a woman like Tiffany and had to stay with her so that the woman wouldn’t be able to do crazy things such as suicides anymore. Jessica wanted to leave her alone, she didn’t want to get involved in this mess, but when she recalled back to how Tiffany cried earlier, she realized that she didn’t have the heart to.

“You know what,” Jessica started again, but Tiffany didn’t respond, “you don’t even know my name.”

It took Tiffany five seconds to answer back, “Why would I need to know.”

“I don’t know.” Jessica shrugged again, leaning her back onto the backrest, “You answer it.”

Tiffany slowly returned her gaze to the girl, and Jessica stared back at her. She opened , but no words came out until she closed it again. Jessica waited. Her expression didn’t falter.

“You--”

“Jessica.”

“Huh?”

“The name’s Jessica.” She said, “Since you’re not going to ask, I’ll just say it. I’m Jessica. It’s nice meeting you, Tiffany.”

Before Tiffany could say anything else, Jessica stood up and brought the dirty plates with her to the faucet. Tiffany watched her back in silence when Jessica put the plates down with a muffled sigh.

“Jessica,”

It was some seconds later when she heard Tiffany said her name, and she realized that Tiffany had stood up from her seat to stand behind her. The name sounded so different coming from Tiffany. It sounded hopeless, helpless, and Jessica would cringe if Tiffany ever called her in that way again.

“If you want to leave, just leave. I have nothing to do with you and vice versa. You shouldn’t… you shouldn’t know people like me. You should’ve avoided me since the first place. You don’t have to do this for me. I don’t--”

The sentence abruptly ended with a gasp as Jessica turned around and put her hand on the side of Tiffany’s head, brushing the hair gently. Tiffany looked at her in disbelief, her fingers holding the edge of the dining table tightly. Jessica gave her a slight smile as she brought her hand down.

“The doctor is going to come again today.” She said, ignoring what Tiffany had said earlier, “With a psychiatrist.”

“What?” Tiffany frowned instantly, “But I’m not--”

“I know.” Jessica cut her with a nod, “That’s why we’re going out today.”

Tiffany didn’t say anything when Jessica grasped her injured wrist with both hands and tapped it softly. She was so careful, so unlike how she did almost the same thing earlier.

“We’re going out today,” Jessica repeated, “but first, we’ll change the bandage and take a shower. You agree, right?”

-

Tiffany looked around her with her confused eyes as she was being dragged by the younger girl. It was a bus. She was inside a bus. And it was pretty crowded but luckily they got two seats on the very last row. Jessica pulled her to sit beside the former, and when the bus started going, Jessica still hadn’t let go of her hand.

She found herself dumb at how she let Jessica easily took her out to wherever she wanted to go. A psychiatrist was going to come, that was how Tiffany reasoned herself. But still, they were no more than strangers to each other and to think that Jessica surely had her own life besides absurdly taking care of her,

It was confusing.

“Who are you?”

So Tiffany asked Jessica that. And it made she got strange stares from people around them. Of course, how could someone asked another being who held her hands about who they were? But Jessica didn’t seem to be bothered by that. She hummed, and Tiffany felt her grip to her hand tightened.

“Me? Well… my name’s Jessica and I’m a college student who’s also taking a part time job. And I live alone, like you.”

Jessica ended telling more about herself that time. She casually talked, and Tiffany listened, with their hands still laced together. As a woman who was filthy rich, Tiffany couldn’t remember her last time riding a public bus. It was crowded, it was uncomfortable, but Jessica’s hold to her assured her somehow.

Tiffany learned that Jessica was younger than her. She was still in college meanwhile Tiffany had left those days since a long time ago. Jessica admitted she wasn’t talkative, but the woman found Jessica talked much compared to the silent her. Jessica even told her some pointless things such as how she bought her bicycle.

“How about you?”

When Jessica asked that, Tiffany blinked at stared at the girl in blank,

“Me?”

“Yeah, you.”

“What about me?”

“Well, you asked me, so I ask you back.” Jessica shrugged, “So, how about you?”

Tiffany kept silent, and she realized how the people around them still had their questioning stares at both of them. The woman then chuckled lowly seeing that and shook her head slightly in amusement.

“It’s absurd.”

Jessica took her turn to be silent. She was stunned for a moment.

“Absurd?” The girl then asked, “Why is that?”

“You know, you and me, talking like this. Don’t you realize people are staring?”

It made Jessica look around and only smiled shyly at the stares. They surely got a little attention from those people. When Jessica turned her head to Tiffany again, the woman still had a smile left from the chuckle earlier.

“You know what,” Jessica started.

Tiffany lifted her head to the girl.

“You should smile more. You're really beautiful when you smile.”

****

I'm still trying to continue the other on-goings, but damn it, writer's block .

Thank you so much for reading this, too. It's a pleasure for me to write.