As I traced my fingers along the glossy, luxurious glass wall, I fixed my gaze to the beautiful shiny objects inside. My heart glowed with excitement as well as nervousness as I paid a more detailed attention to each shape and size. It was not the first time I visited this kind of shop, but somehow it felt so different. 

I stopped after a few times of going back and forth between one drawer to another when one certain object caught my interest. 

A sun-shaped ring. Very bright and shiny; just like what her name always reflected. It was perfect, I thought. I hadn't found any other ring as good and meaningful as this one. 

"Miss, can I take a look at this one?" I called the shop assistant who had patiently been waiting until she got called.

I fell in love deeper with the said ring after it was taken out from the drawer and was brought to my face. I grinned as I imagined how Sunny's reaction would be when she saw this ring.

After all the things that we had been going through, I was finally going to take Sunny to the marriage altar. Yes, that Sunny who had been my girlfriend for five years. From the very first time, I had believed that one day I would reach this stage together with Sunny; entering a new part of life after finishing our life as an idol.

"I think I'm going with this one" I convincingly said. 

"It's a very good choice. Sun symbolizes brightness in marriage" The shop assistant smiled to me. "Do you want any words to be carved on it?"

"Ah, yeah" I scratched my head, almost forgetting about the words Sunny and I had chosen together to be carved forever on that ring. "I'll write it down then, along with the size of the rings"

Given a paper and pen, I then wrote 'Forever Us'. I added the size of the rings below it and returned the paper to be checked by the assistant. 

"It will take around one week, if it is okay with you" she explained.

"It's fine. Please notify me when it is done" 

I walked out of the shop after thanking the shop attendants. When I arrived in the parking lot, finding my Benz was easy for me as the black car had accompanied me for the past two years. I quickly hopped onto the seat and took a long, deep breath.

One task by one task was done, and I was getting nearer and nearer to the day – the day that Sunny and I had been dreaming of. As much as I believed nothing was impossible for us, still, I couldn't help but feeling amazed every time I looked back at all the things we had been going through; our fights, our tears, doubts, angers, and happy moments as well. 

Could you believe it, Kim Taeyeon? I asked myself like a crazy idiot. Could you believe it? You're marrying Lee Sunny! 

I calmed my heart down before finally putting on my seatbelt. I was about to turn on the car's engine when I heard my phone vibrating from inside my bag. Could it be Sunny? I quickly pulled the slim white gadget from its place and checked the screen. 

It was not Sunny, but I still smiled when I saw the name. There was no other person you could share your happiness with besides your very own best friend, wasn't there? 

"Hey, Fany-ah" 

"Woohooo. Someone has chosen the wedding ring todaaay?" her distinctive type of voice rang through my ears.

"I can't help it. It's only three months away from now" 

"I chose my wedding ring with Nichkhun in only a few weeks before the D-day!" Tiffany giggled. "You sure are excited"

"Well, I can't help it. I'm marrying someone I fall in love with everyday. Who wouldn't be excited?"

"Cheesy Kim Taeyeon. No wonder Sunny is falling for you. I'm jealous"

"Yah, you have your Khun already. So, what's the matter? You aren't calling me just to tease me about my wedding rings right?"

"Of course not. Here, I was thinking if we could spend some time together before the day…"

"Hmm?"

"You know, a bachelorette party. If you're married already you won't have time to spend with your best friends. I'm planning to throw a party for you to celebrate the ending of your bachelorette days"

"Right, said the party host who has been married too"

"Yah, the party is not about me. It's about you. So how do you think?"

"Don't tell me the party is gonna be in..."

"Of course in my house!"

"Who are you gonna invite?"

"No one. It's just you and me"

"And you call that a party?"

"I just need to talk some private things with you too, that's all"

"Alright, alright. When will it be?"

"I'll text you the details later"

"Okay. See you then"

I ended the phone call and threw my phone back inside the black bag. I finally the car engine and flashed out of the area in a few minutes. As I drove through the busy streets of Seoul, my mind kept bringing me back to Sunny. What was she doing? Of course she had been busy preparing for our wedding, too, right? The last time we talked was yesterday morning, due to my curiosity toward Sunny's wedding gown. 

Furthermore, Sunny was in LA, too, making the time difference became the biggest reason why I could not contact Sunny as often as I wanted to. I knew, a lot of people said, few months before a wedding day was the most crucial time for a couple. Our love and trust would be tested, and how I wish I could be with Sunny through such moments. But alas, as I continued my dream as a solo singer, I needed to be in Korea quite often than she did. 

I thought it was true that time flown slowly when you were expecting something. Weeks or even days felt like forever to me. You could say I was being too eager and impatient, but, that was what I felt. When I was lying down by myself in my room at nights, I would randomly feel uncomfortable. My heart would pound fast and I had to wait for a few hours before I could fall asleep completely. It was the same like waiting for a bomb to explode; the only difference was that it was a good bomb for me. 

That night, though, because I could not sleep, I my laptop and started browsing the net to keep myself busy and to stop my mind from wandering around. When I opened the search engine, for an unknown reason there was only one word popping out in my head: marriage.

So that was exactly what I typed. A lot of stuffs came out in the search results; starting from wedding gowns and suits, wedding rings, and any other million things you would definitely see under the keyword.

But there were these two words I found when I was scrolling my mouse down, and that was...

Lesbian marriage. I clicked the link and waited, rather nervously, for what would come out. After all, I had decided to hold my wedding with Sunny in LA and not in our own country since it would be safe for gay couples like us to tie the knot in a more accepting country. If I could list down the contras that people had told us when we announced our marriage, there would be more than one paper. But I was completely in love with Sunny that I was willing to take the risks despite everything.

The first few articles I saw were positive ones, which made sure of the steps I had taken. However, after a few more clicks, I found a quite interesting read among the hundred articles, entitled 'Lesbian Marriage: Things You Should Be Considering Before You Decided'

As expected, the article used quite formal words in English, but being friends with the Californian girl Tiffany had given me the advantage to understand many of them. 

Getting married in normal couples is hard enough. Getting married in lesbian couple is twice harder. 

I rolled my eyes. This was not true, I said to myself. Nothing I had found so hard during my process to propose Sunny until now.

Once you get married, you are tied to the same person for the rest of your life. So, consider it really really carefully before you take the step.

I had considered this carefully, and I was more than 100% sure to be tied to Sunny for the rest of my life. 

Consider your differences. You and your partner might have undiscovered differences you have never encountered before and don't regret when you find them through the marriage.

Hmm, that was true, but... Getting married does not necessarily mean you stop learning about the person you love, right? You can find more differences and still grow attracted to the person.

Be 100% sure if marriage is the same thing you and partner want in life. You might want the marriage, but she might, or might have actually wanted something different. Avoid yourself from getting terribly hurt after the marriage happens.

I stopped the mouse on that sentence.

I read it once more, and slowly, it hit me. The sentence hit me. 

Damn it, I wasn't supposed to doubt myself and Sunny like this, but...

Was this really what Sunny wanted?

I might be falling head over heels for her but...

The sentence was true.

Even after I got eternally engaged to Sunny, there was no way I could read everything in her mind. 

What was Sunny thinking during our climbs toward the peak together?

Did she get tired? Did she ever think of giving up? Had she ever thought of postponing the marriage, or even... cancelling it?

Should I call her and asked her if this really was what she wanted? But… wouldn't she get angry and think I was the one doubting the marriage?

My fingers met my head and scratched it in frustration. I couldn't believe my faith was as fragile as this. I shook my head and rubbed my temple. This was wrong; it was because I read the article and the sentence. This was just an article and it could be wrong. But… it could be true right?

“Aaargghh!” I shut my laptop brutally without even bothering to click the ‘turn off’ button. 

*

I could not believe the days I passed after that night would feel so vague. Maybe this was what people called as wedding jitters? Was I feeling the same euphoria and anxiety too? 

Even when I got the call that my rings were ready to pick up, I became even more scared because I knew we were getting closer and closer to the day, and I didn't even know whether I was ready. I ended the phone call, saying that I might not be able to pick it up as soon as possible since I was busy.

"I have seen your wedding suit in the email you sent me. It's really gorgeous, Tae. You will look so handsome" Tiffany blabbered as soon as I entered her house on the bachelorette party day.

Right, handsome. As if I was literally a groom. Well, but it's true that my wedding suit was a suit usually intended for grooms. It was going to be a white long-sleeve shirt covered with dark blue vest outside, and completed with a matching dark-blue blazer as the last layer of the suit.

I sat at the dining table as Tiffany put the food in small plates to the table. She then took out a bottle of champagne from the fridge, popped it out, and poured what was inside to two glasses.

"It's three more weeks, isn't it" she continued.

I only nodded.

"Heeey, you don't look excited."

"I don't, indeed"

"Why?" Tiffany asked. Confusion was clear on her face.

I sighed. "I don't know, Tiff. It's just… these past few weeks it feels like I've been having all kinds of feelings inside me"

My best friend looked at me without blinking, asking me for more explanation.

"I mean, I feel excited. But I also feel nervous at the same time. And doubtful, and scared. Everything at the same time"

"Hmm" She started eating. "As someone who has experienced marriage before you do, I think I understand what you are feeling"

"I do notice that a lot of people who are counting the days to the altar often feel like this, though"

"But you can't help but feeling the same thing and wonder if you're going to go through it, right?"

"Yeah. And I wonder if Sunny is feeling the same thing too. I am… kind of scared, you know. If Sunny suddenly doesn't feel the same way like I do, if she suddenly feels scared to get committed to someone like me. And what if… Sunny could actually find someone better than me?"

"Taeyeon, if she said yes the day you proposed her, it means she's sure of what she's talking and whom she's gonna be with"

"She could say yes just due to a short euphoria though" I shrugged my shoulders. "Since I was proposing her… umm… during our late night session"

That successfully pushed the Californian girl in front of me to burst out in laughters.

"During you said?" She managed to stop her giggles to ask that question.

"Yes. It was when we were nearing our…"

"Okay, stop"

"And just a matter of a few seconds before she… you know, I took out the ring and said it"

"I said stop. I don't need to hear all that" She continued eating. "But I am sure Sunny was still conscious of what she answered"

"You think so?"

"Look, Taeyeon. I don't know if Sunny is currently feeling the same way like you are, but if you don't trust her love and she doesn't believe in herself either then who would? During these important times, you need to be strong for her. You need to believe in yourself, and in her, too. I pretty much believe that's all that she needs"

I stared at my food without bothering to take my chopsticks. My mind went wandering by itself.

"Think about the first day you fell in love with her, the first day you promised yourself that you would take that girl to the holy altar someday and see her being beautiful in white. The first day you felt you wanted to be with that girl forever. And now that that 'someday' is coming, don't run scared"

"Okay" I responded shortly.

"C'mon, cheer up! We still need to go choose your invitation card after this!" She poked my arm, reminding me to finish my food even though I didn't feel like eating at all. 

It had been evening by the time we arrived at the card designer's place. Fortunately, though, choosing the card was not too hard since Sunny and I did not really mind about it. After given some options by the designer herself, with Tiffany helping and commenting every minute and then, my eyes caught the small, cute pinkish card that looked like a chocolate box with baby blue ribbon. 

Listing down the names to be invited was not a difficult task either, since my soon-to-be wife and I had decided to only invite a few people, mostly our dear ones, and some relatives of mine and hers. I gave the list of names to the designer for her to print it and put it on every card. 

"Remember, Tae. Use these important moments to strengthen your bond with her"

"I know, I know"

Tiffany looked at me with a sincere smile on her face. She suddenly took my hands and held them tightly.

"As your best friend, may I say one more thing?"

"Of course, Tiff. You can always say what you want"

"Being a best friend for you and Sunny for a looong time, having witnessed how you two have been going together until this day, I have to say I am really happy to see you two finally become one. Trust me, even I can see that there's nothing that can break your bond with her. Every time I look into your eyes, I see your love for Sunny and every time I look at Sunny's eyes I see the same thing. Don't let anything ever, ever destroy this; not even the biggest and the smallest thing. Alright?"

I stared at her after she finished her speech. I was really touched and almost teared up, but before I could say anything she pulled me into that same, bestie to bestie hug, as always.

"I'll see you later when you are on the altar, putting the rings and saying your vow to her. Okay?"

"Thank you, Tiffany" I whispered. "You're the bestest friend and the best counselor ever"

I couldn't see her face, but I knew her lips were turning up at my words. She let go of the hug and walked to the other direction of the road, waving her hand to me. I waved back with another smile.

What Tiffany said was true, but as the proverb said, it's always easier said than done. I spent the next days reminiscing my memories with my girlfriend, just like what Tiffany told me to. I even encouraged myself to pick up the rings I ordered, even though it was more than two months after I received the notification. 

Days and days passed without me even realizing it. That particular night, I laid myself down on the bed and took a picture put in a frame, a picture of me and Sunny on our first date. 

I was scared back then that when I asked her out, she would say no. But she said yes.

I was afraid back then that when I showed her the ring, she would reject the idea. But she said yes.

She had always trusted me. 

I opened the wedding ring box and saw the two tiny, but glittering and beautiful, rings inside. I watched the lights reflected from the ring for quite a while, and then closed the box.

I held it tightly on my chest and made up my mind.