Hansol had always known.

He remembered when he was little, walking around stores and shopping for clothes with his mother. He remembered tugging on her skirt to get her attention. She would smile at him and ask what he wanted and he would point at a dress hanging nearby.

“I like it. It’s pretty,” he would say, only to be met with a frown and his mother shaking her head.

“That’s not for little boys. Come on, let’s get you some shorts so you can be comfortable running around.”

He remembered when he was a bit older and going through his mother’s drawers, taking little bits of makeup when she wasn’t looking and hiding it in his room so that he could experiment with it when he was home alone. He remembered using his allowance to go out and buy jewelry and things that his parents wouldn’t let him buy, even if he had to lie and say he’d just bought snacks.

Hansol wouldn’t tell his parents.

But he knew.

Hansol sighed quietly, one hand curled around the strap of his backpack as he fidgeted awkwardly in his uniform. He didn’t like school. School made Hansol feel uncomfortable, and he constantly wanted nothing more than to just go home. Nibbling on the inside of his lip, Hansol opened his locker, listening in to a conversation that a few of his classmates were having nearby.

He should have joined in.

He wanted to.

But he was sure that joining a conversation about makeup and their boyfriends might be a bit much.

Hansol must have been staring a bit too long because all of a sudden he felt someone come up behind him, giving his shoulder a squeeze. Byungjoo turned to give Hansol a smile, walking backward for a moment as he waved.

“You okay?” he asked, and Hansol just nodded, offering Byungjoo a hesitant smile, which only made Byungjoo pause as he narrowed his eyes. “Are you sure?” he added, Hansol just nodding more.

“I’m sure,” he replied easily, watching as Byungjoo nodded after a moment and reached out to muss with his hair.

“Alright. I trust you, then. Now hurry up or you’re gonna be late to class.”

Hansol watched as Byungjoo ran off, disappearing into the classroom and leaving Hansol alone in the hall. There were people all around him, but he felt more like he was by himself. He didn’t even know how he and Byungjoo had become friends. It had just happened. Hansol didn’t really fit in with any of the groups of people at school, and neither did Byungjoo. That was where it had begun. Since that day, the two had become close friends.

But Hansol didn’t tell Byungjoo, either.

He didn’t want to lose him.

Sitting in class was boring, Hansol just scribbling down notes when prompted and trying to listen as much as he could. He did well in school, so he had that going for him, unlike Byungjoo who didn’t really care about lessons. As long as he was passing, he considered himself a winner, even if he was passing with a near failing grade.

All of a sudden Hansol’s phone vibrated in his pocket and his eyes widened, making sure his teacher wasn’t looking as he pulled it out to open the text. He smiled, glancing over to Byungjoo, who shot him a thumbs up and a cheesy grin.

Wanna chill after school? I’ll take you home if you need me to.

Hansol looked down at the text, thinking for a moment and glancing up to make sure their teacher still wasn’t looking before he answered.

Relaxing with Byungjoo was one of few things that got him through his day.

Sure.

Byungjoo and Hansol weren’t a pair that would normally be friends. Byungjoo was widely considered something of a delinquent, be it because of skipping classes, graffiti, or stealing whatever he could get his hands on. Hansol was the quiet, awkward boy in school, the one who kept to himself and didn’t have many people to talk to.

When the school day ended and the two walked together through the halls, they always got looks.

Hansol slid into the passenger seat of Byungjoo’s car, putting on his seatbelt and glancing at him. Byungjoo simply started driving, smiling to himself as Hansol watched.

“Where are we going?” Hansol asked, and Byungjoo just shrugged.

“I don’t know. Wherever you want to go because you looked depressed today,” Byungjoo replied, turning to look at Hansol for a moment as Hansol smiled to himself. Thinking for a moment, Hansol pursed his lips.

“Can we go shopping?” he asked, and Byungjoo shrugged.

“If that’s what you want. I’m not gonna judge,” he said with a smile, Hansol nodding and watching as Byungjoo turned so that they were heading toward the mall.

When they walked into the first store Hansol grinned, immediately disappearing into the area full of accessories. Byungjoo followed in near silence but with a smile, just pleased to see Hansol smiling and enjoying himself. After the sad look that he had been giving the group of girls in the hallway, Byungjoo had figured he’d needed something to make him happy again.

Byungjoo himself picked up one of the beanies, pulling it on and looking in a mirror. He pursed his lips, Hansol coming up beside him and looking at his reflection as well.

“You should get that. It looks good,” he said, nodding. Byungjoo shrugged, taking a few more minutes by the hats before following Hansol around the store.

It was like he was being led around by a girlfriend in a store he didn’t particularly care about, and he was almost ready to look for a place to sit before he noticed Hansol nearly stop in his tracks. Looking from Hansol to the clothes he was staring at, Byungjoo raised a brow.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked, leaning down a bit so he didn’t have to ask as loud. Hansol kept his eyes on the section he was staring at for a moment before hesitantly turning his head to face Byungjoo and nodding with a small smile.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I promise,” he said quietly, turning to leave the section but letting his fingers drag along the soft silk of the dress he’d been looking at.

The rest of the day went very similarly to that, the two simply relaxing as Hansol all but dragged Byungjoo through some of the stores he wanted to go to. Byungjoo only forced Hansol in through a store so he could look at some different hats, though he didn’t buy anything and simply let Hansol go back to leading him.

As they walked out, Hansol nibbling on an ice cream cone that Byungjoo had bought him, he felt something rather unceremoniously placed onto his head and he paused, looking in the window nearest them and using it as a reflection.

What he saw was the hat from the first store they’d gone into, Byungjoo wearing the same one and grinning behind him. Hansol just quirked a brow.

“Did you steal these?” he asked, making sure to keep his voice down as Byungjoo just wiggled his brows.

“I don’t know. I think I had them before and was just keeping them in my bag,” he added, laughing to himself as he slung his backpack further over his shoulder. Hansol simply shook his head, trying not to laugh as he adjusted the beanie on his head.

Byungjoo always managed to calm him down.

When they got to Hansol’s house he slipped out, offering Byungjoo a little wave as the other drove away. He walked quietly into his house, closing the door just as quietly behind him, then walking up the stairs to his room.

He didn’t want to talk to his mother right now.

Sitting on his bed, Hansol pulled the beanie over his eyes, flopping down onto his back a moment later and letting out a deep breath. He was glad that he had Byungjoo, even if he just relaxed with him. It made him feel better, and he didn’t want to lose him.

At the same time, though, he had no idea how to actually bring up the subject he wanted to bring up.

He stayed still for a moment before curling up around his pillow, beanie still over his eyes and face mostly buried into the fabric.

Byungjoo was one of his only friends.

He didn’t want to lose him, too.