His deep-pained eyes.

"Jinwoo," I whispered his name. I looked at him looking at me. I was holding my can of beer and he's holding his cup of coffee. He was standing on a bright lit part of the park while my side barely had lights. This perfectly represents us right now, we are in two extreme opposite sides in our life. Sides that can never ever collide.

I know he can see me. I know he knows it's me, if not then he wouldn't have such sad look on his eyes. Guilt crawls in my heart. It suffocates me. Looking at his eyes alone pains me, but I never looked away. I deserve the pain.

Suddenly, a guy jumps at him from behind hugging him tight, startling both us. I saw the panic look on him as he tried to wiggle free and see who it was. I dropped my beer, ready to run to his rescue, then I saw him smile widely.The guy stepped forward and I immediately recognized him as the guy he was with in the restaurant the other night. I stayed rooted on my place. "Sorry, I saw you standing in a dazed, can't help but surprise you."  The guy gave him a quick peck on the cheeks while placing his hands on his waist. He called him Hoonie if I'm not mistaken. "Yah! Don't do that again, I almost had a heart attack." Jinwoo slapped him playfully. "Anyway, what were you looking at? If it's something that caught your interest then that would be a problem for me. I have to eliminate it's existence." I scoffed. I hate to break it to you shorty, but I existed even before you did. I saw him looking around when Jinwoo spoke. "It's nothing, let's go home. Next time you're late, I'm not gonna wait for you anymore." He pouted before marching away, he didn't even gave me a second look. So, he was waiting for him. The guy looked back to my direction with an unreadable expression before following Jinwoo from behind. Oh great! He knows me.

I went back home and changed to a clean set of clothes. Chaerin is already sleeping soundly. Again, she just do whatever she wants, not that it's a bad thing. I looked at her and looked around the room. Nothing changed in this room except the person sleeping on the bed. I sighed deeply, I know my complaints about her is unreasonable and childish. I'm trying to look for Jinwoo in her but of course, she's a totally different person. She's always been like this even when we dated before. I thought she was perfect, not too clingy, very independent, confident and outgoing. Then, I started dating Jinwoo, they were total opposites. Jinwoo, he's shy whenever around people he's not close with. He's awkward, clumsy at times and easily gets lost. A home-buddy guy. But, he's also warm and caring. He always put others first before himself. He's very pure and genuine. There's not a single moment when I doubted his love for me. But my mind got clouded the moment Chaerin appeared. I don't know. I still don't have the answer to that question. I don't know why I left him. The day he begged me to stay by his side crying rivers of tears, my heart clearly lied.

Days pass and I kept coming back on that park night after night. Yes, I was hoping to see him. But he never came.

"Mino-yah, why are we jogging in this park this early glorious Sunday morning? You know I hate exercising right?" I dragged Chaerin here after failing to see Jinwoo last night, again. Maybe he'll show up in the morning. "I didn't ask you to come, Chaerin. You insisted." We are already in our fourth lap as I continued to looked around to spot a familiar figure. "Okay, stop. I wanted to come because I want us to spend the weekend together." She explained while catching her breath. "Can't we just take a slow and steady stroll instead of jogging?" I closed my eyes trying to supress my building annoyance. She doesn't deserve it, I just can't help to be annoyed at her sometimes. We sat down a nearby bench to rest. I saw a small ice cream stand at one corner of the park. On cue, Jinwoo's smiling face blurred my vision. I remembered our first date.

- What flavour do you want Jinwoo-yah?

- Can I have strawberry with peppermint chocolate sprinkles? What's yours, Mino?

- I'll get chocolate with candy sprinkles.

- Oh look your ice cream's melting.

- Omo, I have to finish it quickly.

- You have ice cream at the corner of your lip.

- Oh, can you help me take the tissue in my bag, Mino?

- No need, here let me help you.

That was also the first time I kissed him, with strawberry and peppermint flavor. His lips were sweet. "Chaerin, do you want to have ice cream?" I looked at her and smiled, I just realized I don't know what ice cream flavour she likes. "Ice creams are nice and all but it's fattening. Can you get me a bottled water, please?" Well, turns out I actually didn't have to know. I got her bottled water and got myself a cup of ice cream, strawberry flavour with peppermint chocolate sprinkles. Yes, Jinwoo's favorite ice cream. I took a spoonful, not minding the freezing sensation it brought inside my mouth. I closed my eyes, savouring the feeling, remembering how Jinwoo's lips taste like. "Looks like you really love ice cream." Chaerin was looking at me amusingly. I sighed. I shouldn't be doing this to her. I can't make the same mistake. "Chaerin, let's go back home and get you cleaned up." I grinned at her maliciously. She got my hint and nodded excitedly while biting her lower lip. I have to make me and her work. I can't possibly break two people's heart. I cannot do that.

It's 8 in the evening and Chaerin just walked out of our apartment to go clubbing with her friends, as usual. She invited me but I told her I have stuffs to do. In reality, I just didn't want to go. After spending a year with Jinwoo, I learnt to forgo that lifestyle. Looking around I decided to do a little rearranginng. This bedroom needs a new look, maybe I can erase any trace of him yet and finally move on. I scorned at myself. Yeah right, move on, like I'm the victim here.

I started moving furnitures. I carried the bean bag cushion from the balcony and brought it in one corner of the room. It's not needed outside any more anyway. I pushed the bed in the middle with it's headrest on the wall. Unlike Jinwoo, Chaerin doesn't fall off the bed while sleeping so it doesn't need to be at the corner. I took out the purple round carpet and put it in a garbage bag. Jinwoo liked its colour because he said it represents passion, but I don't need that too. I peeled off rilakkuma stickers on the closet door, Jinwoo said they're cute and Chaerin also liked them but I don't, so it needs to go. I saw our pillow and blankets lying innocently on our bed. We just have one big- bolster as pillow and a comforter. Jinwoo said it's easier to cuddle when we're sharing a pillow. We use our comforter to wrap around us everytime we stargaze. Those, needs to go too. I peeled the comforter and tried to fold it. Why is the damn thing so hard to fold? Getting me frustrated. I realized every corner of this room holds Jinwoo's memories. His feet walked on every inch of the floor, his hands graced every surface. I tried to run from it, but each place I go, it reminds me of him. I might as well burn the whole house, dammit! I trashed around the ing bolster in resentment. In the process, it toppled down the side table, it's drawer slid out and scattered the stuffs in it on the floor. ! I cursed. Jinwoo's been long gone in my life. Why now? It's finally sinking it, isn't it? My mind answered.

It all started that one evening when I saw him again at the restaurant. Now, I can't get my mind off him. I'm not sure if it's guilt or discontentment in my current life right now. One thing I know, I missed him. I bent down to retrieve all the scattered things from the floor. There were pens, hair clips, condoms, Chaerin's pills and a small box. A small box? I picked it up. Curious, this is the first time I've seen this box, This must've been hidden at the farthest part inside the drawer for me not to notice it sooner. I scrutinized the box making sure to check all sides and angles. At the bottom I saw a mark -M x J-. I swallowed hard. I have a feeling about this. Slowly I opened it and found a silver couple ring inside, it's very plain and simple yet elegant. I picked one up and saw the date of our anniversary engraved on its inside. Jinwoo and me, our anniversary. No doubt, this must've been his anniversary present. My heart started pounding painfully in my chest. There was a small folded paper tucked in at the box's cover. Just as soon as I started reading the words, my eyes gave in at the amount of torment my heart is feeling. They were words full of love but instead it brought me unmeasurable pain, cutting me with no mercy. They are Jinwoo's words.

Mino-yah, Happy Anniversary! I have never thought we'd come this far, having to celebrate our anniversary. I'm really happy and thankful to have you in my life. I believe we have come a long way but we have a longer way to go. I wanna be by your side forever and grow old with you. I love you. - your Jinwoo.

What have I done? That day, I recalled him saying, no, begging me to stay by his side and yet I pushed him away. Now, he's really gone. I cried and screamed and started throwing things around. I am so angry at myself. How can I make him suffer like that? After there's nothing left for me to trash, I slumped back on the floor crippled, my heart is paralyzed. I have brought this upon myself. I don't know what to feel anymore. I wanna blame it on Jinwoo. If only he hadn't trust me that much, if only he questioned me everytime I go out. It could've been prevented.  It was all your fault Jinwoo-yah. I am going mad.

After some time, Chaerin came back home and saw all the mess I created. She found me still sitting on the floor, my back resting on the side of the bed. "Oh my god! Mino, are you okay?" She knelt down in front of me and cupped my face. I just looked at her emotionless. "Are you drunk?" she asked, after making sure I'm not hurt. I pulled my face away from her hands and steady my gaze on the floor. I didn't even drink any form of liquid, let alone liquor. "Mino, what happened?" I slowly turned to face her again.

"You." I answered almost inaudibly.

"What?" Confusion depicted on her face

"You. You, happened Chaerin." I made sure she'll hear it well.

"I don't really get where you are going with this, Mino." There's clearly a hint of annoyance on her voice.

"Everything was perfect. My life was perfect. We were perfect. Then you came along and ruined everything." I glared at her raising my voice.

"What the are you talking about? Who's we? Are you seeing someone else?" Of course Chaerin didn't backed down.

I grabbed both of her shoulders and started shaking her hard. "If you hadn't come, things could've stayed just the way it was." She tried hard to shake me off asking me to let her go, but I'm not done yet. "I would still be happy. We will still be happy." When she finally managed to get out from my grip, she slapped me so hard I thought I might need a plastic surgery after this. But that brought me back to my senses. And with my senses came in the reality of my heartche. Could I have a heart surgery to heal me? Chaerin's slap is only but a flick of a finger compared to the torture I'm feeling deep down. This is too much, I can't take it.

"What is ing wrong with you? Bastard!" I heard her shout before grabbing her purse and walked away, leaving me once again to drown in my own misery.

As expected, we broke up and she moved out of my place. I didn't even bother chasing her. Just like how easily she came back to my life, she disappeared just as fast. This is what I deserve, to be left alone, unhappy.

I just came from a bar to have a drink and already on my way home when the heaven decided that I needed to suffer more. I saw him went out from a convenient store. Without giving a thought, I followed him as he walks oblivious of my presence not far behind. When he turned to a street on his left, I hurried my steps and saw him entering an apartment building. I guess this is where he lives now.  Not long, he opened the window from the 2nd floor. I felt a bit light seeing him inhale the night air smiling. I went back home feeling slightly elated.

From then on, I'll visit his place to check on him and just see how he was doing. Somehow it gives me a reason to hope. What exactly I'm hoping for? I don't know. On the 5th night I was surprised to see him coming home with that guy. Their hands entwined and their bodies pressed closely with each other. I walked closer to hear them, making sure not to be seen. They are now standing infront of Jinwoo's apartment building facing each other.

"Hey, can I spend the night here?" I heard the Hoonie guy said while holding both of Jinwoo's hands. I prayed to all the saints in every religion for Jinwoo not to agree. I heard him chuckle, "Of course you silly, I've been asking you to move in but you always reject me." and he pouted. Have I mentioned the heaven decided to punish me more? The guy laughed and pinched his left cheek, "I'm not rejecting you, I just want to give you time until you're ready to accept me wholely." Jinwoo nods his head and hugged the guy. They entered Jinwoo's apartment together. I waited, but the lights remained off that night.

I took a vacation from work which later proved to be a bad decision. The next succeeding days were all a blurr as all I ever do was follow Jinwoo around. I became his full time stalker. Most of the time he will be with Seunghoon, I learnt his real name, only jinwoo will call him Hoonie. Nevertheless, I noted all the regular places he goes to, the coffee shop, the convenient store, the restaurants, the shopping mall and the park. Almost every night I'll find him in the park. I guess he started going back there. He will just sit down on a bench quietly while sipping his coffee until that Seunghoon guy fetch him. I spent my entire vacation just to be in the shadows of Kim Jinwoo. I feel a slight flush of joy whenever I see him.

Even right after I came back to work, I will go straight to the park to wait for him there, following him home before going home myself. Sometimes he won't show up, but most of the time he will. This has became a habit I became addicted to, I don't care about Seunghoon consistently showing up anymore, whether they're together or not doesn't bother me, as long as I see Jinwoo, my world will be focus on him.

Christmas eve, I thought maybe he won't show up, it's Christmas afterall, but I won't be fully satisfied until I gave myself a time to go there and maybe wait for him for awhile. When I reached the park he was already on his usual spot sipping his coffee. He's early tonight. I watched him from a distance like how I do many nights before.

"Beautiful isn't he?" I heard a manly voice before Seunghoon materializes beside me. I didn't give him a glance as I don't want to peel my eyes on Jinwoo. "Yeah," I replied. Both our eyes casted on the beauty that is the center of our topic.

"We weren't planning to meet here tonight. I just thought I might give you a little present for Christmas so I asked him to wait for me here before going to a friend's Christmas eve dinner." he explained.

"I guess I have to thank you then." I retorted.

"I know you've been following Jinwoo around. I'm an observant person, Mino-ssi." He turned to face me and I did the same. "Can you give me a present in return?" I frowned, confuse. "Tonight, I will give Jinwoo a present too, I'm not sure whether he'll accept it or not, but regardless, can you please let him go? He's happy now, give us both a present by totally letting him go. Don't bother him anymore." Seunghoon continued. I saw Jinwoo throwing his cup in the rubbish bin then pressing on his phone. Not long, I heard vibrations coming from Seunghoons pocket. Jinwoo's calling him.

I faced Seunghoon again. "So, this is the present you're asking from me? I'm sorry Seunghoon-ssi, I think only Jinwoo has the right to tell me that. And if my memory serves me well, he haven't told me to leave him alone before." I admit I was being a jerk, but seeing Jinwoo had already became my life motivation. Just looking at him, observing him from afar, will that also be taken away from me?

"Okay, then let's make Jinwoo decide." He left and walked slowly to where Jinwoo is. I watched intently and witnessed everything unfolded before my eyes. Jinwoo gave Seunghoon a wide smile the moment he saw him approaching and kept his phone in his pocket. A few seconds, then I saw Jinwoo's sudden change of expression. He covered his gaping mouth with both his hands with his eyes wide in shock. In front of him Seunghoon knelt down on one knee, head bowed down with two outstretched arms holding a golden ring. He's proposing. The motherfcker proposed.

Jinwoo sobs uncontrollably, he was crying, hands still on his mouth. I closed my eyes and counted 10.. 9.. 8.. 7.. 6.. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1.. Then, I opened my eyes...

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Oops, that's it for now lol, The next chapter will be the last one, so do you want Jinwoo to reject Hoonie and gave Mino a chance? or just be happy with Hoonie? What do you want to happen to Mino then? hahaha T___T I'm gonna go crazy too. Please tell me your opinions at the comments. Thank you so much for giving time to support and read this fic! Sorry for those who got hurt, lmao!

love lots, D.for.V