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I needed my freedom. That's what I thought. I was so convince in my mind that this would be the best thing to do, for both of us. I guess I was wrong. We used to be bestfriends, even more than that. We do everything all the time. People around us would always say, we are a package, like buy one - take one, one can't go without the other. And I've loved those times. We eat, dance, laugh, cry together. Damn! If it was possible to even make our hearts beat at the same time we could've done that. But out of all those things we enjoyed doing together, our favorite thing is to stargaze from our balcony after making love. Yes, we make love not just . It's not just because the stars or the moon looks pretty at night. It's because even if the night sky looks dull or gloomy it would always be beautiful when we're next to each other. All those nights were beautiful. He is beautiful. Our love was beautiful.

We were happy. Then one day, I feel like I'm no longer am.

It started one chilly winter night when I was on my way home after buying groceries to cook for dinner. I bumped to my ex-girlfriend Chaerin. She's still as gorgeous as I last remembered. We said our greetings and somehow ended catching up over coffee. Jinwoo wouldn't mind, he will understand. We exchange our contacts after 3 hour long chat. When I reached home it was already 9.30 in the evening, way too late to make dinner. So I went straight to the kitchen to keep my groceries when I found him sleeping with his head on the dining table. I woke him up with a gentle nudge. "Mino, you're home. What time is it now? I am so hungry. Let's eat." I heard him say. "Why did you wait for me? You should've taken your dinner first." Knowing Jinwoo, I'm not surprise at all to find him hungry waiting for me, but still. "We always eat together." He dismissed and rummaged the plastic of groceries I placed on the table. "Oh you bought instant ramen, I'll just cook this instead." I didnt protest and just let him do what he pleases. If there's one thing that anyone must know about Jinwoo is that he'll always find a way to get what he wants. And by a 'way' I mean giving you his doe puppy eyes which no one who has a soul on earth can ressist.

Later that night we once again stayed in the balcony to watch the night sky. I was cuddling him on my lap while we both wrap ourselves with our thick comforter to keep oursleves warm, it's a chilly night after all and we're both - underneath this sheet. Jinwoo didn't ask why I came home late or where I've been to. Jinwoo never ask, ever. I guess he trusted me that much. His trust, I loved and hated it.

It's already 2 in the morning but I still can't sleep. Not because of Jinwoo's loud snoring, I have gotten used to it by this time. I was actually thinking of Chaerin, not in a erted way though. I learnt that she finished her studies in the US as a designer and just got back in Seoul 2 months ago to start her own boutique. I was genuinely happy for her. This is her dream. You see, the reason we broke up two years ago was because she wanted to pursue this career and study overseas. I didn't want to be a hindrance in anyway so we both agreed to separate ways. Seeing her successful, I believe that I made the right decision back then and I couldn't be anymore proud.

I look at Jinwoo's sleeping form. I wonder what will she say about him. Well, she did ask if I have a girlfriend which I answered truthfully. I don't have a girlfriend, that's the truth. At this moment I have him, and he's far from being a girlfriend but I'm happy. I was.

One week later, I received a text message from her inviting me for her boutique's opening the following day. I replied and said I'd come. I was in the middle of shopping together with Jinwoo, I could've told him about it but I didn't. The next day, I showed up in Chaerin's boutique and congratulated her. I didn't know why or how but I just found my self visiting her shop almost everyday. After awhile we started to regularly text each other. There are times I'll make excuses to Jinwoo, like I have stuffs to do or to finish at work so I won't be able to go home early. All those times I'm probably having dinner with Chaerin. I felt fresh when I'm with her. It's like having freedom while completely bound to someone and I liked it.

Jinwoo learnt not to wait for me at dinner. Later on, he learnt not to wait for me before he sleeps. Going out with Chaerin almost every night became a habit. One Saturday morning, I was having breakfast with him. I couldn't concentrate on my food as I was texting with Chaerin about how she had diarrhea last night after having a seafood dinner. I was chuckling at her cute rantings on not to eat at that restaurant again. "Who's that?" I looked up from my phone to see Jinwoo concentrating on his food before he puts down his fork and look at me straight in the eye. Jinwoo never ask, but this time he did. "It's my colleague, ranting about his mishap at work." I lied. You see I never lie to him, ever. Until now.

He gave me a smile before saying, "Okay!" He goes back to finishing his food after reminding me to come home early tonight. His trust never wavers, I actually hope it did. Maybe this wouldn't have happened.

I looked at my watch and it was already around 7.30PM, me and Chaerin went to her shop after going out to watch a movie. "Mino, Are you in a hurry?" She eyed me as she put some documents in her bag. "No, it's fine. Just take your time." It should be fine, Jinwoo won't possibly get mad if I'll be late for awhile. I don't know why he wanted me to go home early, I'm sure he'll tell me if it's something important. Plus, he can eat dinner by himself anyway. My train of thoughts were halted when Chaerin suddenly dragged me to her shop's fitting room. It was quite spacious with a wide mirror fixed on a wall. She hugged me tight and started sobbing. "Mino, I know you must've been hurt when I left two years ago but I can feel that I am still special to you. And you still are to me. Can we start all over again?" She hugged me tighter as if her life depends on it. "Chaerin-ah..." I trailed off not sure what to say. Before I open my mouth again I felt her lips on mine and her hands cupping both my cheeks. I was shocked but I didn't protest. Instead, I s my arms  around her waist and press my hardening member in between her legs. Soon our kisses became needy. I her tongue hard that she willingly offered to me. It's been this long since I made love with a girl and just the thought of it turns me on big time. I stripped off her dress in one swift move leaving her on her undies. I didn't waste anytime as I cupped her s and pulled down her bra to her waist, revealing her bouncy peaks. She moans continously as my mouth abuse her s. She pulled me up once again for a kiss and this time her hands started working. I quickly took off my jacket as she unbuckles my belt without breaking our kiss. I kicked my pants to only-god-knows-where leaving me with just my white tees and boxers. Of course, our 'fitting room escapade' didn't just end there. We had until dawn, trying every possible position there is. It was mind blowing.

It was already 6.30 in the morning when I reached our apartment. "I'm spent, you're such a beast." I read Chaerin's text and sent a quick reply "Take a rest," before I entered. I looked around and saw heart-shaped balloons floating on the ceiling, there were melted candles on the center table in our living room beside a bottle of wine and a cake. Then it hit me. He asked me to come home early last night to celebrate our 1st year anniversary. Wow, I'm such an . I walked towards the cake and read the message on it. "Happy Anniversary, may our love endures forever." Pssh, that was too cheesy.

"Mino, what time did you got back? I'm sorry I slept and didn't notice when you got home." I spun around when I heard his voice. His eyes are puffy, he must've been crying last night. Well, he has the very reason to cry. I just look at him and didn't utter a word. He bowed and took a deep sigh before moving towards me and giving me a quick peck. "Happy Anniversary, Mino-yah." He said somberly and quickly went to the center table. "Well, It's already pass our anniversary but we can't just waste this cake." His voice was shaky. "Jinwoo, aren't you going to ask anything?" I questioned him. "Especially this wine, gosh this is expensive, let's have this with our breakfast." He's deliberately ignoring me. And this really pisses me off. "Dammit Jinwoo!" I shouted. He frozed. We had our fights before but I've never raised my voice on him.

"What do you want me to say, Mino?" he asked without giving me a glance, frozen on his spot.

", Jinwoo! I didn't show up last night. Aren't you even curious where I went? Who I was with? What I was doing? To tell you the truth I actually forgot our goddamn anniversary!" I saw him slowly turned to look at me, still kneeling down in front of the cake. My heart squeezed a bit at the sight of him trying to hold his tears but miserably failing.

"Okay. Let's start with 'truth'. Do you think I'm that naive to not notice that I am not your truth anymore? And what you are to me is steadily becoming a lie." I stood there watching him slowly strode towards me as his tears trail red marks on his pale beautiful face. "The truth, I know it all Mino. I check your phone while you sleep whenever you come back late at night and see your exchange of messages with your ex." He stopped a few inches away from my face. I'm guilty. I diverted my gaze to anything else but him. How can I possibly look at him straight in the eye?

I clenched my jaw for reasons I'm not sure about, probably trying to up the guilt I'm feeling right now. "Since when?" I asked.

"Since you started going home late."

"Ha, and here I am thinking you're not the type to be nosy. Why you didn't say anything?" I looked at him squarely in the eyes. I've gone this far as a jerk anyway.

His next moves didn't surprise me one bit. He embraced me tight, clinging for his dear life. "I don't want to lose you Mino-yah." His shoulders shook as his cries became more intense. My arms hangs motionless at my side. This is exactly how I picture his reactions will be. And it annoys me. Pushing him slightly away, "Jinwoo, are you ing kidding me? Will you just let everything slide blindly and still say you want me?" I saw the hurt in his eyes but he still came back to cling at me. "I love you, Mino. I don't care if you're seeing someone else. Please don't leave. Just stay by my side." He cries, begging. This time I pushed him away roughly. His smaller frame easily fell over, toppling down the bottle of wine from the center table in the process. It shattered into pieces on the floor, as Jinwoo supported himself up, he accidentally pressed his hand on a piece of glass and cut himself.

"You don't care?! You're telling me you don't care while I somone else?! Yes, Jinwoo. I didn't went home last night because I was ing Chaerin senseless all night long. That's how I spent our anniversary night. Now you tell me if you don't care." I was furious, him just easily accepting everything is making me angry. I don't know why, but it infuriates me.

I saw his famous doe puppy eyes that can't be ressist by someone with a soul. It painted so much hurt in them that I immediately looked away. Jinwoo will always get what he wants using his puppy eyes, but this time he won't. I guess I have no soul anymore. I looked at him again motionless, his gazed casted on the floor. His right hand lies on his lap, blood continously flowing from his deep cut. He didn't say anything.

I'm not sure how long I've been staring at Jinwoo's seemingly lifeless form until my phone rang. It's Chaerin. I answered the call without peeling my eyes on him. "Chaerin-ah, why did you call? It's still early you have to rest." I paused to listen to her reply. Jinwoo, didn't move an inch. I know that he can hear me, but he didn't even flinch a muscle. "Okay, give me your home address, I can come there now." The call ended and Jinwoo's still frozen on his spot though his tears never ceased. His shirt and pants were already soaked with blood but looks like he's not planning to take care of it anytime soon, so I just let him be.

"I'm going," were my last words before I marched out of our apartment living a blood-soaked sobbing, Jinwoo. This should be okay, I'd rather let him hurt like this and move on than me cheating on him for a long time. This should be better. That's what I thought, and I was  fool to believe that.

It indeed turned out to be the last words I'd ever tell Jinwoo. I came back later that day to find our place empty. The cake and balloons are gone. All the mess in the living room are tidied up. I checked the toilet, his toiletress were gone. I checked his closet, His clothes were gone. All our pictures together that were displayed around the house were gone. Jinwoo's gone. He left no trace of 'us', he took everything with him. It's as if Jinwoo was just part of a dream. I sat at the sofa looking up the ceiling. This is what I wanted, right? Questioning myself.

Not long, Chaerin moved in. She's one fine woman. Wild and vibrant. She's confident and independent, too independent. She'll do everything by herself. Sleeps when she's sleepy. Eats when she's hungry. She'll go out and party a lot. I used to accompany her at first so I got to know her circle and meet our old friends, but her lifestyle is totally different from mine. So it didn't took long before my feelings for her starts to waver. Sometimes I question myself, do ever really have feelings for her.

There are times when I go back home and find no one to welcome me as she's busy working in her boutique or partying with her friends on the weekends. Whenever she's home she'll eat and sleep first most of the time, complaining she's tired. This is my life with Chaerin, but I can't complain because I chose her.

One miraculous night, Chaerin was free so we went out for dinner. We were having casual conversation while having our food when I heard a familiar laugh. I paused for awhile to listen, there's nothing, so I resumed eating. After awhile, it came again. This time I heard it loud and clear. I am not mistaken, that is his laugh. Only Jinwoo have that distinct kind of laugh. I looked around to see where he could be. Then I found him. He's seated with a guy a few table away directly in front of me.

It's been 7 months since I last saw him. He dyed his hair black from hazel brown. It suits him well. Actually, he looks good on anything, no scratch that, he looks good on everything. He's been laughing nonstop and this is the 4th time he gave the other guy his infamous shoulder slap from when I saw him. He does that whenever he's laughing. I can't help but smile seeing him happy. I've scarred him bad before, now he's happy, he deserves to be happy.

"Yah!" Chaerin snapped her fingers on my face that brought back my attention. "Do you see someone you know? You've been in a dazed and smiling creepily for quite awhile."

"I'm sorry, I just remembered something funny from a show I watched last night." Chaerin seemed satisfied with my answer because she didn't pressed on.

I looked up and saw Jinwoo and the other guy getting ready to leave. The guy was really tall and slim. He looks like a model. "Hoonie, let's go to the park before we go home." I heard Jinwoo said to which the other guy agreed instantly. He used his old trick, doe puppy eyes, ofcourse the guy have to agree. What didn't escaped my eyes is how they entwined their fingers as they hold hands towards the exit of the restaurant. Strangely though, somehow this dessert taste bitter.

Later that night, after a steamy hot , I went out in the balcony. I asked Chaerin to sit with me and watch the night sky, she said that's too boring and she'd rather sleep. So I ended up stargazing alone. Suddenly, an unexplainable feeling washed over me, I felt really lonely. I missed him.

The following night, I got home tired from work. Chaerin's having dinner by herself while watching some drama in the living room. I checked the kitchen for food but there was none. "Hey, didn't you left any food for me?" No answer. She kept her concentration on what ever she's watching. I marched in the living room and turned off that damn TV. "Yah! Chaerin, I asked you if there's still any food." She glared at me before answering back. "When I'm hungry I make my own food. So why don't you just make your own food rather than you keep asking me. I am not your helper." She snapped before taking the remote control and concentrate back on her dramas. I took a fistful of my hair out of frustration before marching out the house.

I went to a convenient store and bought whatever edible things I get my hands on. I walked to a nearby park to find myself a place to sit and eat peacefully. And as if fate was playing pranks on me, there again I saw him. He's sitting on one of the benches near a lamp post so I can see him clearly. He's sipping coffee alone. I found a good spot where I can't be easily seen. For about 15 minutes I just observed him drinking his coffee and checking his phone from time to time.

I was about to take a gulp from my beer can when I missed my mouth and the beer spilled on my shirt. I cursed loud enough for Jinwoo to stand and look at my direction. I met his eyes, his deep-pained eyes.

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Author: How was it so far? I want to write an angst minwoo because that seems to be the trend lately with JinHoon lol.. but I feel like this wasn't angst enough. So what do you guys think? Please let me know so I can try to improve my writing ><

love lots, D_for_V