“I think I forget to bring secondary tape. I can’t find it anywhere in my bag.” I dig in every corner in my bag and just like my thought, I didn’t bring extra tape. How fool I am.

“How many minutes remaining in that tape?” Hoseok Hyung seems really worried. This day is really important for him, and I screw it up.

“Around two minutes. I’m sorry, I ruin it all.” My tears start to fall. I’ve agreed to take responsibility for this filming, but I make him dissappointed.

“I think I saw a camera shop across this road before. I’ll see if we can get a tape there.” Jimin suggests to buy a new tape nearby.

“I’m going with you. It’s my fault afterall.”

“No, Taehyung-ah. It’s faster if I’m going by myself.” He stands up and runs outside that coffee shop. I don’t feel it right, I don’t want him to go.

“No, Jimin-ah, come back here.” I try to scream but my voice locked up in my throat.

Jimin looked at me and smiled. Then a bright white light strike my eyes and make me blind. I can’t see anything, but I hear something. A tire breaking and loud crashing sound . . . . . . . . .

I open my eyes in shock. The coffee shop become a familiar room. Isn’t it Hoseok Hyung’s room? I glance to my left and I see Hoseok Hyung sleeps peacefully. I can feel entire of my body covered by sweat flood.

“It’s that dream again.” I whisper to myself.

I wake up from bed and walk towards kitchen to have some water. With a glass of water in my hand I sit in Hoseok Hyung’s livingroom for a moment to dry my shirt. As expected from a performer like him, his apartement quite luxurious. The red sofa I sat right now was a limited edition from famous interior designer. There’s a really huge window in this livingroom, and seriously that’s my favourite part from this apartement. Even though the lights weren’t , the flooding moonlight keeps the entire room bright beautifully.

“Here you are.” Hoseok Hyung suddenly wrapped up his hands onto my waist from my back. He still seems sleepy.

“Why do you wake up, Hyung?” I patted his hand softly and he rubbed his cheek to my face.

“You suddenly dissapear. I thought you leave me.” He hugs me tightly. We keep that position for a moment until Hoseok Hyung opens up his eyes. “I never know if this room can be this beautiful.”

“The moonlight’s really beautiful right?” we look at the fullmoon on the sky. It’s supermoon today, so the moon looks really big as if it’ll fall and destroy this earth.

“Yeah, it’s really beautiful, just like you.” He turns my face towards him and kisses me lightly. “Do you really have to go?”

I nod my head, “Yeah. I’ve wait to do my own photography exhibition. But don’t worry, it’s just for 3 days. I’ll text you everytime you want me to.” I give him my best smile.

He grab the side of my face with both of his hands and look deeply into my eyes. His eyes says if he really don’t want me to go. “I... I’ll really missing you.”

I let his hand go and grab it tight, “Hey, do you know why I really like starring into the night sky?”

He stare at me confusely, “I don’t know. I think it’s just your interest for your photography theme.”

I smile at him, “When I was in kindergarten, our school went to a big library for tour. I ended up in astronomy corner and onto every book there. Since then I always talked about space and my friends called me alien. They said if I came from the moon, and I believe in that until I’m in 5^th grade.” I take a deep sigh, “But I’ve falling in love with space, and only in the night I can see it all. When the moon and the stars greet me, I feel like I’m really home. Maybe my friends right, I came from the moon.”

“That sounds riddiculous.” He look down and smiles a bit after hearing my nonsense story.

“Hyung...” I call him so that he looks at my eyes again, “...when you miss me, just look at the moon. That’ll connect our heart, because the moon is me.”

“Spaghetti, check. Beef, check. Wine, check. Cake, check. Jung Hoseok, oh, he hasn’t come yet.” I’ve been busy in Hoseok Hyung’s apartement from 5 hours ago. Today is our 2^nd anniversary, so I came secretly, cleaned the entire house, cooked and prepared for small party. But my boyfriend is Jung Hoseok, or people more know him as J-Hope, a top class performer and song writer who become nation’s 1^st place as a man who women (and men) wants. And I don’t want to remember how his fans reaction when they know if he dated a mere newcomer photographer like me, V, that’s people call me. Of course his schedule is really packed, but he’ll come home today right?

Suddenly my phone rings, I hope that my Jung Hoseok. “Hello.”

“Hello, my darling V. I miss you.” That’s voice I want to hear.

“Ne, Hyung. I miss you too.” Really, it’ve been 2 weeks since I hear his voice through phone.

“Where are you?”

“I’m at my studio. Why?” I tell him some lie because I want to surprise him when he come home.

“Really? I’ve near my apartement now. Should I pick you up? I want to meet you.” He sounds dissapointed.

“No, Hyung. Just go home now. I’ve finish everything and I’ll go to your apartement right away.” I try to make my voice as natural as possible. Yeah, I’m quite good at this. Maybe I should enroll for a role in drama?

“Alright. I’ll wait you at home. I love you, Taehyung-ah.” He hang up after I say that I love him too. Okay, the preparation has done, I should turn off the lights now.

I’m hiding behind the main door and wait him patienly. For about 20 minutes later I can hear the sound of his boots approacing. When he inputs the password my heart beating faster. Finally he opens the door and searchs for the light switch. I’m aproaching him and when he turns the lights on, I pull the cracker behind him.

“Happy 2^nd Anniversary, Hyung.” I give him the usual bright smile that he likes. My heart shape smile and adoring eyesmile.

He still shocked but at same time feel touched. He only laughs and pulls me near him, then hugs me tight. “This fool. You lie to me again, huh?”

“I’m sorry, Hyung. I want to give you surprise.”

“I have to give you punishment.” He suddenly kisses me and that makes me blanks for a second. But then I feel his passion and start to enjoy the kiss. I wrap my arms on his neck and he hugs my waist. A few seconds later I ran out of breath and try to end the kiss. But Hoseok Hyung’s right hand grabs the back of my head and kisses me again. His warm and soft lips crush my lips and sometimes he bites my lower lip. I don’t know why Hoseok Hyung becomes like this, but I have to end this kiss. Once again I try to separate my lips from his.

“Hyung...” my breathing’s panting, “...should we have the dinner now?”

His eyes piercing to me and make me avoid eye contact with him. His hand touches my cheek and I can feel his panting breath, “I only want you right now.”

He really know my weakness, but I have to take the control of this situation. “No. We should eat the dinner first. You don’t want to taste my cooking?”

Finally he gives up and kisses my forehead lightly. “Alright. I’ll fill my stomach first with your cooking. After that I’ll eat you up.” He my hair and grabs my hand to the dinningroom.

I’m washing up the dish after dinner when Hoseok Hyung hugs me from back. He whispers softly to me, “Hey, Chagi.”

“Ne, Hyung?” I keep on washing dishes.

“You know if I love you, right?” he rests his chin on my shoulder.

“Ne, I love you too, Hyung.” I just give him my plain answer.

“Then...” he seems hesitating, “...do you still want to call me ‘Hyung’?”

I don’t know what he’ll bring into this conversation, but I still try to calm. “Why, you don’t like that?”

“No, I mean... we’ve dated for two years. We know if we love each other and very passionate on it. But, only me use the nickname ‘Chagi-ya’ here. It’ve been two years and you still call me ‘Hyung’. It sounds... awkward...” he let out all of his words slowly, worried if they hurt my feelings.

“I think there’s no problem by calling you ‘Hyung’. I mean... just take that as your nickname.” Of course I want to call him ‘Chagi’, but I can’t.

He turns my body to face him. His eyes become really serious, “Do you only love me as your hyung? Not as a man?”

That brown coloued iris that I really love piercing me deep. I never imagine he would look at me with that eyes just like this day. I want to express all my love to him and call him ‘Chagi’. But I have a line that I shouldn’t cross and still call him ‘Hyung’. I never know if that really bothers him.

“I... I really love you, Hyung. You should know that. And, you’re my precious hyung, I don’t want it to change. I mean... I love you, as a man, but I want to call you ‘Hyung’.” I can’t find proper answer and I think that makes him a little upset.

“Fine.” He turns his back towards me, “If it was Jimin it’ll be different.”

My head feel like just been strike by a thunder. I never know hearing Jimin’s name would be this painful. Why does he suddenly bring Jimin’s name after 2 years?

“Of course, it’ll be really different if it was Jimin.” I don’t know if he can hear my voice because my throat feel like chocked. I take off my apron and start to pack my things. Hoseok Hyung seems realize that he has said something wrong and quickly apologize to me.

“I’m sorry, Taehyung-ah. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I... I didn’t think of what I’ve said. I’m sorry.” He tries to make me stay there, but I don’t want to. I need time to be alone and think about everything. I have to arrange my feelings back.

“I want to go home. I’m sorry, Hyung.” I let his hand go and leave his house immediately.

I’m ended up on a hill I used to come whenever I’m feeling down. There was my favourite spot for stargazing because its really far away from town and that makes the moon and stars look better. It’s like second home for me, I can spend up a night here without tent and sleeping bag and that’ll make me catch cold on the next day. I’m looking at the moon, crying my lungs out. I let out my tears until its last drop, but seems I can’t stop crying for now.

“Why do you leave us, Jimin-ah? Its really better when you’re around.” I fold my legs and wrap it up with my arms. The weather suddenly become really cold, too cold in the middle of autumn.

“Do you want to bring him back?”

Suddenly a red haired man stands behind me. He wear a long black coat as if it’s in the middle of winter. His skin’s really fair and his small eyes makes him looks really cute, but he has a dull expression. I can’t get what he’s trying to say.

“Who... who are you?” I start with first sentence that cross in my mind.

“I’m Suga.” He doesn’t change his expression even a bit, “I’m a Grim Reaper.”

“You must be kidding.” What’s wrong with this guy. Am I looks that stupid so he can fool me like that?

“I know it’s hard to believe. How if we talk about Park Jimin who died on December 14^th at 3.15 pm because of car accident when he went to buy secondary tape you forgot to bring?” finally he puts on smile on his face, but it’s a scary smile.

I’m taken aback with his words. No one knows if Jimin died because of he wanted to buy a secondary tape. The news only mentioned it as an accident without further details. My doubt on him started to reduce a little.

“So... you really can bring him back?” I gather my courage to ask him, but still I’m not that sure.

“I can.” He lost his expression again. “But you must pay for that.”

“What do you mean?” I become really confused.

“Death is one of nature cycle. We must keep the cycle so that this world still in balance. If you want to bring back the death, you must pay something for exchange to keep it balance. You know what I mean? An another death.”

“Another death? Is that means I have to kill someone?” my voice shaked out of fear.

“You can do that, but I hope you have another choice. I know you aren’t a person who can kill someone easily. So you have to made a wise decicion for the payment.” He try to clear my worry with his plain voice. It’s scary, but suprisingly it works.

“I think...” I’m hesitating, “...I’ll take your offer.”

“Taehyung-ah!” I can hear Hoseok Hyung calling me from afar. He runs towards me with a pale worried face. “I know if you’ll be here. I can’t find you anywhere.”

When I look back at Suga, he hasn’t been there. Then Hoseok Hyung pulls me and hugs me tight. I can hear he’s crying.

“I’m sorry, Taehyung-ah. I love you, really. Please don’t leave me. Please always be by my side.”

Taehyung-ah, wake up.

I can hear a familiar voice waking me up. A voice that I didn’t hear for 2 years.

Taehyung-ah, wake up now or else we’ll be late.

That voice still lingering around my ears. I think it’s a dream again.

“Yah! Kim Taehyung!” When that voice becomes really clear I abruptly open my eyes. “You finally wake up, huh, sleepy head?”

I can’t believe what I see this morning. That short figure with his cute eyesmile, black shiny hair, and y muscle as his reverse charm. I can’t believe I’ll be able to see that figure stands in my room again like this. “Jimin-ah!” I hug him tightly in case he’ll dissapear again.

“Yah! Why are you crying? Don’t hug me like this, I can’t breath!” I can’t hear anything he’s saying and keep crying on his shoulder.

“I miss you, Jimin-ah. I think I’ll never see you again.” He stops struggling, pats my head, and smiles. Suddenly his phone rings, it’s from Hoseok Hyung.

“Wait a minute, Hobi Hyung’s calling.” He take off my hug from him, “Hello.”

I can hear Hoseok Hyung talks to him in a worried tone, then Jimin laughs and calms him down. “Ne, Chagi. He’s just wake up. Don’t worry, he’ll make a beautiful video of our moments today. I’ll come to your house first and let Taehyung preparing his stuff. Ne, I love you, Chagi.” He hung up. “Then, Taehyung-ah. I’ll go first. Make sure you don’t forget anything, okay? See you at the park.” after patting my head Jimin walks towards door and leave me who still dazed off behind.

I check the date on my phone, it’s December 14^th, 7.00 am. I come back at that day two years ago, the day Jimin leaves me and Hoseok Hyung forever. I think it’s a dream, but then I pinch my cheek and it hurts! “I’m not dreaming.”

After washing up and dressing myself, I start to pack my stuff on my bag. A handycam, two secondary tapes, and two secondary batteries. Today is the day we filming about Jimin and Hoseok Hyung’s happy moment. That video will be revealed on their engaging party at January next year. Jimin is Hoseok Hyung’s partner in their trio group with my cousin, Kim Seokjin. They’ve dated secretly for a year. At that party they plan to make an announcement about their relationship.

I’m looking at the two secondary tape in my bag, thinking about what has happened ‘today’. “If only I didn’t forget to bring them, I’ll never make Hoseok Hyung becomes like that.”

Hoseok Hyung is my senior in high school and a bestfriiend of my cousin, so I’ve became really close with him too. I’m falling in love with him when I’m on my second year at school and he’s on his third year. I have no courage to confess to him because he’s so popular. Then I met with Jimin at university and with my alien personality he became my only friend. Jimin met Seokjin Hyung and Hoseok Hyung when they attended same music class and decided to make a trio. They debuted not long after that and became really successful. Actually Seokjin Hyung likes Jimin too, but after Jimin dated Hoseok Hyung he gave up and went overseas to continue his study. Only me that still trapped here with my feeling. It’s hurt, really, but I can’t make Hoseok Hyung falls into despair anymore.

“I’ll never let you cry anymore. Never.”

That coffee shop become our last spot for this filming. I didn’t forget my secondary tape so we finish that day’s filming cleanly without any accident. No one had to run outside this coffee shop, no one had to cross the road, no one had to die.

“Thank you very much, Taehyung-ah. I’m sure this video will be awesome.” Hoseok Hyung thanks me with all of his heart. His smile looks really bright, and I know if that because of the beautiful scene he imagine at their engaging party.

“You’re really the best, Taehyung-ah.” Jimin gives me his thumb. I only answer that with a smile.

“For us to comemorate this moment, how about taking a selca of us three?” Hoseok Hyung suggest that idea happily without knowing how painful my feeling for always be the thir person in their life.

“No, I’m okay. Just take it for you two.” I’m refusing it, but Jimin stubbornly make me do that. In the end we take several selcas of us three with Hoseok Hyung’s polaroid camera. After that, when they’re waiting for the picture appears I sip my Iced Americano and look at the window. Suddenly Suga’s figure appears on the outside of coffee shop. He smiles scarily to me, reminding me about the payment I have to pay.

“Here, take this one. Make sure you keep it until the end of time so you’ll never forget our friendship.” Hoseok Hyung hands me one of that polaroid sheet, and I can see three person smiling happily, the two are sincere while the one feels fake. It’s really hurt my heart, because that’s the worse smile I’ve ever shown.

When Hoseok Hyung and Jimin go to the cashier to pay, I’m writing a note on my polaroid photo then slip it in Hoseok Hyung’s lyrics book in his bag. Suga is still at outside, waiting for me to make a decicion. It’s really stressed me out, but since this morning I have made my decicion. My final decicion.

We packed our stuffs and prepare to walk home. We cross the street, and I make an eye contact with Suga. After a few meters I said to them if I left something at coffee shop and want to go get it. Jimin insists to go with me but I refuse him. Hoseok Hyung said he’ll wait me at that place with Jimin and asks me to be careful. I smiled to them and walk away back to the coffee shop. Near the traffic light I met with Suga.

“So, have you made your decicion?” he asks me as soon as I stand beside him.

I’m hesitating at first, thinking again about two years I’ve lived with Hoseok Hyung. I remember his laughing, his eyes, his hugs, his kisses. But realizing this is my one and only chance, I’m encouraging myself and come to a firm decicion. “Yes.”

Suga smiles and spread his right hand forward. “Then, go on.”

The traffic light still green, that means people can’t cross that road yet. I’m seeing to my left side, from afar there’s a car that runs rapidly. Suddenly rain pured there and makes everyone in panic to find place to stay dry. I’m still at my place, try to move my legs a bit. I’m affraid, the entire of my body’s shaking. But seeing Suga waiting behind me makes me lost my fear. I’m walking quietly to the middle of the road, stop and waiting for that car to crash me. I can see Jimin notices my stupid action and tells Hoseok Hyung right away. They seems really shocked and runs to my place, but the car have been in front of me. I can’t hear they screaming my name, my ears only catch the car’s horn roaring.

Right before the car crash me, I close my eyes, my tears falling and memory of me being with Hoseok Hyung for two years playing in my mind. I remember how Hoseok Hyung become really depressed after Jimin’s death. I remember how Hoseok Hyung always crying in his sleeps calling Jimin’s name. I remember when Hoseok Hyung start dating me to make him forget about Jimin, and that’s my reason for not be able calling him ‘Chagi’. And I remember how he clinging to me everyday like a 5 years old boy because he affraid I’ll leave him like what Jimin do. But when Jimin’s on his side, it’s okay for me to dissapear. All that Hoseok Hyung needs is Jimin’s presence, because for him Jimin is his Sun, and I’m just the Moon.

When I open my eyes, I can see Jimin crying and Hoseok Hyung hold him tight. I give them my best smile ever, my peaceful smile. And before everything becomes white, I’m wishpering to myself. “I love you, Hoseok Hyung.”