[CONTENTID1]CHAPTER NINE - THE TEAM[/CONTENTID1]
[CONTENTID2]

So at 14, I was traded as a slave. At 17, I had a failed pregnancy and I killed for the first time. How did it feel? There weren't words to describe it exactly. It was satisfying to put a bullet through the head of the man who was the centre of many of my nightmares for years but it was also frightening to know that I had blood on my hands. I was never the super religious type but I wasn't opposed to the idea of God (or several Gods) either. It worried me to think that my soul, the soul my mother had said was so good and pure, was now tainted with the atrocity that was murder. Those thoughts were part of what kept me awake at night, too. If I didn't have enough on my conscience, I also felt like a monster for dishonouring Fei and Minah's memories by making everyone think that they were responsible for so many deaths. But it was a necessary lie, Fei would've told me just that. It was necessary in order to get me, Jackson, Henry and BamBam out of that town alive. And it did - it got us out.

After we burned the house down and set the slaves free, the army arrived. We blamed everything on Fei and Minah. We told them that the two girls were jealous that I had been Master Wu's favourite and, in an attempt to get rid of me, they started a fire in the house. All the evidence was gone, the dead bodies had turned to ashes which meant none of those soldiers could testify against us. Seeing the ring on my finger, the newcomers took me, Henry, Jackson and BamBam back to their base and placed me under 'high priority protection'. That meant I was not to be harmed in any way and everything I asked for, I received. I was entitled to everything that Yìfán left behind since he'd apparently put me down as the sole heir of everything he owned. 

I was entitled to full access to all military resources that he had been cleared for, I received a luxurious apartment located in Beijing, one which used to belong to the late Yìfán. The plan changed but only slightly: instead of going to the French, we stuck to the Chinese and Japanese. We showcased some of our skills but not so much that they knew everything we were capable of. Acknowledging the fact that we were more use to them alive than dead, they accepted us in and made Jackson and Henry captains in their army but BamBam, since he hadn't escaped his slave title, was made first lieutenant. If you asked me, that was still impressive.

The first couple of months were eventful but not in the way we wanted. The males received more attention for their skills and gained a lot of respect from people higher up the chain of command. That enabled them to access files we hadn't been able to before, which was unusual considering I was cleared for a lot of things. After my 18th birthday, I was allowed into the headquarter training grounds to actually see what went down before the soldiers were sent off to fight a pointless war - before that, I'd only been sent reports of the occurrences but never saw that happened with my own eyes. 

Exactly six months after my 18th, I saw it with my own eyes.

"More countries are getting involved in this mess," Jackson sighs as he sits on one of my brown leather sofas. I look around the living room, as I always do, and study the decor. It's weird to think that I own this place. Months ago, I was eating out of someone's hand and now I have my own servants that cook and clean for me. I have more money than I know what to do with - granted, none of it is mine but it's the principle that counts. The two storey apartment is equipped with five bedrooms, five bathrooms, two living rooms, a kitchen, a dining room and a laundry room. There's also a spacious balcony that gives me a beautiful view of the apartment complex's green gardens, a lake and the road surpassing it.

Jackson, BamBam and Henry all live in the apartment below mine, since I stay in the penthouse of the complex. It makes it easier for us to communicate and rendezvous every day, or as often as possible. As time passes, however, they're called in more and more to either train the newer recruits or strategise with the army. Still, they always return and I take comfort in knowing that after everything we've been through together, they still haven't left me and they don't plan on ever doing so.

"The Americans just bombed several cities in North Korea and the Japs nuked Sydney, Australia," Henry informs us from the kitchen. He returns with tubs of fresh yoghurt and gives us each one. BamBam shimmies closer to me and I drape my legs over his lap, pressing my back against the arm of the sofa. "Any news on the French?"

"None," I reply, shaking my head. That country has been a little too quiet for my liking and I have a feeling they're up to something. "What about the AI's?"

"Close to perfecting them. Probably two more years and they'll be ready to use," he answers and I nod as I put a spoonful of yoghurt in my mouth. "One of our generals was taken out by one of Africa's child soldiers. Chances are our army will be seeking revenge." 

"I don't care about that. Have you found Luhan?" I ask, flicking my eyes to him. He shakes his head. "Are we any closer to locating him? I won't rest until I kill him."

"I know," he says, meeting my eyes. "I'm working on it. There are a whole lot of generals in this country, let alone soldiers. He's not anyone important, it won't be easy finding him." 

"I know," I sigh, stirring my yoghurt. "It's just-- I just really need to find him. I made a promise."

"And we'll help you keep it," Jackson reassures me. "I can promise you that." I nod and smile at him, and he returns the gesture. "The general that was assassinated...he was friends with your previous owner, the one who died in battle." I immediately sit up, my interest piqued. "With a little digging, we found one of the maids that worked for him. Her name is--"

"Jia. Mèng Jia," I say, cutting him off. He nods once. "She's alive? Is she okay? Where is she?"

"A small village near Loudi in the Hunan province. She's alive and well, working as a cleaner for the mistress of a powerful chief sergeant." I feel a smile creep onto my face and lean back in my seat, elegantly crossing my legs.

"No ing way," I scoff, shaking my head in disbelief. "When can I go see her?" 

"Not for a while. The sergeant is away and I'm guessing you have some beef with him, too," he replies with a smirk and I nod in agreement. "We'll arrange a meeting with him in a few months. Until then, we've come up with an idea."

"We?" I ask and he points at himself, BamBam and Henry. "What is it?" 

"Why don't we broaden our horizons a bit?" 

"What?" 

"Let more people in," he clarifies and before he can say another word, I'm already shaking my head. "Just listen. Please."

"No, our group's fine the way it is now," I snap. It took me long enough to trust these three, I'm not ready to let more people behind my ice walls. Trusting more people will inevitable get us or someone else killed. Look what happened when I trusted Minah with my secrets - both she and Fei paid for that mistake. I am not about to let that happen again, my heart and mind simply cannot take any more ache and guilt. 

"You said that when it was just you and me. Do you regret taking Henry and BamBam in?" Jackson asks and I shake my head without hesitation. He stands up and walks over to me. I get to my feet and he takes my hands in his. "Do you trust me?" He asked me the same thing years ago and I have never regretted my answer, despite everything that followed it. 

I nod softly. "Always." He smiles and leans in, pressing a small kiss on my forehead. He takes a few steps back, leaving my skin tingling after the brief but sweet contact. He clicks his tongue and BamBam and Henry also stand, already reaching for their coats. "Where are we going?"

"To the headquarters. We have some recruits we want you to meet," he answers, extending his arm. With a leap of faith, I put my hand in his and let him lead me out of the apartment, BamBam and Henry following closely behind. We get into my chauffeured car and Henry orders the driver to take us to the military headquarters. As we drive through the city, I look out the window.

Beijing is beautiful. After four and a half years of living in China, I've come to appreciate the beauty in nature since it's all I ever see. I no longer see the beauty in people (apart from the three males I trust with my life), I only see the ugly. All I have to admire now are these three and the true masterpieces created by Mother Nature; trees, flowers, plants, birds, foxes. Seeing the wonder of China's wildlife makes me miss my own country: it's been so long since I've stepped foot in South Korea. It feels much longer than four and a half years, I almost cannot remember it. 

The exact details of my mother's face are beginning to fade from my memory, I can no longer picture the way Hyomi's face would crease up whenever I played the old music she hated so much. It's hard to imagine Taemin and Jongin running around the camp, tripping Jungkook up as he tried to make it over to Min-Hee with cans of soup in his arms. Taemin: I will never forget how tightly he held me when he shielded me from that grenade, back when I was fourteen. Jungkook: I will never forget the way his eyes shone with tears as he told me how much he worried about Min-Hee and his role as not just her big brother but also her parent, since theirs had been killed. Eomma: I will never forget how she picked me up when I was nine and hugged the life out of me, crying into my shoulder because she knew that America and ISIS going to war meant Appa was not coming home after all. Hyomi: I will never forget the look in her eyes as the life faded from them after was slit by a North Korean soldier. 

It's hard to remember the exact details of their faces now, only their outlines and general features. When I do remember the details, however, it's always in my nightmares. They always look terrified and depressed, they're always begging me to save them and to avenge their deaths. To many people, sleep is an escape from reality - a way of living in peace for several hours. To me, sleep is just torment. I dread the moment I have to close my eyes for the night because I know that I'll see their fear-stricken faces. However, I also grasp onto those moments of slumber because it's the only time I can properly see them: my loved ones. And if t