I.

Breathe

"Get the out of my way!" Kibum screams at the police officer holding him behind the barricade.

"I'm sorry sir, I can't let you through right now." The officer says eyeing some of his comrades just across the bridge like a plea for help.

"Don't you know who I am? Don't you know who he is? Get the out of my way already! I can't be waisting my time like this when I have no idea what's happening to him!" Key screamed, causing paramedics, police officers, and bystanders to stare at him.

"That area of the bridge is unstable right now. The vehicles did quite a bit of damage. If you want to see him, you're going to have to wait until we pull the car out of the river," as furious as the diva was, he couldn't let himself shed a tear, not yet. 
 

He sat with his back to the railing, watching them pull Jonghyun's car out of the river onto the shore.

His face was blank, and he had no idea what to think anymore.

He heard them whispering, the paramedics, the officers, the bystanders, There's no way anyone survived that.

When he finally caught a glimpse of the other driver being forced into the back of a police car, hands handcuffed behind his back, nothing held Key back.

He stood up and ran to the man, fists clenched, screaming obscenities, not caring who heard or what consequences his image could suffer because that man, that drunken man, had killed his Jonghyun.

He was being restrained by several officers. He struggled against their grip, and he didn't stop until he saw people whispering amongst themselves.

He couldn't hear anything, it was a collective mumble, loud and unclear.

He still couldn't tell what they were saying and he wasn't allowed to go near anyone because the officers didn't want to risk him getting violent again.

When Onew, Minho, and Taemin arrived, they were warned of Kibum and his unstable mental state.

They approached with no trouble because they knew he had every reason to be that way.

Taemin had embraced Key the second he got near enough, and Key had remained completely stone faced.

Eventually, Minho and Onew joined them in their embrace. Key's face remained dry, but the others' did not.

Key let them hug him. That was until he heard an officer talking walkie talkie as another walked past them.

I repeat, the car was found empty. There was no one inside. We suspect the body has floated downriver.

Key didn't move, Key didn't speak, he didn't do much of anything until dawn broke. Taemin had made him get up from his spot on the road, the spot where he had stayed all night, just staring as if the world was an empty void. His fellow members urged him and almost forced him to go home.

Key adamantly refused.

He wouldn't leave until they found Jonghyun.
 

"About a mile down the river, they found something." Minho had told Key, his voice shaking. He knew no details, and he didn't know exactly where.

Key didn't care.

As soon as he could, be sneaked away and followed the sound of a siren, it had to be headed toward him, didn't it?

He ran the whole way, another barricade set up, holding him back from a rocky area of the shore.

Key found himself being held back by a pair of officers, and it gave him a strange sense of déjà vu.

Was he going to keep going around in circles forever?

Was he even going to see Jonghyun one last time?

He screamed and he finally cried, frustration finally winning over him. The diva was no more, there was no strength left in him. All he wanted to do was throw himself into the river and find Jonghyun on his own.

He managed to shake off the officers when he saw a flash of blond hair being bright up on a stretcher through the rocks.

He screamed at people to get out of his way and he just couldn't cope with the loss anymore. When a group of officers presented themselves between the ambulance and where Jonghyun's body was being carried on the stretcher, he simply couldn't contain himself anymore.

"All of you! Get out of my way! I need to get to him! I need to see him!" someone managed to say they could not let him pass between his screams.

He managed to get between two of the officers and run towards the paramedics and the stretcher, but he was roughly held back.

"Get the off of me! Let go, I need to see him!" His arms felt like they were being pulled out of their sockets, but the physical pain was nothing compared to the pain his heart was in.

He struggled and cried and he was becoming hysterical, and when he finally caught a glimpse of that blond hair again, he lost it all.

"Let go of me! He's my boyfriend! I can't just leave him like this! Let me through, god damn it!" he had finally said it, the pain seemed to multiply, and he could hardly see through the tears anymore.

The officers looked amongst each other, confused.

One of the officers restraining him loosened his grip in his shock, and Key managed to break free and pry his other arm free of the other officer's hold.

He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, it was as if they were carting him to his doom.

Which, in his mind, it was.

Jonghyun was dead, what else was there?

The world was loosing its color with every step Key took.

He had held a strange sense of hope the whole time, hoping it was all a nightmare, but now that he was so close, it was all over.

There was nothing left to hope for.

There would be no more nights when they'd stay up talking.

There would be no more secret kisses backstage during their shows.

There would be no more puppy eyes staring back at him in the morning.

There would be no more small marks on his body from when Jonghyun got carried away.

There would be no more whispered I love yous.

There would be no more Jonghyun.

And without Kim Jonghyun, there would be no more Kim Kibum.

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Comments

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095143166 #1
Chapter 2: I just want jjong still alive. The whole sence is like a nightmare and i want to wake up and everything is ok. Key you need to stay strong and other members. Jonghyun you did so well ,rest in peace.
daddy-jjong #2
hi, just wanted to tell u i recommended ur fic in my jongkey rec list. <3
http://lavender-kjh.tumblr.com/fic+rec
Raveness #3
Chapter 2: I got so confused at first, but now I'm okay XD
FreezingLove #4
Chapter 2: OMG,this is perfect!!
I was thinking he died but then I saw the next chapter which got me to sigh in relief.
Love the story!!
MissLocket #5
Ouhhhh!!! I just loved it. The first part was intense and put me on tears but the second was a relieve.