“Appa…..”

The toddler paddled his short legs as fast as possible to reach his father with his arms waving in the air. His saggy pajama pants were rustling with his running legs. Sehun whipped his head toward the child hearing him calling him. Haowen hugged Sehun’s leg and nuzzled his nose to the fabric. Sehun knew something is off. Haowen always tended to be clingy but his voice told him that little child is sad.

 Can it be-?

Sehun put down the milk carton and bent down to lift up the toddler into his arms.

“What is it Haowennie…?

Sehun pinched his cheek seeing the pouty lips of the toddler.

“Appa, Baba won’t listen to me… he doesn’t awake. Baba is naughty…”

Haowen whined blinking his moistened eyes. Sehun nuzzled his nose with little Haowen’s little nose.

“Aigoo… our Haowen… Baba must be tired…Baba will wake up.”

Sehun blew air to child’s neck making him to giggle cutely. Haowen snuggled on to Sehun’s chest with his chubby arms touching Sehun’s cheek. Then he flashed a goofy toothy grin.

“Wanna watch Peter Pan??”

Sehun asked knowing Haowen loved Peter Pan and Peter Pan could make him to cheer up all the time. Haowen clapped joyfully and kissed Sehun’s cheek. Haowen started to chirp about how Peter Pan did this and that. Nodding and humming to Haowen’s gibberish Sehun walked to the living room. When he put Haowen on the couch he happily cuddled with his favorite plushie to start watching the fairy tale. After playing the DVD Sehun headed back to the kitchen to finish cooking the breakfast.

Sehun sighed. It was him who sent little Haowen to wake up Lu Han. But Sehun didn’t think the last night quarrel would go this far to the point Lu Han would neglect their child. Scratching the back of his neck he wondered about the chances of waking up Lu Han without getting kicked. Then he turned his full attention back to breakfast making process. The last thing he wanted was a burnt kitchen.

With each portion of the omelet bringing another plea Sehun succeeded stuffing a French omelet into a giggling and wiggling Haowen’s mouth. After making sure Haowen did drink his orange juice Sehun made his way to the bed room. It was unusually quiet. The whole house was strangely quite unlike any other mornings that start with Lu Han’s soft voice. Sehun wondered how come he never realized that Lu Han is the liveliness of everything inside the walls. Lu Han’s laugh, giggles, singings, talking, even yells were the reason why the house was alive. Lu Han brings to life to their lives.

Sehun slowly opened the door and peeped into the room. Spotting a sleeping Lu Han under the blanket Sehun fiddled with the door knob for a minute hesitating.

“Why does he have to hold a grudge? Forget me! Haowen is our kid for god’s sake. Since when has he become so mean??”

Sehun muttered before he stepped into the room. He shut the door behind in case of Lu Han exploding again. He didn’t want Haowen to hear them fighting over something stupid. Sehun tiptoed toward the bed.

Lu Han was sleeping.

His flawless face was porcelain white highlighting his pink lips. Honey brown hair was messily scattered on the white pillow. Long eye lashes fluttered a bit. He was beyond perfection. Sehun starred at the beautiful and serene face almost forgetting why he was here and why he had to be here for the first place.

We fought for the first time!

It’s not that couples don’t fight and Sehun and Lu Han did have little fights but none of them grew into heated arguments to the point they would ignore each other. Usually their little fights ended up with Sehun showing up with a rose bouquet or ‘forgive me’ cupcakes or Lu Han preparing a fancy dinner but yesterday things got little out of hand, okay a lot.

And that happened because of Sehun meeting Jongin, his ex-boyfriend.

Feeling dip on the mattress Lu Han raised his groggy, soft voice.

“Go away Haowen… I won’t wake up.”

He turned to a side burying his face on the pillow further. Sehun silently inched closer.

“Lu Han…”

Sehun mustered his last bit of courage to spell the Chinese name. It was never hard to him like this ever before. In fact Sehun always thought Lu Han is a name that was meant to be rolled over his tongue.

 Lu Han’s whole body tensed upon hearing Sehun’s voice. But he didn’t turn to him nor speak. Sehun sighed. After a long silent Sehun finally decided to word out his thoughts.

“Lu I am sorry. But I didn’t meet Jongin in purpose. It was a pure coincident. I went there to buy waffles and beagles for Haowen and you. Besides Jongin was with his boy friend. He was there a minute before you came I swear. But I have no idea to where that wide eyed boy disappeared to.”

 Lu Han didn’t respond though he knew it’s wrong to behave in this way. But seeing Jongin and Sehun talking to each other like long knew pals which they really were in a way hurt him. Sehun smiling brightly at Jongin’s intoxicating eyes didn’t help the situation at all. Lu Han was acting like a teenage high schooler right now but if you asked him it couldn’t be any better either.

Sehun waited for another couple minutes silently watching at the motionless lump on the bed. Finally he stood up frustration growing inside. He ran his fingers through his dark brown tousled hair.

“Please wake up Lu. Haowen doesn’t want to know this, what we are doing now.”

Sehun left the room. Listening to fading footsteps Lu Han sighed. He slowly turned to the door.

May be it’s time to let go what happened. It wasn’t that Sehun cheated on him or he slept with Jongin. They just met co-indecently and being the polite person he always was Sehun just chatted with Jongin. They broke up years ago and they didn’t have a reason to hold a grudge for that.

Lu Han knew every single bit of details.

Lu Han was there all the time falling for Sehun loving him from all his heart though Jongin had guts to take the first step asking out from Sehun. It hurt Lu Han and he then went through hell to fight his feelings to hide them, to bury them, trying to keep his distance with Sehun torturing himself alive. But when they broke up because Jongin’s crush over Sehun disappeared as a new hot girl came to the school Lu Han was there to help Sehun to wash his pain. To say it was a relief to Lu Han wasn’t a lie. He wasn’t selfish but again he wasn’t letting his second chance to go.

Sehun was Lu Han’s first crush, first love, first kiss and first everything. Lu Han couldn’t forget the hardest time he had because of Jongin. First he suffered and then he had to watch the person he secretly love suffering. Lu Han still wasn’t ready to say “Yo man what’s up?” throwing his arm around Jongin’s shoulder.

Jongin hurt him. That could be forgiven but hurting Sehun? Though Sehun had forgiven Jongin Lu Han hadn’t.

Sehun never lied to him but does it say he would never lie to him? And again why did Lu Han try to ruin his own brain thinking in ways that could hurt him. What is the best choice? Being pessimistic or realistic? Lu Han sat on the bed groaning as he felt another headache is emerging. He massaged his temples throwing the cover away. Okay being optimistic the best choice. It’s the default choice any one could easily make.

A nice hot bath! That’s what he all needed to start an already screwed day.

Lu Han dipped his unclothed body in hot water