Yifan walks towards his place, the one where he hides, where he always hid when things got too complicated. He feels frustrated, angry, sad. He understands that he has made a mistake, but he has been punished for it, how much more does he have to give? He keeps wondering about that. Also, he is afraid because, he already lost a person that he loved, he can't afford to lose Joonmyeon too. He loves Joonmyeon, he can't lose his love again.

Suddenly, because the human form can't contain him anymore, he turns into a large wolf. In that form all the instincts are raw, the feelings are literally things that he feels crawl on his skin. He becomes a restless animal, runs in circles, scratches the dirt, growls in the darkness, until he finds it. Deeply buried in his heart, in that part of the soul where the human meets the wolf, a howl.

It comes from inside, a cry to the moon, a desperate cry. He howls, long and pitiful, long until he is breathless. Once, twice, nonstop... so much that even the eyes of the beast are full with tears.

There's another howl, it's Luhan. His brother tries to imitate him, it says, “You are not alone.” After, it's Jiaheng, it says, “I feel your pain.” Then his good friend Chanyeol, like an answer, “I will help you.” The others also join, Jinki, Baekhyun, Zitao. The wolves howl at the moon like a prayer.

And everybody can hear, even Joonmyeon... but they can't see him bent over the kitchen floor, covering his cries with his hands, feeling his own tears stream down his face. He knows that Yifan is not only calling for the moon's help, he is also, and only, calling for him. He knows that the other wolves' cries won't stop him, won't heal him, because Yifan only wants his.

As he cries and shakes on the floor, his thoughts become wild and take him to so many places. The pain of the fight with the wildcat, the pain of the pitiful stares, the pain of unrequited love, the pain of the slap of his captors and the pain of the birthing of his son. So many kinds of pain, they all led him to this one pain; the pain of having had loved and being about to lose it.

Lost. Lose. Loser. For so long, he has been the one losing and letting go, unable to take anything, but not anymore. He doesn't want to lose this, he won't let go of this. So he takes up that legendary strength of his, the one his father used to praise, the one that got him surviving until now, and he gets up. He walks to his porch and even if he is choking on his tears, he looks for the wilderness in him, he looks for his animal, he looks for his voice and he finds it. He howls, just as long and painful as Yifan's.

The rest of the cries stop and there's only him and Yifan talking, saying so much, taking it all out in public for everyone to hear. Joonmyeon makes the effort to pick up himself one more time and searches for Yifan's scent, he finds it and he follows it. He knows where his mate is and he goes to him. Running and crying, happy and sad, desperate and at peace.

-------

Up there, the sky is clearer, the earth is darker and the hearts are illuminated. There, he sees the big brown wolf that is Yifan. The animal turns to him who is still wearing his human costume. They look into each other's eyes and the wolf moves towards him, it sniffs his hand and then it, as if asking to be pet, Joonmyeon pets its head and then falls to his knees hugging the animal's neck as he breaks into more tears.

Yifan turns in his arms and holds him, he apologizes over and over again. , sitting on the dirt, he kisses his mate's hair, his neck, his shoulder. He asks for forgiveness and talks about love; the love that he feels, the love that he doesn't want to lose. His hands are no longer paws or claws, but feel equally possesive. So Joonmyeon can't do anymore but to say yes; “yes, I forgive you,” “yes, I love you,” and also, “no, I don't want you to leave me.”

And then they run out of words, but not out of kisses. So the kisses talk for them, that's how they use their mouths. Their hands are to leave Joonmyeon in the same state as Yifan, over the land. It's savage but also very human, very honest, the way in which they lay on the dirt, the way they can't stop touching, the way in which they feel how the sadness turns into heat and the desperation is for something else.

Under the moonlight, they touch, kiss, and bite. They hold, caress and hug. The pleasure is what heals the pain when the pain turns into pleasure. The “I love yous” are not pleas, they are affirmation. Then when there is no more coherency, the grunts, the “ohs” and the “ahs” are the law. And in this state, nobody remembers anymore what anybody looks like, what is beauty, what is beast. It's just them acting on their most basic instincts, but not only because of the , the anger, the rage, the fear and the jealousy.

When they are done, Joonmyeon is weak, feels like water in Yifan's arms; light and faint. Even if he is conscious and can see Yifan, and even answer his small kisses, but he can't stand and hardly can put his robes back on.

“Are you sure you are okay? I'm sorry, I got carried away.” The alfa whispers.

“I'm fine, don't worry. Just a little tired.” His mate answers with that twisted smile that he has come to love.

------

Since he has torn all his clothes Yifan turns into his wolf form to go back home. He carries a sleepy Joonmyeon on his back.

When they finally get there, it takes just a little time to wake Joonmyeon up who, even if he is tired, insists that they have a bath. They need a bath. 

And after, maybe it's the warmth of the water, or maybe they are still drunk in love, they fall asleep in each other's arms just like before.

As if nothing has changed.