Today marks my one year as a trainee under SM Entertainment. I was picked through street-audition system. Someone stranger came to me while I was singing a karaoke song in Myeongdong and then hired me instantly as a trainee under SM. I thought deeply about the offer and accepted the rare opportunity.

Though I was training under SM, I am still going to school like every common teen would do. My mother always reminded me that study is always my top priority and my father supported that idea. The only way that I could stay as a trainee is to do the training and the schooling at the same time.

It’s been a year since I started doing this and up until now, I still can’t assure myself if this is really the right company that I should belong. The genre of music that I love is the other way around of what the company wants me to do. The girls who are training with me are all pretty faces, I don’t think I could work together with them in the future.

Now after class, I had to directly go to the training center to practice everything. They don’t prioritize their artists’ musical ability. All they care are perfect curves, synchronized movements and singing. Day by day, it makes me realize that I am not suited in this company.

As I walk my way, I saw my co-trainee Taeyong. He was my closest friend among the other trainees. He was just like me, full of talent and skills but everything is unable to fully bloom because of many restraints. I smiled at him and he smiled back.

“Hello Taeyongie!”

“Yo, Haru shall we go together?”

“Sure!”
 

Unlike me, he isn’t going to school anymore. He drowned himself from pure training and enhancing his talent in the practice room. He said he will give it his all to make his dream come true and I idolize him so much for that.

“Shall we detour first before going to the training center?”

I see his deceitful eyes shining. He was always the one to suggest that we should sneak off sometime and relax. And I am very supportive follower of this guy.

“Haha, you jerk. Alright, where should go first?”

“I think it would be awesome if we try going to a mountain.”

“What? Are you dumb? It’s so far from here! We will really get scolded by Hansol!”

“Just kidding! Let’s try going to the river, I know some part where it’s very quiet and peaceful.”

“Oh sure~ come on!”

We went to the northern part of the river, the farthest part of the sidewalk that only few people would go. I sat in the bench while he stood still in front. He was being quiet all of a sudden. It seems like something’s wrong.

“Yah, Taeyong what’s wrong?”

“You know, I’ve been thinking lately if I should just change company? It seems like I can’t fly, I am in a cage where I can’t spread my wings. There was always boundaries and limits in what I can do.”

“What do you mean?”

“Why won’t we try on YG Entertainment? They are holding auditions every Saturday right?”

“Heol! I am thinking the same thing! I wish I could just disappear and rise in YG one day.”

“Hah! So we are thinking the same things day by day! What a good combination we are.”

“You say so.”

“So, how about we experience all the yells and nags tonight and feel the sky tomorrow?”

“I’m ready for this!”

The next hour we spent talking about how we would want ourselves to be in YG. After watching WIN, we’ve gain too much interest in their company. It felt like this is the right one for us.

Quitting the training was no joke, we had to talk to every single person in the company. I had to firstly talk to my parents then to the girls and other trainees, and then to our dance, singing, and health coaches, then to the staffs and next to our CEO, Kim Youngmin.

He did not pull our hands back. It felt like he was even pushing us to go away. He did not yell nor scold us. It seemed like he was even happier to hear about the news. That’s a good point though.

The next day we are out in the training and the dorms. We are now again alone in Seoul.

“Taeyongie, should I just go home for a moment? I missed my family.”

“Me too, dumb. How about we rest for four days and come back on Saturday early morning? Let’s meet at the coffee shop in front of YG Training Center.”

“Oh sure, just call me or anything! Bye!”

And so we went our separate ways. I am going on another journey. Summer has never been this interesting to me. I have to prepare everything, my audition piece and all on that day. I must stand out to overshadow everyone and take a spot as a trainee.

I built my burning passion fast and hard. I gained more strength from the hugs and kisses of my parents who lived in the city. My elder brother focused on his solo career as an entrepreneur and my father is an overseas worker but he will retire soon.

Saturday has come and I went to the coffee shop too early! I was afraid that I might be late so I went five hours ahead of time. I am in the coffee shop at 2 in the morning and texted Taeyong. I then received a call from him.

“Taeyongie, I’m at the meeting place already. When are you going?”

“Heol! You are way too early! I have not even taken a bath yet!”

“No way! Come here already! I need you to be here in less than five minutes!”

“You’re kidding! I’ll take a shower now, just stay there, take care of yourself.”

“Sure mister.”

I rehearsed all night and I was so weak to even stay my eyes open.

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