"If you never chase your dreams, you will never catch them." - Unknown

C h a p t e r  F o u r

"Confessions, Dreams, and Luck"

T hat day, for some odd reason, I decided to go into Krystal's room. Without knocking. Something that she hates the most. "What the heck, don't you people ever see the 'Knock First' sign!?" She screamed in frustration. I sighed and sat on her bed. She looked annoyed...and grouchy...like she looked every other day. "Well, get out!" She pointed towards the door, motioning for me to actually get out. "Krystal, I need your help," I said without thinking.

"I don't care!" She said, still pointing towards the door.

"Krystal, please, it's important." Krystal rolled her eyes, and her arm still pointed towards the door, that was hanging wide open, like it welcoming me to leave. I was about to say, "I just got here", but of course that wouldn't have worked. "Krystal, please," I repeated. After I repeated it, I think she gave up because her arm then immediately went down and then she folded them and glared at me like there were bright, beaming red lazers in her eyes. "You have five minutes, no more, no less."

"I want to become an idol, and-" Only after I said those few words, she froze. Her eyes froze, at least. "What?"

"I want to become an idol," I said again, this time a little bit louder. She rolled her eyes and raised her voice. "Do you know how much effort that takes?" She said, exactly like Umma. She returned back to her work, calculating numbers for math and all, I'm pretty sure she didn't want to hear anything else I had to say. "But, you know, being an idol and all, free from Jiyeon-" Again, she stopped working, and blinked for a few seconds, but then continued back with her homework. That name, "Jiyeon", was something special in our family. Everything I heard it, I would cring. Everytime Umma and Appa heard it, they would sigh and close their eyes. Everytime Jimin heard it, he would jump up and down and then plan how he would ask her out again, and everytime Krystal heard it, everything she was doing, she would stop for a few seconds, but then continue again.

"You want popularity, don't you?" Krystal finally said, while punching in some numbers on her calculator. She wrote down something. "Well, no, not exactly..." I trailed off. Krystal put in some numbers again. "If you wanna be popularity, just dress differently, talk different, act differently." For once, I got off of topic. "You're telling me to not be...me?" I asked, shocked.

"You want to be popular." Steam really did come out of my ears when I heard that. Krystal was no help. She was never any help. She said the same exact words as Umma next. "You're just being jealous, you know?" So much for asking an older sister for help. So, Krystal was off the list for people to ask. I wanted to ask Jimin next, but would he actually understand? And he was so young, he couldn't possibily understand my pain, especially since he's after Jiyeon and all.

"Well, thanks for your help," I told Krystal sarcastically. She noticed the sarcasam in my voice. "Yeah, you're welcome. Come back anytime!" She said, also sarcastically. She was...teasing me. "You know, sometimes I feel that you and Jiyeon are sisters. Because you act exactly like each other," I had muttered before slamming shut the door to her room.

I knocked on Jimin's door. And it opened. A more welcoming...welcome. "Hey, sis. What are you doing so late at night?" He straightened his bedhead. I bit my lip. "Sorry for waking you up," I said, my voice cracking a bit.

"Nah, it's okay. I was about to wake up anyways," he told me as I stepped into his room. Event though I asked, "Why?" I already knew. He was busy planning his big surprise for Jiyeon, like every single night, I would hear him yelling something from downstairs since his bedroom was downstairs. "Well, you know why." He exchanged glances with me as he said it shyly. I smiled a bit. He was funny. Liking Jiyeon and all. But I wish I had as much confidence as Jimin. He's very confident in Jiyeon being his future girlfriend.

"Hey, sis, you don't need to tell me anything. I heard everything from Krystal's. She can be a pain in the sometimes, can she?" I was taken aback because Jimin had heard mine and Krystal's whole conversation. That little eavesdropper. "I think you should follow your dreams. If you believe you can do it, you can. That's how I know that one day Jeon Jiyeon will become my girlfriend. It's because I believe that she will be. If you can believe that you can be an idol, you will. Don't underestimate yourself, noona. Believe you can do it."

This time I was really startled. My brother...giving me advice...? Good advice? "You don't think that being an idol will take too much effort and that I'll be away from you?" I asked, amazed.

"It's your life, I think that you know being an idol takes a lot of effort and that you're up for the challenge. And of course, if you want to be an artist, I'm gonna miss you because you're going to be away from me so much, but sis, doing what you want to do: that's the only thing that matters." I smiled warmly and brightly at Jimin. He did understand.

"Jiminie, why do you want Jiyeon so much?" I asked him suddendly.

"Because I think she's the most prettiest girl. Ever. She has a beautiful face, and a beautiful-" Okay, I regretted asking him this question.

"Thanks, Jiminie! I gotta go somewhere, I'll be back before midnight!" I waved goodbye and he nodded and smiled his one-of-a-kind smile at me, and I closed the door.

❣

I went to Seoul Hope Park, the park by our high school that wasn't very far away from our house at all. I needed a place to reflect on what Jimin said to me, and just meditate. "Hey." I turned around. It was- "I'm that guy from your school, Yonghwa, you know-"

"Yeah, I think I know you, everyone knows you," I said and closed my eyes while the fresh wind breezed into my face, giving me the feeling of freedom. "Do you live around here?" I opened my eyes. Was Jung Yonghwa asking me a question? "Uh, yeah, I do."

"Cool, me too." I think he was trying to start a conversation. So I followed along. "So...you went to Fuji, I heard? How is it there?"

He was surprised that I was actually talking to him. "Well, yeah, it was great, I mean, the beaches and things...they were beautiful," he spoke really fast and swift. He cleared his throat after an awkward moment of silence. "Hey you know, me dating your best friend thing, can we just keep that behind us?" He asked me.

"Oh, I'm not worried about it. I just couldn't believe that Jiyeon would say that in front of the whole school, you know?" I assured

"Yeah, Jiyeon's a bi-" I looked at him. He looked at me. And then he covered his mouth. "Sorry, I don't really usually curse," he tried to tell me. I shook my head as the wind continued to brush through my hair.

"I thought you two dated or something," I confessed. "Like I don't know being the girl that always gets bullied, I always thought popular people date popular people."

"Those tales are only in movies in books," Yonghwa insisted. "Jiyeon hates me to guts, and so do I to her. It's not like the popular girl wants the popular guy..." Then, there was another moment of silence. "Jiyeon told me that you wanted to be a K-Idol?" He then discussed, which made me fume. "What-wha," I stammered sliently.

"That one day at Ulzzang Fashion. She saw you staring at the flyer for SM Entertainment for 'an infinity', and decided just to tell everyone that was here earlier." I sighed. Now even Yonghwa knew. Great. Just great. "And I know that you liked me in the freshman year."

"What!?" This I couldn't contain myself. "I mean, uh..."

"Nah, it's okay. Lots of girls like me, I'm used to it by now." I started to be stressed out. I can't believe Jiyeon would tell all of that stuff to people while I wasn't there. That backstabber. Not like she was being nice to me in front of my face or anything, but still. Backstabbing. "I don't like you anymore. I mean it was a freshman thing, I guess. Your first high school crush," I confirmed. After that, he said, "Okay."

That night with Yonghwa was really awkward, with him finding out my little crush from two years ago. We confessed more things to each other, and he said that while the time that he and Soohyun dated, they never even went on a real "date" with each other, and they just did it because they were "stupid freshmen" at that time. I confessed that I would actually draw pictures of Jiyeon and use it as a dart board, which was mainly true. He also told me that Soohyun gave Jiyeon a black eye in the freshman year for who knows what, which made me crack up because that's what Soohyun would totally do, once you get to know her. It was a pretty fun time, and I remembered to keep my promise to come back at 12:00. I guess you could say Yonghwa and I become friends after that night, and I realized that for once, not everyone was always against me. Jimin cared for me. My parents cared for me. Soohyun cared for me. Yonghwa sounded like he did. I mean, I think that a lot of other people have it more worst than me. Some people could honestly get backstabbed and lied to from their parents, but that wasn't happening to me.

I, out of all people...was the lucky one.

A/N: Sorry people this chapter ended kind of abruptly ;) I hope you enjoy "Wonder"!