Have any of you fell in love with someone at first sight? That kind of stuffy yet excitable feeling lurking in the pits of your stomach? They say it's the "butterflies"- but I'd beg to differ. If it were up to me to name that ridicilously fabulous feelings- I would call it "the cupid's arrow"... Why? Since for me- it felt as if air was knocked out of my stomach- my head slightly dizzy and eyes unfocused. Pretty lovesick hey? Well I gotta say that the arrow has hit it's jackpot- my heart.

And as for the stomach's case- that's just me being nervous- oh shut it! It aint the butterflies- that name's so lame. I wondered who named it, must be some old caterpillar. Shh.

Our first ever meeting wasn't the most impressionable- and yet here I am, being told that it was indeed full of impression. To really explain this whole love , I need to bring it back to 140.

[insert electrostatic ]

"Umma, do we really have to leave appa- can't you work this out with him-" With teary eyes and sweaty palms, I grab hold of my fleeting mother- her expression dense and emotionless. She hushes me gently before patting my head in a messy manner,

"It'll be alright- we'll be alright" she smooths out my hair before turning back to the airport counter, handing both of our passports to the lady dressed in neat navy blue uniform.

Sighing, I turn to the comfort of my beloved cream toned iPod- picking any random songs which possesses potential to awaken my joyful emotions- such as happiness. Do anything I say makes sense to you? Oh well, in my opinion, it doesn't. 

(cr: bts' outro: propose)

'The moment I first saw you
I only remember that image
You can’t go anywhere
You have to only look at me too'

Breathing in the conditioned air of Beijing's airport, I glance back at my busy mother, who had just dropped out luggage into the trusty hands of the staffs and machines. 

"Come on Junghye, our flight is in twenty minutes" my mother reports as she pockets the plane ticket. 

Smiling despite the rusty situation, I climbed back up onto my two feet and nodded respectfully at her.

"Yeah, let's go"

And that was how my sizable life in Beijing ended. After spending fifteen years in the polluted city, I had learnt a lot of adulterous themes such as- how corrupted people and life could be. How easily strong bonds could be broken and how cheap it is to buy love. Well, that was my take on love at that time (don't judge). 

And why was that so? I had reasons- plenty of reasons to be honest. 

First and foremost- my parents. The two role model and superhero in life- the people whom I look up to no matter the situation or time- the two people who I personally thought was too deep in love...- they broke. In exact halves as they walked out of each other's life. Being the only child, my mother had asked me a night ago if her and my father were to go on separate holidays, who would I go with. With a perplexed expression, I told her that she would be preferred- and as I queered as to why she questioned me in such a manner (I was clueless at that time), she replied that her and father were getting divorced. 

No words could explain the hurt and confusion present in my eyes at that exact moment.

They were happy- through my eyes they looked perfect- I guess I chose to ignore the numerous night outs my father had and the puffy eyes in early mornings (mother claimed they were her spring allergies- I complied). 

Ever since I was a child, I had always loved and cherished my family- I thought it was perfect- the way father gazed into my mother's eyes with such complexity and affection. But that image broke in half the moment my mother mentioned "divorce". 

After a little cat fight with her (which consisted of me wailing in the ground with eyes bucketed with tears), my mother explained that my father was seeing another woman behind her back- and with his upmost mistake, he knocked her up and it's been six months since. According to my mother, he didn't even asked that "filthy" woman to abort her baby. He loved her to that extent.

Funny how he could fall out of love and into another one so quickly (not).

Due to fate's disrespect, my mother had to find out in the most cruelest manner (in my opinion). It was her anniversary with father- and he claimed to be working overtime- but sent her some fancy flowers (which made her happy at that instance). As she was driving back home, she stopped by the mart to grab some milk for my routined cereal breakfast- and as she walked out of the mart- she found my father coming out of the hospital on the other side of the road- with a lumpy woman (in the stomach area). 

Feeling puzzled, she crossed the street to grab onto him- and he glanced back at her with the most quizzed emotions- as if asking "why the hell are you here?". Like the proper woman my mother is (if it was me, it would be game over for his life really- I mean really, my past self was all about family- so I wanted to hang onto my "perfect parents", but right now, after what I've been through, I would've beaten him up and send him back to the hospital- for another cause), she questioned my father politely- asking his relationship with the woman beside him. Being the er my father was- he straight out told her he was cheating... and from that moment on- went down. 

Mother poured milk over father and his . Really, they deserved more than being drenched in milk- how about drowning in their own blood? Hmm, I'm not a very good example to kids. Ignore me, heh.

And you all know what happens next- mother comes home with slightly red eyes and she questioned me about the holiday thing- and that night, she booked our tickets. Father wouldn't have known that we were gone- since he never came home that night. What a jerk (and a coward). 

And now here I am, being in the airport at eight in the morning (I was awaken at five, gosh that was harsh).

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