Evolution of the Butterflies

It is a Friday night. Chanyeol's band mates had invited the three of you to a club. You had agreed to it, since Chanyeol and Kai looked interested in the offer.

The clock reads 9:42PM, 18 minutes more to the meeting time. You stand in front of the mirror, taking a look at your outfit. You are definitely going to at least get some men interested with your tight black dress. The only problem is the wad of tissue stuck up your nose.

You groan, throwing yourself into your bed. Bad idea because it gives you a headache. You hear the door bell ringing and you curse at whoever that is early.  Getting up, you make your way towards the door of your apartment. You take a look through the peephole and you are taken aback when Kai is behind the door.

You open the door and Kai's head snaps up to look at you. Quickly, you pull out the tissue that was plugged into your nose. Kai scans your face, his eyes filled with worry and concern. Then he drops his gaze to your outfit, only to look back up after a short moment.

The feeling you get from that mere action makes you uncomfortable. Kai never looks at you like how other guys do. You feel like you are nothing but a friend to him. And you know exactly why your heart feels like it has stopped pumping blood.

"You're early," you point out as you step back, inviting Kai into your place silently.

The male is wearing all black tonight—black pants, black shirt and black leather jacket. He looks amazing,  as always. Even with messy hair, he never fails to appear perfect. It's almost possible that if you are to throw him an outfit of a garbage bag, he is still going to rock it.

"You're not going to the club like this," Kai says the moment you turn to him after shutting the door. He is staring at you intensely, his gaze almost fierce. "You're sick."

"I've been worst," you brush him off as you pad to your room. You hear the boy following you behind. "Besides, you guys want to go and I don't wanna be a party pooper."

You don't hear a peep from Kai, so you stop talking. Turning around, you see him holding his phone to his ear. You your eyebrow at him and he shrugs, his eyes not leaving yours.

"We're not going, Yeol," he says into the receiver.

"What— Kai!" You hiss at him, reaching out to grab his phone.

But the boy has already hung up on Chanyeol without waiting for a reply. With the hand that is reaching out to him, you smack his chest with the back of your hand. Kai rolls his eyes not-so-subtly.

"Change out now, we're staying home."

"No, wait!" you try not to cringe at your voice that is heavy with sick, slightly muffled. "You're going! I'll just stay behind."

Kai has a hint of a smile on his lips, as though you had just said something funny. "Cute," he murmurs cheekily.

Then he leaves the room while you stand frozen on the spot. He just called you cute. Kai called you cute! The butterflies in your stomach are on a rampage and your heart is making several flips a second.

"I'm going to undress you if you don't start changing!" Kai shouts from outside, making you jump at his voice.

"O-okay!" You shout back, quickly locking the door and changing into comfier clothes. When you're done, you fling the wooden piece open.

You gasp slightly, seeing Kai so close to you. He was about to knock, but you had opened the door before his fist could even come in contact with the surface. His eyes are wide, obviously as shocked at you are. Kai drops his eyes to your new change of outfit.

This time, he doesn't look away. You are wearing a black shirt and gray sweatpants. It is not revealing or y, but Kai doesn't look away as quickly as before. Naturally, you squirm under his gaze. Like breaking out of a trance, Kai blinks blankly as he focuses on your face.

"I'll change too," he says, albeit sounding slightly unsure, making the statement sound more like a question instead.

You nod, a little too quickly and with too much vigour. You step aside, letting Kai into your room where he and Chanyeol have their clothes in. They stay over sometimes and it really isn't surprising if they decide to have an impromptu sleepover. Just like right now.

You are sure Kai is going to stay over. And yeah, although he might have done that before, it was always been together with Chanyeol. There was never once when either of them were to stay the night alone individually. This is going to be a first...

You sit on the couch, watching television and also waiting for Kai to come out. After three sneezes and a bout of coughing later, Kai strolls out of your room, extremely relaxed and carefree. You look up at him through heavy-lidded eyes when he stands by the couch.

"Have you eaten?"

"It's almost 10, of course I've eaten," you look at him stupidly and he returns a blank gaze.

"Right," he mumbles, looking away, obviously embarrassed. You notice that he is fidgeting and you smile at that. Kai never fidgets. He is always sure of himself and there was never once when the boy is unsure of himself.

"Wanna watch a movie together?" You suggest. Hearing you speak, he returns to look at you and you scoot over. Patting the spot next to you where it is slightly warm from sitting for too long, you say, "Come, sit."

Kai does and you are fully aware of how close he is to your body. His thigh and side are pressed firmly to yours. He stretches his arms to rest on the back of the sofa and you know that because you can feel his arm pressed against your shoulders.

"What movie?" Kai mumbles more to himself than you as he eyes the movies available on the screen.

You turn your head, admiring his side profile. "You can choose."

He is not distracted by you and you are glad for that because you like watching him. His lips are slightly parted as he breathes in and out from that outlet steadily. You wonder briefly what his lips feel like, if they feel as soft and addicting as they look.

Stop looking at his lips! You admonish yourself. Tearing your eyes away from his lips, you trace his features with your gaze. His jawline is sharp and you can't help but feel jealous that he probably doesn't have a double chin while you do. It's unfair, but then again, Kai makes everyone in the world feel unjustified because of his good looks and his entire being.

"Harry Potter and the Azkalabam?" Kai proposes. You don't have enough time to look away and you find yourself caught in his gaze when he turns to you.

"It's Azkaban," you murmur and roll your eyes at him. He chuckles softly, nudging your thigh with his playfully.

You know it is just an innocent act on Kai's part but you really cannot prevent your heart from pounding so fast. It's almost humanely impossible for your heartbeat to be that rapid. You gulp, lifting the remote with a somewhat unsteady hand. Pressing the 'play' button, you lean back to relax and watch the movie, only to freeze when you feel the heat of Kai's arm.

"I'll go turn off the lights..." You leave the couch, in an attempt to create some distance between the two of you.

It's not that you don't like being near Kai. Heck, you love it. You just dislike the effects you get and it's uncomfortable when you are the only one who visibly looks affected. The task of switching off the lights are not difficult and you soon settle next to Kai once again.

"Are you cold?" Kai questions softly after your third sneeze. His hot breath caresses your cheek and you know that you shouldn't move, or his lips will come in contact with your skin. Although, you really want to do just that. You want to feel Kai's lips.

It had only been 15 minutes into the show and you feel like you are annoying Kai with your constant sniffling. He doesn't wait for your answer but stands up and walks away, allowing you to move and breathe again. You think it's because he is annoyed with you already and you try not to feel upset about it. Focusing on the movie, you try to ignore the absence of Kai who was next to you.

It's hard but suddenly you are hyper-aware of something being draped over you because you had been paying more attention to the movements of Kai than to the movie. You look up at the boy, who has reclaimed his seat. Kai had just covered you with your blanket. It's yours and you know it's impossible to smell Kai's scent instead of yours. But you do. The only scent you detect is the familiar smell of Kai; something soft—like melted marshmallows—and something that is musky but not too overwhelming.

"Are you cold?" You blurt out before you can even think of stopping yourself. But it's too late now to go back so you continue, "I mean, we can share the blanket..."

Kai searches your face and his eyes land on yours for a considerable moment. One end of his lips tug upwards, resulting in a smirk. This smirk is different from the other ones you see him give to girls though. This smirk is softer, more playful than just trying to look tough. The boy nods his head, his soft hair bouncing against his forehead.

You lift the blanket and you hold your breath when Kai moves impossibly closer. Your legs are folded under you while his thigh slips under one of your folded leg. You are half sitting on him and you are thankful that it is too dark for him to see your flushed face.

Kai doesn't feel cold, actually. You would think his hand or legs might feel like ice since you assume he is cold, but instead his body feels warm. As warm as a sunny day everyone loves—not too hot, not too cold. Before you even know what you are doing, you press yourself even closer to his warmth.

"Whoa," Kai breathes. He's going to get weirded out by you doing that. He's going to leave. He's going to— "You're so cold." You frown, cocking your head to the side. Kai touches your fingers and you gasp lightly.

It's not just the difference in temperature that made you do that. But the fact that Kai is holding your hand—okay, kind of holding your hand—makes your entire body tingle. He takes your other hand and you start to hold your breath.

"Do you have any medicine you can take?" Kai is worried and you can see it in the way he looks at you, in the way he sounds like you are going to break any moment.

You shake your head, "It's okay though. My flu usually goes away after a few days."

The movie is still playing in the background but it is forgotten at the time being. You are lost in Kai's gaze. The butterflies in your stomach have evolved into huger, more hyperactive birds. The close proximity and Kai's earnest-looking eyes only make the birds so crazier.

He finally sighs, going back to the movie. You do the same too, albeit more belatedly and slowly. Your body is numb until Kai's hands move against yours again. Now it feels like your hands are on fire. Kai makes your palms touch each other, then cupping his bigger, calloused hands on either sides of yours.

You instantly feel hot, that's how you know that you are flushed from head to toe. You glance at Kai, who has his eyes trained on the TV. It seems so natural as he rubs his thumbs along the side of your hands, sometimes even your palms. It's as though he has done this many times, so much so that he doesn't even have to think as he does this action.

Three-quarters into the movie, you are almost nodding off. Despite it being the of the movie, you still can't help it when you struggle to keep your eyes open. You have to regain composure whenever you hear Kai sniggering because you get a shock from your head dipping too low. Eventually, Kai extracts his hand—yes, he is still holding your hands—and reaches over to the side of your head. You are shocked, of course. But you are only more awake again when he pushes your head forcefully to rest on his shoulder.

"I'll carry you to your bed after the movie," he whispers to you, his breath tickling your skin.

"Mmm," you hum, exhaustion creeping up on you again.

You snuggle your head into a more comfortable position, which ends up with your nose pressed into Kai's neck, your lips brushing his skin. You even move your body closer to his. A frozen Kai is unnoticed in your state of unconsciousness.

You wake up again and find that you are already on your bed. Kai is nowhere in your room and it bugs you. When Kai and Chanyeol stay over, they always sleep in your room. Sometimes both of them on the floor, sometimes both on the bed with you, sometimes one of them on the floor, the other on the bed with you.

You get up to get some water, since your throat is dry and scratchy. You have a piece of tissue in your nose but you don't care if Kai sees you with it. Besides, he's probably already asleep. Opening the door and padding towards the kitchen, you glance at the sofa. Your guess was right; Kai is residing in the living room for the night. You try your hardest not to disturb him, making hardly any noise at all.

You are pouring water for yourself when you hear Kai's low voice, "Are you okay?"

You jump slightly, having assumed that he had been sleeping. Turning around, you see Kai leaning on the door frame of the kitchen's entrance. You cannot make out the look on his face but from his words, you know he is worried.

"Yeah," you cringe when your voice cracks. You clear your throat, realising how muffled you sound as you explain, "Was just thirsty." He hums in return and you are both quiet as you drink water. When you are done, you turn back to Kai, who hasn't left his spot by the doorframe. "Sleep on the bed, Kai."

"No," he answers without hesitation. Your heart clenches but you try not to feel hurt. But he must have sensed that emotion radiating from you because he flusters, "I-I mean... It's not very nice to... You know... Share a bed with a girl."

"I'm not just any girl, Kai," you whisper more to yourself. You hope he hadn't heard it because you don't want to know what his reaction to that would be. But you also want him to hear it so he knows your real thoughts. It's frustrating, actually.

"No," he murmurs softly. "No, you're not," he reaffirms, this time more steady, with more certainty.

"Besides," you fidget and gulp. "It's not like you've never done it before..." Kai doesn't say anything, so you ask again, "Sleep with me?"

A moment of silence passes and you feel like digging a hole to hide in forever. You never had the galls to be that straightforward... Maybe it's the flu, maybe it's the sleepiness. Or maybe you're just sick of always being so close but yet so far with Kai. You start to regret what you had suggested immensely when he still doesn't reply. 

But Kai answers softly, almost like he is shy, "Okay."

"Really?" You're surprised, really.

"Yeah," the male sounds so sure, his voice full of certainty now.

"Okay," you nod to yourself to tell yourself that this is real and this is happening.

You walk past Kai with your heart hammering in your chest. He follows you behind quietly. When the both of you are in bed, you lay with your backs to each other. Of course, you want more than this. You want his arms around your waist, his face in your hair. Nevertheless, you will just settle for this. You know it's just wishful thinking when you think Kai and you would be cuddling. But you also know it's not going to happen.

Because even though you like him, Kai only thinks of you as a friend. And you're positive of it.