*Please read A/N!! It's important!!!

Chickening out

"Kai, you can bring me anywhere and I'd still be okay with it." Your words made my heart swell with undying love for you.

I chuckled at your cheesiness even though I thought I was close to melting. "Okay, stay where you are. I'll meet you outside your class."

You told me where your class was held even though you and I both knew that I was fully aware of where your classes were held at. I promised I would be there soon as I started walking really quickly towards you. I wanted to run, but I didn't want to look crazy on campus. I was rounding the corner of the building where you were at when I started scanning the surroundings for you. My eyes caught on a tall and lean male. As I got closer, I strained to see who he was talking to. Sehun was talking to you, what else was I expecting?

Defeated, I started to slow down my pace even as I walked towards you. You were glancing at me at the side of your eye and I perked at your recognition. I watched you give Sehun a sorry smile before squeezing his arm and leaving him. You started jogging towards me. Sehun had turned to see who you were running to and when we made eye contact, Sehun actually smiled at me. He gave me a thumb up and I caught on the 'Go for it!' message.

I wasn't given time to think of what Sehun meant because I was tackled into a hug by you. I stumbled a little before catching myself. My arms immediately flew to your waist, circling them around you and hugging you back with a fiercer intensity. I hid my face in the crook of your neck and breathed in your familiar sweet smell.

"I missed you very, very, very much," I whispered, almost choking from all the feelings I had for you right now at this moment.

You tried to push me away as you scolded, "Then where have you been, huh?!"

I was still hugging you tightly. No way was I letting you go this time. Definitely not anymore. When you realised that I wasn't going to release my hold on you, you came back to hug me again.

I murmured into your hair, "What did Sehun want?"

"Who cares," I could feel your lips moving against my shoulder as you mumbled. "I told him I had a date."

My heart thudded against my chest and I just hoped that you couldn't feel it. I didn't say that it was a date. But for you to want to call it a date made me feel like a lovesick schoolgirl. I was proud of your confidence, but I was ashamed of my own. People would have thought that I'd be a professional at these dating and wooing thing. But they were dead wrong. I was clueless when it came to how to express my feelings to the girl I liked—and possibly—loved. I was shy and abashed when I was around you, only I didn't show it. I had to keep up my cool front after all.

"Damn right, it is, sweetheart." And damn right it was. I was going make today the first and last time we had a date before you became mine. I didn't care if I was going to vomit all over myself while confessing because I was definitely going to make my feelings known to you by hook or by crook.

"You're mine today." And you were. You were going to be mine to keep and love by today. I was going to make you my girlfriend before it turned midnight. I wasn't going to postpone it a day longer. I won't and I can't.

You were blushing and it made me laugh. It amused me how much the same we both felt. You and I both felt shy and meek when I said something like this. The only difference was that you always blushed whereas I kept my expressions hooded. Our hearts were probably thundering in our chests at the same fast rate, but you would never know.

I touched your cheek softly with my fingers, afraid that I might hurt you. "Let's go," I dragged my hand from your arm to your hand, finally intertwining your fingers. 

I felt my heart crack when you jerked your hand back slightly. I was considering to let go of your hand when you mumbled, "You don't like skinship in public."

So you were only thinking of how much I didn't like skinship in public? My eyebrow quirked in amusement as I shot back, "Do you like skinship?" 

"Depends on who it is with," you whispered, looking away.

I chuckled, squeezing your hand tighter. "With me. Do you like skinship with me?" You hesitated a little before nodding timidly. My heart leapt at that tiny action. I pulled you even closer to me, "Then I like skinship in public. With you."

We were walking towards my car and you were quiet. I knew that you were only this silent because you were feeling shy. I smiled at that. You were so transparent to me and I thought you were adorable. When we got to my car, I regretfully had to let go of your hand. We entered the vehicle and I could feel your eyes on me even as I drove out of the school compound. I brought my hand up to cup your face, smoothing your cheek with my thumb. I glanced at you with a small smile on my face. I loved holding you.

"What's up, sweetheart? How've you been?"

You bobbed your shoulders as you looked away. My hand went back to clutching the knob of the car gear stick. "I'm okay," your reply was standard coming from someone who didn't like people to worry about you. "How have you been? I don't see you anymore."

I felt the guilt and regret prick at my heart. The tug in my stomach that told me I didn't do a very good job at keeping you to myself made me angry. We could have seen each other if I wasn't so insecure. I would have been able to take you out on dates like this if I didn't think wryly. I wondered what you thought of me if you knew of the stupid reason why I didn't hang out with you. But then, I didn't want you to think that I was a man who backed down so easily because I definitely wasn't.

"I've been busy," I tried to answer as vaguely as I could. "Besides, you're getting closer to Sehun, aren't you? It's good."

The sourness when I said that last sentence lingered in my mouth. I merely wanted to get a reply or even a reaction from you. I didn't know how painful it was give you the green light and support to become friendlier with another guy. I guess I didn't know how bitter the emotion jealousy was until I met you.

A small sigh left your lips before you nodded, "Yeah, he's been hanging out with us a lot. But I miss you, Kai. I'd rather see your face than his." Even though I liked the sound of that so much that I wanted to kiss you right now, I wanted to tease you first. I gave you a look that said you were a very naughty girl. You flustered with wide eyes, "Not that I don't like his face. Don't tell him I said that, please!"

I would never tell Sehun anything, really. I didn't know why you'd think I would. Because why the hell would I tell my love rival what you said about him—whether good or bad? I just wanted to stray far away from him.

I laughed as I drove the car into a halt at a red light. I pretended to think it over as I turned to you, "I don't know... I might not tell him anything. Provided you give me a kiss."

"What?" You shrieked. 

"I want a kiss," I tapped my cheek smugly, smirking at you.

"Wha— Why would you—" I fixed a stern gaze on you, wanting to intimidate you. It worked because you started mumbling incoherent words. I only did so to tease you. And partly because I wanted it too.

The light turned green and I started driving again. I sang, "I'm waiting~" You started squirming in your seat, obviously uncomfortable at my proposal. I tried not to feel dejected when I gave in. I sighed, "It's o—" You surprised me when you pecked me on the cheek so quickly that it felt like a kiss from a fairy. It was almost non-existent. My lips started moving on its own as if I was forced to say these words whether I meant to or not. "Wow, you just kissed me because of Sehun."

You shook your head immediately, "It's not true." I stared at you after parking the car. I realised how red you were. You almost looked as red as a ripe tomato. "Well, it is partly true," you admitted. "But I also, uh..." You started to stutter and blink really fast. "Kinda... Uh... Wanted to do it."

You started to fidget and looked around, finally noticing that we were parked already. You looked back at me, but I was all ready. The moment you turned back to me, I pounded my lips onto yours. My heart was thumping like a small animal's. You were still shocked as you stayed frozen. Your lips were covered with mine and I noticed just how much I liked kissing you. It was only my second time and yet I wanted to kiss you some more and for the rest of my life.

I pulled away slightly. You were staring at me with those big eyes that said that you had no idea what was going on. I grinned goofily, announcing, "You're so cute that I wanna kiss you again." So I did.

"Kai," you murmured, your entire face burning red.

I chuckled, tilting my head, "Come on, let's go."

When we met at the pavement, I took your hand again. It felt so natural for me to hold your hand like this. I knew how meant to be you were for me. I just wanted to hold your hand for the rest of my life and no other girl's. Because nothing felt as normal and yet amazing as when I touched you.

We entered the ice cream parlour. I ordered for a tub of ice cream and you gave me a questioning look. "We'll eat at home. I'm going to cook dinner and I wanna cook for you," I explained. I pointed to the ice cream display with our entwined hands, "Pick your flavours, sweetheart."

I watched you affectionately as you contemplated on which five flavours to choose. Your thinking face was so cute and when you tapped your finger on your chin, it made me smile. I stuffed my free hand into my pocket, watching you quietly from the side. You had already chose three flavours and you weren't sure which other two you should get.

"What do you want?" You asked me, facing me.

I shrugged, smiling, "You choose. You like ice cream more than I do."

"I know," you sighed, rolling your eyes. "But what if I chose something you don't like?"

"Don't worry about me," I chuckled, smoothing the back of your hand with my thumb. "I'll just eat whatever you don't like."

You ended up choosing my favourite flavours, chocolate chip mint and cotton candy. This was what I meant about you always thinking of others. It was a good point that I liked about you but I hoped you wouldn't get doped because of that. But then again, I'd be there to save you from getting conned from now on. You were mine to protect.

We left the ice cream shop with the ice cream we bought in one hand, your hand in my other. You started scolding me good-naturedly as we went into the supermarket, "You should have bought the ice cream after we've done our grocery shopping!"

I kept quiet, listening to you berating me. A smile was gracing my lips. I might have looked a bit weird, smiling when a girl was nagging at me like this. But instead, I actually thought it was hot. It was a very motherly trait of yours, like you were nagging at your (soon-to-be) boyfriend.

I took a basket when we were in the supermarket, the ice cream tub already inside it. You followed me obediently as I searched for the ingredients for dinner. I never let go of your hand and you never thought of releasing either. While I chose onions, you were staring at me and picking at the seam on the sleeve of my shirt. And when I was choosing the pasta sauce, you were at the opposite shelves, choosing and picking candies. The basket was filled with half of your chocolates and I gave you a look. You smiled timidly at me and I shook my head, chuckling. I'll let you off this time.

"The ice cream's melting, Kai! Quick!" You urged me as we walked towards the cashier. You were dragging me but I was lagging behind, strolling leisurely.

"All in good time, princess," I mocked. We were finally at the cashier and she started ringing up the items. I nudged your arm gently. You gave me your attention and I invited you to stay over tonight.

"It's a school night, Kai..." That trail at the end only meant that you were saying what was right even though it was something you didn't want. I knew you wanted to stay over, too.

So I pushed, "I'll give you a ride to school tomorrow? And it also starts late, doesn't it?" You weren't saying anything and I was certain the deal was done.

Everything was set. You were staying over tonight and you were going to be labelled as my girlfriend when morning comes tomorrow.

"You're supposed to be helping me out, you know," I told you while I was peeling the onions and you were playing with my dogs.

"You said it yourself that you wanted to make dinner for me, Kim Jongin."

Just you calling me by my real name was enough to make my heart beat fast. There was something about the way you said it that felt so endearing and affectionate. No one really called me by my real name except my family. Chanyeol and you, too. But no one had ever said my name so smoothly and prettily as you did. I liked you calling me; my real name or not.

I sighed, pretending that I was regretting my decision. You laughed and I heard you walking towards to me. I felt your heat, close to my back and I turned to see you peering down at me peeling the prawns. My hands were working on its own as I stared at you. I leant in quickly and pecked your temple. You were taken aback, staring at me with huge eyes. I had a naughty smirk and you looked away.

"You need to stop that," you mumbled.

I went back to focusing on peeling prawns. I confirmed, "Stop what? Kissing you?" Can I? Can I really stop doing that? I shook my head, "I don't think I can. You're too addictive."

You turned around and pointed at me. You shook your head at my dogs, "Your father." And then you pretended to gag.

I laughed, bumping your hip with mine, "Stop that."

"I don't think I can," you mocked. "It's too addictive."

You were a smart one, weren't you?

We continued talking as you kept me company while I prepared to cook. At one point, you brought Jonggu up to my face. My pet and I had a stare down before he stuck his tongue out to my nose. I groaned and wrinkled my nose. I used the back of my dirty hands to wipe off the slobber, but it wasn't that effective. You sniggered at my demise before pulling up my shirt collar and wiping my nose with it.

"There's something called tissue, smarty," I rolled my eyes at you. I liked gentle actions like these and I liked it even more when you were the one doing them to me. But I wasn't going to tell you that now. Not yet.

"It's your dog," you rebuked, bumping my shoulder.

While I mixed the ingredients, you went to shower. And once the pasta sauce was cooking, I went to take a bath too. I came out to see you stirring the sauce, your hair still dripping wet. Since I didn't have a hairdryer, you couldn't dry your hair as how you normally did at home. So to make up for that, I walked towards you and dried your hair with the towel that was hung around your neck. I was gentle as I pressed the ends of your hair between the towel. I massaged your scalp softly, afraid to hurt you.

You turned your head to me to stare at me. I glanced at you and smiled, "I don't want you catching another cold."

"You should dry your own hair too," you murmured.

You slapped my hands away from your head and reached for the towel around my neck. You started drying my hair roughly. You tousled my hair with a lot of strength and I yelped in pain. You giggled, finally lessening your strength. I glared at you like a strict mum and you grinned back cheekily. Seeing the sauce in the pot starting to bubble behind you, I leant in to turn off the stove. I could feel your chest rising up and down against my own. It was a new sensation that made my heart beat against my ribcage. 

You smelled like me, since you used my shampoo. I could still smell the sweetness of your scent in the minty smell of my shampoo though. It was your scent, something I associated with you. And I loved that smell. When I had enough of the intimacy (which wasn't very long since I didn't wanna be a creep), I returned back to original position. We prepared to eat; you went to hang out towels and I set up the table. You were taking pretty long, so I assumed you were tidying up my room. You liked to do that when you came over because I was always too lazy to pack my stuff. It made me realise how much I liked you, how much I noticed you. You were perhaps the only person I liked to observe. I wanted you to care for me like this. I wanted to be the only person you'd care for. I wanted you to be mine.

And I had my mind set since the moment I met you today— No. I had my mind set since the moment I met you for the first time.

You came out of the room and rushed to eat. I chuckled absentmindedly as I went on to chat about things. I knew I was rambling but whenever I stopped, I felt like the atmosphere would turn awkward. And I can't have that happening if I was going to confess to you tonight. We were soon done with dinner and you were washing the dishes as always. I was too busy thinking of how to confess to you to even admire you as my imaginary housewife as I always did.

I was running my hand through my soft hair for the nth time when you sighed, closing the faucet and facing me. "Kai, what's going on with you?" So you noticed.

I swallowed, stopping and shrugging at you to appear nonchalant. But you weren't taking any of that. You glared at me, your hawk eyes telling me to spill it. I deflated as I walked closer towards you. It's now or never, right? You were giving me a chance to say it now. I gotta do it.

You reached out your hand towards me but I quickly grabbed onto your wrist. I accidentally pulled you too close. I was still holding onto your wrist when I brought our hands down. I stumbled over my words, "I..." I swallowed again. "I wanna— I was thinking— Ah... How do I..."

"Kai..." Your voice was calming to my ears. I took a deep breath and looked up at you fearfully. Your eyes seemed to soften as you asked innocently and worriedly, "What's wrong, hmm? Are you okay? Do you—"

No! I thought. No, I can do this. I wasn't going to chicken out. I was going to do this. I can do this. I can do this for you.

But noticing your wide eyes, I realised that I had voiced out my thought. Why couldn't I have done that with my feelings for you instead of that short outburst of 'No!'? I sighed, "I-I'm sorry. But I just wanna say— ask you something."

"Go on then," you chuckled lightheartedly. I felt even more nervous.

"I— Will you—" Breathe, Kim Jongin! I closed my eyes and followed my own instruction. With a clearer mind than before (which wasn't very clear but still), I was ready. My eyes were locked on yours and my voice was steady as I spoke.

"Do you wanna have movie marathon while we binge on ice cream?"

What? That wasn't what I meant to say! Ugh, Kim Jongin, you freaking imbecile!

Author's note:

So I was wondering if you guys want me to write chapter 09 & 10 in Kai's POV too or if you prefer new fluffy scenes of the couple.. So basically, chapters 1-8 of each POV would be the same day, same time. But the last two chapters of each POV would be different days, different time.

It would be great if everyone gives me feedback! Thank you!!!

Till next time
xoxo