[CONTENTID1]Starting now, I Love You.[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]

I love you,
words from the bottom of my heart.
I love you,
words that I would like to say again a thousand times.
Until now I haven’t give you anything,
so I want to give you more now.
Words which I would like to tell
to only you.

I drove Ara home from the orphanage later that night. At first I wasn't sure whether I should pull the old yawn move and put my arm around her shoulder, but to be honest, I didn't know exactly how she was feeling about me.

Granted, she'd given me the most wonderful gift I'd ever received, I knew it was like giving a piece of herself away. But Ara was the type of person who would donate a kidney to a stranger. So I wasn't exactly sure what to make of it.

Ara had told me once that she isn’t stupid, and I guess I finally came to the conclusion that she wasn't. She may have been . . . well, different . . . but she'd figured out what I'd done for the orphans, when she'd called it a miracle, I guess she was talking specifically about me.

I glanced at Ara sitting beside me. She was looking out the window with a peaceful look on her face, kind of smiling, but far away at the same time. I smiled. Maybe she was thinking about me. My hand started scooting across the seat closer to hers, but before I reached it, Ara broke the silence.

"Seung Gi," she finally asked as she turned toward me, "do you ever think about god?" I pulled my hand back. It took a moment for me to answer. "Sure," I said. "Sometimes, I reckon." I’m a Buddhist, I wanted to say.

"Do you ever wonder why things have to turn out the way they do?" I nodded uncertainly.

"I've been thinking about it a lot lately." Even more than usual? I wanted to ask, but I didn't. I could tell she wasn’t finished. "I know the Lord has a plan for us all, but sometimes, I just don't understand what the message can be. Does that ever happen to you?" She said this as though it were something I thought about all the time.

"Well," I said, trying to bluff, "I don't think that we're meant to understand it all the time. I think that sometimes we just have to have faith." It was a pretty good answer, I admit. I guess that my feelings for Ara were making my brain work a little faster than usual. I could tell she was thinking about my answer.

"Yes," she finally said, "you're right." I smiled to myself and changed the subject, it was far to be a romantic one.

Back then, I didn’t know about love.
Staying by the side of someone
I’m both unfamiliar and scared.

"You know," I said casually, "it sure was nice tonight when we were sitting by the tree earlier." "Yes, it was," she said. Her mind was still elsewhere.

"And you sure looked nice, too." "Thank you." This wasn't working too well.

"Can I ask you a question?" I finally said, in the hopes of bringing her back to me. "Sure," she said.

I took a deep breath. "Tomorrow, and, well . . . after you've spent some time with your father . . . I mean . . ." I paused and looked at her."Would you mind coming over to my house for Christmas dinner?"

Even though her face was still turned toward the window, I could see the faint outlines of a smile as soon as I'd said it.

"Yes, Seung Gi, I would like that very much." I sighed with relief, not believing I'd actually asked her and still wondering how all this had happened.

A couple of minutes later when I reached across the seat, I finally took hold of her hand, and to complete the perfect evening, she didn't pull it away until we were in front of her house.

I could see the lights in living room were still on and I could see scarecrow behind the curtains. I supposed he was waiting up because he wanted to hear how the evening went at the orphanage. Either that, or he wanted to make sure I didn't kiss his daughter on the doorstep.

I was thinking about that-what to do when we finally said good-bye, I mean-when we got out of the car and started toward the door. Ara was quiet and content at the same time.

Just as we got to her steps, I saw scarecrow peek out from behind the curtains and pull his face back. With some parents that meant they knew you were home and you had about another minute or so before they'd open the door.

Only now, I understand love.
Those days which I always pushed you away,
I said that it wasn’t love between us.
Thank you for the trust you have given me.
Looking back now, there are lots of memories,
I really didn’t know that was actually love.

Now I didn't know if Ara would kiss me; in fact, I actually doubted that she would. But with her looking so pretty, with her hair down and all, and everything that had happened tonight, I didn't want to miss the opportunity if it came up. I could feel the little butterflies already starting to form in my stomach when scarecrow opened the door.

"I heard you pull up," he said quietly. He looked tired than usual.

"Hello, Mr. Cha," I said dejectedly.

"Hi, Daddy," Ara said happily a second later. "I wish you could have come tonight. It was wonderful."

"I'm so glad for you." He seemed to gather himself then and cleared his throat.

"I'll give you a bit to say good night. I'll leave the door open for you."

He turned around and went back into the living room. From where he sat down, I knew he could still see us. He pretended to be reading, though I couldn't see what was in his hands.

"I had a wonderful time tonight," Ara said.

"So did I," I answered, feeling scarecrow's eyes on me.

"What time should I come over tomorrow?" she asked.

Scarecrow's eyebrow raised a little.

"I'll come over to get you. Is five o'clock okay?" She looked over her shoulder. "Daddy, would you mind if I visited with Seung  Gi and his parents tomorrow?" Scarecrow brought his hand to his eyes and started rubbing them. He sighed.