All happiness gathered from seeing Jiyong vanished the next few days, when Chaerin was forced to visit the Empress Dowager, and this time, being questioned again by her stomach which remained flat. The Empress Dowager was clearly unhappy, worried even, and all Chaerin could do was to act equally as worried, and say she did not know why she had not conceive yet.

Chaerin knew the exact reason why she wasn’t pregnant, but how could she say it in front of the Empress Dowager? She was taught from young that while there was a right time for everything, there was also never a right time to insult the King in front of his mother. Thus, Chaerin could only but held back the words lying at the tip of her tongue.

When she left the Empress Dowager’s residence that day, Chaerin, tired of all the insults she had to bear for something which was not her fault, was determined to confront the King that evening. She remembered Jiyong’s words in her mind, and knew then that he was right. For once in her life as Queen, she needed to be the strong-headed lady she used to be.

And so, that evening, the King was astonished when Chaerin began to say what she had in mind, telling him all that had happened to her for the past few weeks from the Empress Dowager. She mastered all courage to speak her mind, contradicting in process, every royal ethics she was taught from the moment she became Crown Princess. Chaerin did not stop. Even when the King gave her a look of suppressed discontentment, she spoke until there was nothing else left in her mind to say.

When she was finally done, she waited for his response. Her heart seem to have calmed down from when she first began her speech, but the moment His Majesty shot her a glare, Chaerin felt her heart doubling in speed again.

 “Let the Empress Dowager say all she wants. You don’t have to take it in heart.”

The answer from the King was a slap onto her face. After all she has said, that was what the King had to say? “Your Majesty!” Chaerin forced herself to swallow the bitterness piling in . “I cannot bring myself to believe you just said that. I—”

“It is not the time yet.”

Chaerin, appalled and astonished by the King’s nonchalant responses, scoffed in complete disbelief. By now, all fear of going against the most powerful figure of the country disappeared into thin air. Of course the King need not worry about this, no one would stop to blame him, because everyone would be too busy pointing fingers at her instead.

“Then when will it be the right time, Your Majesty? Because while you and I can both wait, the Empress Dowager and the whole nation cannot!”

The King’s eyebrows were furrowed together, his fists tightly clenched and his eyes avoiding the glares Chaerin was giving him. It was a moment later when he spoke again through gritted teeth, “Do you want it so badly?”

“It is not the matter or not if I want to, Your Majesty.” Completely aghast by how lowly the question made her felt, Chaerin nearly cried, “I have to! I don’t understand why you are so afraid. You are a grown man, the father of this nation. You call yourself the great leader of this nation, yet, you cannot seem to carry out even the simplest matter in your hand. This conversation is ludicrous, completely unbelievable! Your Majesty, you dis—”

Chaerin never finished her sentence, because she was silenced by the sudden crush of lips against hers. She felt the hands of another person exploring her back, enough to send chills running down her spine. She shivered at the sudden contact of his touch, but when reality hit her, as if by reflex, Chaerin brought her hands against his chest in futile attempt to push him away.

But the King stopped and pulled away. His eyes burned into hers as he snarled, “Why? Don’t tell me you are afraid?”

Without waiting for an answer, he brought his lips onto the side of her neck, a hand yanking the piece of white clothing from her skin within seconds. “Do not challenge me, my dear Queen,“ His voice sounded rasp, his breath tickling, “You asked for this—”

The weight of His Majesty now on her, she was pushed onto the bedspread. Chaerin could feel herself turning rigid, unable to prevent this from happening—indeed, she had asked for it—allowing it without pure consent, the touch of another human on her body.

For the first time in her life, Chaerin was terrified. And there was nothing she could do to prevent this from happening.

--

Hanging onto a single thread of hope, Chaerin wished with all her heart that one time was enough to grant the wish of the Empress Dowager. She prayed to the Heavens, to bless her again, and to grant her wish—but when four months passed, and Chaerin still showed no signs of bearing a child inside her, she was left being ridiculed again.

It was not a surprise then, when the Empress Dowager announced without hesitation to Chaerin, that she would be bringing in a Royal Consort for the King.

“Lady Kim is of noble blood, the finest of her clan. I am sure you will not be disappointed in her, jungjeon. She is well-mannered and demure, beautiful too. I am convinced the King would like her just as much as I do.” The Empress Dowager said, before adding cynically; “You can finally rest too, jungjeon. You will not have to worry so much then, since she will be able to fulfill the duty you have failed to. It is rather unfortunate that you aren’t as blessed as I thought you would be, jungjeon, since you are after all, a member of the Danyang House of Yi. But of course, do not feel disappointed in yourself, because I blame no one but the Heavens.”

When Chaerin returned to her residence, she cried into her pillow, letting all her anguish out. Even if anyone could hear her crying now, she wouldn’t care. Having being insulted by the Empress Dowager again and again was enough for her to break down, but she had kept it in with every remaining ounce of her might.

However, enough was enough.

Now that the Empress Dowager was bringing in a Lady for the King, someone she has never heard of, Chaerin could no longer accept her insults so graciously.

She had failed to keep the reputation of her family. She had failed her ancestors. She had failed her father.

At those thoughts which dawned into her mind, Chaerin began to scream.

--

“Your Highness?”

Jiyong reached the empty residence as asked again, and entered the chamber with stories about how his day went. However, when he set foot into the chamber and realized that Chaerin was breaking down in tears, all stories in his mind disappeared in a split second. Without hesitation, he rushed to her side. “Chaerin? What’s wrong? Are you alright?”

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