Lu:Kus

My Heart
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Title: Invasion
Genre: Fantasy/Sci-Fi/ suggested
Prompt Used: I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demigods and would-be gods; out of all of that, out of that whole pantheon, if I believe in one thing... just one thing... I believe in her.

 

 

Donghyun made his way down the gleaming silver hallway, his footsteps echoing into adjacent corridors and sending personnel scurrying from his path. A few cast questioning glances over their shoulders as they went, but none stopped to question him as he neared the Chief's deck. He was, after all, too high-ranking for them to speak to, and from his purposeful stride, they could tell he was on a mission.

Little could they know how important said mission was. 

Sixteen years ago the vessel known as the HWSS Ghunne set sail from its home port of Lirs, only one in a hundred ship fleet leaving their home planet of Broig behind in search for a new home. A terrible sickness had swept across Broig, bringing sicknesses and death to too many of their people. It had taken years for the scientists to learn what the cause was, and by the time they had been able to pinpoint that the poison came from the pollen of a plant, it was too late. The plant had taken over Broig, growing fast a mutating quickly in an almost intelligent attack on the Nysh race. Finally they had resigned themselves to the fact that they had to leave their planet and find a new one.

Donghyun had been but a young boy when the ships left port, but he had joined the Fleet as soon as he was of age and had climbed in the ranks with his cunning and hard work. When he'd been appointed to the HWSS Ghunne as an Air Lieutenant of his own ship, his family had been ecstatic but sad to see him go. His dreams were just beginning, though, so he went without complaint and with excitement in his step, leaving them behind on their homeship of Bohea.

Arriving at his destination, the tall young man ran his passcard on the scanner and waited for the door to admit him. When he entered the room it was to the sight of three more officers of the Fleet gathered around a projection on the table, as well as one priest in his dark red robes. The priest cast him a covert smile, one that Donghyun had to fight not to acknowledge. They had known one another as children and it was with surprise that Donghyun had resumed their friendship when he learned that Haewon was the priest serving the Ghunne. 

"Sir," Donghyun said, sharply saluting the older man whose black uniform was decorated with more silver buttons on the shoulders than Donghyun could even begin to covet. Each button showed how many worlds the man had been directly involved in conquering, and the young Air Lieutenant had yet to even gain one.

The older man looked up at him with a hint of annoyance in his bright blue eyes. "You're late, Lee," he growled, and Donghyun merely dropped his head in acknowledgement.

"Yes sir, I apologize." He could have added more in, excuses about how he hadn't even been informed of the meeting until after it had begun, but he knew that the Chief of Air would see them as just that: excuses. Haewon cast him a questioning look, but he ignored it, focusing on his commander and hoping that he hadn't missed too much.

One of the other Lieutenants gave Donghyun an exasperated look that he let slide off of him, knowing that the older man would find any excuse to heckle the younger Lieutenant. Donghyun had risen in the ranks quickly and there were many who thought he was too young for his position, the two Lieutenants present included in that list. He pushed their irritation aside and looked down at the map on the projection table.

An image of a planet floated there, its surface covered in oceans and forests and plains, and after a moment Donghyun realized what the readings on the scale along the side of the projection meant. He raised his own bright blue eyes to meet those of the Chief, whose bright smile was almost predatory. 

"Yes, boy," he nearly purred, "We've found us a new home."

Haewon moved closer to the table, stepping in to stand next to Donghyun but not touching him. It would not do for them to be seen friendly with one another in public. It would only lead to one or both of them being transferred elsewhere. The Nysh people were a stoic race, keeping emotion out of their daily lives and looking down on any who dared to show too much outside of their homes. The priest reached a hand down to draw a slender, black lined finger through the projection.

"The goddess will be happy here," he said softly, and Donghyun noted the way that Lieutenant Ku's eyes narrowed at the young priest.

"How can you tell?" Obviously the older man had something against Haewon; why else would he openly question what a priest of Zoagi said? Donghyun shook his head ever so slightly at the offense in the older m

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-Tigress-
I have dropped out of the competition BUT I will be continuing to try and do these prompts.

Comments

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-Yuan-
#1
Chapter 7: oooooh i remeber your one shot collection!
-Yuan-
#2
i saw a tiny gd in the poster i had to clicke
Amalya
#3
Chapter 8: Bahaha! This was decidedly cute. XD I had no idea what to expect when I saw the update but when I got into it, the whole thing kept getting more delightful. After that intro with the crappy mother anyway. Wench... Good for Hoya though! Especially because it led to such an interesting afternoon and friends after that.

You know me and magical creatures (especially the ones you introduced). hehe I was grinning like an idiot when they introduced themselves too. And Hoya's mental commentary was priceless. Yes, you can think the dragon is y, thank you very much. ;P lol And I really liked that ending too. Such a cute little change of pace from some of your more wrenching tales. ^_^

Great job my dear! <3
Amalya
#4
Chapter 7: D'aw! This was adorable! XD And I totally laughed out loud when Minjun's private side waved the white flag of surrender. So cute! haha

You set the stage so well with this one and it felt like a very believable world. His early home life made me cringe and feel all the sadness and then you filled it with life with his grandfather only to dash my heart against the rocks again. Poor thing. Two times over! Woman... -_- lol But it was interesting seeing his thoughts as he wandered through the house. Felt the loss while he observed and looked for food. When he finally decided to head out (the little details with the clothes were nice too), I suspected what was going to happen but I certainly wasn't disappointed when I was right. haha

I could picture everything at the supermarket really well too. Seeing Taecyeon as a cashier made me giggle but the whole scene with him bumping into the new doctor and whatnot made me smile. Especially the sly way he pulled the bulgogi back and mentioned pie. haha Touche sir. It also had a beautiful ending to a beautiful story.

The one thing I will add is that Minjun's name is missing a letter at one point. If there were other typos, I didn't catch them. Well done my dear! lol <3 A beautiful gift for someone indeed!
DGNA_Forever
#5
Chapter 6: Damn you...This was such a sad story! It was beautiful and I loved it, and it was wonderful how Baro loved him until the very end. This was one of the rare stories that made me tear up, so thanks for that lol...Great story<3.
DGNA_Forever
#6
Chapter 5: I loved how you turned this into a story about a girl and the bond she had with her horse. I could feel their excitement and also their pain while reading this. It was so different from anything else I've read on here, and it was refreshing.
ShimizuTheShizzShota
#7
Chapter 5: Okay that was really awesome, I have to say. And the prompt made sense after reading this, Ailee was so sweet with him. And I of course want moooooooooore in this world and plot T^T
Amalya
#8
Chapter 4: Well color me intrigued by more of the Nysh people. haha I certainly enjoyed the way you built the back story for them (including the effects of the poison and their home planet) and described why they had markings on their hands (potentially) as well as the color change in Haewon's eyes. Touche indeed. I'll agree with DGNA as well in that you do have a pretty good handle on science fiction since none of it felt forced and all fit quite nicely with what you were crafting in your world. In that line of thought, I think my only concern was just that, did they not have any sort of system in place to test the atmosphere before they landed on the planet? Or was it all just supposed to be faith (not gonna lie, I was really intrigued by the appearance of a prominent religious figure in the sci-fi genre and I'm a er for a Goddess in stories anyways) and blind luck that allowed them the ability to survive the next planet? That part was a bit fuzzy is all.

There were a handful of typos but those bloody things are just irritating menaces to be sure. The plot was otherwise solid and you've got a beautiful staging ground for further adventures. I really liked the tension you built into the scene as well, with the power struggles between the Lieutenants and Donghyun's ability to read all of their thoughts, essentially, as well as the manners of the Commander in turn. He handled himself with great aplomb and I giggled at his outward show of emotion at the end there. They kind of remind me of elves a little bit, with their constant composure. lol

Well done indeed and I certainly look forward to more of the Nysh in the future!
ShimizuTheShizzShota
#9
Chapter 4: Hmm that was very interesting. I like the people and the science of their planets and travel. They do make me wonder about their culture (suppressed emotions) and the markings on their hands (how do they get it, and are they born with it?), and all in all, I'd LOVE to see more of this O_O
DGNA_Forever
#10
Chapter 4: You really should write more space stories, because you're good at <3. I really liked this story, and the relationship between Donghyun and Haewon was sweet. I loved the end of it, since it offered hope.