[updated Oct 05th, 2014] this is a 2nd part of the updates.

I have updated 2 parts. In case, you haven't read, please make sure to read the first part, chapter 4 first.

I guess all the parts of the plot are completed. Epilogue should be in the next updates.

THANKS! :)

 

Edited: I added few more parts in this updates (conversation dialogue)! :) but story plot remains the same.

 

 

Btw, what happened in the 1st part... wasn't a dream.

 

 

 

 

 

Reminisce: my beyond & above A+

 

 

 

 

Donghae thought he was going crazy.

Because he didn’t know how long had he been fainted, but when he found himself woke up in a different room environment, he had been wishing real bad the day before he fainted were just a dream.

 

But his heart could still feel the pain... 

so hurtful and in a lot lot lot of pain.

He could still feel his tears that were threatening to fall down at anytime.

Because no matter how hard he tried to deny, he knew it happened.

 

And he cried because he regretted it so much.

It was extremely painful to lose someone he loved...so dearly.

 

He jolted from the bed, wanting to leave the room immediately but couldn’t do so as he was pressed back down by a nurse.

 

“let me go, please.”

 

“Just a moment, Dr. Park needs to check to make sure you’re doing fine.”

 

“But I’m fine!”

 

“You fainted for 2 days, Donghae ssi.”

 

2 days?

 

What had happened these 2 days?

He was stunned. What about Hyukjae?

 

“How about Hyukjae?”

 

The nurse looked puzzle for a moment. “Dr. Park is here!”

 

 

 

 

He was discharged on the same day as Donghwa was already there to pick him up.

But Donghae was feeling frustrated.

Because….. when he asked about Hyukjae, everyone changed the topic and it hurt, because Donghae fear of how he would be facing this reality from now on.

The reality that Hyukjae was no longer……..

 

Before he left though, he noticed a box of macaroon sitting prettily on the hospital’s room desk.

Thinking it must be from his older brother. He smiled bitterly. Picking up the box and held it tightly.

Because the memories came back.

 

If you were here, we could have share this together.

 

 

“Hyung?... where is Hyukjae?”

 

Donghwa remained silent, “In a place where you can no longer contact him anymore.”

 

Donghae thought life couldn’t get any worse.

Because the whole drive back home, all he could do was crying.

He wished he was still fainted.

Because facing this harsh reality was really cruel and hurting.

He missed Hyukjae…

 

And the thought of no longer hearing Hyukjae’s voices..

Nor eeing Hyukjae’s face..

Nor kissing Hyukjae’s lips..

Nor hugging Hyukjae’s..

Nor eating with Hyukjae…

Nor sleeping with Hyukjae…

Nor laughing with Hyukjae…

……It would only be part of his memories now..…

and that killed him and his inside so deadly.

 

So he broke down again. One of the many other breakdown in the future, Donghae knew that.

He didn’t know how long had he been crying…

And he didn’t even know why he had to wake up to face this reality.

He wished he didn’t.

 

What would he do from now on… without Hyukjae by his side.

 

 

 

 

* * * * * * *

 

 

 

He knew he deserved this since he hurt him first.

But he thought at least he deserved a chance to see his lover first.

Because the last time he saw Hyukjae…. Hyukjae was lying on the bed…. With the flat line of the heart rate machine…..

 

“I wanted to see Hyukjae’s….,”

 

Yoona replied nonchalantly, “No. We brought his everything to overseas.”

 

Donghae broke down, “H-huh?”

 

“Oversea. The place where there is no memories of pain or hurt. Please let him go.”

 

“No… This can’t be…., 2 days…”

 

“After you fainted, we managed to have many things done. You can visit him later if you want.”

 

And Donghae wondered how Yoona seemed so heartless.

Hyukjae no longer exist and she still didn’t allow him to visit his?

But Donghae knew… he deserved this treatment after all he had hurt the older and one of the main reasons why Hyukjae…….g.o.n.e

He would never forgive himself.

 

And he held back his tears until Yoona closed the door in front of his face. As Donghwa supported him by his shoulder.

 

“Bro, you’re okay?”

 

 

Donghae cried, “I’m not… hyung… I wanted him back… I wanted him alive…. I miss him….,”

 

The older brother could only took a deep breathe as he hugged his younger brother tight.

Donghae was already feeling eager to book flight tickets to go and greet his boyfriend. But the thought itself realy made his heart ached deeply.
It was just so hard... why couldn't Hyukjae just come back...
 

 

 

 

 

* * * * * * *

 

 

 

“I love you,”

 

Donghae still remembered that sweet confession Hyukjae had made to him, the loving words that always made him feel loved from the older at any time at any place.

 

Then the sweet kisses as he trailed his fingers all over his skins.

 

“I love you,”

 

“I love you, too.” He whispered back the same thing, knowing deep in his heart, he loved the man above him just equally much.

 

Skins against skins, sensual touches that sent both of them to cloud nine.

Attaching, the names that kept coming out of his lips..

As they became one.

 

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

 

“There are so many things I want to do with you.” He remembered the older telling him.

 

“We still need to travel this world together. I wanted to bring you to see this so much, baby~”

 

He remembered he was smiling, nodding as he couldn’t wait to share his future with Hyukjae. A happy ending.

 

“Wherever you may go, I’ll follow you.” He responded back to the older as he sealed the promises with another sweet kisses before going down to heaven again.

 

Love.

 

But it was then his fault to break it.

Because of the stupid fling.

He broke his heart.

He broke what they had.

Damaged the beautiful memories that he should have not.

 

Nothing hurt Donghae more than sitting alone and recalling back all those memories and learnt that Hyukjae could no longer come back.

 

 

The thing about break up is that, it can breaks you real bad. That you barely find the pieces to put it back together. Especially when the pieces that you thought you had already fade away.  

And Donghae learnt it the hard way that he could no longer correct it, to make things right again. Because Hyukjae was gone.

 

And he didn’t want to believe it.

 

The older’s beautiful face was still vivid in his brain.

His voices, he could still hear it clearly.

His smiles,

His love,

His kisses

His everything,

Donghae still remembered every touches of its.

 

But he knew it was too late and all he could ever do was to mourn back for all of those longing past.

That he should have treasured it.

And he cried his heart out.

Because now, there was no Hyukjae for him to run back to.

No Hyukjae for him to lean on.

No Hyukjae to pick him up.

No Hyukjae to hold the umbrella while walking together under the rain.

No Hyukjae’s voice calling for him.

No more text from Hyukjae.

No more phone calls from Hyukjae.

No more…. Hyukjae.

 

And it hurt, because he had so much more to do, to tell Hyukjae.

But there was no more Hyukjae to be there physically for him anymore.

 

He clutched his phone tighter as he dialed the number he remembered my heart.

 

Nobody answered.

His text no longer received response for real.

He cried, hugging his phone, staring at his screen that displayed the face of his lover.

 

“I miss you… please come back…. Please….” Donghae cried into his pillows, hands all clenching, hating himself so much.

 

“H-Hyukjae, I mi-ss you... Please….P-please…,”

 

But he knew deep down that Hyukjae was gone to a place that he could no longer contact.

The silent on the other side was killing him real bad.

 

And maybe he should let Hyukjae had his peace, too, but Donghae couldn’t help it. Because things happened too fast.

And his other half was no longer by his side. He wasn't ready for this...

He just wanted more times with Hyukjae.

Oh dear, god, if only his prayers could come true...

 

It hurt. It really hurt.

That Donghae wished he didn’t have to exist anymore.

 

 

 

 

* * * * * * *

 

 

He has been locking himself the whole day inside his room. Until at a certain time, something strike his mind.

 

He needed to go back to Hyukjae’s penthouse. Their penthouse. There were so many memories there he needed to recollect back.

 

 

 

“Awwww… I miss you,”

the picture ran in Donghae’s head again.

The image of Hyukjae back hugging him when he returned back from campus and he was at their penthouse waiting for Hyukjae.

 

“How was your day, sweetheart?” He asked.

 

“pretty much busy but it was great overall. How about you?”

 

“Good. Just I miss you,” and then he remembered Hyukjae’s dark chuckle as the older placed a soft kiss on his earlobe.

 

Donghae knew right there that he would never trade those for anything else.

Being in Hyukjae’s arms.

Being loved by Hyukjae.

 

But of course, he had to break it. Because of the stupid fling.

And now all was left was regret and sorrow.

 

Donghae stood in front of the door of their penthouse.

Remembering and recalling back all the precious memories, the countless lovely moments…. And the day he realized how stupid had he been to leave Hyukjae, that night when he came back to where he belong, to stand in front of the older’s door and waiting for Hyukjae to take him back.

 

That one night. Donghae still remembered.

 

He shakily entered the code and in his heart, hoping that Hyukjae would be somewhere inside although he knew it was a hopeless hope because Hyukjae wasn’t.

 

[Access denied.]

 

Donghae quirked his eyebrows,

Once again, carefully entering the precious sweet code that represented their anniversary.

 

The scanning machine beeped an error message before it displayed the same message as before,

 

[Access denied.]

 

Donghae was left confused for a moment till he decided to ring a bell instead and to his surprise, Siwon came to open the door.

 

“S-Siwon?”

 

Siwon chose not to say anything but stepped aside as he let Donghae in.

 

Donghae spotted Kyuhyun, Sungmin, Yoona, and Sora to be there along with Siwon as well.

 

What are they doing here?

 

“H-hi….,”

 

They greeted Donghae back as Sora stood up to hug the boy.

 

“What…,” before Donghae could ever say anything.

 

Yoona already interrupted, “Since Hyukjae oppa isn’t… you know, so we just come to collect things and move it back.. and have this penthouse a new owner….,”

 

Donghae felt his heart sank.

 

“New owner?”

 

No, no. He wasn’t ready to give away this place of memories to someone else yet.

Not yet. He still couldn’t let go of everything yet.

And he hated just how everyone seemed to let this goes so easily.

But again, Donghae knew that he had no place to go against