First Emotions of Love

❋

I pace back and forth at my desk anxiously. I've been preparing for a month for this important meeting. Ever since my boss made me handle his client list and prepare presentations for each client's request. It sounds easy enough but since Lotus is the most popular branding company, I have to make a compiled report on 150 clients and their requests. My co-workers say it's one of the easiest jobs to get since it doesn't involve calculations and what-not but who are you trying to kid here?! That's one-hundred and fifty client reports. And that's not the only work I do. I have to schedule my boss' meetings, appointments, meet-up clients, go up and down the floors to visit the different departments...  I probably have lost weight this month. 150 client reports, who the heck can do this in 30 days?! Apparently my boss thinks I can. I'm not the type of person that does things half-assed so I'm definitely not screwing up a single report. So far I've finished 144 reports. I'm looking at papers with one hand and using my other hand to search for the files and compile them. The meeting is in an hour. I can do this, right? I need some kind of support here...

"You okay?"

I look up and I see Jongdae is leaning on my desk and checking my laptop. I'm surprised and cover my desktop screen because I don't like showing unfinished work to anyone!

"What are you hiding? It's not like you're watching on here. Unless you are. Haha!" he jokes.

"No, I-I'm just finishing up the report. The one my boss assigned me to do last month when I started." 

"I see. You've been working hard this month, Junmyeon-sshi. You need a break. How about after work you, I and the others grab a drink?"

"The others?"

"Yeah. Kyungsoo, Jo Kwon sunbae, and a bunch of other guys from the other departments. You haven't met them right?"

"Uhh, no."

"Then that's settled! You're going out with us later!! Get your drinking glass ready, okay?"

Uh..that was sudden. There's no way I can get out of this and I guess it's fine. I'll be nervous to know what Jo Kwon's personality is like outside of work because at work he's really quiet and busy. But I won't be as nervous as I'll be in the next forty-five minutes! MY REPORTS!!

❋

The meeting ended without a hitch. I presented only the top 5 contributing clients during the meeting but I had to send the other reports to all the staff present in the meeting. Everyone was impressed at how organized my presentations were and I bowed to show that I appreciated their comments. They added some critique like using the company template and showing a more precise timeline but they praised me all the same. Maybe going out for a drink with the guys isn't that bad of an idea after all!

I'm back at my desk feeling relieved that my first major presentation was over and I can take the stress off that's been hanging on my shoulders for quite some time already. I lean back on my chair and stretch out my neck and arms to release the tension in my muscles. Man, I'm exhausted. 

"Suho-sshi."

Suho? I've heard that before. Wait... I've been called this before. I sit back up and my boss is standing in front of my desk with his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face. I quickly stand up and bow to him.

"Sajangnim¹!! I-I didn't see you--"

"Hey, don't be all in a panic. I just wanted to say good job."

"Excuse me?"

"You did well today. I'm impressed. You worked hard, didn't you?"

"A-Ah... it's nothing." I say as I scratch the back of my neck.

"Don't be so modest. You know what, I'll take you out one of these days... my treat."

"Oh! You don't have to!"

"Hey, I don't offer this to just anyone, okay? And you better not reject my offer. I don't take 'No' for an answer."

He leaves with a satisfied smirk on his face. It's not like I want to reject his offer but... going out with your boss? Just the two of you? Isn't this... odd? I dunno. I feel odd about going out with him. Oh!  I just realized. This... this is the first time he's complimented me. Ever since the confession of Mr. Wu Yifan, he and I haven't had a lengthy conversation. Everything he tells me is either an order or a favor. I actually don't know much about my boss except for the fact that he's... gay. I really don't know anything about my boss. This partly scares me.

❋

"Kunbae²!!" "CHEERS!" "This is Suho's last night. He's not gonna function after this!!"

Co-workers from different departments have gathered. We are about 6 guys. We've gathered at a samgyeopsal³ restaurant and ordered meat good for 10 people. I'm hoping we'll be going dutch⁴ because it will cost me my month's pay (which I just got today by the way) to afford these guys' appetite. We ordered 5 bottles of soju⁵ to share between two but I think we'll be ordering more bottles because the others can take in more alcohol than expected.

"So, Junmyeon-sshi... what's it like working for the most wanted man in Lotus?" asks Park Chanyeol, one of the staff from the social media team.

I attempt to understand the question by looking at Kyungsoo. He's the only one that seems to explaing things without cracking a joke like Jongdae. But alas, Kyungsoo is of no help since he just shrugs his shoulders and devours the meat in his bowl. 

"What Chanyeolie here means... your boss is called 'the forbidden fruit' by most of the girls in Lotus. You know that at least, right?" and comes in Byun Baekhyun, a staff that handles the music arrangement for our clients.

"I don't know..." I confess to them.

"You know very little about Wu Yifan, don't you?" asks Jongdae.

I nod my head feeling embarrassed.

"Your boss is a lady killer. Not in the literal sense but... ninety percent of the women in Lotus like him. Even now that he's married they still like him!" I hear Park Chanyeol speak loudly as he tries to talk over the other loud guys.

"That much I know..."

"Then you know his wife used to be his assistant?"

"Eh? Really!?"

"Yeah! Im Jinah used to be his first assistant. They dated only for a short while and then got engaged after less than a year. Good for him though, she's hot."

"Not as hot as my Taeyeonie~~" I can hear Baekhyun give his side comment... and I see Chanyeol giving him the side eye.

"But I heard recently..." Chanyeol continues, "...Im Jinah is the reason all of his assistants quit."

"No Kidding?!"

"Totally true!" Jongdae starts. "Last year I saw four girls just come and go! And each time, they left crying. And what they all had in common, Im Jinah requested their pressence in the bathroom to 'help her with lady stuff'."

"Whoaaaa..!!" 

I must admit that all of this is shocking but maybe it's just rumors. Maybe Jongdae is just exaggerating all of this. I'm sure the girls quit because the job wasn't to their liking. I don't think blaming the wife is the way to go here. I wonder...who here even knows Wu Yifan is gay? After the talk about Wu Yifan, they switched to listing down who is the hottest office staff among the girls. I see they must not really be interested with my boss.. or me, haha. I'm not that interested in knowing who they're ranking as their top hottie so I decide to just check my messages. I my messanger bag to get my phone and something's amiss. My phone isn't in here! I check each pocket, side pocket and zippers... not here?

"Guys, I gotta go! I left my phone at the office." 

"Heeeeey, don't leave!" "Party pooper!! You're so lame!!!!" "Is that just an excuse???' 

I put down a couple of bills and as they look on, they just wave their hands and let me leave. Ah, so that's all you wanted me to do, is it? I get it. I bow to my sunbae and wave goodbye to the others. I hope my phone is where I think it is!

 ❋

I come back to my building which isn't as lively as it is in the daytime. The security guard asks me why I've returned and I tell him that I came back to get my phone that I left. He escorts me to the elevator and I bow to him, thanking him as the doors close. 

Nine... Ten... Eleven.

I arrive at the eleventh floor. I step out after having noticed the office lights are still on. Who's still working at this late hour? I walk down the hallway which opens up to form a circle where our desks are positioned. My desk is over here at the right and I see my boss' office lights are on while the others are not. Is he still here? I notice a silhouette but then I see a second silhouette. Someone is there with him.

"You !!"

A woman's voice. His wife?

"Jinah, calm down."

And that's my boss.

"No! I won't calm down! You come home this instant or else!! I'll wait for your downstairs! If you don't come down in five minutes I'll leave you!!"

"Jinah, wait--"

The doors open and I accidentally fall backwards on my . Im Jinah looks down at me with a nasty glare and flips her hair as she walks away. She reaches the elevator and she enters without looking elsewhere. Wow... she's such a... no, I shouldn't say it. As I rub my aching bottom, my boss comes out the door and looks at the elevators. He sighs and drops his chin with an upset face. His eyes wander and locks with mine.

Oops.

"What are you doing here?" he asks me.

"Uh... I... left my phone..." 

The sudden realization prompted me to stand up quickly and run over to my table and look for my phone. Where is it? I look under my stack of papers and inside my drawers. Why isn't it here? I hear my boss laugh at a short distance and I see him go back inside his office. Okay, I know I look foolish so there's no need to laugh about it! I continue to search and search and as I'm about to give up my phone appears in front of my eyes. Whoa! My phone! I see that my boss is holding it before me. 

"Thank you very much, sir!" I say as I bow to him.

He just smiles and pats me on the shoulder.

"No worries. Consider it as an exchange."

"Exchange?" I ask him what he means and then I easily become well aware of what just happened a minute earlier, "Ooh. I'll keep quiet about this, boss."

"Thanks."

He smiles and turns around to probably continue working and I ask him.

"What are you working on, sir?"

"Hm? I'm actually not working on much. Just overseeing some branding proposals."

"If that's all you're doing, why are you still here?"

"I want to get away from my wife."

He laughs and I laugh along with him. I nod in agreement to his statement because there's nothing else to disagree on. His wife is like a monster. A beautiful and scary monster.

"She's waiting for me downstairs. I better go."

I watch my boss enter his office and close his lights. As he closes his glass door, he puts on his long dark brown coat, one arm and then the other. Since I have my phone with me and there's nothing else for me to do here, I join him. As we both step onto the elevator, he presses the ground floor button with bitterness written all over him. He doesn't want to go home yet and it's extremely obvious. The elevator is nearing the ground floor and I quickly press the second floor button. The elevator dings open and I grab my boss' arm and we run for the emergency stairs.

"Yah! Kim Junmyeon, what are you doing?"

"We're getting away from your wife."

I don't know why I'm doing this but seeing my boss look gloomy made me want to do something for him. I feel like a middle schooler ditching class for the first time. I know it's wrong but it does thrill me. The emergency exit takes us to the back of the building so we're sure his wife won't see us. My boss looks worried but I nudge him more and tell him to run faster. We run down the street and take the bus that had just arrived at the stop. We ride it not knowing where it will take us but we're happy to have gotten away without his wife seeing us. We sit at the very back and catch our breath. Luckily there's only an old lady sitting in the bus with us so we can let loose and take up most of the space around us. We look at each other while we're panting and we burst into laughter.

"You don't know how many times I've wanted to do this," he tells me.

"I figured out as much."

"Where are we even going?"

"I... don't know," I confess.

He looks out the window and observes the surroundings. He looks like he knows where this bus is headed. He tells me to get down at the next stop. I guess he'll be the one creating our agenda for the rest of the evening. We wait for the bus to reach the next stop and already the devil is calling for us.

"It's my wife," my boss says as he takes out his vibrating iPhone.

"Pick it up if you want."

He contemplates for a moment and presses the keys to turn it off. He looks unsure of himself but at the same time he looks a bit more free. It's like he's released himself from a caged life. I pity him. How long has he been locked away like this? My boss pats me on the arm and stands up. We must be at our stop. We get down and the street is full of open food stalls. 

"Why did we stop here?"

"I promised to take you out one day. Since we're here, I'll take you out."

"What?! No no no, you don't have to do that!"

I wave my hands and step back hoping I can escape from this burden but alas, my tall boss walks behind me and pushes me towards one of the pojangmacha⁶. Damn it... now I'm out with my boss... this is really uncomfortable. He orders some rabokki⁷ and two bottles of soju to start us off. He pours my glass for me and I immediately raise it up with my right hand while my left hand supports my right wrist. He then pours a shot for himself and we tap our glasses. I make sure to look away as I drink and I can hear smack his lips and make a hissing sound with his throat. I do the same of course. Our food is served and we both dig in. Running away can make a man hungry.

"Why did you help me run away from my wife?" my boss asks me out of the blue.

I cough on the noodles and take a sip of water before I answer him.

"Uhm...  I didn't want you to feel sad anymore."

"That's your reason?"

I lower my head in embarrassment. I hear my boss laugh hysterically and I pout. What else does he want me to say? After his laughter subsides, he gives another comment.

"You're really cute, you know that?"

He's eyeing me again. Uh... can you not look at me? He's making me nervous. I'm dripping sweat even though it's nearly twelve degrees celcius now. I wipe it off with the sleeve of my coat as I avoid looking at my boss and just take another sip of soju. 

"Suho... you're okay with me calling you that, right?"

"Yes... yes, it's okay."

"Thank you, Suho."

Damn it. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's probably just the alcohol. It surely must be the alcohol because...

...the more I glance at my boss...

...the more flushed my cheeks get.

 ❋

To be continued...

.n.e.x.t.

Author's Notes

[1] Sajangnim 사장님  = "Boss"

[2] Kunbae 건배 = "Cheers"

[3] Samgyeopsal 삼겹살 = Slices of pork belly (3-layered pork)

[4] Dutch pay 더치페이  = Divide the total bill between each other / pay for your own meal (the word they use in Korea)

[5] Soju 소주 = Korean liquor

[6] Pojangmacha 포장마차 = A tent that serves street food and alcohol. You'll be able to see this in most dramas.

[7] Rabokki = Ramyun + Tteokbokki

Okay. This chapter isn't that long and I apologize for that. I was hoping I'd make it even longer because Suho and Kris are supposed to have an even longer dialogue than what's written here but I realized the pacing would be all wrong if I inlcuded the long dialogue so I changed it. I had written up to the hangout scene and stopped from there because I didn't know how to write the next part where Suho overhears Nana arguing with Kris. LOL. Suho wanted to call her a but Suho is too nice for that. :)

This chapter's theme is "First emotions of love" and you probably can tell that at the end of the chapter Suho feels a little something. Yaaaaay! I'm excited to develop their relationship now. :"> If I have time, maybe I can write half of the next chapter already. 

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