Drizzle

Word count: 1,732

Summary: Luhan and Sehun waited so long to finally find each other again

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The heat of the summer air seeps through his nostrils as he takes a breath silently. Luhan notices the sky is a clear blue, white puffs floating, scattered around the canvas of endless horizon. It has been like this for long, he doesn’t remember how long. All he knows is that he’d wake up under an enormous oak tree everytime the sun is high on the sky, and he’d take a walk around to meet strangers that pass him by with a soft smile or even with a cheerful greetings. There are many people around, Luhan finds out, but at his heart, it feels so empty.

He stares at the road in front of him. It’s quiet, no vehicles are passing through. Truth to be told he doesn’t really recall the last time he ever saw a vehicle running around. Maybe there were some but he doesn’t really remember.

His heart aches. Just like how it would be everytime he stares at the street for too long. He never came to figure out why it will always feel like this everytime he’s at the sidewalk, staring at the middle of the street. A kind of pain will appear in his abdomen, he’ll lurch forward, and end up still not knowing why.

But one thing he notices is that everytime it happens, it will be drizzling.

===

Some said it’s a limbo, an endless world with endless days where you wander around trying to find the light. Some said it’s an afterlife, the place between life and death, where you need to find what holds your soul from being free.  At first Luhan never really believed it, but after he started to watch random people disappearing towards a light with a happy and contented look on their faces, he could only wonder when his turn would come.

It’s not that he doesn’t like being around. As far as he acknowledges, he feels rather calm and unburden walking along the side of the river, napping under the oak tree, watching people walking by, or just gazing over the horizon. But well, if from one side comes the calmness, then from the other side comes the loneliness. He’ll always realize at the end of the day that he feels empty. Like something is still missing. Maybe it’s because he hasn’t find the thing that still holds him from leaving. He wants to find it, he really does, but he has no clue about it at all. He never remembered how he got here at such a place. If only he remembers how he had died, he would’ve known where to start. But it’s all blank in his head.

Thus, he waits and waits.

Until one day, it’s all paid off.

===

Luhan meets Sehun at the side of the river.

The guy, probably a little bit younger than him, stares at him in an utter shock before he suddenly engulfs Luhan into his arms, chanting Luhan’s name countless times. Luhan was beyond shocked with the gesture, so he pushes the guy away from him and was about to give the guy an earful amount of scolding when he sees something in the guy’s eyes.

Longing.

“L-Luhan,” the guy says again, and this time Luhan widens his eyes because the guy is crying. Tears are falling from his droopy eyes.

“How do you know my name?” he asks in total confusion. Yesterday he was all alone, but today a stranger even knows his name.

“I – I,” the guy blinks away his tears, “I’m Sehun, you don’t remember me?”

Luhan feels so guilty but he has no idea who he is. “Should… should I remember?”

It takes a short yet deafening silence before the guy – Sehun – sighs heavily, wiping his tears away, and starts to smile at him. “You should. You really should.”

And it sets something inside his stomach, not the pain he used to feel, but something more… bubblier. “Okay.”

===

It’s impossible for Luhan to remember anything significant about Sehun. Apparently both of them were used to be someone special to each other back when they were alive. He had to admit, though, that if he really was someone very special to Sehun, then he must’ve been so lucky back then. Sehun is very warm hearted, kind, and what Luhan can’t stand for the most of times is how Sehun looks at him with so much love.

Luhan doesn’t know if he’s able to fall in love at such a place, in such a state. But he’s falling hard for Sehun. Although some part inside his heart tells him all the time that maybe Sehun doesn’t love him; Sehun loves the idea that he’s the ‘Luhan’ that Sehun had loved so much.

“What if I’m not him?” Luhan asks one day, when they’re sitting under Luhan’s spot under the oak tree.

Sehun doesn’t answer at first. “It has to be you.”

“But what if I’m not?” Luhan looks down on his laps. “What if… what if I was, but not anymore?”

When he looks up, he finds Sehun staring at him with that familiar warmth in his eyes. “Even if you weren’t you anymore, I’d still love you no less.” he says as he scoots closer. “And even if in any case we’re in each other’s place – even if in any case I forget everything about you, I’d still fall in love with you.”

As Sehun’s lips press into his own, Luhan thinks the sparks inside his body had ignited something from his memory.

===

It all comes to an end one day.

Luhan was walking with Sehun, hand in hand, crossing the street lazily when a white mini van speeds towards them. He can’t see who’s inside, but all he knows is that the van is only seconds away from hitting them. The back of his mind tells him that neither he nor Sehun can die twice anyway, but with all instincts, he chooses to push Sehun away from the danger.

As he had expected, there’s no pain entering his receptors as the van throws him a few meters away. He only gasps when he meets the asphalt, sprawled under the sun light. But then Sehun starts screaming his name in horror. And one familiar thing appears; drizzle.

And suddenly, just like that, everything comes back to him.

He sees two people walking across the street. He sees a white mini van rushing towards both of them. He sees one of them shields the other from the huge impact and thus he receives the harder hit from the van as he’s being thrown away. He sees the guy falls on the ground not so far from him, motionless, bleeding. The other guy comes around, taking the wounded guy’s hand into his, saying something he couldn’t hear. The wounded guy places his other free hand on his abdomen, pressing the wound. And Luhan feels it too. He feels the sickening pain he always felt most of the times.

“Luhan, Luhan,”

He tilts his head aside, finding Sehun’s eyes b with hot fresh tears. Luhan’s mind finally opens the door to his memories, and in a blink of an eye, Luhan remembers it all.

“You…” Luhan coughes, “you knew it all the time.”

Sehun nods brokenly. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“No, Sehun, I am sorry. Sorry for not… for not remembering anything sooner.”

Smiling although tears keep running on his cheeks, Sehun takes Luhan’s hand in his. “I love you.”

Luhan sees the light starting to appear a few meters behind Sehun. “I love you too.” he whispers. “How… long?”

Sehun tries to steadies his breath. “Forty two years.” he says, smiling eventually.

“Gosh. So long.” Luhan chuckles. “But you know, we don’t have to wait anymore.”

Nodding in agreement, Sehun leans down to plant the last and the sweetest kiss on Luhan’s plump lips, before he scoops his lover into his arms and carries him into the light. For forty two years Luhan unconsciously waited for Sehun to come, for forty two years Sehun had waited patiently to get Luhan. But now it’s over, the wait is already over. Sehun is here, smiling down at him, bringing him to the place where he knows their love will be eternal.

Thus, like that, Luhan doesn’t wait anymore. Luhan has his turn now, with Sehun.

===

“Luhan, Luhan,”

He stares up to Sehun’s horrified face, the younger’s eyes are already b with tears. The sinking feeling hits him again. So it’s really happening. He’s really going to die.

But weird, though, he doesn’t regret a thing. Well surely he does, there are still a lot he wants to achieve – after all he’s still twenty five, there’re supposed to be a bright future for him. But to remember again that he had saved Sehun in the last seconds, he feels a surge of relief down his spine.

“ – hun, S-Se – “

“Ssh, Luhan, d-don’t talk,” Sehun grabs one of Luhan’s hands and hold it tight as if his life depends on it, “someone is calling an ambulance, someone is calling for help. You’d be fine, you’d be fine, I promise you.”

Luhan knows that there are a lot of people not so far from them. But it feels like he’s all alone with Sehun, there’s just the two of them. He feels something wet hitting his face. He tries to open his eyes wide enough, and he notices that it’s drizzling. It was clear blue when he went out of the apartment, but now it’s a little bit gray.

A sickening pain suddenly kicks in right on his abdomen. He lifts a free hand, thanking God that it still moves, and places it on the bleeding wound on his abdomen, hoping it will reduce the pain. Nothing happens, though. It’s still hurting.

“Luhan, please don’t leave me, please stay, I love you.”

Luhan really wants to answer, but he only coughs blood when he opens his mouth.

“I love you Luhan. I love you so much.”

That’s the last thing he hears before he takes a deep, last breath.

===

“Luhan, right?”

“Yes…? How do you know my name?”

“I’m Sehun, Oh Sehun, from the art academy. You don’t remember me?”

“… should I remember?”

“Yeah, you should. You really should, though, since I’d be your instructor for the rest of the semester.”

“Well okay then.”

===