22 September.

Why is Hongbin staring at a box? Was the first thing that crossed the elder’s mind once he finished stretching his long limbs that rainy morning. Taekwoon had woken up a tad too late than usual seeing that the blinds were up. He didn’t seem to mind over the fact even when he’s usually an early bird. But his mind seemed to be mingling over the question, ‘How long has he been staring at that box?’

Maybe he was staring for too long because the second he thought he was just glancing, the younger boy had turned to him. He waved.

But there was no smile, Taekwoon had noticed. Why wasn’t Hongbin smiling?

“Well, you woke up a little late today, Taekwoon? Did you sleep well?”

“Yes.”

“Would you like to have some lunch with me?”

After quite a long time, Taekwoon suddenly felt nervous. Lunch. Outside the room? It could mean two things, he was getting worse and needed more medication or he was getting better and he was to be moved to the recuperation wing.

Either way, he didn’t like it.

“Okay.”

“Do you like today’s menu?” the man asked him.

A little nod.

“It’s quite rainy today. I thought you liked rainy days…but it seems like you’re a bit tense now? Are you alright, Taekwoon?”

“I’m fine.”

“You’ve been talking more these few weeks…and that’s good. It’s very good. And I see you’re a little more open to other people now. Did you like sharing rooms with Hongbin?”

His spoon of beef soup stopped in mid-air. He looked up and tried to find some hints from the man’s eyes. He knew this was about his progress, but where was this conversation leading to? He had wondered for a while. He put his spoon down.

Slightly, he nodded.

“That’s good. We also found out that Hongbin liked it too. He even said you were friendly. I didn’t know you could do that, Taekwoon. Did you two share anything? Conversations, maybe?”

“Some.”

“Dr. Wonshik had asked me of Trey Songz last week. Do you know who he is?”

His lips twitched a little. So Hongbin had talked about him.

Adorable, he had thought.

“Park Hyo Shin.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Do you know Park Hyo Shin?”

“Oh, the singer…yes. I actually like his voice. It’s angelic. Do you know his songs?”

“Wildflower.”

“Yes, that song is amazing, isn’t it?”

“Yes. Trey Songz too.”

“So you know him, Trey Songz?”

Taekwoon smiled. He nodded and looked out the window. He could hear the lyrics to his favorite songs from his idol pouring down with the rain. It would look beautiful if the words from the lyrics could rain down as the wind becomes the melody of the song.

His eyes drifted to the flowerbed closest to the window. The little flowers were lightly tapped with the rain as the weeds around them swayed to the rhythm of the wind.

“...am I in trouble?”

“Why do you ask that all of a sudden?” the man looked up.

“I’ve never seen a patient from the 2^nd phase area go out of the hall and come back. Am I getting worse?”

“Well that was too many words in a single sentence I’ve ever heard coming from you” the man smiled.

Taekwoon couldn’t help but glare.

“On the contrary. You’re improving, Taekwoon. So you need not worry. If you keep this up, you might get better in no time at all.”

For some reason, the man knew something was wrong with Taekwoon. But he wasn’t worried. He thought he knew what the cause might be. However, he had refused to ask before Taekwoon admits it himself. He didn’t say anything but he wanted to console him.

“That means I’ll get better.”

“Yes,” the man smiled.

“And I’ll be transferred.”

“Yes,” the smile faded.

His hand had twitched. He wanted to pat Taekwoon on the shoulder. He really wanted to when his voice changed a little mentioning he was to be transferred if he was doing better.

He really wanted to.

“I really like Wildflower.”

The sudden change of topic poked the man into consciousness. He pulled his hands from the table and onto his lap. It was a bit sweaty. Nervous?

“Could you get it for me?”

“The song?”

“Yes.”

“Of course. It’s been a while since you've asked of anything from me.”

The man looked at Taekwoon. He was watching the flowerbed again. After a while, a little smile manifested.

Taekwoon had smiled.

EXPERIMENT 3                                                                                                                    

“It’s been a while for the both of you, hasn’t it?” Dr. Wonshik said, smiling.

“Yes.” The young one answered.

“Are you excited?”

Lab Coat 2 asked Taekwoon as he patted the boy’s shoulder. Taekwoon nodded a little as he stared intensely at the floor. He wasn’t excited to be precise, but he wanted the two men in lab coats to be done with them and leave them alone. He was getting a little uncomfortable around them knowing the fact that he was to be transferred from his room if he progressed better.

“Well then, I hope both of you get along as usual and if you need anything, don’t forget to call for us. Taekwoon, all of your belongings that you wanted to bring along is in this box.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

As if it was a natural thing, the two kept quiet the whole few hours after the two men had left. Both agreed mentally that the silence was nice and that it was good. They both liked it. To show so, both did their own usual daily routines.

Taekwoon was filling up his notebook with lyrics and Hongbin was fiddling with some puzzle pieces. Hongbin was humming a tune and it seemed like Taekwoon liked it as he didn’t move to gesture to the younger that he was uncomfortable with it. Hongbin stood up after a few moments of glancing over to the other. He walked up to the sink and washed his hands. He looked into the mirror and fixed his hair.

“You know, you can write on the walls if you want. I’ll let you if you just asked me.”

“It’s okay.”

“Are you sure? Because I’m really okay with letting you do it. I like it.”

Taekwoon looked up and he saw that Hongbin was tilting the mirror sideways, revealing a short hand-written quote behind it. Hongbin had figured out the little spot he found for himself to write on, Taekwoon noted. He turned around just slightly to smile at him.

“This is in Japanese, right? How do you pronounce it and what does it mean?”

“Bu-ru-mu. It means, Bloom.”

“Bloom?”

The elder nodded.

“As in…flower?”

“Not just flower.”

“What other than a flower can bloom?”

Ever so naturally, the younger one his heels and walked to the other's side, slowly sliding to sit next to him. A little distance was left in between them for both their comforts but neither noticed it. The blinds were coming down.

“A person.”

“Really?” the younger yawned.

Was he still on the previous medication? Taekwoon had wondered.

“You do know you’re staring at me, right?” the younger had asked.

Taekwoon’s eyebrows shot up in surprise but he held his ground.

“I’m sorry if I’m being rude by yawning in the middle of a conversation, but I didn’t get much sleep last night. I couldn’t sleep well, is all, I think…”

“Why?”

“I’m not sure. Things keep popping up in my head and I-“

He yawned again.

“-I just remembered a lot of things. My brother, my cat, my room…my favorite ice cream…my brother used to get me vanilla ice cream if I couldn’t sleep at night…and, and we’ll eat on the roof loft…I don’t like the dark but the night sky was pretty that night…with, with stars and-“

Another yawn.

“-It was pretty…you should’ve seen it…and the moon, maybe you could write lyrics about that night…you know, like, or maybe, a poem…hyung looked so awesome that night. He told me I was the best little brother and…”

Taekwoon expected another yawn but it was quiet. Suddenly his whole body tensed as a soft-haired head landed itself on Taekwoon’s shoulder. A bit brown-ish, Hongbin’s hair, Taekwoon thought. Slowly, ever so slowly, his body relaxed. He was clueless of what to do next. He thought of so many things at a time.

Should he move closer? Should he lift the boy’s head up? Should he pick the boy up to his bed? Should he-

The boy stirred.

Holding his breath, he prayed that the other would calm down. Because if he didn't, Taekwoon wouldn't know what to do. But he did calm down, fortunately for Taekwoon. But to avoid from it happening again, Taekwoon decided to hum his favorite tune. It seemed like the younger liked it the first time he heard it, so he opted for that song. And out of all odds, he did like it. The boy sighed in his sleep as the song ended and his whole body calmed down, all the tense gone. Taekwoon thought it was alright by then, but there was another challenge for him.

What was he to do? They couldn’t possibly stay there for the whole time Hongbin was sleeping, Taekwoon had thought. His mind was at a lost. This was not something he had experienced before but his heart knew better. Oddly, he knew to slowly cradle the younger before standing up and then lift him in his arms.

Breathing softly, Hongbin hung onto Taekwoon all the more, finding a more comfortable position to sleep in. Unlike the younger, Taekwoon’s mind raced and his heart thumped aggressively. He didn't notice, but his breath slowly started to quicken. Maintaining his stance, he quietly put the boy down and tried to pry himself out of the other's grip. But before he could even grab hold of Hongbin’s arms around his neck, he out.

“Taekwoon, w-wake up. P-please, wake up, T-taekwoon…hyung! H-hyung, wake up…Taekwoon hyung...”

A quiet voice spoke. Taekwoon didn’t know who it was but he was sobbing, dreadfully sobbing for him. Taekwoon panicked in the darkness. Someone was crying for him, he had to get up. He wanted to but even when he opened his eyes, it was still dark. Fortunately for him, he was accustomed to the dark so he noticed his surroundings.

He was in bed. Not his bed as he recalled, this is the original bed in the room. On the bed, he was alone. Where was Hongbin?

“Hongbin? Where are you?” he whispered through the darkness.

The sobbing he heard before had quieted but it was still there.

“H-hyung! I'm h-here…h-here, hyung…help m-me,” Hongbin’s voice quietly echoed from a distant.

It was Hongbin who was sobbing earlier. But why was he sobbing? Taekwoon tried to answer his own question in his mind as he tried to navigate himself in the dark. Almost blind, Taekwoon hit the leg of the bed. Hongbin whimpered in the distance.

Hongbin was scared of the dark, Taekwoon had remembered. Not just scared, but terrified. He panicked the moment he heard Hongbin resume his sobbing as a loud thud came from outside of the room.

“Hongbin, where? Talk to me. Let me hear your voice so I can come to you.”

“H-here. In the far corner…I don’t know which…but it’s, i-it’s near to your box.”

Taekwoon tried to remember where he put his box last. The right corner? Or was it the left corner of the room? He couldn’t remember right. But he tried to find his way, nonetheless. He reached out for anything his fingers could touch. Another thud came from outside. It was getting louder and it scared Hongbin.

“H-hyunggg…h-hurry” the boy whimpered, still sobbing.

“H-hongbin, how bout we try to hum the tune of a song? Maybe ‘Wildflower’? It'd help me find you faster. Can you hum the tune for me?” Taekwoon tried to calm the boy down as he tried to find his coordination.

“O-okay..”

Quietly, Hongbin tried to hum in the dark. Taekwoon sighed in relief when the trembling voice he heard earlier was calming down a bit. In the meantime, he walked against the walls, trying to follow the sound of the humming. He ventured two corners of the room and Hongbin wasn’t there.

Before the last, he found the younger crouching on the floor, his arms wrapped securely around his legs. The more Taekwoon focused on the boy, he could make out his outline. Hongbin looked timid, fragile, even. Taekwoon could even see that the boy’s eyes were tightly shut. Streaks of tears that streamed his cheeks earlier were almost visible, too.

Taekwoon meekly smiled and sat quietly beside the humming boy. Unknowingly, he stretched his arm out to the other side of the boy and pulled him closer. Hongbin's shoulders tensed and his humming stopped abruptly upon the sudden touch.

“Hey, it’s me. It’s me…Hongbin, it’s me.”

“H-hyung.”

He let go of his legs and wrapped his numb arms around the elder, burying his face in his chest seeking for comfort. Taekwoon had been shocked by the boy’s actions so many times before that he was almost ready for this. For sudden affection.

Regardless of so, it took him a few moments before his body unraveled itself and his heartbeat slowed down. Thankfully, his mind helped him decide to pat the boy’s shoulder to soothe him. He didn't know why he did it but he pulled the younger closer and continued where the humming was left off.

After a while, they both calmed down. The light was still out and it didn’t take much for Taekwoon to realize that this was a part of the experiment. Though he opted to keep quiet and continue to soothe the younger one who was still clinging onto him.

A few times, the boy looked up and opened his eyes to confirm that the one he was holding was still there, conscious and breathing. The elder would pretend to not notice it but it was inevitable. The outline he made of the boy was getting more visible as he is more accustomed to the dark than Hongbin. He could make out that the boy was smiling at him as he looked up.

“Is it okay if I call you hyung?” Hongbin said after a while.

“...sure,” Taekwoon had whispered.

“You are older than me, right? But how old are you?”

“22 this year.”

“I’m 19. We’re 3 years apart, so I can call you hyung. It’s only right, right?”

“Right.”                                                                                    

Briefly, silence blanketed them again. Hongbin was uneasy by it, Taekwoon noticed. He also noticed that the boy tried to talk about random things like their age and birthdays to ignore his fear for darkness.

Taekwoon was slightly amazed by Hongbin’s courage to overcome his fear so he tried to do the same. But for a man who likes silence more than anything, what would he talk about? His eyes darted to the walls. He couldn’t pinpoint it at first but then he noticed that a faint glow was seen behind the small sink mirror.

The glow in the dark markers.

“Do you want to try something?”

“Does it involve me moving about in the dark?” the younger squeaked a little.

“Just by a bit."

“Will you be doing it with me?”

“Yes.”

“...okay.”

Taekwoon reached for his box on the other side of the younger and felt for his belongings. Because it was all he had, even though it was just markers and sketchbooks, he knew everything by heart. The ones with the slim tip were the glow in the dark markers. He took one out and handed it to Hongbin, placing it neatly in the boy’s writing hand, which was clutching Taekwoon’s right arm. The boy looked down and Taekwoon could sense that he was a little confused.

“Come on, just turn around, face the wall.”

Gently, Taekwoon guided him and helped him move from his numb state. He took another marker for himself and started to write. He wrote in Japanese, ‘Bu-ru-mu’. Quietly, he looked over to the boy and smiled.

“Can you see it?”

“’ Bloom’” he nodded just slightly.

“Now you try.”

Hongbin faced the wall, took a few seconds to think and he reached out. He wrote, ‘Light.’ He wasn’t an expert in English but he knew a few words from his brother, who majored in English.

“Light,” Taekwoon said as he stared at the word.

Taekwoon turned to look at the boy and he stopped breathing for a second. The soft, dim light radiating from the words they wrote traced lightly on the perfect angles of the figure sitting next to him. He looks breath-taking, Taekwoon had noted.

“You’re staring at me again.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I just realized that you have this habit of staring at people without saying anything.”

“...sorry.”

“Stop saying that. I’m fine with it. I kinda like it. It reminds me of my brother. Unlike some people who would most probably think it’s uncomfortable, it's comfortable for me.”

Taekwoon knew about Hongbin’s brother a bit courtesy of Lab Coat 1 but he wanted to know more. Like everything else that’s been stirring inside of him when he sits with Hongbin, he wanted to know more of the boy’s past. Though Taekwoon wasn’t the type to be busying himself with others’ life, present or past for that matter, he quietly admitted that he wanted to cross his strings with Hongbin’s, peculiarly so.

But he knew from the slightest glint in the boy’s eyes that he didn’t want to further the conversation anymore. So he wrote on the wall,

“Are you okay?”

Hongbin read and smiled just a little before replying right under it.

“I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

Quickly, the elder wrote, “I’m sorry if the topic I had led had somehow bothered you.”

“It didn’t. I’m just a little bit sad remembering things about my past.”

“Your past?”

“My brother, in particular. And my cat.”

Seeing that the boy was opening up to him, Taekwoon tried to pry a little from a small part of his past. It was only fair. So he wrote,

“I had a kitten once, but she ran away.”

“What was her name?”

“Yuki.”

“That’s a pretty name. I see you like the Japanese language. That is, Japanese, right? What does it mean?”

“Snow. Because she had white fur.”

“Mine was velvet black all over and her name was Beanmi. My brother named her. He found her in the park one day and he took her in secretly, prepped her and gave her to me on my 16^th birthday.”

“Beanmi. Why did he choose that name?”

“Weird, isn’t it? He said ‘Bean’ was for me, the nickname he made up when we were kids and mi was as in ‘mine’ in English which means his. He wanted to name the cat after me because I was his only and best little brother ever.”

“He loves you very much, doesn’t he?”

“Loved. He... died when he was trying to save Beanmi from getting hit by a car. He died protecting her... but she didn’t survive for long. She got injured during the hit and she survived a few days... but then she died too.”

There was no more space then, to continue their conversation. It had reached the floor. If they wanted to continue it, they had to move to another spot. He knew that the conversation ending there would be awkward for both of them. As heavy as his heart was, Taekwoon tried to look at the younger.

Their long conversation had lighted the room a little and it glowed against the younger’s skin. It was streaked with tears.

“I’m sorry.”

Those 2 words were the only things Taekwoon could come up with at the moment.

The distance in between them was null as a result from earlier but Taekwoon hadn't notice. He was just concerned he couldn’t come up with anything to do to comfort the other. He knew it'd be fine if he just patted the boy on his back to soothe him, to tell him it’s alright, but he couldn’t seem to do it.  Instead, he took a few breaths before contemplating whether he should or should not pull the boy into his arms.

But he did.

His arms found their way around Hongbin ever so naturally and he pulled him closer. Not knowing what to say, he used his other free hand to write on the floor surface where the boy was staring at as he quietly weeps.

“The doctor that attends to me said I had slight Glossophobia and Anthropophobia when I first came here. But somehow, I found my own way to heal myself after he let me write all over the walls in my room. After he figured that I was talking a bit more than usual thanks to all the writing I did, he let everyone do the same. It helped me with my Glossophobia, which was a fear of public speaking. Or speaking at all, in my case.”

The boy cuddling in his arms sniffed as he read the words.

“Then what about your Antro- something?” he looked up at the elder.

“Anthropophobia. Fear of people. I used to get verbally bullied by some people in middle school. My sister passed away during those years. So I really had no one to talk to as my parents split after that. They were too sad over her death to care about me and my problems.”

“That’s when you started to hate people...?”

“Not hate. Fear. Too many pushed me away, shunned me, so I got scared of trying. By the end of high school…I got admitted here for not talking regularly or have a social life like everyone else. The only friend I ever had through those years was my kitten. But even she ran away because I rarely talk to her.”

The younger snorted a bit, giggling at the unconscious joke Taekwoon had made about his lost kitten from the past.

Quietly, Hongbin crept closer to wrap his arms around the elder just like it was done to him before. He found himself just the comfort he needed in a single position. Even when he knew that elder slightly tenses when he does so, still not accustomed to it, he didn’t budge. Not even once.

“I’m sorry, for all that you’ve been through. I thought only I had it rough. But I guess I was wrong…seeing that this is an asylum, everyone must have had it rough too.”

The elder looked down at the other and found himself secretly smiling.

“And I’m sorry, too, for your shirt. It’s kind of wet now because of all my crying. Thank you though, for giving me just enough comfort to calm me. If you weren’t here, I thought I might have out again.”

Taekwoon smiled.

These days, he always finds himself smiling at Hongbin. If not him, it would be at his words or his actions. Either way, the boy always succeeds in making him smile.

“Wait. Did you... did you faint when you fell on my bed?”

The younger suddenly inched back to look at the elder's face.

“What do you mean?” the elder spoke after his long silence.

“I tried to move you off of me as I woke up but you didn’t even budge and you were sweating quite a lot. And it took you a while to get up as I screamed for your name when the lights went off. I almost out but then I heard you calling my name. Did you... faint or were you just really tired?”

The concern in the younger’s voice made Taekwoon waver upon lying about not blacking out as he tried to lay the boy down. He was too embarrassed to admit that he did. Who wouldn’t if the reason was because he was not used to skinship or intimate touches? Especially if it involved skin. He only went through it once and it was Hongbin who ignited it too.

He didn’t really mind clothed touches but direct skinship is just a little too much. It even took him a few months to settle on the clothed touches and that was with the help of his doctor, an expert, not an innocent 19-year-old kid.

 “I kind of did pass out.”

“Why? What happened? Did something happen when I slept?”

He whispered a quiet ‘no’ but didn’t say anything to back himself up. Feeling uncomfortable by the stare that the younger was giving him, he sighed and inched away a bit. He was getting shy about the whole thing.

“You were too close. You were touching me a whole lot when I... when I lifted you to the bed.”

“So, you were…shy?”

“That, and I didn’t know what to do.”

“What to do? You could just lay me down and that’s it,” Taekwoon heard Hongbin said with a little smile.

“But you hugged me... and your breathing was against my neck.”

“And now? Isn’t it the same?”

“I’m still sweating and breathing weirdly...” he whispered.

Hongbin lifted his hand to feel the sweat on the elder’s neck but the moment their skins touched, Taekwoon flinched. It was quite clear that he whimpered a little.

“You are…you don’t like being touched, do you? Is that a part of your Anthropophobia? All these intimate touches?”

Taekwoon nodded just slightly.

“I’m sorry…” Hongbin had said as he let go, putting his arms back to his sides again.

“It’s okay. I’m still trying... and you’re helping.”

“I am…?”

Taekwoon nodded again. If the lights were on, it would be impossible for Hongbin to not see the blush that arose on the elder’s cheeks. His hands were still quite sweaty but he let them be on his own knees.

“I’m glad.”

Taekwoon’s heart would easily jump off of the building if it could because right then, Hongbin’s hand were on top of his. It was gently laid there, ever so quietly. Checking the elder’s expression that was dimly lit in the dark, Hongbin came a little closer, closing the gap between them once more.

“Is this okay…?”

A slight nod.

Slowly, Hongbin put his other hand on Taekwoon’s chest, feeling his heartbeat. Taekwoon tensed a little at the sudden touch. It was irregularly fast, Hongbin had noted.

“Then is this okay?”

Hongbin leaned in and left a little peck on the elder’s cheek. Taekwoon’s breath hitched. He could feel a bead of sweat trickle down his spine. Whether it was the room that got even darker than it already was or it was Taekwoon that had out.

Again.

A/n: Sorry it took me a while but I have finals coming up so...
         I only updated because I was sick of studying already and it felt right as Bean's birthday is tomorrow, the 29th. 
         So what the heck, right? Right. Okay. Hope you guys liked it :)