“What’s wrong with me? I completely snapped at him. I feel so two-faced, lashing out at him and then being nice to Luhan-oppa a minute later. I’ve kept all my emotions under control and then he spoke to me and everything just went to hell.”

Chanyeol grazed over Soyu’s message and tried not to frown while he typed out a response.

“Don’t say that. Why was he looking for you though?”
 

There was a vibrate as soon as he lowered his hand.

“I don’t even know.” Her distress was clear as day, even through the phone. It actually was worth worrying over that Soyu of all people lashed out (“It’s too much effort to raise your voice and be angry” as she put it.)

“Yah, cheer up. I’ll buy you more milk tea, okay?” Had they been engaged in a physical conversation, Chanyeol undoubtedly wouldn’t have been able to restrain himself from pinching her cheek. But at that moment, he only had to try his hardest not to smile like an idiot to himself in the car full of other people.

There was an unusually long pause before his phone buzzed again.

“...oppa. You know I’m not a child, right? You can’t just bribe my good spirits with food.”

Another brief pause.

“But I’ll take that milk tea as a promise.” Without fail, that cheeky childishness to Soyu showed every so often — and it still caught him off guard as much as it amused him every time.

Chanyeol couldn’t help but burst out laughing in the midst of the silence in the van and got a few raised brows and several “what are we going to do with you, Park Chanyeol?” looks and a displeased glance up from phone (courtesy of Baekhyun, of course).

Soyu subconsciously puffed out her cheeks and directed her gaze out the window, watching the urban lights as they drove. For the first time since she had signed for role, she was wondering what she had gotten herself into.

The EXO-M members were usually pretty quiet during rides, most of them slipping in their earbuds or taking quick naps between their hectic schedules, which only made more room for Soyu to contemplate.

She wasn’t pinning necessarily a vendetta, but Baekhyun, her history with him and the tension was constantly looming over her. That being the case, she really had to get herself together; she couldn’t avoid him forever, because it would seem awfully rude to pay mind to ten out of eleven members, and also because she would never move on if she couldn’t even have a normal conversation with him.

At least she had milk tea to look forward to.

Baekhyun watched, bitter and awed all at the same time during the filming; from the scenes out on the street of Sehun and Soyu acting out a fight, ending with her begrudgingly trailing far behind the maknae, arms wrapped around herself to brace the cold night as she followed him into the café, all the way through the dance sequence, Baekhyun felt the urge to either lecture or punch his dongsaeng. Moreover for the cold way he had to treat her or for dancing so closely together, he wasn’t sure.

She certainly was no Kai or Lay and her dancing wasn’t quite on par with Sehun’s either, but the choreography and the way she executed every turn, every pop, every body roll was graceful.

Soyu wasn’t idol material, but the director and PD were satisfied nonetheless. If Baekhyun hadn’t been invisible (and therefore free to see Soyu interact and get along well with everyone else), he would have been surprised with her acting ability. She also wasn’t much of a skinship person — unless that had also miraculously changed — or she was actually just very professional about dancing so closely and being touched by Sehun (who, once off camera, was quite possibly more flustered than her).

Maybe she just didn’t mind because it was someone as handsome as Sehun; the thought of Soyu being starry-eyed over the maknae made Baekhyun want to grimace and snicker at the same time. Sehun had been awkward enough before the start of the shoot when he had addressed her as Soyu-ssi and she told him to just call her Soyu or noona, it probably wouldn’t have done much good even if Soyu was going to swoon over him.

“Yah,” someone nudged Baekhyun out of his seething, “doesn’t your face hurt?” It was D.O. who had his brow arched.

Baekhyun didn’t realize how hard he had been clenching his jaw until he let out a “huh?” at Kyungsoo’s inquiry, the dull ache instantly settling in.

“You’ve been clenching your teeth so your face was unusually stiff.” D.O. mused and rested a reassuring hand on the back of Baekhyun’s neck. “Are you not feeling well?”

He exhaled, something between a sigh and clearing his throat, “Maybe. Maybe I caught a cold when I was outside.” He did his best to laugh and sound cheeky.

D.O.’s reassuring grip turned into a shove at the back, “Everyone’s been outside, don’t be the only one to go get sick. And look at Soyu-ssi, she’s wearing the least out of us all and she’s still okay.”

Baekhyun’s gaze automatically wandered to Soyu who sat at a table with Chen, Luhan and Sehun on the other side of the café; the way she sat, one leg crossed over the other with Chen’s jacket draped over her shoulders made her a little more than appealing. She looked good in that dress, complete with relaxed poise in the way that she leaned back fully as she sat, sliding down slightly in her seat while she singlehandedly scrolled through her phone.

Baekhyun had to mentally punch himself to look away, and the image of Soyu distorted, her face replaced by Taeyeon’s — because that was who really mattered. Either that, or Soyu’s “idol” persona and image was developing at an alarming rate. (Though if Baekhyun knew anything about being an idol, it was more or less the work of the coordinators and maybe lighting. It was also possible that it was just an illusion painted by her aura feeding off of the number of EXO members.)

Chanyeol was at the counter with Kai and his sister who had been kind enough to be taking EXO and SM staff coffee orders half past 11PM on top of loaning the company her café. He got on with her well, mentioning how she was like his own noona and asking questions about latte art, but he hadn't missed the way Baekhyun hardly took his eyes off Soyu.

Even though she was seemingly distracted on her phone, Soyu’s awareness was on fire and she could distinguish the moment Chanyeol shifted his attention from Baekhyun to her. She looked up in time to meet his gaze and set her phone down, briefly rolling and squaring her shoulders before she stood up.

The way she walked casually but carefully (as to keep Chen’s jacket on her shoulders) got several pairs of eyes to follow her on her way to the counter. Kai’s sister smiled as soon as she approached, perhaps happy to be able to interact with a “customer” who wasn’t just going to camp at the counter and try to pry information about her brother or EXO as a whole.

“How’s the milk tea?”

“It is fantastic.” As a milk tea and general coffee/drink connoisseur, she was genuinely pleased. She nudged Chanyeol a little, “Oppa, just bring me to eonni’s café next time, yeah?”

Kai’s sister raised her eyebrows a little, “Asking your oppa to take you out?” Her tone suggested something of teasing and honest curiosity.

Kai straightened from leaning on the end of the counter, tensing slightly but looked exasperated nonetheless and muttered a “noona” that was drowned out by Soyu’s and Chanyeol’s laughter and Chanyeol’s flustered “it’s not like that.”

“Ah, but you two are cute.” The café’s owner was grinning as she finished making her own drink.

“Really?” Soyu chuckled and linked arms with Chanyeol (totally missing the pale flush across his face), bringing the other hand up into a “V” sign at eye level.

Baekhyun took a sip of his macchiato and it took all his self control to try and not pop the lid off his drink with the strength of his grip.

After several hours of work, coffee provided zero sustenance and all of EXO convinced their managers and Soyu for late-night barbeque. They were (especially) spirited by the prospect of food and it was a quick in and out of the SM building from changing, no one really bothering to remove or even fix their eyeliner and they rushed back to the vans while they were still pulling their jackets or first/second/third shirt on.

Even Soyu didn’t relish in her time undressing and redressing, but mostly only at the thought of making over a dozen other people wait on her. But her guilt and anxiety may have also attributed to her speed. She held off putting on her denim jacket and was pulling her hair into a low ponytail as she exited her separate dressing room. It had been wise for her to have rushed because she ran right into—

“Baekhyun,” she called out; he was leaving the neighboring room simultaneously.

Had he not appeared as if he were suddenly a victim of rigor mortis he would have attempted to walk away, acting like there was actually music playing in the single earbud he had in. He internally cursed himself for not having thought of a plan beforehand, but it wasn’t like he had expected Soyu to bother looking his way again.

Why would she when there’s Chanyeol, right?

He turned to her and willed his limbs to easen up and he swallowed. Frankly, he wasn’t sure if he could take another lecture because the guilt was overbearing enough as it was. But if anything, Soyu in her sleeveless black turtleneck and classic red tartan pants with a black waistband (where she seemed to be fumbling to tie the strings together) made it perhaps just slightly easier to cope — at least visually if not mentally or emotionally.

They were on par in terms of apprehension, but Baekhyun was so consumed by his side of the spectrum that he failed to notice; he avoided her eyes because he couldn’t trust himself to look at either her stoic gaze or the harrowing storm that mingled beneath.

“Yeah?”

“. Stupid voice crack—”

If she had noticed, Soyu was gracious enough to not make any physical regards towards it.

She approached him but was still attending to the strings of her pants, and it wasn’t until they were tied that she looked up at him and sighed a little. Even so, she didn’t say anything, instead waiting for him to meet her eyes.

He didn’t.

“Baekhyun, I’m sorry.” His eyes finally fixed on hers again at — was that an apology or was he delusional in his hunger?

She shrank a little now that he was gaping at her. She chose to stare at the wall from the corner of her eye, tugging on a lock of hair.

Baekhyun’s hand twitched with the impulse to grab hers and lace their fingers together.

Like he always would.

Maybe Soyu could feel it too, because she released her hair and a different shade of somber settled over her expression.

“No, I should be the one to say sorry—”

She must have anticipated his words, because as Baekhyun was about to speak, she added in quickly, “I don’t want to be on bad terms with you, you know?”

He shifted nervously and muttered an “it’s okay,” but for some reason it felt wrong — because it was wrong for him to stand there and have Soyu apologize to him — Soyu who should have owed him zero trust, zero courtesy; he didn’t warrant any kindness from her yet was accepting her apology.

She managed a weak smile. “You’ve worked hard. You’re hungry, yeah?” She spoke comfortably, not a trace of gloom in her voice. “Let’s get going.” Her expression was the only thing betraying her.

She nudged him with her shoulder a little as she passed when he just stood in place.

He blinked out of his stupor and let his body carry himself after Soyu.

It was borderline unsettling, the way Soyu asked Baekhyun how he had been, how were promotions, had he and Chanyeol been well. Somehow, he had automated responses to every question through the blur of his mind.

Chanyeol had been whistling to himself at the bottom of the stairs and his eyebrows nearly shot up to his hairline when he caught sight of the (incredibly unexpected) pair strolling side by side and seemingly carrying out a normal conversation. The maknae line in the background was too busy hustling out to the vans to give it a second thought.

When they reached the lobby, Chanyeol kept his brow cocked but didn't ask — which only made Baekhyun more nervous because it was only insuring that there would be an onslaught of interrogation later. Soyu only chimed a “hello, oppa” and Chanyeol stepped between, slinging an arm around each of them and Soyu abandoned whatever conversation she had been having with Baekhyun to applaud (but mostly tease) Chanyeol’s performance during the filming.

Soyu saw them off at the K van and while he watched her pull on her jacket like she was modeling for a fashion magazine as she moved for EXO-M’s van, Baekhyun couldn’t help but think—

“She’s nothing special.”

Kwon Soyu: looks? Above average. Intellect: fairly above average. Work ethic: slightly below average. Uniqueness? Basic. But perhaps that was her attractiveness in its entirety; she didn’t need to be anything “special.” But what she was, was brave and gracious — brave enough to face the world after being left in the most humiliating way, gracious enough to still smile at the very person who crushed her.

One thought drifted on a single wavelength between the trio and Chanyeol marked off strike one:

“Don’t go falling for her now, Baekhyun.”

The atmosphere in the BBQ was pretty relaxed as the clock was inching towards 1AM — almost homely, really. It was mostly empty and Soyu’s apology seemed to have worked magic, because the strain Baekhyun felt seemed to have lifted and he had actually thrown in several jokes. The most surprising part? Soyu actually laughed at most of them.

Most.

Some either just didn’t quite pique her humor or they were too much like their old jokes, too comfortable — and she just smirked at those, albeit a tad forced.

Soyu took another shot of bokbunjaju and Baekhyun had to remind himself that she wasn’t filming a beverage ad on top of the fact that his seat (right by the wall, across from Chanyeol who was next to Soyu) wasn’t the most convenient for staring.

Her denim jacket was somewhat bulky with a large fold-down collar, and she kept it fairly open in the stuffiness of the BBQ to the point where one half was slightly folded back and revealed quite a bit of shoulder and teased with just a hint of upper arm. She’d kept the ponytail messy and her eyeliner had smudged a bit underneath her eyes, enhancing her aegyo sal while giving her that tiredly inviting “buy me a drink” kind of look.

She was actually doing most of the drinking though still moderation (partially because she wasn’t entertained by the idea of getting wasted in public — and being the only one to get wasted, but mostly because Luhan was counting the number of glasses he was pouring her). It took plenty for Chanyeol, Chen and Tao to convince Manager Im and Manager Lee to let them have one or two shots because it was practically unjust for eleven members and two managers to let a woman drink alone; Soyu was sure that the only reason she was drinking was because the schedule for the next day didn’t involve her.

She could pack away a surprising amount of food for her slim frame (“You should eat plenty with a nice bottle of bokbunjaju. Or any alcohol, really.” was what she had waved them off with).

It was almost refreshing to Baekhyun and he had to stop himself from making a comment in regards to her eating versus Taeyeon’s — and most other female idols due to dieting. But Soyu was no superstar and she ate to her satisfaction (without being inconsiderate to, of course, the entirety of EXO who could eat quite well, too).

Suho set down his cup of tea. “So how do you and Chanyeol know each other?”

The question caught Soyu off guard, though not by too much because she had expected it to come up at some point. She shot a glance at Chanyeol out of the corner of her eye and then let her gaze pass over Baekhyun briefly.

“A friend.”

Is that what you’d call it?

There was only an inkling of malice that stained her even, white smile, not quite enough to have been detected by anyone else, but she could taste that — call it “white lie,” perhaps — through her teeth.

“Ah, really?” Suho was appeased with that much of an answer and resumed conversation with other members.

But to Baekhyun, being called a friend was tiptoeing on the line of absurd, yet there was a strange twinge at that label. Friend. It struck him then that it had been a number of years since they were formally friends; for approximately three years, they had been boyfriend-girlfriend, but what were they supposed to be as of the past year?

Exes?

They were.

Strangers?

Almost as accurate as the former, but “strangers” sounded so much more ridiculous and only increased that foreign numbness overtaking his insides — his heart, his stomach, his mind.

So being strangers wasn't exactly ideal. But being friends didn't sound entirely preferable either.

More than friends?

"That… isn’t right."

Baekhyun exhaled sharply before leaning back in his seat to look past the other five people along his side of the table, “Manager-hyung, can I have a drink too?”

It had been three days since they had been appointed with Soyu, though a number of the members had been texting or KakaoTalking with her in her absence. (As in, being the gentlemen they were, they all insisted she give them her number or they got it from Chanyeol so she could reach any of them if need be.)

After a conclusive round of sikhye, they left the BBQ and she was hardly tipsy. She technically wasn’t SM’s responsibility but even the managers insisted that they should take her home (because it would be another scandal the label couldn’t take, having a young woman drink under their watch but then let her disappear directly afterwards). She’d just murmured a handful of “it’s okay’s” under the claim that she always made it home alright.

(When they told her to give them her number (being spurred momentarily by the alcohol in her system), she had laughed, making some remark like, “Wow, EXO wants my number, I must be popular these days.” (Which, it probably wasn’t something Chanyeol would let her live down.)

She had gotten on the bus, face tinged with pink and tried not to slump too much in her seat while she waved goodbye.

Since then Baekhyun had been even more occupied with his phone, mostly talking to Taeyeon but sometimes messaging Soyu.

From the start, Chanyeol had been wary of the whole situation; Baekhyun was his best friend and he was (mostly) glad that Soyu was taking the liberty of trying to make everything more comfortable for everyone, but even he didn’t believe that she should have gone as far as trying to be friends again. It just wasn’t permissible after what he had done and he was disappointed that Baekhyun could stand to have the woman he left apologize to him, have her make every step towards reconciliation, and all while have that same woman know he would still carry on his day with the girlfriend who replaced her.

A neatly polished diamond that is the biggest, farthest upgrade from a rhinestone.

It wasn’t often that him and Baekhyun fought but animosity was undoubtedly being triggered in small doses. Beyond Soyu, seeing any woman have a part of her mind broken to the point of assumptions of self-blame and inadequacy was tragic — and having only a fraction of dysfunctionality was more tragic because that meant every other part of her would be striving to front dignity and a winning smile.

“Manager-hyung just called to remind us that we have the concept photoshoot with Soyu-ssi tomorrow. Please tell the others.” Suho emerged from the kitchen for a moment before returning to D.O. as the assistant chef.

Baekhyun was generally impaired with the inability to multitask, yet he automatically glanced up at “Soyu” — and while texting Taeyeon, too.

There was a faintly familiar spark that lit up in Baekhyun’s eyes and Chanyeol did his best to repress a frown until after he got up from the couch and halfheartedly noting, “I’ll let them know.”

“That’s the second strike, Baekhyun.”