MINO

My heart breaks each time I see her pale, lifeless face. It's my entire fault. I shouldn't be so selfish. I should have been more careful. There she is, lying on the bed, not knowing when she will wake up. If. If she ever going to wake up. It has been months since the car crash. If only I could take her place there. Lying on that bed. That should be me, lying there in grave condition. Breathing through the ventilator.

The doctor said that her lungs are not functioning well so that she must use it. I caress her cheeks. The bruises on her face are fading and so do mine. Suddenly I feel a warm touch brushes over my shoulders. It's Mrs Kim, Irene's one and only aunt. "You should go home now Mino. It's almost midnight," she said. "Let me stay here a little longer Mrs Kim," i begged. "It has been weeks, Mino. You should go home and rest. I'll take it from here," she said followed by a smile on her face.

Without hesitation, I stood up and bowed at Mrs Kim. "I'll get going now. Call me if there are any changes," I said with my swollen eyes. I walk out from the hospital and made my way home.

I walk alone on the street where we used to walk side by side. Your left hand in my right hand. When there's no one around. Your voice will fill this empty street. Singing to our favourite songs. Ignoring what people would say about us. 'Call us crazy but that’s just who we are'. I still remember you said that to those people who once calls us crazy. Each night, your warm touch tickles through my body. Your kiss light up the spark in me. I miss you. Day and night. Days and weeks. Damn it! This empty street feels so empty now. It's quite just like my heart.

I turn on the lights as I enter my apartment. I took off my boots then jump on the sofa. I see an envelope on the coffee table. I remember what it is! That's the offer given to me. A job designation in Japan as a chief editor. I was going to tell Irene before. How am I supposed to agree with this letter and leave Korea as soon as possible when Irene's still in the hospital? Then it hits me. The ing due date is next week! I sighed. I throw the envelope away.

I get up from the sofa and walk to the bathroom for a quick shower.

I stand in front of the mirror with my wet, messy hair and towel wrap around my lower body. My reflection in the mirror is so empty, there's no smile on my face, as if there's nothing there. I put on my clothes then lie on my bed. I recall what had happened before the crash. "Where did it gone wrong? Why is this happening?" the same question keeps playing in my mind. The only thing that I remember is that we had a fight. I tried to remember what it was about but to no avail. Why is this damn bed so big?

In my vast desert of a heart, only a cold wind blows. I'm an empty shell, a coward without you. People around me look at me with pity. It kills me, no what a day. I shut both of my eyes, trying to fall into deep slumber and when I wake up tomorrow morning, I expect a miracle would happen. Even though it's quite impossible.

After waking up from the dream that was you, this morning of reality feels so empty. As I face the morning, I realize once again. What wake me up are not you but an alarm bell. I stretch out. I can't believe I dreamt of her. After a very long time and it feels so good. Is this a sign? Oh God, tell me please. I walk to the kitchen and pour me a glass of water. Suddenly my phone rings. It's from Mrs Kim, saying that Irene has finally awakened.

"I'm on my way," I said then hung up. Without bothering what clothes I'm wearing or even brushing my teeth, I rush out of my apartment towards my car and drive as fast as I could to the hospital.

"Mino," Mrs Kim approaches me when I reach the hallway. Her expression baffles me. I walk inside towards Irene who's sitting on the bed, busy looking outside of the window. She looks more alive now. I could have just go and hug her right away but I didn't. "Irene," I said, starting a conversation after a few seconds. She turns around and looked at me in a weird way. She opens and said, "Who are you?"

"It's me. Mino," I stuttered. She looks confused. "Don't you remember me? Irene..." I walk towards her and hold both of her shoulders. "Let go of me, please. Aunt Yoon!" she shrugged. I let go of her. My legs began to shake, my fingers suddenly numb and I fell on my knees.

Mrs Kim led me outside of the room. "The doctor says that she's having amnesia and she has 10% chance of remembering anyone," she looked at me apologetically. She walks towards and whispers the saddest most hopeless words to me, "Mino, I think that it's best for you to give up on her,"

Her words left me shocked. I stood up and walk out of the room and went to the rooftop. I wiped my tears with my sleeves and lit up a cigarette. Without a thought I took out my phone and dialled-

"Is it too late to accept the job?"

~

A year has passed since I last saw Irene in the hospital. "I wonder how she is now. I wonder who she with is. I wonder if-" I stop then laugh at my own thoughts while walking in the park. I like it here in Japan. It helps me to move on. What's past is past and just keep moving forward. Breathing the sweet smell of spring while looking at the flowers bloom along the path. I pluck one and put it in my pocket. Looking at the kids playing at the field makes me want to play along.

I took out my phone and check it. It's a voice message from my colleague now my special girl-friend, Ibarra. "Hi babe, I just want to tell you that i couldn’t make it to our date. I'm so sorry-got to go now. Bye. Love you." I let out a sigh. She's been busy these few weeks. We rarely spend time together now. How I wish we could spend more time together just like Irene and I used to. I sit down on the bench and sigh. I'm so not okay with this. How could she cancel our date in the last minute? Then suddenly I heard.

"Excuse me?" I heard a familiar voice. I turn around and there she is. Standing there smiling. Showing her dimples on both sides. "I think this is yours?" she said (with that sweet smile of her that I miss most) while handing me a flower. My flower. The one I pluck before. It must have fallen out from my pocket.

"Irene?" I stuttered. Our eyes met. My heart beats so fast like before.

"How do you know my name?" she said confusedly.

"I mean thanks. I like this flower.  Thanks," I said nervously.

Then my phone buzzed. It's a text from Ibarra. "Hi babe, Guess what? Our date is on. See you. Xx"