Night was the enviable turn from day. It cloaked a previously bright world in its darkness and gave but the small, silver moonlight to compensate. And here I am.

It is night and I am without the moonlight. The room is dark and I can’t see.

It’s late and everyone else is probably already sleeping. I didn’t feel like going to sleep in my room lest Jaebum catch me moping again and give me his long lecture on loving yourself or something. He cared, that was obvious, but he isn’t as helpful as he may hope.

The couch is far more comfortable than our bedroll anyway.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, I sunk farther into the cushions, trying desperately to hold back some of the many tears that streamed down my cheeks. The view of the blank ceiling helped to calm my nerves, but my heart refused to give up the pain.

It’s tomorrow. Ninety nine days will pass and it will be tomorrow. I don’t think I’m ready.

It’s not that I don’t love him. I do, I love Jackson so much. It hurts to think about how much I love him because it comes to the point where I start to think I’m not worth him.

I let out another breath, bringing my hands up to wipe my face. It’s gone sticky from the salt in my tears but I can’t bring myself to care. I turned into the couch, facing the back cushion, and pulled the thin blanket tighter around me.

Today, I walked into Jackson’s room to get something for Mark-hyung when I happened to pass by the laptop Jackson left open. Normally, I don’t snoop around, but it just caught my eye and…

I can’t believe he’s willing to go through all of the trouble for me. Me, Choi Youngjae, the least popular member of the group. Me, the worst dancer with the least credentials to even be in Got7 much less apart of JYPE. Ugly, stupid Youngjae who can’t even get his feelings straight or express himself properly even though I’m going to be an adult on New Year.

Gasping haphazardly, I cover the sound with my hand, silencing the oncoming sobs that wreck my body. Curling up on my side, I close my eyes and try to calm down.

I try to tell myself that I’m exaggerating what’s so clearly true.

There are days like today where I wonder why Jackson bothers with me. I’m becoming delusional. I’m actually wondering if he’s losing interest but I know Jackson better than that. I know he loves me, I know I mean as much to him as he does to me; why do I even question him. I see myself becoming more and more insecure but I can’t stop. I wish I could just make it stop.

Suddenly, the sound of the opening of doors comes from my right and I quickly wipe my face and close my eyes, pretending to sleep. My face is still red, but I can only hope whoever it is won’t notice.

Heavy footsteps walk across the room into the next hallway, and the opening of doors is heard again. The door is closed shut and I sigh, wiping off whatever else I missed and breathing evenly to calm my nerves. The last thing I need is to have someone to catch me crying.

A few moments later, there’s a flush of a toilet and whoever is up has started to walk around again. Although instead of the footsteps going over to room they seemed to come from, they moved closer to the couch. I did my best not to make a sound and stay as still as possible. Maybe if they think I’m sleeping they’ll just leave me alone.

The footsteps stop right next to me and suddenly the couch dips beside my head, which is cradled up into someones lap. I don’t dare open my eyes, praying silently that they don’t look too closely at my face which I’m sure is still stricken with tear marks. My heart starts to pound in my ears and the suspense starts to take its toll on me but then I breathe in the air that holds such a familiar scent. After living with six other guys, you start to pick up on other’s smells but this one I couldn’t figure out.

Thick fingers card through my hair and I’m stuck wondering who this could be. The large hands were gentle to my hair, brushing it from my face and ruffling it with a delicacy I didn’t know any of us had. Is it Jinyoung-hyung? No, he has thinner hands…

"What am I going to do with you, Youngjae?"

…Jackson?

"You were crying again weren’t you?"

Should I respond? He’s addressing me but I can’t be sure if he thinks I’m awake or not. A thumb swipes slowly across my cheek, the palm of Jackson’s hand warm on my face. The hand left and went to my shoulder, rubbing there tenderly. Something about his hands makes my tension fade.

"I wish you knew how wonderful you really are." He began. "I know it wouldn’t be fair to tell you that you’re feelings are wrong, but you really are an amazing guy no matter what you may think.

"I know you think you’re a burden. I know you’ve heard me tell you that you’re not. I wish I could just make it all better, but I think we both know it’s your battle to fight. It’s not fair. My precious Youngjae shouldn’t have to hurt like this, it isn’t fair at all. But, I promise I’ll be here for you. I’ve said it before but I really mean it. I’ll only ever want to make you happy."

The hand that caressed my shoulder went to pick up the blanket that was slipping off my arm, placing it back over me, smoothing out the wrinkles until Jackson’s arm went to its furthest reaches at my hip. My breath almost hitches when his large hand lingered on that spot as Jackson kept silent as if he was contemplating something. Moments passed before the larger man squeezed my hip and brought his hand back to my shoulder.

"I hope you know I love you. If you don’t know I promise to prove it to you every day of my life from here on out."

My head is lifted again and I’m placed back on my pillow, the warmth of his presence already lingering to a fade. Jackson cards his fingers through my hair once more before leaning down and kissing my cheek.

"Good night, Youngjae."

He’s leaving? Why is he leaving? I don’t want him to go, not yet. The moments I have with him are already fleeting and far apart, he can’t leave yet; I want him to stay longer.

The breath of his kiss warms then chills my cheek and in a desperate attempt, I open my eyes.

I’m not a good actor. I’m actually very bad at it. Hopefully he won’t notice that I’m pretending. Although, I don’t think he’d mention it if he did. Feigning drowsiness, I blink once, then twice before turning to look at him through lidded eyes.

"Jackson?"

The older man, clad in a tank top and sweat pants, actually looked surprised to find me awake. Was he legitimately having a monologue while I slept? Jackson’s surprised expression melted into a gentler one as he bent down to my level.

"Hey, you." He said with a kind smile. Bending forward to kiss my forehead, he continued. "Why are you sleeping on the couch?"

"I just wanted to be alone for a bit." Well it isn’t a lie.

"Do you still want to be alone?"

I can feel myself melt a little at his words. If a tone of voice could be visualized, his would be like melted dark chocolate pouring down into a bowl of strawberries til the surface tension broke and hot chocolate spilled off the ceramic edges. It was completely unadulterated yet my breath was stolen from me and my face grew hot. Thank god for the darkness.

I looked him in the eye for a second before immediately shying away from the intense gaze. I could feel my pride being trivialized as I looked down while telling him that no, I didn't want to be alone anymore. He sighs contently and I already knew he was smiling.

"Good."

Suddenly I was manhandled and being pushed, pulled, and lifted about until Jackson made himself comfortable. Jackson making himself comfortable roughly translates to Jackson making everyone else uncomfortable for the sake of his comfort. In this instance, he managed to take my spot on the couch while laying on his back; on the other hand, I was smushed to the back of the couch, half of my body barely touching the seat and the other half on top of Jackson. I suppose he was trying to get me to lay on his chest, but he could’ve just asked.

Suddenly, two muscular arms trap me and shift my whole body until I’m fully on top of Jackson. Facing the older man directly, I scowled down at his smiling face. He was grinning like an idiot again; his hair splayed out on my pillow, unhindered by his usual snapback. The arms around me squeezed tighter as he leaned upward to kiss me yet again.

"Was all that really necessary?"

"I don’t know. Does it matter? I've got you were I want you right?" Jackson puts his hands behind his head and keeps on grinning. .

"You’re a big dork you know that?"

"Are you really talking, country boy? Do I have to show you these guns again and remind you that I’m the iest man in Korea." He flexes his arms to emphasize his point. I can’t believe I cried over this dofus.

Rolling my eyes, I settle down and just put my head down on Jackson’s shoulder. I’m surprised he’s actually comfortable with nearly my entire body weight on top of him, but he hasn't complained. I grumble out a soft, “Loser.” before nuzzling into the crook of Jackson’s neck and closing my eyes.

Jackson doesn't respond and we stay like this for a while, just laying in quiet darkness and warmth. The silence isn't broken until I can feel myself start to lose to sleep.

"Hey, Youngjae?"

"Yes?"

"Are you ready for tomorrow?"

I pause. Am I? I look up at the older man who looked down at me expectantly. Jackson has a tired look on his face, but his content is expressed more fluidly than his drowsiness ever could. Then I realize, his content is with me. Just me and being with me. He does so much, for what? For this. For the moments he gets to remind me that we’re in love and what it looks like. Content.

"Yeah," I respond, smiling as Jackson pulls the blanket around the both of us. "I’m ready."

"Good." Jackson says as he flops his head back onto the pillow, bringing up his hand to rest on te curve of my back. "Now let’s go to sleep."

I hum softly and close my eyes before shooting them back open again. “Wait, what if someone sees us in the morning?”

A lazy wave of his hand dismisses my worried question. “I doubt anyone will question it too much. Just sleep, angel.”

"If we get caught, I’ll you up."

"Mmm, getting ed by you? Sounds like a reward to me."

"ert."

"Now the question is, are you going to ride me while you do it? You’d look cute on top."

"Shut up!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was the morning after that, unbeknownst to the lovely couple on the couch, an early rising maknae walked into the room.

Yugyeom stared for a bit, confused. Slowly the pieces came together and things made sense. The extra practices they’d have together in the vocal room. The random disappearances after recordings. Jackson’s recent trip to a jewelry store. And this.

"Ah," was all that was said, and the tallest boy walked back into his room, wondering how long it’d take before he would eventually be paired off too.

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A/N: I'm so sorry for the wait. With school and applying to colleges I've been very busy not to mention the difficultly of this chapter. I had a lot of trouble with this but I feel a lot better about it now so I put it out. 

Since this is probably going to be a trend of me not updating weeks at a time I'll make sure to make blog posts on my tumblr as well as here so you guys don't feel like theres no effort or productivity being put into this. 

There should be one more chapter after this and I might make a bonus chapter (there will be a poll). Thank you so much for reading!