Chapter 1

Brotherly Bonds
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Edited the story. Added some more dialogue

 

 

A/N: I know that Jaebum's last name is Im but for this story it's now Kim




 

Kim Minjun awoke to the sound of crying.

Heading down the hallway he noticed it was  coming for Jaebum's room

Opening the door he noticed Jaebum tossing around.

Kim Jaebum was his little brother along with Jung Hoseok. When Minjun was 12, Jaebum was 8, and Hoseok was 7.

Their parents died in a car accident and their old friends Jung Jaehyo  and Yuri adopted the boys.  They boys refused to change their last name except Hoseok.  They didn't have to the heart make them.

Jaebum or JB for short was asleep in the car with Hoseok or Hobi for short, when the accident occurred.  When JB was thrown from the car. When his seat belt broke. Hoseok was pinned in between the car and a tree. Lucky since he was so young and small. He didn't get to hurt. For the next few years the boys had nightmares every night.  Over time it only happened when they were stressed.

Minjun got up and walked into JB’s room. “ JB, wake up, it’s just a dream.” Holding him in his arms. Jaebum quietly whimpered and relaxed slowly waking up. “ Are you alright JB?”

“ Yes, Thanks hyung. Rolling over he headed for the bathroom. “ I guess I’m stressed for the new school year.” Jaebum was in this 3rd year in Seoul National University. Going for his degree in Arts & Humanities.

“ Relex JB. It will be ok.” he smiled “ Look I’m going to be late for work. Jackson called to see if you needed a ride. I told him to come get you . He can make sure that you are alright.”

“ Hyung, I’m not a baby.”

“ I know but you are my little brother and I worry about you.”

“ I’m 22 years old. Jackson probably is super busy with Mark hyung. He doesn't need to look after me.”

“ I d

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blackmelody #1
Chapter 2: I really hope vhope though!
Arashika #2
Chapter 2: OMG I just noticed you tagged the pairings! Ahhh 2jae and vhope are some of my faves :D though idk how it fits here... Due to jaebum and hoseoks past youngjae and Taehyung are going to have to be very mature and understanding and willing to take care of them.

/whispers/ 2jin is a very guilty pleasure of mine :P I never know how to characterize hyosang so I rarely write it myself lol.

Thank you so much for writing this story! I'm really curious as to where its headed next :D

Great job, keep writing~
faithshelost #3
Very nice.
Arashika #4
Chapter 1: (sorry I hit character limit so here's part two-)

I'm also wondering what the pairings are going to be now :D I see that Mark and Jackson are a pair, Wooyoung and Nichkhun, but who will Minjun , Jaebum, and Hoseok end up with? From the looks of things, Jaebum is going to need someone to take care of him, so a personal hope would be that he ends up with Jinyoung. Hoseok... if he's dancing, maybe Taehyung, Jimin, or Jungkook? (though tbh I kind of want Yoonseok- since he's friends with Namjoon apparently, maybe Yoongi is close by too?)

You may want to tag the main possible pairings in the story though. Some people don't check the tags for the group, just the tags for their specific pairing, so you might be able to get more viewers that way :D I know some people for instance that just creep on the Yoonmin tag all day lol. If you have a love triangle or something going on and don't want to spoil it just tag the possible pairings- but make sure it appears sometime in the story, otherwise you'll get readers complaining that you lied to them lol.

Anyways, this is really good! Can't wait to read more~

Great job, keep writing~
Arashika #5
Chapter 1: This seems like an interesting story! You have both of my bias groups (GOT7 and BTS, and I'm slowly getting into 2PM too ^^;) and I'm curious to see where this story will go :D

One suggestion though. While I personally also like the straight dialogue with no words in between, putting it in such large chunks like this can start to become confusing. It's a little hard sometimes to remember who's speaking when, especially when you're throwing in a lot of names that others might not know.

You might also want to add a little more description- like, for instance, how did he put the phone in his pocket at the end? Regretfully, absently, or maybe with a little sigh, wondering if he was making the right decision in going out that night? And why would he regret going to the bar? This would also help break up the dialogue. For instance, after Wooyoung says "whatever," you can add something like 'even through the phone, Minjun could hear the clear disapproval in his friend's voice. But they'd had this argument before, and Wooyoung knew better than to press the subject.' That's a personal thing though- it's just that I would like to see a little more detail in the writing.

Other than that... I believe JB's last name is Im or Lim, not Kim :D but I'm not sure how much that might change the story so maybe just leave it but make a note of it somewhere?

Anyways... this story looks great so far! Your writing is fine, don't worry about it! Sorry if my comments sound harsh, they're just suggestions on style mostly. I'll read regardless of what stylistic choices you make :D
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