Chapter 1: Oh gosh... ; 7 ; the heartbeat monitor readings...! So clever! No idea if it was intended, but I swear it picks up the story like you CANNOT believe. It's already such a bloody good read, but the clear shortening of the page breaks there in the heart rate readings is just... so brilliant. It really adds its own little metaphoric charm here.
Really enjoyed the idea as a whole, and Yoongi... waah! My heart aches for him. What a nice theme though, and you really pulled it off well. Great job!
Chapter 1: Oh! Yoongi killed himself?!?! How sad. This was incredibly short, but you managed to pack enough emotion in it in a simplistic way. Good job! ^^
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