"Even after three years you haven't done it once ?" asked me DongHoon

"Yeah.."

"Man is she preserving for mariage or what ?"

" No it"s just she's not ready yet."

"Whoaa how far did you go with her ?"

"Well she let me kiss her and touch her upper body but I never went down there."

"How can you survive like that ?"

"Aish man ! isn't everything, I love her more then that !"

"Yeah but don't pretend it doesn't torture you to have to hold one right ?"

"Of coursed it's hard, but still... You know what let's stop speaking about that ! What about you, where ae you going with that new girl, Byul right ?"

"Aish, I really like her but I learned something which's bothering me.."

"What ?"

"She want to preserve herself for marriage..."

"Hahahahaha" I started to laugh, not because that young girl wanted to preserve herself but because my body HaHa had a crush on this girl but he was the type of guy sleeping around, so how could that friend wait till he marry her..

"Stop laughing hyung ! This is not funny seriously ! I really like her but how can I wait till I marry her ? Or should I marry her tomorrow ?"

I couldn't stop laughing, "Let's go take a drink with everyone ok !" I said to him, he agreed and we called all our budies to drink. There were HaHa and Byul cause he decided to present her to us, there were SimonD an other budy with his girlfriend (I don't remeber her name because he's always changing of girls), Eun-Sik the celibate guy.

Of course Jihyo my love, her friends YeoJin and Clara. We all decided we'll go clubbing, we entered the club all exited. At the entrence there was a guy passing by, watching us, he suddenly said ;

"Jihyo ?"

Jihyo looked at him mongly and then her face lighed up :

"ChangMin oppa ?"

The man smiled at her. We sat around a table and that guy was with us too. We got the drink, Jihyo sat next to ChangMin who was next to YeoJin, while I was facing Jihyo. They started to happily chat catching some old times because he was her neighboor when she was young, but one day he moved in an other neighboorhood. Feeling uneasy and jealous I cought "hum, hum" and I looked to Jihyo who smiled at me.

"Let me introduce to you, Oppa this is my boyfriend Gary oppa, Oppa, this is ChangMin oppa my old neighboor."

"Nice to meet you, said the guy next to her."

"Same here", I answered.

Guys were partying and having lot of fun, HaHa was proud to introduced us to Byul and she was really polite. Simon's girlfriend for the night, YeoJin and Clara were speaking with Byul while HaHa, EunSik and Simon were laughing at how HaHa met Byul. As for me the rest of the night was long, I kept watching Jihyo and that guy chatting and laughing. She seemed close to him, I was jealous.... Like really jealous. It was the first time for me to feel this way. I never had that trouble with Jihyo as she never met guys, even in classes she woud always hang out with her women friends. The only guys she would meet were my friends, DongHoon, Simon, EunSik. She was comfortable around them after all the time we spent together but she would usually not be comfortable with other men. I wasn't jealous of how she laughed at HaHa's stupid jokes or at Simon's fooling around or even EunSik telling us how he got rejected by a girl the night before because those guys were my friends and I knew Jihyo was not interested in them and saw them as friends only and my bodies felt the same. They liked her and often told me I found a good girl, that she kinda felt like a little sis to them. (we are all 4 years older than Jihyo). But this man... I did not know him and it was hard seeing she was comfortable with a man when I had a hard time winning her heart before.

I kept drinking and drinking. The alchool in my body did not help me calming down my jealousy and anger. Simon saw me and told me to stopped drinking. Jihyo did not even looked toward me she was to immersed in bringing back memories.

"Jihyo-ya" HaHa interrupted "Take care of that guy before he get dead drunk" he pointed at me, I had my head on my left arm on the table and I was drinking with my right hand.

"Oppa..." Jihyo said and stood up from her seat and walked toward me. She sat next to me and put her hand on mine. "Oppa, stop drinking" she told me softly and patted my back.

"Leave" I told her coldly, I was really drunk, and took back my hand away from hers.

"What's wrong ?" she asked me still with her soft voice and kept patting my back.

"Aigoo~~ it's been a while since we saw him drunk. Don't mind him Jihyo he doesn't mean acting that way" HaHa tried to defend my drunk tone.

"Yeah, I know oppa" she answered HaHa and smiled.

"Should I take him home ? and maybe HaHa can fetch you Jihyo as Gary's the one taking you here right ?" Simon asked her.

"Aniyo oppa, I'll take him home. I can drive his car and then I'll take the bus to my home"

"Will it be ok ?" HaHa asked out of concern.

"Yeah, don't worry I already drove his car before and his appartement isn't far away from my house anyway, plus I did not drink a single glasse yet" She assured them she would be ok then she stood up and say goodbye to her friend ChangMin and to everyone. She hugged goodnight YeoJin and Clara and she cames back to me.

"Oppa, let's go" she tried to help me standing up but I was drunk and heavy. HaHa stood up and helped me.

"I'll help you taking him to the car Jihyo" HaHa nicely said and walked me to the door with Jihyo following behind.

"Byul I'm coming back in a few" he told his new girl and she nodded and resumed speaking with the other girls.

In front of my car, Jihyo schearched in my jacket and jean's pocket for my car's key while HaHa hold my body. She opened the passenger's door and HaHa put me inside the car and closed he door.

"Aish... Why is he so drunk..." I sighed. "I'm sorry oppa for troubling you".

"It's ok, Jihyo, he's my friend it's normal to help"

She smiled to him and started to walk to the car when HaHa stopped her with his words.

"Jihyo-ya...."

"Hum ?" she turned back and faced him.

"Don't mind him tonight, he's not really himself when he's drunk, so don't be upset with him ok ?"

"Yeah, oppa, I know... But I wondered why he drunk so much, he was the one all excited about hanging out with everyone, even when he drove me there he was happy. But suddenly in the club he looked gloomy and got drunk..." She was worried.

"He's jealous" HaHa laughed.

"What ?" Jihyo was surprised. "But how ? Why ? From who ?" she did not get why, it was a first time for her too.

"I know him for long and the way he looked at you talking with that man, ChangMin right ? He was absolutly jealous".

"Really ? But... Why ? I mean, he's just a friend and he never got jealous when I'm with you guys talking and speaking...."

"Yeah, but he knows us and he knows you're just a little sis for us but that guy... He doesn't know him and you looked really happy tonight... I saw it too and I would have been also jealous if I was in his shoes" HaHa said soflty to her.

"I did not realized, he never seemed jealous before.... So because of me he drunk that much ?" she was worried and felt guilty.

"No, not because of you, it's ok Jihyo. Just take him home and talk to him tomorrow".

"Oppa, do you think he's mad ? He's never been mad with me..." she asked.

"No, he's not mad, he is just drunk, give him time to get sobber".

"Ok, thank you so much oppa !" she hugged him friendly and they bid goodbye. She got on the car and drove off.

In front of my appartement she helped me got out of the car and hold my body till my appartement while I was crooked walking. She opened my front door and took me inside, she sat me on the couch and went to take a bassin with water, a glass of water and painkillers. She put it all on the coffee table.

"Oppa, do you want to take off your shirt ?" she asked me and I tried to take it off, she helped me and wiped my upper body with a towel and the water she brought. She took off my shoes and helped me laying down on the couch.

"Oppa, I love you" she said as she pecked my lips. "Sleep well and take the painkillers tomorrow morning if you wake up with an headache ok ?" She told me and I nooded. "I'll get going then, see you later oppa" she told me and waved me goodbye before walking toward the door.

"Ya ! Do you want me to fetch you home ?" I drunkly said as I sat up on the couch.

She went back to me and cupped my face. "Aigoo, my pretty boyfriend, take care of yourself ok, I'll be ok". She pecked my lips again "I'm leaving~~ Aniyeong" she said before leaving and closing the door. I fall asleep right away after she left as I was drunk. The next morning I woke up with an awfull headache and saw the painkiller and water glass Jihyo left for me. I smiled remembering the night. I texted her.

"I'm sorry for getting drunk yesterday, I'm sorry baby. Did you go home safely?"

She answered imediatly.

"How do you feel? It's ok oppa... I went home safely yeah but my mother kept scolding me for comming home yet while I told her I'd go clubbing -_-'... Oppa, are you mad ?"

I felt sorry for yesterday and decided to call her.

"Yobuseo"

"It's me" I akwardly said. And I heard her soft giggle.

"I know Oppa~~"

"MongJi-ha... I'm sorry for yesterday" I told her honestly

"It's ok oppa, I'm sorry too"

"Why are you sorry for ? And why do you think I'm mad at you. Did I do something weird yesterday ?" I was affraid that I could have said or done something I don't remember.

"Aniyo, but yesterday you were all gloomy.... Oppa, HaHa oppa said you were jealous... Is it true ?"

"Yes" I answered fast. She bursted of laugher. "Why are you laughing ?" I asked surprised.

"It's just... I did not expected you to be that honest haha. You're not mad right ?"

"I'm not, it's just that... I don't know I don't like that guy..."

"Wae ? He's really nice. Oppa he is just an odl friend, not more. The one I love is you"

"Arrasso, I love you too"

"Oppa, I have to go I'll see you at the university ok"

"Yeah, see you later baby"

And we hung up. After that everything got back to normal, we dated, we attended our classe and had fun as usual. I was training with my boxing mates and Jihyo was busy with her swimming club. During her first year in college she was hesitant about scubscribing in the swimming club after what happened, but after we learnt that the coach's a woman so she forgot her fear and subscribed. 

We spent normal time and it finally was the week-end. We decided we could go all together on the beach and have some fun. So we decided to go: Simon and his again girlfriend (I finally learnt her name's MinJung), HaHa and Byul, YeoJin, Clara, EunSik, Jihyo and Me and ChangMin. Jihyo had ask me to invite him so I could see he's a good friend and that she wanted us to become friend so I agree to it... for her.

We decided to leave early on saturday morning, we would spend the night there and come back sunday morning. We got to beach by car. In my car on the front passenger seat was Jihyo, behind Jihyo was Clara, next to her there was YeoJin and next to YeoJin, behind me there was ChangMin. In HaHa's car there was Byul next to him, Simon at the back and EunSik. The ride was quite fun, we put on some music and sang along, Jihyo was really excited. After 3 hours of ride we arrived at our little hotel. We entered the hotel and some decided that sharing rooms would be less expensive. Jihyo and I shared a room, Simon and MinJung shared a room too. While Byul was with YeoJin and Clara and EunSik shared his room with ChangMin. HaHa was alone in his hotel room.

"Jihyo, who are you sharing your room with ?" ChangMin asked.

"Oh, with Gary oppa why ?" she mongly answered.

"Is it ok ? Won't your mom kill you ?" he asked, ChangMin knows her mom very well as he often hang out in Jihyo's house when they were child. I watched them talk and waited for Jihyo's answer to him. I wanted to know what she was going to answer.

"It's nothing, they've been together for three years already, it's not the first time they spend a night together and she's not a baby anymore, she's already a full grown adult." YeoJin cut in.

"Ya ! Don't say it like that you make it seems weird !" Jihyo blushed lightly and I smiled whatching her. "My mother don't know Gary oppa is here, I jus told her I'll spend the weekend at YeoJin's".

"You're dating him for three years already?" ChangMin asked.

"Yeah, a little more like four years already" she answered proudly.

"So you're like what ? 21 years old ? So you met him at 18yo and he was like...22yo ?"

I frowned at what that man said, "what does he want ?" I thought. Jihyo was just Mong as usual.

"Yes, I think so why ?"

"You were still under age and he was already an adult" he had an acusing tone while he spoke to Jihyo.

"Yes and what? I was under age for only few months... And what are you trying to say oppa ?" she cutely frowned her brow as she did not understood what he meant.

"Oh nothing, it's just that it's weird to think that that little girl who always came in my house crying because her mom scloded her is already that big" he said and laughed. Jihyo laughed too.

"I'm not a baby oppa !" she sulked. He ruffled her hair and laughed. Feeling jealous I cut in.

"MongJi" I called and took her arm. "Come, I'll help you bring up your belonging" and I took her away from him. She smiled and hold my hand.

We got in our room and I put down her things. "Thank you oppa" she thanked me and kissed my cheek.

"MongJi-ha..."

"Oh ?"

"Oppa's jealous..." I decided to tell her honestly.

"Why ?" she got closer to me and caressed my cheeks with her hands.

"I don't like how he talks to you" I pouted.

"Oppa... please make an effort please, he's just a friend I swear !" she looked at me with her puppy eyes

"I trust you, but I don't trust him" I told her and she kissed my pouting lips. The kiss became more passionate and after she broke the kiss. "Oppa, try to learn to know him and you'll see, there's no need to be jealous" she smiled to me. I smiled back and hugged her tightly. She answered my hug.

"Aigoo, what should I do without you hu ?" I said and she laughed.

At night we enjoyed meet and good food on the beach, and we started to drink and played stupid games. It was really fun. By then we were all drunk. We started a card game. The one with the Ace card choose two numbers and the two who have the numbers have to do what the one with the ace card say. It was fun, we were drunk.

During the first round EunSik and Byul had to take off a clothe, Byul took off her jacket and EunSik took off his jeans. We were laughing hard.

During the second round Simon and Clara had to dance the valse together.

During the third round Byul and HaHa had to kiss. (HaHa was glad he was picked with Byul to not have another people kissing his girl)

Another round EunSik had to take off his shirt and Clara took of her socks.

Another round. EunSik had the ace card and he picked my number so I stood up and MinJung's one. He told us to kiss. MinJung came to me, then she kissed me on the lips. We pulled back quickly. I wiped my lips with my hand and saw Jihyo was glaring at me. I gulped down and saw she gulped down the end of the soju bottle there was in front of her. I quickly sat down as I had a hard time staying up because I was to drunk. 

The next round, Jihyo's number got picked and she stood up, the second number was called by Simon and ChangMin stood up. "Deep Kiss !" Simon screamed. Jihyo glared at me and she walked to ChangMin, she crossed her arms around his neck and pulled him for a kiss. Then she quickly pulled back and glared at me once again and came back to her seat. ChangMin was smiling, he was all happy. When Jihyo sat back near me I glared at her too, we were both glaring. We started arguing. We were to drunk to be rational. We yelled at each other. I hardly stood up and took her wrist. I pulled her with me to our hotel and then to our room.

The others were too drunk to realized what had happened and continued the game. YeoJin got picked with ChangMin and they had to kiss too.

Meanwhile in our room Jihyo and I drunkly fought.

"Just a friend hu ?" I yelled at her.

"And you, have you seen yourself ? Kissing that MinJung ? You liked it ?"

"What ? It was because of the game and she came to me !"

"It was also for the game for me!" she yelled.

"Yeah but YOU kissed HIM !!" I couldn't control my jealousy anymore. We were drunk so we played tat stupid game and we stupidly got jealous.

"Stop ! I don't want to fight with you !" she added.

"Yeah let's stop !" I yelled.

"You're unbeliveble, you're the one saying you're jealous and you kiss her !" Jihyo added, she sat on the bed because she was to drunk to stood up.

"It took you so long for being with me, for me to say I love you but you only need a few minutes with him to kiss him !!" I yelled back. I remembered that face he had, the look on his face. The man was way to happy to be kissed by her.

"You don't uderstand anything" she added and I sat next to her because my head started to hurt.

"Arrasso, I'm sorry... We shouldn't have played that stupid game ! It's fair, we both kissed somoene else!" I told her and she looked at me and blinked a few times. Gosh we were so drunk.

"Yeah, you're right... It's fair, let's stop fighting" and she leaned toward me to kiss me. I answered her kiss and pushed her down. We kept kissing. We were both crazy because of the alchool in our body we couldn't realized what we were doing. I started to take off my clothes and to caressed her. She pulled me closer and kept the kiss ongoing. I became more and more crazy, I started to un button her short and she finally got back to the reallity. She tried to push me away but I did not understood right away what I was doing nor what she was trying to do.

Just then I opened my eyes and looked at her face. That's when I saw that look on her face, it was the same look she had when she was doing those awfull nightmares 3 years ago in the hospital, at that moment I got my sense back and understood what I was doing, I felt terrible, I let her arms and stood up, then I sat down on the ground next to the bed.

"Oppa..." she whined

"Mianhe, Miahne ! I'm so so sorry, I'm sorry".

She stood up from the bed and sat next to me on the ground  "You scared me oppa..." she said almost crying, damn I felt so bad, I hugged her and her back. It felt like suddenly we were both sobber.

"Forgive me Jihyo please, I'm really sorry" I started to tear up, how can I did that to her.

She heard my sob, broke the hug and cupped my face, we were both crying, she looked in my eyes  "I forgive you oppa" and she pecked my lips.

"But oppa, I don't feel good right now."

I cried "I'm sorry, how can I do that to you, I'm so sorry..."

She held my hand. "Oppa, I'm sorry too. It's not your fault we were drunk"

"No, there's no excuses..." I felt so bad, I was disgusting myself.

"I'm going to wash my face" she said between her sob. I nodded and she stood up and went to the bathroom, she closed the door. I stood up and stood in front of the door.

"MongJi-ha..." I waited for her answer.

"Oh ?"

"I'm going to go and sleep with DongHoon tonight. I'll be comming back tomorrow morning, I think it should be better that way don't you think so ?" I wanted to let her alone, I never wanted t hurt her and I couldn't even face her right now. I thought she would like to be away from me to calm down, and how could she sleep if she's scared of me.

"Oh." I heard her answer. She agreed to my proposition. I think she was relived. 

"Sleep tight baby" I told her and left the room.

What a jerk I am !

Just after I went in out, I needed to think about something else than that stupid me hurting the most wonderful girl I ever met. I went in the hallway and punched the wall hard, my hand hurted but I didn't care, because compared to what I've done my pain wasn't anything.

I went in DongHoon's room, he wasn't asleep yet. He opened me and I asked if everyone came back from the beach. He nodded and I asked him if I could stay with him for the night. He aggreed and asked me if everything was ok. He told me he saw us leave after the game and asked if we fought. I explained him everything. DongHoon was the only one among all of my friends and Jihyo's friends to know about Jihyo's past, he also was the only one to know that I went in such hopital and that we met there. He was my friend since we were little. He took care of Jihyo like his little sister and often joked calling her sister-in-law. He patted my back and told me it would be ok. That I shouldn't worry to much.

The next morning, I woke up on the couch in HaHa's room. I stood up silently and let him sleep. I went in our room silently and saw Jihyo was still asleep. It relived me to see she slept and also that I would not have to face her now. I felt to guilty to look in her pretty eyes for now. I took my belongings and went back in HaHa's room to take a shower. I stunk of alchool. After my shower I went down to eat breakfast. Little by little the others joined me and we ate together. ChangMin got down as well.

"Where's Jihyo ?" he asked. I glared at him and HaHa slapped my leg carefully with his leg. I stopped glaring.

"She's still sleeping" I said and resumed eating.

Twenty minutes after, Jihyo got down, she had her sunglasses on and greeted everyone. She sat next to YeoJin at the end of the table. We did not exchange a word. When asked why she had her sunglasses on she lied saying her face was so puffy from the drinking session but I knew it was from the tears she shed because of me. After eating and getting ready we left the hotel and got back in Seoul. In my car next to me there was EunSik, behind there were Jihyo, Clara and YeoJin. In HaHa's car there was Byul next to him, ChangMin, SimonD and MinJung behind.

In Seoul, I dropped of YeoJin, then Clara. After I dropped Jihyo in the street next to her house to avoid her mom. As EunSik was still in the car we just bid goodbye causually as if nothing happened but we did not kiss, nor touch, nor I looked into her eyes. I then dropped EunSik and went back home. I spent the day doing nothing...

The day after in college I saw her waiting me at her usual place, I didn't except her to be here today, I felt bad again and when she saw me she smiled at me. That sweet smile broke my heart even more, how could I've done such a thing and how could she forgive me like this ?. I stopped in front of her, head down, watching the ground.

"Oppa, annyeong" she said. I answered her still avoiding her eyes. "Oh, annyeong".

"Ya, oppa !" I looked at her face, "Aren't you gonna kiss me today ?" she asked disappointed. I looked at her eyes in confusion, was she doing as if nothing had happened ?

"Aish, this won't do... Come here" she said as she sighed, grabbed my arm and pulled me in the building, to a place where there wasn't anybody around, we then entered in a storage room, she sat on the ground, leaning against the wall, and she made me a sign to come sit next to her and I did. She turned sideway to face me and I followed her act, we were facing each other and she took both my hands in hers.

"Oppa, why are you acting like this ? You don't love me anymore ? Is it because I said no to you..." her eyes started to get watery, tears started to flow. Seeing her tears I panicked.

"No, No !! That's not that, why are you crying ? Don't cry honey, please don't cry". I said as I wiped her tears with my fingers. I then hold her face, I could feel tears forming in my eyes.

"This is not you, it's me... I'm so so sorry Jihyo-ya, I'm so sorry.. For what I did... I can't even watch you in the eyes after my deed. How can I hurt you like this..."

"Oppa..." She cut me and started to sobbed again. "It's ok, it's ok..oppa, I'm the one sorry, I know how you feel, I know that you can't help it because you're a man. I know that you would not hurt me on purpose and we both were drunk. I forgive you because it's also my fault, to not be able to give you what you need".

"Stop Jihyo, even if I'm a man, my act isn't forgivable, I was a jerk, I did like other do, I became like those people and I'm not that different from all those bastard..."

"Oppaaaaaa..." She cried lourder and hugged me tightly. "Stop saying that oppa.... You..are...not like them. You're good... you're kind, and you're always here for me like you always was. I'm sorry to not be able to show you my love, I'm not ready yet... I can't but... I hope one day I'll can. One day.. I..I."

I broke the hug to cut her off and kissed her on the lips. "I don't care, I don't need you to do that to show me your love, I know you love me and I love you. isn't all that matter. I don't care if you'll never be ready because I won't ever leave you. Don't put pressure on you, this is not necessary."

She smiled at me: "You see, you're not like other" I smiled at her too.

"Jihyo, I lied just now.... I need you to prove your love for me... And to do that I just need you to answer to only one simple question...." She looked at me confused and waited for the question.

"Will you marry me ?" I finally said it....

Oh my god it's been SOOOOOO long since the last time I update something on AFF.... I'm truly sorry for the LONG wait. So to be forgiven today it's a double update :p I'll be back soon I hope for this story and the others. In 10 days I'll be FREE and I'll get FREE time so I'll be able to write and update. It feels so good to be back and to write down again ! Four chapters left till the end of that story I'm excited to soon be able to write a lot and to finish that story! See you soon guys and if you liked or even if you disliked or maybe did not understood something just leave a comments !! (I hope there's not a lot of mistake. Too lazy to check down he grammar and all so forgive me !)