Kwangmin remembers tucking Youngkwang to bed last night, not forgetting to kiss the little child’s forehead as he drifted deeper to his slumber. Kwangmin also remembers that afterwards, he went to his bedroom and found out that his wife, Yoon Bora, and now more known as Jo Bora, was already asleep peacefully on their shared bed. Kwangmin kissed her forehead too, just like what he did to his son, and joined them both to La-La Land.

Kwangmin perfectly remembers that he’s supposed to be a thirty five years old man.

So, when Kwangmin wakes up this morning in his old room in his mom’s house, his wife is nowhere to be found, he almost has a heart attack. Kwangmin instinctively takes a look at his surroundings, and his eyes stuck on the calendar on his nightstand that showing ‘November 2013’. Kwangmin needs no time to remember what had happened on November 2013, back when he was just a sixteen years old boy.

Kwangmin sees his old phone lying beside the calendar, feeling odd when he has to touch the keypad to unlock the screen because every gadget he has now needs no actual keypad to operate, all he needs to do is touch the holographic keypad which basically means that he just has to touch the air. After the phone’s screen is unlocked, Kwangmin immediately directs his eyes to the top of it, feeling dizzy all of a sudden as he notices today’s date.

4^th November 2013 is shown on the screen.

Kwangmin is so confused at this moment. Everything is just too weird to be true. Kwangmin slaps his face just in case this is all just a dream. Yet, as the fifth slap reaches his face and nothing has changed in front of him, Kwangmin realizes that he’s not in one of his bizarre dreams. This is all a reality.

The images of Bora and Youngkwang abruptly cross Kwangmin’s mind, doubting that if they are both real or not. However, those memories he has with both of them are just too vivid to not be true. Kwangmin remembers the first time he met Bora at the airport, their first date, their first kiss, their first anniversary and their other anniversaries, his proposal to her on her 27^th birthday, their wedding, the first time they heard the news about her pregnancy through a doctor, and also the time where Youngkwang finally came to this world. There’s no way all of them are just his imaginations.

But then again, even if Kwangmin insists that Bora and Youngkwang are not just his imaginations, the reality that he currently is in displays that he’s not a thirty five years old pilot like he’s supposed to be. Now, Kwangmin is just a sixteen years old high school student who wakes up on the day when his beloved twin will tragically die and the day when he begins to go comatose for 42 days.

“Wait.” Kwangmin says to himself as he realizes something.

Kwangmin racks his brain very hard, thinking that if he’s just a sixteen years old boy, he shouldn’t know that Youngmin will die today. And no, as far as Kwangmin can recall, he has no history of having future sights or something like that. God never sends him any sign of what will happen in the future. Even as the death of his other half was coming closer, God still didn’t give him any sign so that at least he could prepare himself for the future hurtful impact.

Time travel is the only thing that he can think about to describe this impossible situation. Kwangmin nearly scoffs at the idea because seriously, even on 2032, there’s no scientist who can successfully create a time machine yet. Time travel is just in the movies anyway, there’s no way human can go back to the past just to correct their mistakes, unless God decides to lend them His almighty power to do so.

Perhaps that’s also the reason why God throws him to this day, to correct the most fatal mistake he made before, preventing Youngmin to jump from the parapet.

***

After getting himself ready, which makes him feel so awkward as he wraps his body with his old uniform, finally realizing how lanky he was in high school, Kwangmin goes downstairs to see the younger version of his mom sitting in the dining room, eyes looking at a distance, letting the toast she has getting cold. As Kwangmin sits himself down on the chair beside Mrs. Lee, no, Mrs. Jo, she immediately snaps away from her train of thoughts, looking at him with a forced smile.

Kwangmin takes a glance at his mom’s face. Although at this period Mrs. Jo can make enough money to support her life and her children’s lives, there’s still something missing in her life, and it’s obviously showing in her gorgeous feature, even if she likes to hide it all because she’s the independent type of woman, the type who doesn’t want anyone to feel pity for her, the type who doesn’t want anyone to think that she’s weak.

The thing that Kwangmin thinks is still missing in his mom’s life is happiness. No matter how much money people can earn, still, money can’t buy them happiness, and that’s what happens to Mrs. Jo. Luckily, 43 days from now, exactly a day after Kwangmin waking up from coma, Mrs. Jo will meet someone who will bring her happiness back, the happiness that she truly deserves, the happiness that has gone along with her beloved husband.

That someone Kwangmin talks about is Lee Jinki.

Mr. Lee is a psychiatrist in Seoul National University Hospital. Mr. Lee is the one who will help Kwangmin overcoming his shock and depression knowing that Youngmin is no longer in this world, knowing that he can’t save his twin, and knowing that he’s the one who caused this unfortunate disaster. If it’s not because of Mr. Lee’s wise words, Kwangmin might not be able to live a normal life anymore.

At first, there will be just a professional relationship between Mr. Lee and Mrs. Jo. Mr. Lee will just be the psychiatrist and Mrs. Jo will just be the parent of his patient. But, as one therapy session to another therapy session pass by, mutual respect will grow in each other’s hearts. Mr. Lee will be amazed to see how strong Mrs. Jo is to calmly handle this situation and Mrs. Jo will be delighted to see how patient Mr. Lee is to tenderly face her unstable son.

As expected, the mutual respect turns into love later on, and Kwangmin can’t help but giving his support for them because Mr. Lee is a very nice man and he’s aware that his mom needs a partner like Mr. Lee to fulfill the emptiness in her heart. Moreover, Kwangmin can get along quite well with Lee Sungyeol, Mr. Lee’s childish, bubbly kid from his previous marriage. Even if the older boy is sometimes too much with his lame jokes, Kwangmin still likes him.

So, there will be no excuse for Kwangmin to object when almost three years after his first therapy session, Mr. Lee gets down on his knee and proposes to his mom at a park as he, his mom, Mr. Lee, and Sungyeol spend a day picnicking to enjoy the lovely view of cherry blossoms blooming. Kwangmin will smile widely and Sungyeol will scream excitedly as Mrs. Jo will say yes shyly.

Kwangmin’s mind comes back to reality as a soft hand makes its way onto the top of his head, his hair gently.

“Hey, honey, how are you doing lately?” Mrs. Jo asks Kwangmin and he feels like answering mom, I’m not fine, I’m miserable. Everything will be a mess this afternoon and I’m not even sure how to stop it. But, Kwangmin knows that his mom will be suspicious and worry if he says that. Plus, this is all because of him, the consequence of being too ignorant to his sibling. So, he should be the one who has to take the responsibility.

“I’m fine, mom.” Kwangmin replies with the same words he used before. As expected, Mrs. Jo doesn’t buy Kwangmin’s words, stopping herself from caressing the dark locks, putting her hand neatly on the table, before saying. “I’m not dumb, Kwangmin. I know that something is going on between you and your brother.”

Kwangmin tries so hard to stabilize his emotion so that his mom will stop asking question because seriously, they make him feel guilty and helpless, and this is not the right time to feel things like that. “Mom.” Kwangmin dares himself to look right at Mrs. Jo’s eyes. The worry is evident in those two orbs, but it doesn’t decrease their beauty. “You don’t need to worry about us. It’s nothing, really.”

If Mrs. Jo can detect that everything Kwangmin says is a total bull, he hopes that she will just let it go.

“Kwangmin is right.” Youngmin enters the dining room out of nowhere. The urge of hugging his brother right here and there, telling him how much he misses the older boy, is so strong, but he opts to hold it down because it will give his mom a legitimate proof that something is indeed wrong between them. It’s the least thing Kwangmin needs right now. “It’s really nothing, mom.” Youngmin continues.

Mrs. Jo still stubbornly doesn’t believe in her sons’ words, averting his gaze to Youngmin, then to Kwangmin, and back again to Youngmin in confusion. Kwangmin finally realizes why children shouldn’t lie to their mothers. Mothers always know whether their children are lying or not, no matter how good their acting skills are. Mothers’ instinct is something that all children shouldn’t take so lightly.

“I know it’s not nothing.” Mrs. Jo eventually speaks.

Youngmin simply shrugs his shoulders, as if making a plan to commit suicide is not even a big deal. Kwangmin just wants to scream at his twin, begging him to get his head back on the right path. Kwangmin can’t do that though because he’s not supposed to know about this crazy plan. So, he has no choice but to stay silent, although his heart silently shattering into pieces.

“I’m positive it’s nothing. We just decided to take different paths in our life. Kwangmin will fly high into the sky and I will fall off the cliff.” And with that, Youngmin walks away from the dining room. Feeling depressed, Kwangmin chooses to ignore every of his mom’s questions regarding Youngmin’s ambiguous words. If only Kwangmin wasn’t that dumb and naïve back then, perhaps he could decipher the meaning behind those words, the death message behind them.

“Don’t you know that the reason I fly is to search for you in the sky?” That question is stuck in Kwangmin’s throat like sputum as he intensely watches Youngmin’s retreating back.

***

A/N: There's no certain reason I chose 4^th March 2013. I just randomly chose the date. Anyway, I'm so sorry if this kinda because I've been busy lately and this is my first fanfiction since forever. I feel like my writing skill is worsening. OTL

Edit: Oh wow, silly me, I didn't realize I wrote "it's almost snowing" on the day Youngmin fell down in the previous story, so now I change it to 4^{th November 2013. I'm so sorry for this careless mistake. @_@}