I should apologize since I've not updated in a whileeeeeeeee. So, sorry guys. I've been concentrating on University, butttttttttt- I shall continue this and shall try and do so at a reasonable pace. ^-^:

And I just want to thank everyone who has read up until thhis point and supported me. So thanks again guys!

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015

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When Jiyong woke again, he woke naturally. It wasn't abrupt or unwanted, just natural and needed. He felt the comfort of the duvet wrapped around him like he caterpillar hiding within his cocoon waiting to turn into a butterfly. His eyes opened slowly and he emerged from the duvet, his feet now on the soft floor beneath him as he stands up right. He starts his day clear headed, like nothing happened, like he didn't see Seunghyun leave him this morning.

A phone call diverted his attention in the process of getting ready, it was Yang-  whom in a slightly concerned way invited Jiyong in to a meeting with the other members, one which in Jiyong's mind, must be everyone but the man who'd left him this morning. He brushed it off because deep down, Jiyong was a little worried about how he was able to bottle his own emotions up like nothing had ever happened.

When Jiyong walked into the room everyone looked worried, completely concerned but he looked no different from normal, even a slight smile- like nothing at all had happened. Yang knowing everything was shocked so much that he looked at the other members who were sitting around the table with widened eyes.

“Hmm~ So what is this about then?” Jiyong said whist placing his phone and car keys on the table waiting for some kind of explanation of why he'd been called in for a meeting along with the others, even though he figured it would be about Seunghyun's absence.

“Hey- Jiyong. Do you feel okay?” Youngbae uttered quietly causing Jiyong to look up him whist touching his own face in interest, feeling for heat in case he was getting a fever.

“Why? Do I not look okay?” Jiyong asked all four men looked bewildered.

“Do you not know about Seunghyun?” Yang asked needing for it to be let out into the open. Jiyong nodded not really reacting much to the question because truthfully Jiyong didn't know how to react to it.

“He left this morning, said he didn't know how long he was going for, said he needed time to think-” Jiyong said before letting out a small laugh but still, he had a flash of pain in his expression, in that moment Yang was almost expecting him to break down- but Jiyong didn't, far from it.

“It's Seunghyun. I guess I'm not even surprised by his actions since they're so typical.” Jiyong added causing the other four to feel somewhat awkward.

“Well as you know, we are still on a YG tour so, he will be present during those events- and when needed for the album too.” Yang explained not just to Jiyong but to everyone.

“Since we're here- and together then I thought I'd let you know I'll be moving in Dolce Vita for a while.” Jiyong explained in a soft tone of voice.

“I can't stay at Seunghyun's place, it's not really appropriate.” He added causing Yang to nod. Yang knew what Jiyong was saying meant, I meant he wanted time off, a holiday- healing time, something to help him relax and Yang was in no position to stop him. The meeting came to an end and Jiyong went back to Seunghyuns and started packing essential items he'd need.

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The first day went slowly. He arrived late at night went getting to Dolce Vita- mainly to avoid his parents. He didn't really want to explain himself quite yet, although they knew he was coming and had booked the room out for a month for him, Jiyong still didn't feel like discussing the matter, well at least not with his parents. Jiyong sat in his room at Dolce Vita that night and pondered whist looking at the dimly lighted view outside. He picked up his phone whist letting out a sigh before dialling.

“It seems odd that you'd call someone like me” The voice on the other end muttered causing Jiyong to scoff slightly at the arrogance.

“Are you free? Let's go for a drink or something. I've got something I want to talk to you about.” Jiyong put his offer out on the table, out in the open. He was looking for answers. If Seunghyun was doing his own soul searching, Jiyong figured he should do the same. There was a somewhat shocked pause in the conversation.

“I do happen to be free- You can come to mine if you'd like, seeing as this seems to be so important.” The man muttered in a friendlier manner, surprising Jiyong a little.

“Can you send me the address- I'll be there in a bit.” Jiyong asked. “Sure” was all the older male had to say before the phone call ended. Just like that, Jiyong knew what he needed to do.

Jiyong was confused about everything and it did hurt, it really did.

This was the beginning of his healing process- He also needed to figure something out if him and Seunghyun were ever to work out- If he ever comes back, If Jiyong can trust him again, if...

There seemed to be so much doubt now, days ago there was none- maybe Jiyong had been too absorbed in himself to notice that Seunghyun never really did feel better, or maybe he did, maybe Seunghyun didn't have a reason, maybe it was random, maybe it was planned. Everything was so unclear. Jiyong received the text of the address and didn't hesitate to drive there.

He was greeted to a man that in many ways was almost like Seunghyun- wise, intellectual, established and private. It seemed fitting that he ended up here, at John's apartment. He was greeted like an old friend, it wasn't particularly awkward, but it wasn't 100% comforting either. Jiyong wondered how their relationship would have been like, it was odd picturing it, since Jiyong couldn't imagine Seunghyun being with anyone other than himself. John poured them both generous glasses of wine before that sat down comfortably.

“So, You were right-” Jiyong cut to the chase. The older male didn't really react, but his eyes met with the younger males in a slightly sympathetic way knowing that he must be hurting- after all John had been through it all before. The older male stayed quiet whist grabbing his cigarette packet, offering one to Jiyong kindly. The younger male accepted and lit up, dragging hard. John did the same- it seemed to keep balance of reality.

“I thought you'd say something like 'I told you so'” Jiyong scoffed before breaking a smile, one of the first real smiles of the day- it was genuine, even in this situation.

“I'm not that type of person- If anything I sympathize with you. It's not like I wanted it to happen.” John said softly causing Jiyong to fall back into the sofa.

“Ah- this won't do.” Jiyong said putting out his cigarette and sighing once more. “What are you views on drugs?” Jiyong suddenly asked causing John to laugh subtly.

“You got any?” John asked curiously. “Just a few joints, you mind though?” Jiyong despite them nothing having a stable relationship trusted John- The older male swayed his head side to side, indicating it was fine. Jiyong offered him one out of politeness but was almost surprised when he accepted.

“I guess you being in the states for a while got you used to these kind of things” Jiyong muttered causing John to let out a soft laugh whist fixing his glasses.

“Something like that-” John smiled before replacing his cigarette with a joint.

“I feel like I was too quick to judge you, in a way, even we are more alike than I once thought” Jiyong uttered as smoke filled the room with the normal aroma of weed. John couldn't help but smile further finding the younger male slightly amusing.

“Is this what happened with you though, you wake up one morning to see he's leaving-” Jiyong said his face dropping slightly- The older male sighed before sipping on his wine.

“Should I just tell you my side of the story?” John asked calmly causing Jiyong to just nod, deep down wanting to know. His curiosity always so overwhelming.

“Hmm- Well. It started on and off after we finished filming 'Into the fire'. We'd meet up, I guess something similar to dating. It was an odd progress, but during that time I think he went through a slight Identity crisis- he's never clear with his emotions but I'm sure that was what it was. He'd always liked men, I just don't think he wanted to acknowledge it back then. He backed off for a while whist going through that stage, cleared his mind.” John explained whist crossing his legs in a sophisticated manner. Jiyong's eyes hadn’t moved from the older man.

“He realised what he wanted- after that things went smoothly, no real hitches. Although no matter what he was never open about the relationship, we never mentioned it to people, it was a secret relationship if you can call it that. After a year schedules began getting in the way- we'd spend less time together since he was on tour and I was filming. We'd still see as much of each other as possible but then he came over one night, packed his stuff and broke it off- I guess back then for me, it came as a massive shock.” John added.

“He does have odd ways of dealing with his thoughts, that's for sure” Jiyong muttered softly. “Running away doesn't get things solved, especially when I'm going through the same stress” The younger male couldn't see sense in Seunghyun's actions, to everyone, it just seemed like he'd run away.

“He doesn't cope well with stress.” John remarked. “In fact, I was expecting to get a phone call back when the first batch of photos leaked-” John said honestly causing Jiyong to pout slightly.

“Well, that's when things went downhill. So I guess your prediction isn't far off.” Jiyong felt as if he should have listened to John from the start- after all, seeing how hurt John was back then, surly that itself wasn't a good sign. Jiyong blamed himself.

“Where'd he run off too then?” John asked curiously.

“Japan, which seems so ridiculous considering he's at even communicating in Japanese.” Jiyong scoffed not being able to react any other way. John laughed subtly at the younger males remark before sipping generously on his wine. Jiyong did the same in-between smoking.

“I... I haven't exactly reacted much to the situation.” Jiyong says slowly causing John to look at the younger male in interest “I thought I'd be a mess- crying everywhere, moping around but I'm not... I can't figure it out” Jiyong added.

“That's probably because you trust him.” John said with a soft smile as Jiyong poured himself another glass of wine, wanting another drink. It made sense though, what John was saying- Maybe Jiyong did trust Seunghyun that much that he knew he'd come back. But Jiyong knew that trust wouldn't last, the longer the distance the more insecure he'd grow.

“Maybe- but there's no guarantee that he'd come back and things to pick up where they left off.” Jiyong said with some seriousness.

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” John spoke with wisdom, a quote which caught Jiyong's attention further- John had been hurt just like Jiyong but even now, the older male looked composed and happy in life, content. Jiyong knew just by that, that he would also be fine. Because Jiyong had to be, he had to find composure, his own happiness. If he couldn't find happiness alone how would he ever find it with another person. As he smoked more, the more he spoke- the more he felt like all his problems were leaving him, and the more he spoke, the more John and Jiyong bonded through the hurt they'd both been through

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