(My POV)

Back in Korea 2 months later......

"Oh my gosh!!!!! Marieeeee!!!! faster!!!" Gen squealed

"What? what? what??"

"They are asking Kai about the girl he was seen with in Japaaaan!!!"

Host: Ah Kai...there were pictures going around the internet that shows you in Japan with a girl...may we ask who is she? are you dating her?

Kai: (blushing) hehehe..uummmm..yeah I saw the pics too..I was kind of lost in Akihabara and since I don't know Japanese it was difficult to ask around how to go back to our hotel..she asked me if I need help and luckily she speaks Korean so she helped me..she gave me a tour around Akihabara and she brought me back to our hotel..

Host: so are you dating her?

Kai: no...I feel stupid because we spent a couple of hours together but I forgot to ask her name...... (blushes again)

Host: oh! you don't even know where she lives?

Kai: no :(

Host: would you like to send her a video message in case she is watching right now..

Kai: hello! I hope you still remember me..I want to say thank you again for taking the time to guide me around Japan and for taking me back to our hotel. I'm sorry I forgot to ask your name and where you are from.. I hope one day we can meet again and then I will give you a tour around Korea and bring yo back to your hotel..

"Oh my hearrrrtttttt!!! Marieeee!!!"

"I know Gen...I know..."

"I need ice cream!"

"Check it Gen, There's some left on the freezer"

"Oooops....Jonghyun ate the ice cream"

"Why did Jonghyun eat my ice cream??"

"Yeah, why did Jonghyun ate Marie's ice cream?"

"Because!! O___O"

"okay..I'll buy ice cream...anything else you both want from the convenience store?"

"Nopes" Gen said...

"I want something spicy" Ayie said...

"Okies!"

 

At the convenience store.......

There's a group of like five guys hovering over the ice cream freezer...

"Umm..excuse me..."

The guy next to me looked at me and as our eyes meet....I realize I'm looking at the most gorgeous pair of dark brown eyes that smiled when he said...

"It's you!!! You're here!!"

"Hey! yes it's me!" I beamed at Kai

"You're really here!!" he took my hands and he turned around to tell the other Exo members

"She's the girl I met at Japan! She's the one I was talking about!!"

"Aaaah..." cooed the boys....

"Hello!" I said...

"what's your name?" asked Chanyeol

"where do you live?" Luhan said

"what country are you from?" said Chen

"whoa! one at a time... I'm Marie, I live around this area, I'm from Philippines"

"are we the same age?" kai finally asked

"nope..I'm 11 years older than you"

"oh..I see..that's okay...you said you live around this area?"

"yeps..why?"

"then..this is payback time...I'll walk you to your house"

As we found out, we live a couple of buildings away....

That was the start of our friendship that developed into something deeper...

At first being with Kai feels like it was the closest to heaven that I can be..he's sweet, caring, thoughtful, understanding and for some reason he is matured for his age..

Aside from his endearing qualities, with Kai is AMAZING!! no words can describe how I feel when I hold him in my arms and me in his.. my heart swells just by watching him sleep..the way his chest rise and drop steadily..the ways his eyes though completely shut moves while he's dreaming..his slightly delicious parted lips..his luscious hair that I can't get enough of..and of course his abs!!

But as time goes on, his career continuosly progresses..they have more concerts abroad..that means we have limited time together..we live on phone calls and texts and chat messages..at first it was okay..but it is taking now it's toll on our relationship...

Just last week, we had a huge fight..he was picked as the Exo member to be in the latest season of We Got Married..

"NO!! I don't want you to be part of that show!!"

"Well, you can't do anything about it..the has decided already!"

"Why tell me when I don't have any say on it??"

"Since when did you have a say on what happens with my career? What do you know about the entertainment industry?"

"Fine! Just don't expect me to support your program!"

"Fine!"

He slammed the door as he got out of my apartment...He didn't come back that night....

 

I was 31 when I met Kai and now I'm celebrating my 33rd birthday.. We have a reservation at the Namsan tower..We are supposed to meet at 7pm..It is now 8pm and Kai still not here..I texted him..

Me: where are you? we are supposed to meet at 7pm..it's now 8pm..

Kai's reply came in 30 minutes later...

Kai: we are still at the shoot..there was a technical problem and we have to re-shoot some portions of the MV..

Me: what time will you be finished?

Kai: i dunno yet...by the way, what's with today? why are supposed to have dinner there?

Me: forget it...I'm going home...

Kai: okay.. I'll see you later...

He forgot my birthday....HE FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!! I feel hot tears building up...I signaled the waitress for the bill...I paid and left the restaurant without touching any of the food I ordered...

 

As I'm going home I reflected on what's happening with my life.. I'm 33 years old..I have a stable job..I have a nice apartment..I got a savings not as much as other people but more than enough for me to feel secure..I'm at an age that I was supposed to have a family..but here I am, driving alone after my boyfriend stood me up for my birthday dinner..the people who know that Jongin and I are together thought we are doing great..that despite our 11 year and the different kind of works that we have we can surpass everything...but that's not the case.. Ayie's pregnancy with her first child with Jonghyun, Gen adopting a beautiful baby girl and getting engaged with her boyfriend and Ginger finally agreeing to marrying the guy her aunt set up with, these situations made me realize what I don't have with Jongin..A future..The future is something that Jongin and I never talked..If I'm at the age where I should be having a family of my own, Jongin is at the age where he is at the peak of his career at having a family life is still very far in the future..As much as I love Jongin, he leaves me no choice but to let him go.....

 

The next day.....

"What time did you come home last night?" I asked Kai as he walked in the kitchen while I'm cooking breakfast....

"Around 2am I guess..." he said..."What's the occasion yesterday?"

"My birthday......" I said pointedly...

"Oh !"

"Yeah! Oh !" Iam barely containing my anger...

"Noona, I'm sorry!" he hugged me really tight..."I'm sorry I forgot...it's just that our schedule is really hectic...Let me make it up to you..okay?" he kissed the top of my head..

"okay..let's have dinner tonight.."

"tonight? I can't...It's Lee Soo Man seonsaengnim's birthday..we have a company dinner"

"That's it!!! I can't do this anymore!!" I threw the spatula and it clangs as it hit the floor

"Noona......"

"I know your work comes first but I can't always be your second or your third choice! Iam not an option! I can't always adjust to your schedule! Just because I'm older than you I will always understand you! We are in a relationship, we have to give and take..we have to compromise..but since last year all I do is give give give!! When was the last time you thought of me? most of the time I feel that you just come to me for !"

"You know that's not true! I've always thought about you..that's why I always buy a lot of present for you when we go abroad..."

"Do you have plans of marrying me sometime in the future?"

Kai was so shocked with my question that it took him a couple of seconds to answer....

"Ummm...marriage...aaaaahhh....you know that...uummm...with my career..noona....that's far from my mind right now...."

"Then I guess there's no reason for us to be together anymore....."

"you don't love me anymore?"

"I do..I love you so much...but I love myself too...and if I can't have a future with you what's the point of all this?"

"Noona please...no...don't break up with me....." he was crying and he he clinged to me...it breaks my heart more to see him cry and hurt....

"Don't cry Jongin...it hurts to see you cry..."

"Then don't leave me!" he wailed......

"Jongin this is the best for the both of us...I need someone who I can rely on..someone who can be there for me..and you need someone who can keep up with you..I can't be that girl for you...I'm sorry...."

"Noona!! no......please...no.....I can't!"

"Hush Jongin...you can...one day you will meet someone better than me..definitely younger than me.."

"But I don't want anyone else! I want you! I love you so much noona!! Please!!"

"I love you too..more than you'll ever know..but we don't know...maybe one day..someday..if it's our fate to be together, if we are really meant for each other..we will meet again..." I kissed Jongin tasting the saltiness of his tears "I love you....goodbye...." i hugged him tight one last time and pulled away....

 

Breaking up with Jongin was probably one of the most painful things I have to go through...but this is the best for the both of us..maybe one day...someday we will both get over the pain we feel right now...and when we meet again..if we meet again..if we still feel the same for each other..maybe we can try again.........