Warning: and . 

Daehyun was 18 when his mother brought home a little boy, no older than 10. 

His name was Youngjae, and he was Daehyun's brother. 

Youngjae was a charming little boy, cheery and sweet, who clung to Daehyun every chance he got and always demanded his brother to play with him. Daehyun adored Youngjae, even though they don't share more than a mother. 

Daehyun was 19 when his mom passed away, leaving two young boys to fend for themselves in the cruel harsh world, with no one to protect them.  

Youngjae was 11. 

Daehyun dropped out of school and started taking multiple jobs to support himself and Youngjae. His schedule started at 5:30 in the morning, where qhe prepared breakfast and get ready to take Youngjae soon. Youngjae woke up at 6, groggy and grumpy, face bloated, making his cheeks rounder and cuter, and Daehyun wanted to protect this precious boy forever. 

Daehyun dropped Youngjae at school and them went to work. He picked Youngjae up after school and continue working until 9, leaving Youngjae alone at home. Daehyun would go home every night, tired and worn out, and he would crash down on bed before he got a chance to ask Youngjae how was school that day. 

Things were hard, but Daehyun was okay. 

As long as his little brother was safe and happy, he was okay. 

Youngjae loved his hyung. Even though he only met his hyung for several years, it felt like they'd been family forever. Daehyun was much taller than Youngjae, but he wasn't big. Daehyun was skinny and average height, and sometimes, Youngjae wanted to protect his hyung instead, to wrap his arms around him and shield him from the brute force of the outside world, because Daehyun was just so worn and tired, and his shoulders were always hunched, making him looked smaller. 

Youngjae wanted to grow big and tall, taller than his hyung, because he wanted to protect him. 

Daehyun loved his brother, and he never wants him to get hurt. Youngjae was a sweet kid, but he didn't fit in middle school because he was shy. He was an outcast, spending time alone in the library and read a book by himself. 

He thought Youngjae preferred to be alone, to do thing by himself, until he caught the younger boy being bullied to a corner of the classroom, five bigger boys surrounding him and throwing insults at him. 

Daehyun saw red, and he jumped to them, pushing them out of the way and wrapped his arms around his brother. 

Some of the kids tried to fight back, but Daehyun managed to scare them away. 

One of them threatened to tell his older brother to beat Daehyun to the ground before he left, but Daehyun heed no attention, turning to his younger brother instead. 

Youngjae was sniffing, his shoulders trembled and face wet with tears. 

Daehyun hugged him and rocked him back and forth, humming a soothing melody for him. Youngjae slowly relaxed and closed his eyes, falling asleep in his hyung's arms. Daehyun smoothed his beaten cheeks, a huge purplish bruise decorated it, and cried. 

"Hyung is sorry, Youngjae." Daehyun's voice cracked. "Sorry I can't protect you." 

Youngjae woke up the next day, not wanting to go to school. He stubbornly stayed in his bed, refused to even have breakfast. Daehyun sighed, but didn't force the boy. He told him to behave and remember to eat lunch, and don't wait for him for dinner. 

Youngjae nodded and ducked his head under his cover. 

Daehyun sighed one last time before he walked out. 

It was 9:30 when Daehyun finally got home. Youngjae already went to bed, but he was woken up by the sounds of feet shuffling and floor creaking. 

He closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep when his hyung peeked in. 

He didn't want to face his hyung now. 

Youngjae woke up the next day, wanting to skip another day of school, but when he looked at his hyung's face, his eyes went wide open. 

There were a huge bruise on Daehyun's cheek and another one near his eyes, and his nose looked like it had been punched. His lips were cut. 

Daehyun looked terrible. 

Youngjae gulped before he asked his hyung what happened. 

Daehyun just shrugged it off and said that he was dragged into a fight at the bar. 

Youngjae wasn't convinced.

He knew it was because of him. 

Daehyun could feel the split between them, that small crack that gradually became bigger everyday. 

It started when Youngjae entered high school. He was 14, young and hot head, and Daehyun was 22, grown up too soon and matured too early. 

Youngjae had ditched his old style and started dressing in outfits with more edge, leather and chain. He started hanging out with the delinquent kids, although he did not drink or smoke. 

Daehyun didn't say it, but he didn't approve of Youngjae's group of friends. Daehyun thought Youngjae shouldn't be hanging with those kind of kids, because they would ruin him with their terrible way of life. 

Youngjae liked to hangout with them, because they were feared, and Youngjae liked the feeling of being feared by other. 

But one time, when Daehyun came to pick up Youngjae, much to his disagreement, one of the kids had left a crude remark about him, saying that he had "nice " and called him a , asking if they could borrow him for the night. 

Daehyun said it was okay, but Youngjae stopped hanging out with them after that. He convinced himself it wasn't because of Daehyun. It was because they didn't get along. 

Youngjae was in his second year of high school when he joined a biker gang, lead by one of the most fearful delinquent in school named Yongguk. Everyone thought Yongguk meant bad news, but Youngjae looked up to him. He was strong and feared by many, but also caring and protective of anyone he considered a friend, and Youngjae wanted to be like him. 

Yongguk took him in the gang with open arms, and he started hanging out more with them, spending his free time in Yongguk's garage instead of his home.

Daehyun didn't approve of this friendship, and this time, he openly opposed it. 

"He's a bad influence on you, Youngjae. Just listen to me and find another group of friends." 

"I hang out with who I want, hyung." 

"But why can't you hang out with someone good for you? Normal friends?"

"Shut up, hyung! Why do you care? You're never there. All you do is work!!"

Youngjae slammed the door to his room, leaving Daehyun to sit in the living room all alone. 

It was the first time they'd ever fought. 

Youngjae spent more time at Yongguk's, and less time at home. Sometimes, he would stayed back at Yongguk's place, preferred to be with his friends rather than his hyung. 

On his 16 birthday, Youngjae asked for a motorbike, and Daehyun, although reluctant, gave it to him. 

Youngjae was thrilled, eager to test out his new car with his friends. 

He was too excited to look back as his hyung, who stood sadly on the side by himself, his eyes dulled and shoulders shagged. 

Youngjae had grown so tall. He had grown much taller, and now he was taller than Daehyun, bigger than Daehyun, stronger than Daehyun. 

Youngjae was a thriving tree of the Spring, and Daehyun was a dying flower of the winter. 

Youngjae, his little boy, had grown, and didn't need his protection anymore.

Everything changed when Youngjae came home one night to get his clothes before heading to Yongguk's place.

He heard noises in Daehyun's room, noises that he'd never heard in his room before, and pushed the door of his hyung's room, worried. 

He stood petrified when the scene of another man hovering over his hyung's small frame came into his sight, both of them . 

Daehyun pushed the other male of and pulled the blanket up, shielding his body from the younger's view. He was blushing and shaking, both embarrassed and scared. The other man rubbed where he'd been forcefully pushed off as flicked his eyes to the boy at the door. 

"Who's that? Your lover?"

"No-... Youngjae I-" 

Upon hearing his voice, Youngjae snapped and walked forward, roughly pulled the other man off bed.

"Leave." Youngjae growled, eyes not leaving his hyung. The other man threw his hand up in defeat and quickly got dress. And before he left, he blew a kiss toward Daehyun, who was still petrified on bed, with nothing to cover himself but a thin sheet of clothe. 

When they were finally alone in the apartment, Youngjae turned to Daehyun and growled. "So this is what you've been doing when I'm gone." He sounded like a jealous lover, but Youngjae couldn't careless now. He stared at the older male, gaze burning.

"I-" Daehyun didn't get the chance to explain himself before Youngjae cut in. 

"You're a ing , Daehyun."  Youngjae said before he stomped out of the apartment, his hyung sat back on bed, stunned. 

He didn't look back to see the tears falling out of Daehyun's eyes, as sobs wracked his small body, as he curled up all by himself. 

Youngjae came home the next day, but there was a clear evidence of tension between the two. 

Daehyun tried to say sorry by making all the food Youngjae liked, but the younger only took a glance before he walked away. 

When Youngjae turned 18, he immediately moved out of the house. Yongguk had offered him an apartment to share, and he had enrolled into a college himself. Youngjae didn't study properly, but with his undeniable intelligent, he passed test with a breeze. 

Youngjae walked out of the house he'd been living in for the past 8 years, and out of the life of his big brother, who had loved him with all his heart and took care of him, although wasn't able to fill the missing gap Youngjae needed. 

Youngjae had grown taller and bigger than Daehyun, who was now too worn, too tired, too small. 

Youngjae said goodbye and turned his head away. 

Daehyun was 26. 

Youngjae was now 23, graduated college with a good degree and started working at a company with a good staring wage. He moved out of Yongguk's apartment, who now lived with his girlfriend and soon to be wife, Jieun. 

Youngjae was 23 and single. He was attractive, intelligent, and many women had tried to get him to come their way. 

Youngjae was never attracted. 

Instead, he felt his heart yearn for the one he had left years ago, broken and lonely, in the once warmth filled apartment. Youngjae missed him very much, but he didn't have the courage to go find him. 

Yongguk knew Youngjae's feeling, and encouraged him to go find Daehyun back. It was worth a try, Yongguk said. 

So Youngjae did. 

He fidgeted around nervously as he stood straight in front of the familiar door he hadn't seen in years. Nervousness and fear were swelling in his chest, but there was something more.

Hope. 

Youngjae rang the door, and he smiled when it opened. 

He was expecting the small figure, slumped shoulders and big eyes, in front of him. Instead, it was a young girl. 

She said that she didn't know who's Daehyun. 

Youngjae apologized for disturbing her, and went back, sighing. 

It was impossible. Daehyun didn't live here anymore. It'd be impossible to find him. 

He went back to his apartment, which suddenly seemed cold and unwelcome. 

It was Friday, and things had been stressful. So Youngjae decided to go to the club by himself, since Yongguk would be tying the knot soon, and long stopped indulge himself in the fun and ecstasy of the night. 

Youngjae decided to go to a new club, somewhere he'd never been to before

This club was more tamed, more for drinking and chatting than dancing, although music was still being played and people was still swaying with them on the floor. He called himself a drink before settled down on a seat at the bar. 

A few women approached him, and a few man, but he declined. Youngjae wasn't looking for trouble. 

But trouble came his way when a voice broke through the air.   

"Sir. Please get your hand off me." 

Youngjae's eyes snapped toward the scene, where a young man was grabbed by an older male by the wrist, who tried to pull him toward one of the room in the back. 

"Come on. Aren't you a staff? Isn't it your job to please a customer?" The man slurred, obviously drunk. 

The younger one stuttered, trying to pull back. "I-I am a staff, but I am a waiter. Sorry sir. I do not serve customer that way."

The other man persisted, pulling the weaker male back. Youngjae was disgusted that many people around, no one attempted to stop it. He stood up and walked toward the scene. 

Some words exchanged, and the man scoffed before he released the hold, walking away grumpily. Youngjae turned to the other male at the same time at the other did, and they both widened their eyes in surprised. 

"Daehyun hyung."

"Youngjae." 

Youngjae was shock. His hyung looked the same as he did years ago, still youthful appearance despite being 31, only smaller, not as strong, not as lively. 

Daehyun looked like the world had run over him and left him dragged miles under its wheel. 

Daehyun stepped back, as if to run away, and Youngjae took at moment to leap forward and embrace his hyung in a hug. 

He missed him. He missed him so much. He missed his voice, his smell, the way he looked, his big eyes which seemed to say a thousand word, his voice that sang lullaby to him every night when he was small. 

He missed his hyung. 

Daehyun thrashed a little bit before he stopped, buried his head into Youngjae's broad shoulders and cried. 

Youngjae wrapped his arms tighter around his hyung, and when he looked up, Youngjae pulled him in a kiss. 

Daehyun didn't fight back, letting Youngjae ravished his lips and mouth, letting himself selfishly stealing the warmth in the arm of the boy who shouldn't be holding him this way. 

That night, Youngjae held Daehyun in his arms. He kissed him, as he pinned the other man to the soft bed in his room, stripping him of his clothes. Youngjae slowly and carefully guided his hyung, let themselves tangled in each other heat, sweat and bodies

Daehyun cried out his name when they both came, breathing heavily and sweaty. 

Youngjae pulled out and flopped down next to his hyung. He wrapped an arm around the small waist and pulled him closer. 

He didn't want to let go. 

Daehyun woke up in the warm bed, but his heart felt as cold as the snow outside the window. He shook and buried his face in his arms. 

Daehyun cried, muffled sobs filled the air and reached Youngjae's ears. The younger male sat up and immediately wrapped his arms around Daehyun. 

"Hyung. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He said desperately, trying to calm his hyung. 

Youngjae held the older male as he cried, sad and broken, like how he was the day Youngjae left him. 

"I'm here for you hyung. I'm sorry. I'll protect you." Youngjae whispered softly. "I love you." 

It had been 3 months since Youngjae found Daehyun back, and this time, he wasn't going to let him go. Youngjae wanted to keep Daehyun forever in his arms, to let his small frame fit perfectly against Youngjae, warm and secure. 

Youngjae wasn't Daehyun's little boy anymore. He had grown up, much taller and bigger, even bigger than his hyung. 

Daehyun had taken care of him, protected him and shield him from the brute force of the world with his small hands and fragile frame. 

And this time, Youngjae would do the same. 

A/n: holy hell this was so long. I was gonna make it quick and short but I went all out yesterday and produced this flop of an angst one shot. 
Hope you enjoy it and comment ;;;