"But like a burnt out flame, 

burnt and destroyed, 

all of our love."

- Taeyang (눈,코,입)

1.5k words

unbeta-ed & written in lapslock

Don’t be sorry,

that makes me more pitiful.

jongin,

i am sorry

it’s over now

- kyungsoo

jongin’s face turns a pale ashen. his blank eyes read the text he received a hours ago from kyungsoo.

he is sorry.

the nauseated feeling is rising beneath his chest, it makes jongin want to run to the nearest bathroom and puke his guts out. he excuses himself, ignoring the pointed look krystal gives him because frankly, jongin’s had enough of her annoying and whiny complaints.

at first, he’d only spoken to her because he saw her depressed over her breakup a few months ago. being a good friend, jongin comforted her and tried to be there for her always, soon it ended up being an obnoxiously clingy friendship. using this to her advantage, krystal began her advances towards jongin. never once could jongin reject her invitations, he wouldn’t dare to since the last time he did, she tried to cut herself. fearing for her life, jongin did everything he could to aid her - sleepless nights and restless days ended up with him walking lifelessly back home.

if only he knew that it didn’t cost the love of his relationship with kyungsoo.

With your pretty red lips

please hurry, kill me and go.

I’m all right.

he locks the door to the bathroom and slumps down to the ground slowly as if he’s afraid that his legs might go out on him. a sob leaves him and the floodgates open themselves; jongin weeps into the sleeve of his shirt.

it smells like kyungsoo, he misses kyungsoo. jongin knows he hasn’t been a good boyfriend to kyungsoo but the love he has for him -

it has never changed.

jongin pretends not to see, pretends not to feel - how broken and torn his heart is when he returns back to the apartment, only to find his shared home (with kyungsoo) empty. he stumbles through the front door and sees a something glinting on top of the coffee table. before he reaches for the ring, tears are already running down his cheeks.

and the keys of his apartment is sitting silently atop the cabinet.

so, is this relationship still salvageable?

Look at me one last time

Smile like nothing’s wrong,

so when I miss you I can remember.

So I can draw your face in my mind.

jongin’s exhausted. he crawls up to the bed and dives under the covers, groping blindlessly for a warm body which is his lover. a tired grin appears on his face when he finds the petite form and jongin scoots closer, wrapping his arms around kyungsoo’s slim waist.

“hyung..” the tan male nuzzles affectionately into the crook of kyungsoo’s neck. he inhales the sweet scent greedily because once is not enough, he needs a dose of this every day just to remind himself how lucky he is to have this wonderful person right here next to him.

“what is it, jongin?” the older male replies in a drowsy voice, sounding half asleep.

a giggle leaves him and jongin cuddles closer to his boyfriend, whispering an “i love you.”

he’s not sure if kyungsoo’s fully awake but jongin could faintly hear a gasp coming from the other. he feels the small body within his arms tremble a little, jongin wants to ask ‘what’s wrong, hyung’ but the sleep washes over jongin like a wave.

the next day he wakes up, jongin has completely forgotten about it.

what a fool he has been. when all this time kyungsoo has been hurting because of him.

My selfishness that couldn’t let you go

turned into an obsession that imprisoned you.

Were you hurt because of me?

You sit silently.

weeks gone by yet he couldn’t forget.

those mesmerizing eyes of his, they were so expressive and lovely, emotions flickering across those orbs like an open book for jongin to read. his small nose that jongin loves to pinch in a teasing way and sometimes leave a peck or two. red succulent lips that jongin couldn’t tear his eyes away from, lips that jongin want to kiss for a lifetime and wants to hear endless ‘i love you’ spilling from those gorgeous twin petals.

he would never be able to forget.

love isn’t painless. if jongin is given a second chance, he would do anything to make things right for kyungsoo.

Your black eyes that only saw me

Your nose that held the sweetest breath

Your lips that whispered ‘i love you, i love you’..I….

he never sees kyungsoo around anymore since he graduated. jongin’s heart twist painfully at the thought of kyungsoo avoiding him like a plague.

“kyungsoo’s studying abroad now. heard that he’s taken up an offer in UK.” sehun mentions one day when it’s just the three of them, sitting in the cafeteria.

“i see..” jongin pokes the radish in his plate distastefully. he just lost his appetite. he doesn’t enjoy food as much as he used to before; he’s losing weight and turning skinny. he isn’t the same like before.

“you’re going to have to get over him eventually.” krystal pats his back and smiles encouragingly. she isn’t the same like before too. after months of recuperating over a broken love, the girl has morphed into a confident woman that made jongin proud.

“like how your ex got over you so quickly.” sehun glares at her openly. he still hasn’t forgiven her for being selfish, for taking his friend’s happiness and tearing apart kyungsoo and his relationship.

“she’s right, sehun.” jongin longingly stares at the ring on his left hand, he’s never taken it off ever since kyungsoo. “i have to move on.” maybe, just maybe he’ll keep it on because memories of kyungsoo are so precious, they deserve to be kept in a special way.

Everyday I grow restless,

Everything about you is becoming faint.

You smile back in our pictures,

unknowing of our approaching farewell.

a few years have passed, jongin has enrolled into the college he has always dreamed of. he’s going to pursue his passion for dance and arts. if only kyungsoo is still here, jongin can imagine the proud look he’d give him, all those kisses and words of ‘congratulations, jongin, i’m so proud of you, i love you.’

“hyung, i did it.” he whispers, thumbing the photograph of him and kyungsoo during their early days of dating. jongin smiles in reminisce, they were once so happy and so in love.

but the flames of their love has burnt out leaving only ashes behind of what’s called their memories.

but like a burnt out flame,

burnt and destroyed

all of our love.

it hurts so much, but now I’ll call you a memory.

sometimes jongin helps out at his sister’s cafe when he gets a break from college. it helps him get kyungsoo off his head. besides he likes the smell of caffeine brewing, the delightful atmosphere in the homely cafe makes him less depressed. mostly, he’d serve food and beverages for the customers, smiling politely and asking if they had anything else that they need. otherwise, jongin would sit at the back of the cash register and steal a couple cupcakes from the aisle, earning a whack from his older sister.

it’s nearing closing time and jongin’s too exhausted, he just lies on top of the table, cushioned by his arms. his eyelids are so heavy, he’s going to fall asleep soon. then there’s a jingle of bells, which is odd because no customers would drop by since it’s just a few more minutes left before they close. jongin brushes the thought aside and continues sipping his mocha, a treat from his sister for working hard today.

he stares off blankly out of the window. sounds of footsteps approached his table but jongin remained still.

“hello. i was wondering if this seat is free?” a smooth velvety voice enquires.

jongin nods mindlessly without looking up once, too occupied staring at the small foamy bubbles floating in his mocha. there’s sound of chair scraping and the person sits right in front of jongin.

“it’s a nice weather today,” the male speaks out of the blue and a spark hits jongin from the familiarity of his voice. the other only confirms it when he mentions his name, rolling off his tongue in a honey laced tone. “isn’t it jongin?”

jongin would know that voice from anywhere.

heartbeat thundering loudly, jongin raises his head and his eyes widen in disbelief. it is. the flowers are rapidly blooming in his heart like a garden, welcoming the presence of...

Your eyes, nose, lips

Your touch that used to touch me,

to the ends of your fingertips.

I can still feel you

he takes a deep breath and calls out the name he’s been waiting to say since forever.

“kyungsoo.”

[ e n d ]

a/n:

it's pretty much an open ending :O

it's up to you readers to decide what happens after they've finally met since their breakup years ago.

anyway, thank you for reading and putting up with my bad angst ;-; 

also for those who haven't read my latest blogpost regarding updates, please do.

EDITED: don't ask for a sequel because there won't be one.