"Don't let him treat you like that," Yoonhee yelled.

Kai sighed and put his hands over his ears. His oldest sister's voice drilled itself deep into his brain.

 "After everything you've done for him, he can't just treat you like garbage. You need to show him that you're not just some pushover."

He looked straight into the light of his desk lamp and tried not to blink, until tears blurred his vision.

"Hwang Hyemi, I'm telling you," his sister said angrily. "Break up with that guy. And don't tell me that was an accident. You don't just kiss some by accident. This isn't a TV drama."

He didn't mean to eavesdrop but her voice was the only thing that still kept him awake. For the first time he was thankful that she was addicted to talking to her friends until late at night.

His alarm clock kept ticking in its annoying regular rhythm.

There was a noise of water being flushed.
Probably his mother.
She had a weak bladder.

Downstairs someone opened the front foor.
Probably his father.
He always went out to have a drink with his collagues. Socializing, he called it.

Yoonhee laughed hysterically.

Someone pounded against a door.
"Unnie, please, just shut up already," Juri yelled. "I have an important exam tomorrow."

He saw bright spots when he looked at his clock, because he had stared into the lamp for too long. It was not even midnight.

Three days.

He had spent three days without sleep, but he slowly reached his limit. His mind felt like glue.

"I'll call you tomorrow," Yoonhee said. He heard her heavy steps and then the door she opened furiously. It was funny to think that she was the oldest of them. There were five years between her and Kai, but only his school uniform and the height of her heels seemed to give that away.
"Are you happy now? That was a really important call," she said in a shrill voice.

Juri muttered something before she went back. They both slammed their doors.

Kai stared into his lamp.

His body was tired.

His legs itched, but he was too tired to scratch them.

His arms felt numb. They hung on his sides like wet laundry.

And before he had a chance to stop them, his eyes closed and he fell into a black hole.

He felt a little like Alice in Wonderland as he kept falling down what looked like a rabbit hole.

A rabbit carrying his alarm clock fell down next to him. He laughed. It was pathetic.

But if this went on, he would maybe just pass out after a while. Maybe this was what people usually talked about when they were about to die. His whole life flashed by.

"Jongin, look," Chanyeol said, and Kai turned his head. They were on the same level, but unlike him Chanyeol wasn't falling. Unlike him he wasn't out of control.
"I never meant for this to happen. I have no idea how I came here, but at first I didn't even know myself that I wasn't a memory. I barely existed then."

Next to them Kai's grandfather spiralled down with his old-fashioned walking stick. "Just take small steps, boy," his voice echoed.

Small steps.

That was what he had explained back when he taught him how to control his dream spaces. He had told him to think of one simple thing, something he could focus on, so that he could block out all the other images.

"I need your power," Chanyeol said, when bright light flooded the world around them. It was pink, like the light of a lamp through closed eyelids.

Small steps.

Kai hit the ground and all the images were swept away. He had to think of one simple thing, the same simple thing that had helped him before.

A flashy robot peeled itself out of the ground like an insect in spring. It had been the mascot of a science fiction cartoon Kai had loved as a child. He probably still had his headless toy somewhere.

His grandfather had told him that he had thought of his father's horse as a child, but to Kai it was easier to think of a toy, rather than of something complicated like a big animal.

The robot took heavy steps that made the ground shake. In the background its title music played.

Kai tried not to look at Chanyeol, who sighed again.

If he just treated a parasite like any other dream image he didn't want, it would maybe go away. If he just focussed all his will, maybe...

"Kim Jongin, look," Chanyeol said and touched the robot that inflated like a balloon. Kai's knees gave way. He was sick of it.

"Jongin," Chanyeol said again, and Kai wondered whether he had realized all the time what it meant to know a name. Every time he uttered his name, Kai would become weaker. He already was little more than a joke inside his own world. "I know I should have told you, when I realized that I'm..." He trailed off, still unwilling to admit that he had turned into a monster.
"This is the only chance I have. I mean, you know, don't you? That I wouldn't even exist any longer if not for you. That woman has stolen my body, and I've never been very strong to begin with."

"Woman?" Kai asked.

"I can beat her," Chanyeol said firmly. "I can beat her if I have your power."

The brightness of the world around him hurt Kai's eyes.

He tried to wake up.

"I'm really sorry about all this," Chanyeol said quietly. "But I can't stop now."

Kai sank into the ground, as if it was him who had become the memory.