"Things that you hide will eventually come out."

          Luhan acts too kind when I'm around him. For the sake of Jongin, I’m trying my best to shut him out. Let’s just say, that didn’t work out. Everytime I pass him in the hallways, he grabs my wrist and drags me to the opposite direction. And he tries to get me talking.

            Being rude is never an attribute of mine, but I have to learn to shield myself for Jongin. On top of that, Luhan always looks desperate. It didn’t suit him. Aimlessly walking down the school halls, I spot Luhan entering the Janitor’s closet with a phone in his hand. Pressing my ear against the door, his voice sends tremors into my spine. Luhan sounds irritated.

"Ugh, you know the drill. Beat up that pansy- Kim Jongin. Luhan laughs obnoxiously.

 "You better do it properly this time. I don’t want to have to dump your head in another toilet bowl." Luhan spits out, just like every other threat.

           That mask of his is finally taken off of his innocent and too kind face. And it’s reeking out, infecting with worries. Realizing the Luhan will come out the door any moment now, I scuffle towards the girl’s washroom just a few doors down. Examining his surroundings, he puts his cool on and goes away.

Nevertheless, he’s making sure no one was listening to him.

That no one is specifically me.

     Maybe it’s because I’m the only who cares about Jongin. In the eyes of other people Jongin is just this antisocial, emotionless, weak person. But not for me, he’s more than that. The more I defend Jongin, the more I gain confidence for myself. 

     The sound of the final bell alarms me-alerts me that I have to find Jongin. As I go out of my way to exit the entrance doors, from a distance, I could see him exiting the front gates. A gang of Kingka’s come running up to him, one grabbing his neck and playfully nudging him.

       The other attempt to punch him without making it look like it hurt, but Jongin’s quick to respond. And the people walking behind and in front of them could notice something’s wrong. Wasting no time, I sprint following them.

        My skirt was flying, and I had to pull it down every one and a while. Out of sight, the gang of Kingka’s start punching with impact to make him stop trying to escape. Almost circling the whole schools, the gang settles in the Basketball court at the back of the school. Its location’s near the place where Jongin got beat up last time.

        Jong In gets thrown, landing into the cement pavement. Still sprinting as fast as my legs could take me. My legs become springs jumping roughly into one of their backs. Just like an exasperated monkey who has been trapped in a solemn place for a long time. This is what my psychiatrist had predicted would come out sooner or later; my inner .

       Park Chanyeol, that’s his name. The goofy, get-along, humours Park Chanyeol is a moron just like me who lets other people control his life.  Flinging my shoulder across his neck, I squeeze his neck so that his enormous larynx has trouble getting air. Squeezing my arm harder and harder, just a couple more seconds and I will be able to get him dizzy and maybe unconscious.

"Why the hell are you here? Go away! This is not your business!” Jong In screeches.

”Of course, it is! You’re my boyfriend." I acknowledge my lie as if it’s a true fact.

     Vigorously whipping his back and forth, my grip loses on every swing. With an impact, the first part that hits the pavement is my head. An intolerable amount of pain buzzes on the left side of my cranium, eventually spreading to the surfaces of my skull.

I can’t give up now; even with my knees trembling with fear, I couldn’t let Jongin down-I couldn’t let myself down.

"Please! Go! I don't want you to get hurt!" Jong In begs recklessly.

       But they didn’t pay attention to me; their wolf-like eyes are looking at Jongin-the prey. I’m just a girl, who is weak, and naïve, and reckless, with no idea how to live her own life; that’s what they’re thinking right now. Sharp blows are constantly thrown at Jongin on every part of his body, like he’s the local punching bag at the most busiest gym.

        Just like what I’ve done the first time I met him, I shield my body with mine. My eyes are shut. I realize everything stops; all the chaos as of this moment. Like Do Min Joon had stopped time to just to stare at Cheon Song Yi. A tympanic rhythm of someone’s sneakers can be heard beating hard against the ground.

       The sneaker’s belongs to no one else but Luhan. Uncovering Jongin, Luhan throws a curve ball; his hand reaches out at Jong In; clearly trying to make me misinterpret the situation. But Jong In’s smart enough not to take it. Instead he glares at him with tension.  

      Luhan’s eyes dilate, panicking right on the spot. Now, his hand extends for me to take it. Keeping a neutral face, I firmly grip it. If he thinks that I believe him, I’m going to prove to him that I don’t.

  Pursing my lips, I throw my hand forward whipping across his face as hard as I possibly could. The crack of the impact echoes in the empty basketball court, as the rest of the Kingka’s gasp in denial.

I don’t regret what I’ve done; in fact for the first time I’ve been able to express anger.

And it’s all because of Jongin. Luhan’s face is smitten with a red mark, the exact same mark on my hand. He throws in a grieveful laugh.

"I can't believe it. You like this little bastard!?" Luhan hollers with rage.

"What? You got it a problem with it?" I cross my arms.

       Fury is burning in Luhan’s eyes like a fire that starts in a compartment in the school, eventually spreading everywhere. Luhan approaches Jong In and     swings his legs like he is about to hit a soccer ball. It lands right on Jong in’s left rib cage. Jong In emits out a wheeze full of pain. Walking toward Luhan once again, I swing my palm once again. Landing on the exact same spot, I say

"This is for making me think, you were a decent person.”,

"This is for bullying Jong In.", this time I swing my left palm toward his left side.

"This is for your disgusting personality!" I scream.

       Red marks now fill Luhan’s face. And not a single feeling of remorse or regret is felt in me. Eyes on the cement, Luhan avoids mine. Just like how a mother scolds his son for what he did wrong. Glaring at me, his eyes displays hurt. Did I just crush the most popular Kingka: Luhan?

"Do you know what I've been through to judge me like that!?" Luhan stammers at me.

"Why do I care? If you're this arrogant right now, I wouldn't even bother to know what kind of personality you had back then." I let out a breath.

       Pools of salty water linger in his eyes, and at any second the pool will spill. Two tears come drifting down at the same time. My mind switches gears; the fact that I had courage to confront Luhan with his ratchet behavior, did it possibly make the situation even worse than before? That thought stuck onto me like a piece of gum that gets stuck to your hair.

And it possibly won't ever come out.  

...

        Luhan is trying with utmost determination to kiss me. What the hell? Ever since the scene a few days ago he’s been acting different-evil. Luhan grabs me, and pins me to the lockers roughly. Sweat prickles down my neck, Jongin should be here defending me.

"The more you resist. The more feelings I grow for you." Luhan his lips.

       I almost want to throw up in disgust. It’s a good think I got out of his grip. There are 3 weeks left until I have to break up with Jongin. And I honestly don’t want to. Unlike the beginning it was just a dare, but now it’s not anymore. Love is a strange feeling, and I don’t quite know how to explain it.

There are two parts to love, it can heal you or it can break you.

        Healing is gaining self-respect and also for your partner. In love, you are able to defend yourself and that certain person, you see all the potential your partner has, and most importantly the potential you have within yourself. But this relationship is based on lies, and at the end it’s nothing but a broken mirror that can never be fixed; this is the ‘break you’ part.

        Even thinking about it, after all the confidence I have gained, that confidence is fake. I feel like a doll being used over and over, being thrown away over and over. Cause to everyone I am nothing but a piece of trash switching from owner to owner. Doesn’t it seem like that? Wincing, I prepare myself to face the consequences I’ve made for myself through my foolish actions.

"Are you okay?" Jong In looks at me earnestly.

"I'm fine, I just have a migraine." I lie once again.

      I kind of wish humans wouldn’t have the ability to lie. So our lives will only be full of truths. But we clearly can’t do that. Class is still going on, and I am sitting on my desk thinking about what I have to face in the future.

“So? What secrets do you have?" Luhan whispers in my ear, making me jolt away from him.

Jong In uses his arms to make me lean onto him.

"Don't tell him. He'll ruin your life." Jong In whispers.

Luhan sneers at the two of us- looking all lovey-dovey; like all the normal couples. Luhan constantly pokes me everytime he has the chance. And yes, in fact- He is ANNOYING AS HELL.

"I know your secret." my eyes widen, did that Queenka tell him this dare!?

 "Oh motherer" cussing under my breath, I’m dead.

"Do you want me to tell Jong In?" Luhan says, so that Jong In can hear.

"Tell me what?" Jong In looks at both of us.

"Uhm. It's something about our 300th day anniversary. You don't want to spoil it don't you?" I come up with an excuse. Luhan laughs mockingly; making sure everyone can hear him.

"Is there something funny, Mr. Xi Luhan?" The frightening teacher looks at the three of us.

"Would you like to share it with us?" The teacher looks at the three of us again. Panic shocks feel like a million fire ants are stinging my skin.

"Luhan's just laughing at his own jokes." I scoff. Luhan nods in amusement, not saying a single word. The teacher goes back to his lesson. Rubbing my sweating palms against my skirt, the vibration of my phone in my pocket makes me shiver.

[From: Luhan]

I'm going to tell him. You're just a , doing this dare to date him. AND THAT YOU DON'T REALLY LOVE HIM, EVEN JUST A SINGLE BIT...

[To: Luhan]

Please don't. I’m begging you right now. What the hell do you want? 

[From: Luhan]

 Kiss me.

Luhan throws the most unattractive wink at me. 

[To: Luhan]
…What if I say no?...

[From: Luhan]

Trust me, you wouldn't want to do that.

       My toes are on the edge of a canyon, and when I fall, I fall into the abyss that is known as my own life.  At lunch break, Luhan finds me and drags me into the janitor's closet. Jong In had an Info-tech meeting again. As soon as Luhan shuts the door closed, he immediately pins me into the wall. At first, I resist.

Dignity? I don’t have any, they all took it away.

       Or I let them take it away. I feel like one of those strip club girls who would flirt and kiss all the guys in the bar. Luhan locks a kiss. Playing with my tongue, and biting my lip. Numbing my mouth is just a few seconds. Luhan is an animal.

      Weeping is what I did, although it was muffled because our mouths were so close together. Too busy shedding my dignity away, Luhan takes a picture. He finally stops. As I throw my hand to slap him, his hand his quick enough to stop me.

"Thanks for the kiss. Hoe!" He chortles and leaves.

        Spitting all the saliva out of my mouth to the sink to my left, my entire body loses its strength. And I collapse to the ground, cry in silence and nothing else. A creak is heard, and the door slowly opens. Shaking my head, I rapidly brushed the tears off my cheeks.

Jongin stands before me, with a concerned look.

"What happened? Why the hell are you crying?" Jong In's voice’s soothing.

"It's nothing. A girl was just being mean to me." I lie again.

Not a single truth comes out of my mouth, and it is now a cycle. Lying to cover up my lies

 "Don't worry, I'll be right here." 

*author's note

 Finally could update.

------>Dec 13 2014,

LOL You probably noticed I joined chapters together so it's much longer.

EDITED

-oasisgrounds